Gabrielle Bernstein, SELF-HELP: This Is Your Chance to Change Your Life
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[0:45]Gabriel Bernstein is the author of Self-Help, This Is Your Chance to Change Your Life,
[0:50]renowned spiritual teacher and number one, New York Times best-selling author, Gabby Bernstein,
[0:55]has been hailed as a next-generation thought leader by Oprah Winfrey.
[0:59]Bernstein is the author of nine best-selling books, including The Universe Has Your Back,
[1:04]Super Attractor, and her latest New York Times bestseller, Happy Days, The Guided Path from
[1:09]Trauma to Profound, Freedom, and Inner Peace.
[1:12]Her empowering perspective and compassionate insights inspired The New York Times to call
[1:17]her, quote, a role model for a new generation of spiritual seekers.
[1:21]Bernstein is the creator and host of the podcast, Dear Gabby, where she connects with
[1:25]her community and offers insightful real-time coaching, straight talk, and big love.
[1:30]Through her presentations and generous Q&A sessions, Bernstein makes a major impact on
[1:34]individuals and organizations alike, and she has been sought after by groups such as
[1:38]Google, the AOL build series, TED Talks, Oprah's Super Soul Sessions, and many more.
[1:44]Bernstein frequently appears on today and Good Morning America, among others, to share
[1:48]her expertise in meditation, manifestation, and cultivating inner peace.
[1:53]She co-hosted the Guinness World Records' largest guided meditation with Deepak Chopra,
[1:58]and was named to Oprah's Super Soul 100, a dynamic group of trailblazers whose vision
[2:03]and life's work are bringing a higher level of consciousness to the world.
[2:08]Bernstein is a highly sought-after keynote speaker offering a profound message of peace that
[2:12]resonates with audiences of all kinds.
[2:15]Welcome, Gabby.
[2:16]Thank you so much for coming on Mom's Don't Have Time to Read Books to discuss self-help.
[2:20]This is your chance to change your life.
[2:23]I love it.
[2:24]Congratulations.
[2:25]Thank you.
[2:26]Thank you.
[2:27]Mom's can make time for this book, I think.
[2:29]Not too long.
[2:31]User-friendly.
[2:32]I love it.
[2:33]Doggared, like, a thousand pages, but anyway, it was great.
[2:37]Okay.
[2:38]Tell users a little bit about you to start.
[2:41]I read your bio already, but just a little more about you so they understand why this book
[2:45]is coming now from you.
[2:47]Yeah, thank you.
[2:48]Well, this is my 10th book.
[2:49]And I've been writing books for the past 14 years.
[2:53]I've been in the field of personal growth and spiritual development for 19 years.
[2:58]And my career really began based on my own journey and desire to begin a experience of healing
[3:05]my own inner world.
[3:07]And much of that healing started off on the spiritual path with my meditation practices and
[3:12]my spiritual faith.
[3:14]And as I've grown, it has gone beyond my spiritual faith and deeper into therapeutic healing
[3:19]and trauma recovery.
[3:21]And my latest books, this book and the one previously were really focused on the therapies
[3:26]that I've used to heal from traumatic events and from belief systems that no longer served
[3:31]me and to really reclaim a new way of being.
[3:35]And that's been my mission, truly, is really just to be on this path of helping people crack
[3:40]open to their own spiritual connection and help demystify and democratize spiritual and therapeutic
[3:47]practices for people to begin to apply them easily as self help in their back pocket and
[3:53]have the tools so that they can access relief quickly and not feel so burdened by stories
[4:00]and belief systems that hold us back.
[4:02]And that leads us to this book.
[4:03]I mean, this book is, like I said, it's my 10th book.
[4:05]So by this point, I've been writing these books for myself first.
[4:09]And so this was probably the first one that was the least for myself because I'd already
[4:13]had the experience and the gift of it.
[4:15]It's based on a therapy called internal family systems therapy, which we'll get into.
[4:20]And it was a therapy that changed my life.
[4:21]And so I knew it was my mission to really simplify and demystify the principles of this
[4:28]therapy and make it self help.
[4:31]And so that's what I've done here.
[4:32]The therapist was clearly so delighted in his forward, but that you do me.
[4:36]Yeah.
[4:37]This is this man is Dr. Richard Schwartz and he is the founder of this world renowned therapy.
