Dr. Becky Kennedy, THAT'S MY TRUCK!: A Good Inside Story About Hitting
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[0:44]Dr. Becky Kennedy is the author of That's My Truck, A Good Inside Story About Hitting.
[0:50]Dr. Becky is the clinical psychologist and mom of three behind the breakthrough
[0:54]parenting company Good Inside.
[0:56]She specializes in helping parents become sturdy leaders in their homes by sharing the
[1:01]skills and strategies parents need to raise resilient kids.
[1:05]Dr. Becky is a number one, New York Times best-selling author, a TED speaker, and the host
[1:09]of the chart-topping podcast Good Inside with Dr. Becky, and is a master global following
[1:14]of millions of parents.
[1:16]Welcome, Dr. Becky.
[1:17]I'm so excited to be talking to you today.
[1:19]Congratulations on That's My Truck, A Good Inside Story About Hitting.
[1:24]Yay.
[1:25]Thank you so much for having me.
[1:26]So excited to finally talk to you.
[1:28]Yay.
[1:29]I know you hit the USA Today list so high up this morning, really exciting.
[1:34]No surprise, but yeah.
[1:36]Thank you.
[1:38]Tell us iners about the book.
[1:39]And if for some reason they have not heard of you yet and don't know about your expertise
[1:44]in the parenting space and what has made you so just such a sensation in terms of how
[1:50]you think about parenting and kids and humanity and all of it, give a little feel about
[1:56]that too.
[1:58]So I love children's books so much.
[2:02]I really believe children's books can bring these kind of moments of connection between
[2:07]a parent and a kid that I think sometimes are really hard to generate on your own at the
[2:11]end of the day when you're stressed and overwhelmed and if you reach for the right book
[2:15]then in my mind has kind of a really meaningful, probably messy, realistic moment.
[2:21]It allows you and your kid to just end the day feeling really connected and to kind of
[2:27]have this deepening and I just know children's books have done that with me and my kids
[2:31]especially they were younger and that's the kind of book I wanted to write.
[2:34]Now the book in some ways is just kind of this manifestation of a lot of these ideas we
[2:39]have around what's really going on for someone when they act out, what do people need,
[2:45]whether they're two or 82, you know, what matters the most.
[2:50]And I think the biggest thing, good inside, really stands for is we really can be firm
[2:57]and boundary and warm and connected to others all at the same time.
[3:01]I think our boundaries kind of allow us to live our values, they kind of keep us connected
[3:05]to ourselves and empathy and validation keep us connected to other people we love and usually
[3:11]we're pretty good at one side of that or the other.
[3:13]Like most people are like I really am good at understanding other people's feelings
[3:16]and I kind of lose myself along the way or oh I'm not in the opposite feedback, I kind
[3:21]of always know what I want and sometimes forget there's people I care about, you know,
[3:25]and I want to understand them.
[3:27]And I think good inside is resonating with people because whether it comes alive in a children's
[3:31]book or in our app or in these many programs we do or in the way people are just applying
[3:35]it in the workplace or in our partnerships, there's kind of this sense of oh my goodness
[3:39]there's this very practical way where I can feel like the most confident sturdy true to
[3:43]myself version of me and I feel closer and more connected to the people I care about most and
[3:52]that's really what we're all about giving parents away to feel confident to feel like they get
[3:57]back to what we call the sturdiness, the sense of knowing what I want and kind of the limits
[4:01]I'm allowed to set because they just feel right to me and tolerating my kids' reaction and
[4:06]understanding they're not going to be happy with me along the way and that kind of dance.
