Susan Lucci — From Soap Opera Star to Widow and Everything in Between

[1:26]Zibby Owens: Hi. This is Zibby Owens, and you're listening to Totally Booked with Zibby. Formerly, moms don't have time to read books. In my daily show, I interview today's latest, best selling, buzziest, or underrated authors and story creators whose work I think is worth your time. As a bookstore owner, publisher, author, and obviously podcaster, I get a comprehensive look at everything that's coming out and spend my time curating the best books so you don't have to. Stay in the know, get insider insights, and connect with guests like I do every single day. For more information, go to zippymedia.com, and follow me on Instagram at zibby owens. Susan Lucci. Okay. This was a complicated interview because, well, it's my fault. I recorded it first and accidentally did not record our conversation, which has only happened to me, I think, three times in the history of this show. I was devastated to lose it because it was this intimate, amazing conversation where she was crying a little bit, and it was just, like, so good. And I realized after with my head in my hands that it had not recorded, and I was just devastated. But luckily, she happened to be in New York the next day, and her amazing publicists invited me to their office to interview her in person. So we ducked into a little studio in their office and rerecorded a conversation. I tried to have a different conversation the second time, so it's a little different. I'm sorry you couldn't hear the first one, but both were delightful. Susan Lucci is amazing. I am such a huge, huge fan. And I just ate up her book. There is so much interesting information in there. Her whole life has been just a dream, but also has had so many challenges. The loss of her husband and writing about that aftermath was so powerful, and I think it will help anybody who has lost anybody. But also, of course, her role as a soap opera star has fascination as well. It's a lot about mother, child, sort of work life balance. There's just so much in here. And even if you didn't watch All My Children, even if you don't know who she is, You can pick it up and learn so much from entertainment to motherhood to to loss and grief, friendship, all of it. Here's her bio. Susan Lucci is one of the most iconic faces in television history, best known for playing Erica Kane on ABC's All My Children for over forty years, earning a historic Daytime Emmy Award and a Lifetime Achievement Award. Her career spans television, film, Broadway, and hosting with credits including Devious Maids, Joy, and Dancing with the Stars among others, A successful entrepreneur and philanthropist, Susan Lucci is also a New York Times bestselling author. She is set to star opposite Keanu Reeves in the upcoming Apple film, Outcome, and her second memoir, La Lucci, is what we are talking about today. Welcome, Susan. Take two. Thank you so much for coming on Totally Wicked, our repeat edition.

[4:30]Susan Lucci: I really appreciate it. Oh, well, thank you. I'm happy to be here. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Yes. Our episode yesterday

[4:37]Zibby Owens: was not properly recorded, and so here we are in person, which is even better. Even better. Happy to meet you in person. You too. You. Well, I don't wanna make this repetitive, but I do want you to tell listeners a little bit about why you decided to write a memoir right now. Like, why this memoir, why this story,

[4:53]Susan Lucci: and what are you most proud of in the book? This is a wonderful, very multifaceted

[4:58]Zibby Owens: Yeah, just start there. We'll go all over the place. Okay.

[5:02]Susan Lucci: Why now? Well, my first memoir came out fifteen years ago and when I wrote it the title was All My Life. And what I realized living these last fifteen years is that was not all my life. A lot of events happened in my life. Some sad, some devastating, and some earlier and during some wonderful things. So I write about those stories in a voice that has evolved in me too in the last fifteen years. I feel like I'm much more candid now. I was being honest and truthful in my first memoir, but I feel that I have found my more candid voice the freedom to speak that way. And I wanted to. I wanted to tell my story in an effort to connect to others. I think when we tell our stories just as human beings, we share a lot in our humanity and it connects us to each other. And I wanted people to hear my story and the choices that I have made in these important times and it will connect us. I agree. It absolutely connected. I mean, you shared your most vulnerable feelings about your own health, your husband's loss, being a mom, being a working mom,

[6:19]Zibby Owens: all the things that people are wrestling with. How do we stay healthy, take care of ourselves,

[6:25]Susan Lucci: not lose the plot in all of it? And I feel like you really addressed you so all much. You. You know, one thing I wanted to be sure about when I was writing it, I was writing it with Laura Morton who helped me with my first book too. She's wonderful. And, she asks questions in a certain way that somehow just brought me out and brought me able to answer them because I'm not someone who just kind of randomly decides I'm going to tell people my story. She really was wonderful in that. And one thing I did say to her, and she has captured my voice. Well, recorded the whole time, so my voice was right there. But I said, Laura, I want to be sure there are no teaching moments here. There's no teachable moments. There are no bumper stickers here. I simply want to tell my story and tell the choices that I made. And I think the audience is way smart enough to decide what they relate to and see if they find something that might in some way