[4:41]And he's a very dear friend of mine and really mentored me through my own journey of mastering
[4:46]this therapeutic model for myself and gave me the blessing to go out and bring his 43 year
[4:52]body of work into the world in this way, which is humongous for me.
[4:56]And that for me.
[4:57]But for the reader, right?
[4:58]It's just like to not have to, you may not find your way to a therapist's office, let
[5:03]alone an IFS therapist's office.
[5:05]But now you can experience the gift of this model and in a way that is self help.
[5:11]And before we dive into the nitty gritty of that, which I also found super interesting,
[5:15]the firefighters and managers and all that, what happened to you that led you down this
[5:21]path?
[5:22]What traumas were you overcoming and like what is what led you here?
[5:26]Well, when I first started my career actually was a few months sober, I started speaking
[5:31]publicly on my spiritual faith.
[5:33]And I got sober at the age of 25, the the addictions that led me to my sobriety were sort
[5:39]of strange to me.
[5:40]I was like, well, why am I, my, my, my addict?
[5:42]What's why am I actually out in these ways?
[5:44]What's going on?
[5:45]And I carried on with a lot of other addictive behaviors like work, alcoholism and control
[5:49]and and relationship addiction for many years, even past getting clean and sober.
[5:55]And when I was 36 years old, I started to have these mental breakdowns is really the best
[6:00]way I could describe it.
[6:01]I was just cracking and cracking and breaking down and my mantra was I can't go on like this.
[6:06]I can't go on like this.
[6:08]And I was about seven books in and written about seven self-help books.
[6:12]I've been on Oprah as a next generation thought leader like I had been doing good work
[6:17]in the world.
[6:18]But inside, I was really suffering.
[6:21]And I had a dream when I was 36 at that time.
[6:25]And in that dream, I remembered sexual abuse from my childhood.
[6:29]And often when we have such extreme traumas like that as children, we can't actually
[6:33]dissociate from them and literally leave our body and dissociate from the memory.
[6:38]And that was the case for me.
[6:40]And remembering that trauma was equal parts horrific and terrifying as it was relieving.
[6:47]Because what it showed me in that moment was this is why you've been running.
[6:52]This is why you were addicted to drugs and alcohol.
[6:55]This is why you've been so hyper vigilant.
[6:57]This is why you're so afraid all the time.
[6:59]This is why you don't trust anyone.
[7:01]This is why you believe that you have to do everything yourself.
[7:04]And that was nine years ago, that began a new direction of my spiritual and personal development
[7:12]path, which really led me down the journey of the therapeutic practices and methods that
[7:18]were going to help me heal the trauma.
[7:21]And the one that really helped the most was internal family systems therapy, which is what
[7:25]I've written about in this book.
[7:27]I'm very sorry that that happened to you.
[7:29]But thank you.
[7:30]You know, I'm not.
[7:31]I'm not.
[7:32]Okay.
[7:33]I appreciate you saying that though.
[7:34]So I'm not either then.
[7:35]I'm not sorry at all.
[7:36]No, I think it's fine to say those things.
[7:37]I mean, no one wishes that no one would want any child to experience things like this.
[7:40]But I wouldn't change a thing.
[7:42]And I mean that because the sometimes the most difficult moments in our life offer us the
[7:49]greatest opportunities for transformational growth.
[7:52]And there's this gorgeous roomy quote, the wound is the place where the light enters
[7:56]you.
[7:57]So sometimes when we have these crack open moments, the breakthrough is what the gift is.
[8:04]That's the miracle.
[8:05]I wouldn't have the life I have today if I didn't have the history that I had.
[8:11]So that's why I can really say today, maybe nine years ago, I wouldn't have been able
[8:15]to visit today.
[8:16]I can say to you, I'm grateful for everything that's happened to my life.
[8:20]Because it's gotten me here.
[8:21]That's amazing.
[8:22]That's really great.
[8:23]So internal family systems therapy, go.
[8:27]What do we need to know?
[8:28]How can it help the regular person listen?
[8:31]You know how Hillary Clinton would call Bill Clinton like the chief explainer?
[8:34]I think that's sort of my role in personal development.
[8:36]It's like I'm just the simplifier.
[8:38]So I'm going to take a really big therapeutic model and make it simple for you.
