Alli Webb, THE MESSY TRUTH: How I Sold My Business for Millions But Almost Lost Myself
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[1:03]Allie Webb is the author of The Messy Truth, how I sold my business for millions, but almost
[1:07]lost myself.
[1:09]Allie Webb is the founder of Drybar, New York Times bestselling author, Candace
[1:13]President, and co-founder of Squeeze, Bright Side, and Beckett and Quill.
[1:16]In 2010, Webb launched the very first Drybar in Brentwood, California, introducing the
[1:21]world to its iconic blowouts.
[1:23]Drybar has since exploded into a nationally recognized and highly sought-after brand, with
[1:27]over 150-plus salon locations across the US.
[1:30]Webb diversified the Drybar brand, creating a line of products and tools sold to popular
[1:35]retailers, such as Nordstrom, Sephora, and Ulta.
[1:38]Recently sold this product division to Helen of Troy for $255 million.
[1:43]Webb has been on the cover of Inc.
[1:44]Magazine's How I Did This Issue, named the 100 Most Creative People in Business by Fast
[1:48]Company, featured on Fortune Magazine's 40 Under 40 List, Marie Claire's Most Fascinating
[1:53]Women, and recently Inc. Magazine recognized her as one of the 100 Women, Building America's
[1:59]'s Most Innovative and Embitious Businesses.
[2:02]Welcome, Ali.
[2:03]Thank you so much for coming on Momstone Have Time to read books to discuss the messy
[2:07]truth, how I sold my business for millions, but almost lost myself.
[2:11]Congratulations.
[2:12]Again, you don't have to read it, you can listen to it.
[2:15]There's an audio version.
[2:16]Oh, well, it's too late, because I actually read it, but oh, well, next time, I did.
[2:20]Yeah.
[2:21]I've been doing podcast interviews, it's like people have read like bits and pieces
[2:24]of it, but it always makes me really happy when someone's read it.
[2:29]So what do you think?
[2:30]I thought it was great.
[2:31]I think you curse a lot.
[2:33]I think there's a lot.
[2:36]That's a good thing.
[2:38]No, I love it.
[2:39]It was so, I felt like I was just, I mean, I don't know you.
[2:41]I mean, I'm about to know you, but I imagine this is how you just talk, right?
[2:45]I felt like I was listening to someone talk, that I was like getting all this amazing advice,
[2:51]and I loved how you showed us the pitfalls, and like I particularly loved the epilogue,
[2:56]you know, that like things don't all end happily or after.
[2:59]And like that's okay, too.
[3:00]The afterward, sorry, sorry, the afterward, like wait, is there a epilogue?
[3:04]The afterward, yeah, the afterwards, super fun, huh?
[3:07]I feel like we probably shouldn't talk about that so that people can have to read it
[3:11]to read that part of it.
[3:12]Okay.
[3:13]Don't fast forward to the afterward.
[3:14]Forget I said it.
[3:15]Well, you can fast forward once you buy the book, but we're, I'm saying, don't.
[3:19]Yeah, we got it.
[3:20]And well, you know, I mean, listen, we'll be kind of cryptic here because you know what
[3:24]the epilogue with the, now I'm going to start calling it that, you know what the afterward
[3:28]is.
[3:29]And I think there's a lot of speculation on what that is, but I've just, I've not not has
[3:34]a PR stand, but I just didn't have one to talk about it for a lot of reasons and putting
[3:39]it at the, in the book was, you know, it's my, my agent and people were like, you got
[3:47]to put it in because this book's going to hit and then it's going to be information
[3:50]that's relevant and timely that that was rough.
[3:54]But I'm doing much better.
[3:55]I don't like hearing any of those.
[3:57]You got to do this when it comes to like my own personal information.
[4:00]I get it.
[4:01]I see from the book's perspective why they want that again, I mean, because you know,
[4:05]the whole book as you, I'm sure would agree is a very transparent look into my life,
[4:10]my business, my, you know, that you said the pitfalls, the ups and downs of growing a business
[4:15]and like all the, you know, things we go through as humans while we're doing our lives
[4:19]and running our companies or our jobs and whatever.