[7:25]Zibby Owens: be relatable to them and make them feel not alone. Well, you show us at the beginning of your career more when you had a lot of sort of self doubt we didn't know. If you didn't know your life story you could read and think, well, did she get the part? Like, what ended up happening? And then, of course, you take us through as you go through the twists and turns on All My Children, the ending of the show, but also some of the highlights. I think actually one of my favorites was when you were with your daughter Liza in, I don't know, some department store restaurant and four people came up to you.

[7:57]Susan Lucci: She asked Is you actually. He was, yes. Oh, it's Andreas? I'm sorry. No, because he's five years younger. That's how I remember him. Oh, okay. I remember him. Well, you tell the story. Oh, just I'm glad you thought it was funny because I did too. Yeah, was having lunch and Andres was with me as a baby. Actually, Liza was with us too, of course. She was still little and we were together and was a restaurant. It was the Birdcage at Lord and Taylor in my hometown. And we all teach our children not to talk to strangers and so on. During the course of their lunch, some people came up to me and spoke to me and I spoke back to them. And when they left, Andrea said, Who were they, mommy? And I said, Oh, honey, they are some ladies who recognize me from my work on TV. And he said, he looked around and he said, So, out of all these people, only four people recognized you.

[8:55]Zibby Owens: He's about four years old himself. Oh my gosh, that's so cute. There's nothing like kids to just totally bring us down. Keep our feet on the ground. And you talk in the book about how you would go and you would shoot and be all in the scene and everything and then race off and next thing you know, you're on the soccer sidelines or whatever sports game or Yeah, practice, Yeah, and with the other parents. So you didn't miss a beat. You somehow made it all, you fit it in the way you wanted to. Talk a little bit about that because that can feel hard.

[9:23]Susan Lucci: Yes, and I'm sure any mother, you know, wants to be everywhere for everyone, if you have more than one child, have two soccer games for each child on the weekend and that's just with two. I don't know how people I have four, so have four. Oh my gosh, So you know

[9:39]Zibby Owens: Better than I ever do. They don't all play soccer, so we're good. But

[9:43]Susan Lucci: I never wanted my children to miss out on my being with them or anything simply because I also since I was a little girl, since I can remember, I wanted to be an actress. So I got to be an actress, but I didn't want my children to suffer anything if I couldn't be there. So I made sure I was there. And yeah, it takes a lot of scheduling, a lot of planning and a lot of help, you know, with your spouse to be on board with everything and so you can make it in time. Because I would also stay for karate when my son had karate. I would go there and I didn't just drop him off, you know, I would stay. And if my daughter as a little girl growing up would have dance rehearsal or she was doing some wonderful work on stage as a little actress, you know, amateur, you know, nothing professional, I would stay and watch rehearsals, you know. So I really wanted to do that and make sure they didn't miss anything.

[10:39]Zibby Owens: So your sense of family is obviously so strong. You tell us all about your birth family, like your parents, And then of course, falling in love with your husband Helmut, your relationship, his backstory, who he was really as a person. And then you take us into the crushing loss of losing him, was so devastating the way you wrote about it. I felt like at times I was just reading your diary that you were having a tough day and you just had to write it and I was like there hoping I could give you a hug and scoop you off the floor. Tell me a little bit about that and retelling exactly what happened and the month where you were waiting and then writing it and having to relive it in that way? Was it helpful, hurtful? It was just pouring out of me. You know, even before

[11:25]Susan Lucci: I was in your Courage to Write a New Memoir, I would wake up in the middle of the night and things were just pouring out of me. I had pencil and pen and paper next to my side of the bed. And I just needed to write it and tell the story and write it. I talk about a dream that I had. And sometimes you can forget dreams. I didn't want to forget it. I wanted to remember. And I wanted to write these things. I don't know why. I guess I couldn't help myself. And then being encouraged to write by Nelson Demille, who was a very good friend of both my husband and me. And he didn't know that I was up in the middle of the night writing. But it seemed like all the stars aligned, I was being encouraged by other people in the publishing field and writers who I didn't even know knew that I had ever written a first book, you know? So I was very encouraged, and I

[12:25]Zibby Owens: thought, Okay, I should do this. And what would Helmut say

[12:30]Susan Lucci: right now? Helmut was always encouraging me to do what I wanted to do. To say that, you know, Helmut was, he didn't stand in the way, he was part of them, part of everything I did. You know, He encouraged me and he assured me that I could. I mean, were times, and I talk about this in the book a little bit too, actors have stage fright sometimes. Or I would read a script and I'd say, Oh, I want to do this, but I can't do this. I don't know if I can do this. He'd say, Of course you can do this with one hand tied behind your back. You know, he was very much just encouraging.