[8:43]So if you've ever said to yourself, you know, a part of me feels really triggered when
[8:49]my husband says this thing or part of me is really controlling at work or part of me is
[8:54]a people pleaser.
[8:55]Sometimes I act out in these ways when I feel inadequate, you know, just we have these
[8:59]ways of extreme behaviors and patterns or a habit that we don't like that we just can't
[9:05]kick, right?
[9:06]Like we keep going to the refrigerator every night and we just over binge or whatever it
[9:08]might be.
[9:10]Those patterns and behaviors that seem to just sort of be who we are, just habitual patterns
[9:15]that we carry around with us are actually not who we are.
[9:19]They're just parts of who we are.
[9:21]And they're actually protection mechanisms.
[9:24]Maybe you've thought of them at times as coping mechanisms.
[9:27]And these protection mechanisms oftentimes can really run our lives, right?
[9:30]So I have one that puts a controller.
[9:33]She I'm working with her this part of me every single day and she's she's she's really
[9:37]controlling a lot of things.
[9:39]And when we start to really look at these extreme patterns and behaviors through a different
[9:43]lens and that's the lens I'll teach you through the book, we start to recognize, okay,
[9:47]first they're protecting they're protecting me.
[9:49]They're doing they're working these these these behaviors and extreme feelings are protecting
[9:53]me from something.
[9:55]And then we have to get curious, what are they protecting me from?
[9:58]And in IFS, one.
[10:00]We have these extreme behaviors and patterns
[10:01]they're known as protector parts.
[10:04]And what's beautiful is that these protector parts
[10:06]have been around for as long as we can remember.
[10:08]And they've been there ever since
[10:10]of probably very young age and at a young age,
[10:13]all of us, no matter how big the trauma or small the trauma,
[10:17]we experienced uncomfortable experiences,
[10:20]whether we were told we were stupid by a teacher
[10:22]or we didn't have a caregiver that was present with us
[10:25]or we were having abuse in my case
[10:28]or we had somebody bully us on the playground,
[10:31]really doesn't matter.
[10:32]These moments in time are significant.
[10:35]And as little children, we do not have the brain capacity
[10:38]or the emotional resilience to process those big experiences.
[10:42]And from a very young age, we build up belief systems
[10:46]and protection mechanisms to protect against ever having
[10:49]to feel those big feelings again.
[10:51]So the little children parts are called exiled parts
[10:54]because we shut them down and we exile them.
[10:56]We don't want to feel them.
[10:58]And the protectors are the experiences
[11:00]that we do, the actions that we take,
[11:02]the extreme behaviors that we rely on to push down
[11:06]those protection, those exiled feelings.
[11:10]And so anyone listening right now to keep it really simple,
[11:13]if there is a habit in your life and you're like,
[11:15]oh, I just can't kick that habit.
[11:16]I don't know what's why I keep doing that.
[11:18]Or if you've ever said, I'm so angry all the time
[11:23]or I struggle with anxiety or I have back pain.
[11:28]I mean, even pain, physical pain can be a form
[11:29]of protection as well at times
[11:31]because it's masking something deeper.
[11:33]It's masking a psychosomatic effect of something.
[11:37]So any of our really undesirable feelings, emotions,
[11:41]and behaviors really can be seen
[11:43]through the lens of protection.
[11:45]And as we start to witness those,
[11:46]as protector parts of us, we can take the steps
[11:49]that are in my book to begin to relate to them differently
[11:54]and offer them some connection
[11:56]and offer those parts of ourselves some compassion
[11:58]and some curiosity so that we can stop judging ourselves
[12:02]and instead start tending to the protection mechanisms.
[12:07]And the goal is to help those knee-jerk reactions
[12:11]feel more and more calm.
[12:13]And as they settle, we can start to experience less reactivity,
[12:20]less charged energy, less extreme patterns
[12:23]and behaviors and more serenity in our life.
[12:26]That's a baseline breakdown.
[12:28]Good job.
[12:29]A book in three minutes, I'm getting.
[12:32]There's a part in the book where somebody says,
[12:34]oh, Gabby, you look so peaceful.
[12:36]And you're like, that's because I fully love myself
[12:38]and I'm great with who I am.
[12:40]Tell me about that.