[4:11]And so what I really love about this book and what come up a lot that talked about it is I think
[4:17]our first children's book is really about like a moment a lot of people don't like to talk about
[4:23]like kids it they do they hit often that's one way where a kid says I am angry and I don't
[4:31]yet have the skills to manage my anger and so it's coming out as hitting and to me this allows us
[4:38]to really explain what's going on in a different way than commonly is I think in the book we
[4:42]really illustrate Charlie's fear before he hits oh my goodness my sister had my truck like what
[4:47]does she breaks it or I think the kid really does think like what if she plays it that the wrong way
[4:51]and that would be so bad and then of course that feeling gets big and then I don't think a kid
[4:56]really says therefore I'm going to hit my sister no it just happens and that doesn't make it okay
[5:02]but it helps us understand and also in the book we get into how I'm could enter
[5:06]parent could intervene and I just love this experience of I could talk about these
[5:11]ideas but bringing them to light with illustrations and it's like in very simple language
[5:16]like it helps I think apparent as much as it helps the kid I totally agree I mean you you show us
[5:22]on all your social media videos how to manage certain things like taking away an iPad or doing these
[5:28]things and you you sort of like roleplay it for us so we're like okay now I get it and this book
[5:33]is a way of doing that and when you say when you say to Charlie like you're a good kid having a
[5:39]hard time right that is so empathetic it's a different way of looking at it it's so kind he
[5:46]immediately changes you can like see his whole body language and then the situation is diffused
[5:52]and that is such a a generous way to show all of us how to parent I feel like you need a
[5:58]thousand of these for every situation well you know that's probably in line with the number
[6:05]of children's books I would like to put out in the world because they're just there's so many
[6:09]specific scenarios we know as a parent like every moment feels a little different hitting feels
[6:14]maybe a little different than kicking and it feels different than verbal aggression and it obviously
[6:18]feels different than when you're kind of having your kid clinging to you at a birthday party
[6:23]on the only one who's kid won't join soccer right and I feel like bringing to life those moments
[6:29]is so powerful because I think what we've heard from kids a lot about this book and what I would
[6:34]like to be true about all the children's books I end up writing if kids actually are really
[6:40]resonating with how messy the moment is how it's not even tied up with a bow at the end because
[6:45]sometimes I have this pet peeve with children's books where I'm like that's true in my house too
[6:49]and then it's kind of like a men Charlie never hit again and I was like well that's not true in my
[6:55]house and that's I don't think that's how progress ever actually looks and I think I just think
[7:02]I've never been afraid to like name what feels true I don't think naming what's true is that
[7:08]thing that causes problems I actually think it's avoiding what's true that tends to cause problems
[7:13]and I'm just loving the words I'm hearing directly from parents like whether there's one page
[7:18]where we kind of illustrate the shame spiral that I think the kid feels after baby you're down
[7:22]down down bad bad and I had someone say when a kid just wants me to read the down down down page
[7:28]over and over because I think kids are like I'm just trying to figure out these powerful sensations
[7:34]in my body and these things that happen and then I actually don't need you to fix it it's the confusion
[7:39]about it and the feeling alone in it that's the worst and the more I just understand myself
[7:44]anything or us adults the more we understand ourselves the more we're able to change and I think our
[7:49]children's books will be different from others and that we're always going to just try to name what's
[7:53]true we don't feel like we have to tie it all up with the bow and we believe these are just
[7:58]powerful ways to understand kids or kids to feel understood and for parents to have a better sense
[8:03]of how they can show up in a sturdy way well it's really like what you're doing is treating
[8:09]kids with the respect that they deserve the way you would put yourself in someone else's shoes you
[8:15]do that for kids which so many people don't and I know you talk about this and get inside with like
[8:18]how the the theories before we're all about behaviors but we're not we're actually like raising
[8:24]human beings here and it's a little bit different and the behaviors are not always the whole story
[8:30]they're like a little bit of the story and that's so true for grownups like this is a good
[8:35]model for grownups as well as for kids a hundred percent and we have this kind of very binary way
[8:43]of thinking about it or if I say to a group of parents okay your kid hit I guess that's a problem but
[8:49]what I would say is it's actually not the problem like it's a symptom of the problem it's kind
[8:55]of like if you watch you can play tennis and they keep hitting the ball into the net okay that's
[8:59]a problem obviously you should go over the net but saying to a kid hit the ball over the net like
[9:04]I don't think anyone would think that's a great coaching job like is it the grip is it the strength
[9:10]is it their body position is it actually that they're just saying to themselves in their head
[9:15]over and over I'm an awful tense player I'm an awful tennis player just because the ball was
[9:19]hit into the net it doesn't mean you actually understand the problem you just know that there's
[9:24]something that you need to understand and you can activate curiosity okay I want my kid to hit
[9:29]the ball over the net and then you can say what might be going on what's really underneath here
[9:35]I just don't think anyone would say to me you're a really permissive tennis coach it's like an
[9:40]absurd thing to say you're just reinforcing hitting the ball into the net by being curious about
[9:44]what's causing that like it's actually nonsense if I say it out loud they'd be like that's
[9:49]what any good coach would do you'd be like well what's actually the source of this and then
[9:53]talking to a kid about how the issue is really their grip doesn't mean you're reinforcing hitting the
[9:59]the ball into the net
[10:00]That like it doesn't even make sense.