[4:22]And, you know, it would feel disingenuous to me and, you know, into my audience of like,
[4:29]hey, we had a little pitfall there at the end that I didn't see coming that I felt it was
[4:34]important to include because it's part of the message or it's part of the, the realness
[4:40]of like what we, what we go through in life, you know, so yeah, like I said, the advice
[4:45]that was given was to put something in and I agreed with it, you know, also I was not
[4:50]totally thinking straight at that time.
[4:52]So to get people, my agent is like one of my best friends.
[4:55]So it's like to get one of, to get that like insight of somebody who's looking from the
[4:59]outside in was, was really helpful, you know, yeah.
[5:02]So what are they talking about, which I know, sorry, this, well, hopefully they're
[5:07]completely intrigued and run out and buy this book right now.
[5:12]So I did not know I was really interested in sort of the rise of dry bar and how it came
[5:16]about.
[5:17]And of course, it's one of those ideas were like, well, that's, of course, that's such
[5:21]a good idea.
[5:22]Why, just it's not existing.
[5:23]Why didn't it exist?
[5:24]And I didn't realize that you started it, sort of to help moms at home who didn't have time
[5:28]to do this.
[5:29]So, yeah, tell listeners more about that sort of inspiration behind your starting
[5:33]dry bar and then I guess fast forward to why you want to talk about it to everybody
[5:37]now.
[5:38]Yeah.
[5:39]I was a stay at home mom.
[5:41]I mean, I've, you know, a long time hair stylist when I was like, you know, my early 20s,
[5:44]I went to go to school and really fell in love with it and spent the next, you know,
[5:48]10 years or so doing hair off and on and, and then I moved to LA from New York City.
[5:53]And with my, that has been Cameron and we had our boys and I, I also, by the way, thought
[6:00]I hit the jackpot and just that, you know, I was like, I don't have to work anymore.
[6:04]I can just stay home and take care of my kids, which didn't realize what a big job that
[6:08]was.
[6:09]You know, I really love, I really loved being home with my boys and I, I felt really
[6:14]lucky that I was able to be a stay at home mom and I loved every second of it and, you
[6:19]know, it was like five years of that, which is a good chunk of time to be a stay at home
[6:23]mom and for, you know, for me anyways.
[6:24]And, and then I just started to get the itch to do something for myself.
[6:29]And because I had had all this time and experience in doing hair, you know, it seemed like
[6:33]a logical step to start a mobile blow up business where I was like, doing my, my whole
[6:40]idea for this was that because I was so enmeshed in the like the mommy community and culture
[6:46]in LA, because when I first moved to LA, you know, I was, I just had my son and my first
[6:50]son.
[6:51]So I was, you know, in all the mommy groups and I was in like total mommy world, that's
[6:54]all I knew in LA.
[6:55]So that was like my resource of, of women and, and so after, you know, five years and
[7:00]feeling frustrated that I wanted to do something for myself, I was like, well, I can
[7:03]do blowouts in my sleep and I was like, you know, I, I had girlfriends and whatever
[7:08]who had curly hair and always wanted me to blow out their hair.
[7:11]So I was like, you know, I think there's like a little bitty business here and that's
[7:15]truly like all it was at the time, you know, I was like, let me get out of the house for
[7:18]a couple hours, you know, blow up my mommy friend's hair and that's what I, that's what
[7:22]I marketed to you.
[7:23]I was at the time I was like, again, this was like 14 years ago, there was a Yahoo group
[7:29]called like, Peachheads and it was like 5,000 moms in LA and that was the thing that
[7:34]I posted and said, hey, I'm a say no mom, a long time hair stylist, I'm thinking of starting
[7:38]a mobile blow up business where I'll come to your house and blow out your hair while
[7:41]your baby is sleeping because I'm talking to moms and I really thought that was genius
[7:45]because I knew like my only knee time was when my kids were napping, which was like
[7:51]the holy grail of time, you know, and so I was like, let me come over like do something
[7:55]that women would really like and appreciate and I also realized people wouldn't do it
[8:00]if it was like $150, but if it was 40 bucks, which was my big business plan was like
[8:05]220s, women would do that all day long, you know, easy peasy.