[12:41]And can, do you think everyone has the potential
[12:44]to reach that state or do you have to be predisposed
[12:47]to sort of the openness to get there
[12:50]or did you ever think that you would get there?
[12:53]When that woman asked me and she said,
[12:55]oh, you seem so happy.
[12:57]What's going on?
[12:58]And I said, well, I love every part of who I am.
[13:00]Okay, sorry.
[13:01]I love every part of who I am.
[13:02]And you know, but I like that you picked up on that piece
[13:07]because it is profound.
[13:09]I love every part of who I am.
[13:11]And what that means is that I've learned to respect
[13:14]and honor and love even the most extreme aspects of myself
[13:19]so that I can help them, help these aspects of myself
[13:23]feel less burdened.
[13:24]And that's the goal.
[13:26]And to answer your question,
[13:27]tell, yes, I believe everyone can get here.
[13:30]I 100, if I lost that faith, I'd have to quit my job
[13:35]because my mission is to share the tools that have healed me
[13:40]in the service of others awakening
[13:42]to those practices in themselves.
[13:43]And there is a beautiful 12 step motto
[13:47]that's a few works if you work it.
[13:49]So whether it's Gabby Bernstein's books
[13:51]or it's somebody else's work or it's a therapeutic practice
[13:54]or it's a yoga practice with our friend Tara Styles
[13:56]or whatever it might be, whatever path guides you
[14:01]to your greatest healing is all that's required.
[14:04]And I remember years ago I was having a conversation
[14:07]with my friend Deepak Chopra.
[14:08]And we were giving a talk together.
[14:10]And he said to me, you know,
[14:11]I'm doing all these different practices
[14:13]and I'm trying these different therapies
[14:14]and spiritual practices and it's like, is that okay?
[14:16]And he said, of course, he said,
[14:18]do whatever it takes to get closer to consciousness.
[14:21]And so for someone listening today,
[14:23]if they're drawn to this, then this is your step
[14:26]or if you're drawn to a different book
[14:27]that you bring in, go do that step.
[14:30]Do whatever it takes to get closer to consciousness
[14:32]because it's possible to all of us
[14:34]to have that same sense of freedom inside.
[14:37]Why help other people?
[14:38]Oh my God, I have known suffering in my lifetime
[14:42]and I know that many people having me
[14:43]and all of us suffer in our own ways.
[14:46]And I have been in the pursuit of relieving myself
[14:49]of that suffering and having the experience
[14:51]of that relief is the greatest gift I have to share.
[14:54]And I think that from a spiritual perspective,
[14:58]I believe that my soul said, sign me up for X, Y, and Z
[15:01]so I can heal and be a rock and tour and be a teacher
[15:04]and heal and support others.
[15:06]And it's funny, nobody ever really asked me the why
[15:10]because the answer's always been, that is what I do.
[15:14]It's just what I do.
[15:15]It's what I'm here to bring.
[15:17]The answer, the why, it's like I'm sitting on the keys
[15:20]to the kingdom.
[15:21]How could I not open the door for people?
[15:23]That's a beautiful way to put it.
[15:24]I love that.
[15:25]Well, not everybody would do that.
[15:28]And I think it's great.
[15:28]So I think even the decision to share and to have
[15:32]and that sort of wanting to give back to the world.
[15:35]That's a great thing.
[15:37]I don't know.
[15:38]Take a minute.
[15:39]Yeah, yeah.
[15:40]And I think that we all can do that in our own ways.
[15:43]You're doing it right now.
[15:44]You're doing it right now.
[15:45]We all have, and when we're in the service of others,
[15:48]is when we actually feel the most aligned.
[15:51]And that actually brings us to self-help
[15:53]because self is actually the thing that we all have access.
[15:56]It's an energy we all have access to.
[15:58]So these exiles, and we have these protector parts,
[16:02]we all have self and self is an energy.
[16:05]It's like you might have think of it as the God within you
[16:07]or the spirit within you or your Buddha nature
[16:10]or the universal energy of love,
[16:12]that's how to call it, but it's a force within you.
[16:15]And around you.
[16:16]And self is the energy of compassion and connection
[16:21]and creativity and courage, confidence, clarity.
[16:26]And so right here right now, we're in self.
[16:28]You and I are together because we're connecting
[16:30]and we're creating and we're calm together.