[10:01]But if you think about hitting,
[10:02]we'd say this all the time.
[10:03]If I say to my kid,
[10:04]oh, it's so hard to see your sister
[10:06]have your favorite truck,
[10:08]I understand that.
[10:10]People, we've been taught,
[10:11]oh, you're basically saying it's okay to hit.
[10:14]Like I'm definitely not doing that,
[10:15]but we collapse that with our kids behavior
[10:19]and probably our adult behavior,
[10:20]where there's almost something we've learned
[10:23]we're being curious about bad behavior
[10:26]or being compassionate about the underlying reasons,
[10:30]equals permitting or reinforcing bad behaviors.
[10:35]Like this weird math equation that's been passed
[10:37]through the generations,
[10:38]even though we never think about that with sports, right?
[10:42]No one ever thinks giving kids swim lessons
[10:44]when they can't swim is telling a kid
[10:47]that it's okay not to swim.
[10:48]And we would never say that.
[10:50]And I just think more generally,
[10:51]yes, we're trying to help people see, hold on.
[10:54]I can be curious about my own bad behavior.
[10:56]I can be curious about the underlying reasons
[10:59]of my kid bad behavior.
[11:01]That doesn't mean I'm permitting behavior.
[11:03]That sets the foundation you need to improve behavior.
[11:07]And that just totally changes our approach to parenting
[11:10]and to understanding ourselves.
[11:12]Thank you for improving my tennis at the same time.
[11:14]I was, you know, gotta be efficient
[11:18]with our time years ago when I'm busy ladies.
[11:20]No, but it's so true.
[11:21]It's like when someone tells me,
[11:24]like don't worry about something.
[11:25]Well, don't worry.
[11:26]It's like, well, I'm not gonna just turn it off.
[11:31]It's the same thing.
[11:32]Like, don't be sad.
[11:32]Like, well, don't be upset that she has to do with it.
[11:35]Like, do like that kind of thing
[11:37]just that it just doesn't work.
[11:39]It doesn't work for kids who have limited
[11:41]conversational ability.
[11:42]Like, we forget how young they are.
[11:43]Like, if they could say, you know,
[11:45]it's really like bumming me out today.
[11:46]And it would really be so much better
[11:48]if you could just, maybe we could work out some
[11:49]sort of agreement with this toy and did it up.
[11:51]Like, that's not gonna happen.
[11:52]So what can they do?
[11:53]Exactly.
[11:54]I actually was talking to a group
[11:55]recently about the book.
[11:56]And I was like, let's be honest.
[11:58]Like, did anyone see the recent season of white lotus?
[12:01]Like, you think those three women
[12:04]really understand how to deal with jealousy?
[12:05]Well, like, okay, maybe they're not hitting each other.
[12:09]But when one of them leaves and they're just
[12:11]walking smack, like, I don't know.
[12:12]It's kind of the adult version of getting out
[12:15]because you don't know how to manage anger
[12:17]or jealousy or insecurity.
[12:19]And to me, the most amazing thing
[12:22]about kids that behavior, okay,
[12:24]is if you have a really long-term view,
[12:26]and I always like to say a good inside,
[12:28]we're very long-term greedy in our parenting
[12:30]because we actually give you so many strategies
[12:32]that help right away.
[12:34]And I feel like we're all kind of parenting
[12:36]for the years our kids are out of our house.