[13:05]Zibby Owens: And I think you write so well about just how painful these setbacks, like losing someone you love more than life itself, can be or when you had your own heart issues or things that just kept coming up throughout the course of the book, how you were able, even though it didn't feel like you could at first, you were able to pick yourself back up, whether it was the end of the show or the end of a life with someone so close to you. How do other people learn from you? Like, I know you don't want teachable moments, but has any anyone wiser and who's been through it? Like, what is the secret to getting through pain? Today's episode is sponsored by Quince. Summer always makes me rethink what I'm reaching for every day. Lighter fabrics, better materials, pieces that just feel good the moment you put them on and look effortless. That's why I keep coming back to quints. They focus on high quality essentials. Think breathable linen, soft organic cotton, washable silk, but without the luxury markup. It's that rare balance where everything feels elevated but still easy. Quince has beautiful everyday pieces like 100% European linen pants, dresses, and tops with styles starting at $32. Denim is soft and easy to wear. I wear my jean jacket all the time. And their organic cotton sweaters are perfect for layering on cool summer nights. Everything at Quince is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. Quince works directly with ethical factories and cuts out the middlemen, so you're paying for quality, not brand markup. And it's not just clothing. Quince has really become a destination for elevated essentials across home, kitchen, bedding, and beyond, making it easy to bring a more premium feel in into everyday life. In addition to my jean jacket, I recently got a white tank top dress with a beautiful cotton skirt that is absolutely gorgeous, and I can't wait for it to be warm enough so I can wear it every day, but it has been a cool spring. Elevate your summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com/zippy for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty five day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's q u I n c e dot com slash zibi for free shipping and three hundred and sixty five day returns. Quince.com/zibi.

[16:30]Susan Lucci: I don't think there is any such thing as that a secret, the secret. It's different. Grief is so different for everyone. I will say there's no timeline and no somebody else's way of getting past the grief or living with the grief is maybe not the same as yours. But I think we can all learn from each other. And I think just knowing that you're not alone in it and that you can pick yourself up off the floor and take a step and find yourself again and find some hope again, I think it's possible. And when you see someone else do it, maybe you can read their story and relate to it and it can be of help to you.

[17:21]Zibby Owens: I love that. You also, I thought it was so great. You were referencing all these books that you had read and authors who had inspired you through the journey and you really can tell that you love to learn like, you know, you're getting advice and all that. And then you gave us the whole reading list. So thank you for that. That was lovely. Oh, good.

[17:39]Susan Lucci: Well, friends had sent me books and they were such a help. And then I would hear about some books and I'd incorporate those too. But I was very helped by those books. Also, I'm looking at the front cover and at the back cover. Actually, husband took that picture. And we were really just setting up a shot. We were going to shoot something. Helmut And became the production manager, the set decorator, the director, and the photographer. So this was something I just had made into a photo digitally, but I had it printed up for myself. So that was taken by Helmut. In this, the first, on the front cover, this was a shoot we did shortly before Helmut had a stroke. And he loved this outfit so much. I had never worn a jacket like that. And I was a little shy about coming downstairs. We showed this at the house. And this became his favorite thing. And he would say to me, we'd go out for dinner with friends, and I'd say, Oh, I don't know what to wear. And he'd say, Fun to wear that little black jacket. I'd say, god, Tanya, I can't wear this.

[18:56]Zibby Owens: Mean, you look amazing. Oh, thank you. I mean, maybe we could talk about that. What are your secrets to looking so awesome no matter what? I I'm not even gonna ask your age, because I would never, but you you have fewer wrinkles than I do, we're like sitting here together. That was so nice, thank you. What is your skincare? You regimen have you like? Do, I

[19:20]Susan Lucci: they have varied because I will try new things, but I have a basic regimen and the regimen is important to me. Am disciplined about that and I think that's probably a key. I also think it's really good to take things a day at a time and it helps you keep disciplined because if you're only doing it for one more day or one more night, and it takes a little longer than it used to, too, there's more to it. But, you know, take your makeup off. Do all the steps. If you look fine today, well, you're not going look worse tomorrow. If you just take it a day at a time, because it can be really overwhelming, I think, when we think, Oh, have to do this now for five years or ten years or whatever, you know?