[16:34]And that self energy is what also when we're in the service
[16:38]of others, we're connecting.
[16:39]So that creates self energy.
[16:41]And so when Deepak said, do whatever it takes
[16:43]to get closer to consciousness,
[16:45]I see that as do whatever it takes to get closer to self.
[16:48]Self is there.
[16:49]You just have to release the blocks to the presence
[16:52]of that self energy.
[16:53]And that's the steps that are here in this book
[16:55]to help you go through a journey of releasing
[16:59]the resistance to that self inside.
[17:01]Yeah, I didn't have like eight of these seas.
[17:03]I feel like you were reading.
[17:04]So yeah, so Dick Schwartz has named these eight seas
[17:09]for self qualities.
[17:10]So calm, connected, compassionate, creative,
[17:16]clarity, courage, confidence, connectedness.
[17:20]I think maybe I left one out.
[17:21]I always leave one out to get the ball.
[17:25]So you basically made yourself and your healing
[17:29]into its own brand.
[17:31]How did you do that?
[17:32]And did you know you were doing that at the time?
[17:35]Yeah, I think I did.
[17:37]My teachers are great teachers,
[17:40]like Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer, Marianne Williamson,
[17:42]Louise Hay, beautiful people that were really
[17:45]devoted to the personal development space.
[17:48]And so I saw that there was a way,
[17:51]that was sort of the model I had at the time
[17:53]of what it was I was visioning and creating
[17:56]for my own career.
[17:57]And of course, it's quite different in my generation.
[17:59]We have access to a lot more ways to share a message.
[18:03]But I think I think I was 25 when I first got on a stage
[18:06]with a microphone talking about spirituality.
[18:08]And I think I've just been sort of saying yes
[18:11]in the stream, just one day at a time,
[18:13]waking up and saying, okay, yes, yes, yes.
[18:16]And those yeses have just continued to show me where to go
[18:19]and what to do and what the next book would be
[18:21]and what the next message would be.
[18:23]And also as I've said, yes, I've really said yes to myself.
[18:27]And yes, to healing myself.
[18:29]And that journey has been a journey of undoing all of the
[18:33]stories that help me back in remembering and reclaiming
[18:37]that self inside, that true nature of who I am
[18:40]and telling the story of how to get there.
[18:42]And then what does it look like to be you these days?
[18:46]Like, what is your self-actualized self?
[18:48]Like, are you working out?
[18:49]Are you like going to the movies?
[18:50]Are you doing, are you reading self-help books?
[18:53]Are you in personal development classes?
[18:56]Are you like, what does it look like now?
[19:00]I am deep into personal development every single day
[19:02]of my life because I want to keep shining the crystal.
[19:06]I'm going through menopause.
[19:08]So I'm deep in that journey with my new part-time job,
[19:11]which is, which is help managing my hormones.
[19:15]I'm not sure if you're there yet, but it is a free experience.
[19:18]Which has also been a real cracking open and a new way
[19:22]of living and really welcoming support in a way
[19:25]I've never done before.
[19:26]And I think it's something that's necessary
[19:28]when you go through something like this.
[19:30]So yes, I'm exercising very daily really
[19:33]with my heavy weights and my cardio blasts
[19:36]and all the things that we middle-aged women do.
[19:38]And-
[19:39]Shouldn't do, I'm not doing.
[19:41]Shoulds, you know, I will.
[19:44]Do what we can do, do what we can do.
[19:46]And I am, I do about two therapy sessions a week, typically,
[19:50]or one, depending on the week,
[19:51]but I have a couple of therapy with IFS
[19:53]and I have personal therapy with IFS.
[19:56]I am a mother to a six-year-old.
[19:57]So I am, let me just repeat that
[19:59]because you got a little bit.
[20:00]There.
[20:01]I'm a mother to a six-year-old, which is the greatest privilege of my life, and offers
[20:05]me endless opportunities to practice what I'm teaching in this in self-help.
[20:10]Because truly, the practice in the book is about treating your own inner children with
[20:15]respect and compassion and connection.
[20:17]And so I use the four-step method with my son on the daily, and I also am working every
[20:27]day on a moment-to-moment basis, because with this tool that I teach in the book so ingrained
[20:31]in my system, I'm really aware each moment of when I get taken out and when I'm in a
[20:36]protector part.