[12:38]We want them to still be in a relationship with us.
[12:40]We know the stakes are higher.
[12:41]If they don't know how to manage hard situations.
[12:43]So if you think about that, when your kid hits
[12:46]or when your kid says I hate you, right?
[12:48]What they're really saying is I am struggling
[12:52]to manage anger, disappointment, jealousy,
[12:54]some hard emotion.
[12:56]When our kid is 20 and 40, they're still gonna feel anger.
[12:59]They're still gonna feel jealousy.
[13:00]They're still gonna have disappointment.
[13:02]No one gets those feelings out of the body.
[13:04]And in some ways, our kids' bad behavior,
[13:07]when they're young, gives us this amazing opportunities
[13:10]that, oh my goodness, if I can look at this behavior,
[13:13]not as a sign of who my kid is,
[13:15]but as a sign of the skills my kid needs to develop.
[13:20]And in a weird way, I'm almost grateful
[13:23]that they're hitting at four,
[13:25]because I'd actually rather start to deal with the footage
[13:29]for and when you start to build skills at age 24,
[13:32]it is totally possible.
[13:34]But I don't think any of us think that says fortunate
[13:38]as if a kid could start to build the skills at age four
[13:40]and have some of them at age 24.
[13:42]Well, it's like picking up tennis at 24 versus four.
[13:45]All the kids say it early,
[13:46]they're usually better, you're more comfortable with it.
[13:49]That's right, and if you've learned fundamentals in tennis
[13:53]when you're young,
[13:54]or if you've learned fundamentals in swimming,
[13:56]you're gonna be a stronger swimmer in the ocean later on.
[14:00]If you were just optimizing for swimming in a training pool,
[14:03]like the quickest, easiest thing,
[14:04]maybe it looks like you're a good swimmer as a four-year-old,
[14:08]but I don't think we feel confident about that person
[14:11]swimming in the waves later on.
[14:13]And so I really do believe that good inside,
[14:15]we're doing something,
[14:16]and this is even bigger than the book,
[14:18]like, and this is the kick I'm on, if I'm honest,
[14:21]like there is no other job in the world that is as hard,
[14:25]that we are told from society should just come naturally.
[14:29]And I think there's this comfort we have
[14:32]with this idea of maternal instinct,
[14:34]but I think it's just like the nastiest,
[14:36]most almost women-hating narrative that there is,
[14:39]because it's parenting to just come purely by instinct.
[14:45]Then the corollary to that is,
[14:47]in every moment that I don't know what to do,
[14:49]or I feel stuck, the only answer is that I'm broken,
[14:52]because I should find this easier.
[14:55]I should be able to figure this out on my own.
[14:59]I just don't know any surgeon who's like,
[15:01]I have a surgical instinct,
[15:02]I don't need to go to med school,
[15:03]don't need to go to residency,
[15:04]I just looked into some reels,
[15:06]an Instagram podcast here and there,
[15:08]and I'm ready to operate.
[15:09]I mean, and the irony is that if you and I,
[15:11]we would never go to that doctor.
[15:15]We'd be like, no, thank you.
[15:18]We want to go to the doctor who's gone to med school
[15:21]and residency maybe even had a mentor for years
[15:24]and takes pride in that education.
[15:26]So I think my larger message to parents separate from hitting
[15:30]is the only thing that comes naturally in parenting
[15:33]is how you were parented.
[15:35]And so if you want to do anything even a little bit different,
[15:37]which a lot of us do, then we should think about investing
[15:41]in a true substantive kind of parenting education.
[15:44]The same way we probably take an education seriously
[15:47]at every other part of our life when we were doing a job
[15:50]that probably mattered less to us than parenting.
[15:53]There is no shame in raising your hand
[15:55]and saying, I need help and I actually look forward to the day
[15:59]where like I'm a CEO and a founder now of a company,
[16:02]my fellow CEO is in founders,
[16:03]they brag about the executive coaches they have.
[16:06]They have such pride, you know?
[16:09]And I just look forward to the day when parents are like bragging
[16:12]about the kind of guidance and support and education they get.