[20:04]Zibby Owens: Yeah. I hear you. Oh, my gosh. Is there anything you miss about being in the spotlight every single day and acting every single day and just having that routine in your life versus this stage of your life? Do you miss do you wish you could go back? Are you happy where you are? Oh, that's a big question too.

[20:24]Susan Lucci: I miss being part of a team. I miss that and the teams I was part of, particularly All My Children. And then after that, Devious Maids, that Mark Cherry wrote. I mean, was in such good hands on both those times. Those were many years. So I miss the team and the people who made up the team. It's something very special to have in in one's life, to be part of that kind of a team. So I miss that. I don't miss the schedule. In fact, I am still close to a number of people from ABC and we sometimes look at each other and say, Oh my God, did we do that? Because do you remember there was a song, Dolly Parton wrote Working nine to five? Yes. We said, Five to nine. Nonstop. Nonstop. Didn't leave the studio till you got it right, until it was all there, even when you were coming back early the next morning. So it was definitely like Old Man River just kept rolling along.

[21:26]Zibby Owens: Are there things that people who have watched you for years or feel like they know you I mean, I feel in this book you gave us so much information from, you know, how you handle anything from, you know, the aftermath of loss to your daily, you know, post your interactions with friends. Like all the things that are the inner world of people, right, that we don't see behind the curtain. You revealed a lot here. But if there was something that the people who feel they know you are going to learn that they'd be most surprised about, there's a roundabout way of asking this question. Like, what you think it would be? Is there, like how closely do you feel your public image adheres to your private one? Well, I think that people who only know me as Erica Kane

[22:15]Susan Lucci: will be very surprised. That you're not. I think that would be surprising. As I said, I think that my voice is, the voice I have evolved to have in this writing is more candid than they see. And also if people see me at all, you know, they'll see me in interview situations on TV. Those are sound. Those are very short segments. I think there's seven minutes altogether. And that's time for the person to ask a question and an answer. And there's another question. It's not much time to really express what is really what you're feeling or what you're doing and thinking. So I think there's more time here. Not that it's a big long book, but there's more freedom to speak this way. Also in the recorded book, I have to say I had a wonderful time recording the book, which I did right here. The book is in my voice for sure. But then you'd actually be to actually be the one with the voice recording just kind of opened it up so much for me too. I had fun recording. And what brings you the most joy right now? Oh, I don't know what to say to that. I'm able to think that there is joy, you know, It's not the same joy, but there is joy and I'm able at least to understand that I have some joy. It's an ongoing situation.

[23:41]Zibby Owens: Okay. Do you have advice for all the people out there who just wish they could have a career like the one that you've had, a life like the one that you Oh, you write about in the book. No, really. I mean, this is a dream come true in some respects. Obviously, nothing inoculates you from loss, right? But how

[24:00]Susan Lucci: do you encourage people to pursue their artistic goals? I think to learn everything they can, get the best training they can, to do what you love to begin with. To do what you love and if you really love it, go for it. Don't put blinders on. Learn from your mistakes too. Don't be afraid and realize there are lots of ways to be in a certain field. Know if the performance doesn't work out well there's producing and there's writing and many, many adjacent areas that you can go into. But remember in New York, here in the city, there was a fleet of buses called the Big Red Bus. And they decided to name each bus after a New Yorker. And they named one after me. I was so honored. So honored. And they asked me to sign one of the seats and say something to people who would be coming on in that signature. And so I wrote, dream big and enjoy the ride. I think that's really important. I love that. Perfect.

[25:08]Zibby Owens: Well, Susan, thank you so much for talking to me twice. I can't even believe we had to do this again. I'm so sorry.

[25:16]Susan Lucci: But thank you for all of your time and being so gracious about everything. You're so welcome and back at you. Mean, I'm so happy to meet you in person. Prefer this. This was great.

[25:24]Zibby Owens: Done this from the start. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you for listening to Totally Booked with Sibby, formerly moms don't have time to read books. If you loved the show, tell a friend, leave a review, follow me on Instagram at Zippy Owens, and spread the word. Thanks so much. Oh, and buy the books.