[20:37]So I'd mentioned I have a controlling part and I'm working with that part of me every
[20:40]day.
[20:41]I have a part of me that's really, I'm trying to really heal right now, which is an old
[20:45]belief of, you know, if I don't do it, nobody else will.
[20:48]And I heal that belief every day.
[20:49]And as I continue to heal that belief, I attract more and more support into my life.
[20:53]And things get easier and easier.
[20:55]And so I'm just going to keep working with that belief and showing up for it every day.
[21:00]And yeah, I know I just have fun.
[21:01]Like I've really great friends.
[21:02]You know, we talked about our mutual friend terrors, like cherished humans in my life that
[21:06]are so beautiful and supportive and they really, to me, are a reflection of the hard work
[21:12]I put in on myself to be able to attract those kinds of people into my life.
[21:17]I'm wonderful.
[21:19]And are you working on another book now?
[21:21]I am.
[21:22]Actually, I'm going to go right a little bit today.
[21:24]And we're going to audible original right now, which is kind of like a half of a book.
[21:28]And it will be, I'll put it into print at some point, but it's starting as audio.
[21:33]And it's called Seven Habits of the Super Attractor.
[21:36]And I have a book, there was like three books ago called Super Attractor, which is methods
[21:40]for manifesting a life beyond your wildest dreams.
[21:43]And so then I've taken the book and I've taken another step further, but really fine tuning
[21:48]and honing in on the methods of a super attractor and the qualities of what it means
[21:54]to be a super attractor.
[21:56]And like once in, what is a super attractor?
[21:58]Thank you for asking.
[21:59]So super attractor means we're really all super attractors.
[22:02]We all have the capacity to believe something and allow it to come into our reality.
[22:07]Maybe not exactly as we expected, but oftentimes far greater than we expected when we let
[22:11]go and we surrender.
[22:13]And so being a super attractor is about undoing the beliefs that are holding you back and
[22:18]really attuning your thoughts and your feelings and your energy in alignment with what
[22:23]it is that you want because so much of the time we walk around manifesting and attracting
[22:27]what we don't want because so much of our focus energy and belief systems are so hooked
[22:32]into what we don't want.
[22:33]So when we align our energy, we return to our natural state, which is a magnetic state,
[22:39]which is a vibrant state, which is a joyful state, the self energy, and that's when
[22:44]we become or we will return to our super attractor power.
[22:49]And what in life have you not achieved they still want to achieve?
[22:52]I feel really good.
[22:55]I think I would like to, my intention on the daily is to reach more people in whatever form
[23:02]I can.
[23:03]We're real, we're really suffering right now.
[23:06]There's so much suffering.
[23:08]There's so much lack of safety.
[23:12]And I just want to help people find safety inside and know that they have an inner healer
[23:16]and an inner leader and that the resources and the feelings that they're looking for outside
[23:23]of themselves are actually available inside first.
[23:26]And I really believe that if you're asking what I really want, I just want to spread
[23:31]my message far more than I even have, however, that's supposed to come.
[23:36]I'm not attached to it.
[23:38]Love it.
[23:39]Do you take time to read?
[23:40]And if so, what do you love, what do you like to read?
[23:42]I'm such a loser.
[23:43]I only read personal development, but it's not, you're not a loser.
[23:47]There's no judgment in what people read.
[23:49]I have all fours on the floor of my bedroom waiting for me to pick it up and I'm like waiting
[23:55]for some vacation or something to read it, but I really need to get my hands on that book
[24:01]because that sounds like fun, but at the moment I'm, yeah, I'm reading personal development
[24:06]books on on repeat one book right now.
[24:09]I'm reading a book that's written by Dr. Richard Schwartz's wife and it's about food and
[24:15]IFS like body and food and and and internal family systems.
[24:21]And they've kind of always got something in the background and I listen to a lot of books
[24:25]as well because when I'm driving, I'm always listening and I like to read my, I read
[24:29]all my own books for my readers, for my listeners and that's really a special thing
[24:36]I think for the author to read a book.
[24:38]Do you have a cry?
[24:39]I mean any audio book I've read, I end up crying.
[24:42]When I read my audio books in the studio, I do cry.
[24:46]Yeah.