[16:16]And that's the world like more than any book
[16:19]or something, that's really the world like I want to help create.
[16:22]Which is amazing.
[16:23]Your theory that people are fundamentally good inside.
[16:26]That is something I also believe.
[16:27]I just think I have believed my whole life
[16:29]that we are all good.
[16:30]We all have a story to tell.
[16:31]If we all just like shared who we are,
[16:33]we would connect on a deeper level.
[16:35]But I feel like there have been a lot of things happening
[16:38]in the world where I am that belief of mine is questioned
[16:42]which sort of throws off my own belief system.
[16:45]Are is everybody good?
[16:48]Do you still, can you still believe that?
[16:50]I think this again is something where we can kind of
[16:54]collapse multiple things.
[16:56]And just because you believe people are good inside,
[16:58]which I do doesn't have anything to do
[17:00]with whether we want to associate with them,
[17:02]whether we believe in what they're doing with their actions,
[17:05]whether it's excusable, right?
[17:07]Someone being good inside.
[17:08]Again, I've never looked at my kids saying
[17:10]I hate you to me and being like, well, they're good inside.
[17:12]So I just don't care.
[17:13]No, it just changes how we intervene.
[17:15]So I really do believe like when babies enter the world,
[17:19]all of them, I do.
[17:20]I believe they're born good inside.
[17:22]I just don't think there's a baby.
[17:24]It's like I cannot wait to be older and screw over the world
[17:28]and like mess everyone.
[17:29]I don't believe that.
[17:30]Just and at the same time, I'm a pragmatist.
[17:34]We come into the world good inside.
[17:36]I believe still on adults, they're good inside.
[17:38]And yet we develop circuits.
[17:41]We develop ways of relating to the world and other people
[17:44]and ourselves and we operate with fear
[17:47]and all of those really shape.
[17:49]How over time we show up to the world
[17:52]and then the impact we have on the world.
[17:56]Being good inside has nothing to do
[17:58]with having good impact on the world.
[18:00]And those are two very different things.
[18:02]So I guess what I believe in this moment,
[18:05]people are born good inside.
[18:07]And there's a lot of very kind of broken, fearful,
[18:13]extraordinarily psychologically
[18:15]and emotionally immature people.
[18:17]They are essentially babies and toddlers
[18:19]running around in adult bodies.
[18:22]And if I think about the big picture,
[18:25]I really believe the way one of the ways you can change the world
[18:30]is through how you raise the next generation of kids
[18:33]who will become the adults who take over the world.
[18:37]And what really powers me to get out of bed every morning
[18:40]is to think like there's a lot of people out there
[18:43]and there's a lot of even startups, right?
[18:45]Like people are like, why is this a startup?
[18:47]Why don't you just write books?
[18:48]Why do you have an app?
[18:49]Why do you have a whole engineering team?
[18:51]I believe the best way to have the impact
[18:53]we want to have in the world is to have something
[18:57]that not only is an idea,
[18:58]but combines that with modern technology
[19:01]to reach the most amount of people
[19:02]that we have apps that make our lives more convenient.
[19:05]Why is it a question?
[19:06]Why do we have to get an SEO optimized article
[19:08]that isn't meant for our kid?
[19:09]And we have AI in our app.
[19:11]There's an amazing chat about why
[19:13]because I believe that's what we need
[19:16]to actually make the impact.
[19:17]And I, maybe I am this like eternal optimist,
[19:21]but I'm also a pragmatic person.
[19:24]I really do believe this movement
[19:27]and have this impact of truly saying
[19:29]we are putting a better generation of kids into the world
[19:33]and we are also simultaneously healing,
[19:36]you know, the adults who raise them along the way.
[19:38]That's beautiful.
[19:40]So in addition to writing your books
[19:42]and starting this movement,
[19:44]you have made a movement into like,
[19:48]you've scaled this in such an impressive way
[19:51]and you've turned an idea and a mission
[19:55]into something that millions of people consume
[19:58]and are inspired by.
[20:00]and make their lives better.
[20:02]How did you do that?
[20:03]Oh, first of all, thank you.