[24:47]Any last minute advice for aspiring authors?
[24:50]Oh my God, I have so much advice for aspiring authors and I'll give you a link.
[24:54]I have a whole like free training that I have that's all about how to write your book
[24:58]outline in an hour.
[25:00]So I'll give you that and I'll get the link before we hang up and I particularly advise
[25:05]and teach personal development or not nonfiction authors, but anyone can take my principles
[25:11]and use them.
[25:12]I think that the most important thing when you sit down to write a book is to really
[25:15]know what your core message is and oftentimes your core message is reflected in your
[25:19]subtitle at the end like once you get, but I always think that forget your title at first,
[25:24]get your subtitle down.
[25:26]And if you start writing your book with your core message, which really could just be your
[25:29]subtitle, then you know where you're going and you don't end up trying to write five different
[25:33]books at once and you stick to that core message as you're through line and each chapter
[25:38]that you embark on, you have to ask yourself, is this an alignment with my core message?
[25:42]Before you even write the chapter, you would create an outline and I'll teach you how to
[25:45]do in one hour and that outline has every clear message of that core message inside of it.
[25:51]So you'll never write yourself into circles.
[25:53]That's my advice.
[25:55]That is great advice.
[25:56]I've never heard that before with the subtitle and delighted that you have an outline
[26:00]that, because I always never, I'm like, go, just Google book proposals.
[26:04]I don't know.
[26:05]Go find one.
[26:06]That's a good idea.
[26:07]Yes.
[26:08]Let me give you this link.
[26:09]Call out a second.
[26:10]I'll find it for you.
[26:11]You can go to deergabby.com forward slash start your book, start your book in an hour
[26:15]list.
[26:16]Look at you.
[26:17]Yeah.
[26:18]Amazing.
[26:19]It's really cool.
[26:20]It's a great training.
[26:21]Yeah.
[26:22]I think that that's a fun thing for anybody to try.
[26:24]I'm texting this to a girlfriend as we speak.
[26:27]Okay.
[26:28]Where can everybody find you?
[26:30]You can find me at deergabby.com.
[26:32]You can find the books self help and on Amazon or Barnes and Alvaro.
[26:36]We get your books.
[26:37]Hopefully you go to the local bookstore still in any way that you can support.
[26:40]And yeah, Gabby Bernstein on social media.
[26:44]And I'm just so happy we got to do this.
[26:46]I've heard so many wonderful things about you.
[26:50]Well, so nice to meet you too.
[26:51]I've heard great things about you and have been following along.
[26:53]And this is, uh, it's really great.
[26:56]And I got some good tips out of it for my own personal growth and all of that.
[27:01]So thank you for taking the time.
[27:02]Thank you.
[27:03]Thank you.
[27:03]Thank you.
[27:04]Thank you.
[27:04]Are you in, are you in New York right now?
[27:06]Are you in LA?
[27:07]I just got back to New York yesterday, today's go and I'll be back in LA in a couple
[27:12]weeks.
[27:13]Nice to go back and forth.
[27:15]I go back and forth.
[27:15]And you're in LA or you're in LA.
[27:17]No, I'm in New York.
[27:18]I'm in, I live in city.
[27:20]They also live in Northwestern Connecticut.
[27:21]Oh, I don't really say it.
[27:22]Like well, back and forth.
[27:23]Yeah, I live in the West Village and then like up in Connecticut.
[27:26]Actually, live in Connecticut right near, right near Terra.
[27:28]Oh, that's how you know each other.
[27:30]Well, we actually have known each other for like 20 years.
[27:33]As of our, we've been the same field for so long.
[27:34]Amazing.
[27:35]All right.
[27:36]Well, have a great day, Gabby.
[27:37]Thanks so much.
[27:38]So nice to meet you.
[27:38]Thank you for listening to meet you too.
[27:40]I really appreciate it.
[27:41]Oh, yeah.
[27:42]Okay.
[27:42]Thank you.
[27:43]Bye.
[27:43]Bye.
[27:44]Thank you for listening to totally booked with Zibi.
[27:47]Formerly, mom's don't have time to read books.
[27:50]If you loved the show, tell a friend, leave a review, follow me on Instagram
[27:54]at Zibi Owens and spread the word.
[27:57]Thanks so much.
[27:58]Oh, and buy the books.