[20:05]And my honest reaction is there's something
[20:08]about the question that I'm like,
[20:09]I feel like I've deformulated differently
[20:12]because this might sound cheesy, it's true.
[20:14]Like I don't really feel like I did that.
[20:17]Like I really don't.
[20:18]That's like my honest truth.
[20:19]And anyone who knows me would be like,
[20:20]Becky has no problem taking credit for things she does.
[20:23]So it was a different question.
[20:24]I'd be like, I did that.
[20:25]I really don't think I did that.
[20:26]And I think I really would describe good inside
[20:29]not as a company, not as just an app,
[20:31]not as a book, as a movement.
[20:33]And to me, when I think about a movement,
[20:35]I think about something generative.
[20:37]Like my image for a movement,
[20:39]at least for good inside is I know for me, maybe this started.
[20:41]Like I was so lit up inside by these ideas.
[20:46]And it took an unlearning for me.
[20:48]I was raised, I was trained to teach parents
[20:52]how to give time out some punishments and sticker charts.
[20:53]That's how I was trained.
[20:54]And I'm heard if I think that.
[20:55]Because I was like, this makes sense.
[20:56]I love it.
[20:57]I was like, wait a second.
[20:58]This doesn't make sense.
[20:59]Maybe we've just been told this for hundreds of years.
[21:02]And this is just a system of behavioral control.
[21:05]And hold on a second.
[21:06]If I held at my husband, and he was like,
[21:08]Becky, that's unacceptable.
[21:09]I'm taking away your phone for a week.
[21:11]I just, why would that, that would,
[21:13]I promise you not help me or my relationship
[21:15]with my husband.
[21:16]And kids don't really need things that are different.
[21:18]And I just like unraveled.
[21:20]And then what I really got back to was a couple things.
[21:22]I believe kids are born in good inside.
[21:24]And I believe we are all born with all the feelings
[21:26]and none of the skills.
[21:28]And any time feelings over power skills in life,
[21:32]they come out as bad behavior.
[21:33]That's why we do yell at our partners sometimes.
[21:36]We have a built up feeling of frustration
[21:38]or feeling misunderstood.
[21:39]The skills we have to manage those feelings
[21:41]are lower than the intensity of the feeling.
[21:43]So it explodes out of us.
[21:44]And I just had this like a hot moment.
[21:47]Oh my goodness.
[21:48]We've been like blaming the feelings and the behaviors.
[21:52]The real issue is the lack of skills.
[21:55]That's the issue with swimming too.
[21:57]No one's born knowing how to swim.
[21:59]Nobody thinks we teach kids how to swim
[22:01]by sending them to their room.
[22:03]Like it would be insane.
[22:04]Come back when you know how to swim.
[22:06]Why would that help?
[22:07]Now I just feel more shame,
[22:08]which means I'm gonna have trouble getting in the pool.
[22:10]Every time we send kids to their room,
[22:12]we just raise the amount of bad feelings.
[22:14]So we increase the gap between feeling those skills.
[22:17]I was just like, we need to help parents
[22:19]just see things differently
[22:21]and see ourselves differently
[22:22]because that's so hard we weren't raised this way.
[22:24]And this is really just a model of like,
[22:27]let's see kids as good inside
[22:28]and needing to build skills.
[22:30]And if we approach parenting and that way,
[22:31]so many things would change.
[22:33]These ideas and you can hear me.
[22:35]I get so excited about them.
[22:36]I can't keep them inside.
[22:37]People are like, why did you start Instagram?
[22:39]I had a full private practice.
[22:41]I started Instagram as a relief.
[22:43]I was like, I need a container to vomit out
[22:47]all of these thoughts.
[22:47]I just need to put it somewhere.
[22:49]And my husband was like sick of me talking to the year out,
[22:52]you know?
[22:52]And then what happened?
[22:54]I really believe this.
[22:56]I do not believe I have unique ideas
[22:58]that I insert into people.
[23:00]I don't.
[23:01]I don't think it's like,
[23:02]I have an idea and it's like,
[23:03]that's a genius idea from Dr. Becky.
[23:05]I believe these are things we kind of all have inside of us.
[23:09]And we've all built up things from our childhood
[23:12]that were adaptive at first.
[23:14]And now work against us.
[23:15]That kind of prevent us kind of kind of accessing
[23:19]that confidence and that clarity, right?
[23:21]And that compassion, all of those good things.
[23:23]And when that happens, we all need someone
[23:26]to be like a little bit of a lighthouse or a guide to come back.
[23:29]And so to me, when I think about the movement,
[23:31]I feel like I feel so lit up about this
[23:33]and explodes out of me.
[23:35]And in doing that, something gets lit up in someone else
[23:40]that I really believe was always there.
[23:44]And then explodes out of them.
[23:46]And if you think about this like in a beautiful way,
[23:49]like almost a light or that fire that it spreads,
[23:54]not because of me.
[23:55]I really believe that because something gets so lit up
[24:00]in someone else that becomes in a beautiful,
[24:02]amazing way, uncontainable.
[24:03]And then it spreads from there.
[24:05]And there's no way I could have spread this.
[24:07]Like I'm not some superhuman person.
[24:09]I go to sleep, I have my life.
[24:10]Like I just feel like this thing has taken on a life
[24:14]of its own and everything we do as a company
[24:18]is truly just responsive to what the people
[24:22]who are core to this movement, hell, as they want.
[24:24]Even our app, they're like,
[24:26]why can I deposit a check for my house?
[24:30]But there's no sophisticated app for the most,
[24:34]I promise you parenting is a more important job
[24:36]than whether or not I deposit the check for my house
[24:39]or I have to go to the bank.
[24:39]Like if I still had to go to the bank,
[24:42]but I had something in my pocket that felt like
[24:43]a really sophisticated support, I would choose that.
[24:46]And I was like, that's really true.
[24:47]That's messed up.
[24:49]There's all these brilliant people in the tech industry.
[24:51]How many of them have said,
[24:52]parents deserve better.
[24:53]Parents should not be left out with this AI revolution.
[24:56]I'm not trying to be mean zero, us.
[24:59]Like, and that's why we did it.
[25:00]I was like, no one else is doing that.
[25:02]Why your children's book?
[25:03]So many people have said, good inside is like a new language.
[25:06]And it's still kind of new.
[25:08]I would love a book that I can almost do more,
[25:10]good inside with my kid.
[25:11]Like I want to do it.
[25:12]Okay, we could do that.
[25:13]You know?
[25:14]And our podcast people are like,
[25:15]I like the old format.
[25:16]Okay, we'll go back to like,
[25:18]I just feel like I trust the people in this movement.
[25:22]And I think nothing makes me happier,
[25:24]especially them like women increasingly using their voice
[25:29]and feeling like my ideas matter.
[25:31]And I can voice them and they can be heard by other people.
[25:33]And I feel like that really is the good inside movement.
[25:37]And I feel just honored to be a part of it.
[25:40]Like that's actually how I feel.
[25:42]I really don't feel like it's like it's mine.
[25:45]It's amazing, which is why you are so good inside, honestly.
[25:49]Okay, so what else do the people want?
[25:50]What else is in the pipeline?
[25:52]Where are you going from here?
[25:54]Well, I think there's been an amazing response
[25:56]about this book that people have been like,
[25:57]it just feels different than other books.
[25:58]And I was a little vulnerable, putting out,
[26:00]I have to be honest.
[26:01]And there are, and I'm going to be totally on to some reviews
[26:04]that are like this kind of ends abruptly.
[26:06]Like, you know, and we really talk about the ending a lot.
[26:09]And I have to think about it.
[26:10]Maybe I should have put one more note in.
[26:12]But sometimes in my house, like if my kid hits
[26:14]my inner being, I do just move on in that moment.
[26:17]I do just build a tower.
[26:18]And then I'm like, okay, I don't do all my parenting
[26:20]in the next 30 seconds.
[26:21]Like I kind of can figure it out.
[26:23]And my best moments with my kids after a hard moment
[26:26]are just like the conversations that happened after, right?
[26:29]And so we're going to do more children's books for sure.
[26:32]Our app is where I just pour, you know,
[26:35]the app and even our membership came up
[26:37]because people were like, I want a one-on-one session with you.
[26:40]And so number one, to make that work,
[26:42]that way, like it's just financially not feasible
[26:44]for most people.
[26:45]And I just literally don't have the time.
[26:49]And what I noticed is, especially with parenting,
[26:52]there were like these 25 sessions,
[26:53]essentially I was always having on repeat about anxiety
[26:56]about, how do I talk to my kids about sex,
[26:58]about cleanliness, about defiance,
[27:00]about why is everything a battle about hitting?
[27:02]And I was like, what if I could like record
[27:05]essentially a session and just do it with more people?
[27:07]And what if I could do better than that?
[27:08]Because I could also have something where it felt
[27:10]and you were just texting me and getting an answer.
[27:12]Like I've worked on our chatbot for a year myself.
[27:15]Like I have very high standards.
[27:16]I want it to feel like you're texting me.
[27:19]And it does.
[27:20]And I want there to be short videos.
[27:22]And I want you to be able to connect live
[27:23]with good inside coaches.
[27:25]And I was like, so what I would want for every one
[27:28]of my friends and for myself is what we want
[27:30]that like app membership experience to be.
[27:33]And just continuing to improve that.
[27:35]And then I think the other thing that like,
[27:37]it's not on the roadmap right now,
[27:39]what we really want to do is I just need to find a way
[27:41]to get all of the people in this movement together.
[27:42]Like I feel like parents deserve like a really cool summit.
[27:46]Like again, jobs have some.
[27:48]It's you learn together.
[27:49]You connect and it feels elevated.
[27:51]And this is the hardest job in the world.
[27:53]And I believe education is power.
[27:55]I believe on some level, we give parents
[27:57]their power back and the best meaning of power.
[28:00]We give them power and play.
[28:01]And I kind of want something.
[28:03]Maybe that like really brings that together
[28:04]with the meeting speakers and cool things
[28:06]and definitely not just me.
[28:07]And so that's the thing I'm just like, honestly,
[28:09]the purpose I told about that.
[28:11]I was like, I can't stop thinking about it.
[28:13]And I know our community wants to be together.
[28:15]And I just, I don't know if there's a way to bring that to life,
[28:17]but maybe if I put it out to the world,
[28:19]and I'll get more people to our good job.
[28:22]Yeah, yeah, I got to put it out to the world.
[28:23]We do events like that all the time.
[28:25]I love bringing people together.
[28:26]It's so important.
[28:27]And I think this has to be a TV show, by the way.
[28:29]I'm sure I am hoping it's in the works,
[28:31]but this has to be like an animated TV show.
[28:33]That too.
[28:34]That too.
[28:35]Because I do think we need good media for kids.
[28:38]And it's interesting.
[28:39]So many children's things out there
[28:40]are like animal characters, which no shade to that.
[28:43]I probably blew a Daniel Tiger, like only the most brilliant.
[28:47]And I think for us, we're like, we're just,
[28:49]I think again, we just are, we lead with what's real.
[28:52]And like, I think I love that our characters
[28:54]are our kids, they're people, you know,
[28:57]and there could be something amazing
[28:58]about bringing that to life in a show.
[28:59]So thank you.
[29:00]Dr. Becky, congratulations on that's my track,
[29:03]on all the things you do to make the world better.
[29:06]It is amazing.
[29:07]It is like the ultimate mitzvah.
[29:09]Honestly, it's like the most amazing thing you could do.
[29:11]So congratulations.
[29:13]And if only everybody could do what you're doing
[29:16]to make change in the world like this.
[29:17]Really, congrats.
[29:19]Thank you so much, Sydney.
[29:20]Okay, thank you.
[29:21]Thank you for listening to Totally Booked with Zibi.
[29:24]Formerly, momstone have time to read books.
[29:27]If you loved the show, tell a friend, leave a review,
[29:30]follow me on Instagram at Zibi Owens.
[29:33]And spread the word.
[29:34]Thanks so much.
[29:35]Oh, and buy the books.