[8:09]And so, you know, therein lies how the mobile business got started, which is called straight
[8:13]at home.
[8:14]You know, what I didn't see coming was that that was going, you know, that I was stumbling
[8:19]inadvertently upon something that was going to obviously become massive.
[8:22]I just didn't realize it was like, I started this business and I was so happy.
[8:27]I was like, I was getting out of the house for a few hours, making a little extra cash,
[8:31]which I'm sure I didn't actually make any money between gas driving around LA, but I didn't
[8:35]even care about, I've never cared about the money even in, even, and we can get to that
[8:39]later.
[8:40]But even in like building dry bar was always about the like purpose and happiness that
[8:43]I was looking for and, and I was really excited, you know, this business was like booming
[8:47]and I was, I was, I was so busy all the time, which was really the crossroads that I
[8:52]came to that would eventually lead to dry bar because I couldn't handle all the demand.
[8:57]And I have 40 bucks a pop and I was pretty good at the blowouts and we remember loving
[9:00]and they were telling all their friends that I got so busy so fast.
[9:04]And so I was like, well, what now and realize I had to either, you know, kind of keep
[9:09]operating at this pace, which is going to be pretty small or, you know, build an actual
[9:14]brick and mortar, which is when I went to my brother Michael and said, Hey, I think I should
[9:18]turn my mobile business into, you know, an actual shop and said, me going to them, they
[9:22]came to me and, you know, he was like, he's bald and he's like, what?
[9:26]What?
[9:27]Like her own hair and I was like, first of all, you grew up with me and this like, you
[9:31]know, frizzy mob that I, but okay, you know, and his wife at the time had like naturally
[9:36]straight hair and he was like, I just don't know that I till I get this.
[9:39]And also, you know, really thought it was going to be like event driven, like if you're
[9:42]going to a puppet or, you know, a birthday party or a wedding or whatever, then you come
[9:46]in for blood.
[9:47]I actually think what I didn't know was that it was going to be for women who had
[9:51]straight hair and wanted like waves and volume and curl.
[9:54]I just thought it was going to be for women who had hair like me that was like unruly
[9:57]and they wanted it done turns out.
[10:00]Well, most women, what would they don't have?
[10:02]And so we had a massive audience of women
[10:04]who were gonna come in and have all different age ranges.
[10:07]And so that's really how the whole thing came to be.
[10:12]So as it was growing and your life was like getting out
[10:15]of control, when was the turning point
[10:18]where you're like something has to change here?
[10:20]Well, you mean while the business was like driving?
[10:23]Well, I mean, you know, it's like anything,
[10:26]when you're going, you're operating at a break next speed
[10:29]and for me it was like, you know,
[10:32]we were just at the best way to describe it.
[10:34]It was like we were on a rocket ship.
[10:35]I mean, we were moving so fast and my kids were so young
[10:38]when I started the business and my boys were three and five.
[10:41]And you know, at the time my mom has since passed away
[10:46]but my mom was like, we kind of moved my mom wherever we went
[10:48]and she was with the kids and it was just,
[10:50]it was total chaos like in the best way.
[10:53]And my life changed, you know, it was like 180 degree change
[10:58]and I think, you know,
[11:00]the dry bar became like a third child for me and Cam
[11:04]and you know, we were married 16 years in total
[11:06]but, you know, the year after we got married,
[11:09]we had Grant and then we had Kid and then we had dry bar.
[11:12]I mean, it's really happened that quickly, you know,
[11:14]within like the first five years.
[11:16]And I now realize looking back that I was like,
[11:20]I knew the love, I knew subconsciously
[11:23]that the love between us wasn't right, totally right.
[11:25]But we were best friends, which I now also know
[11:27]was totally modeling my parents' marriage,
[11:29]which is another fucking book.
[11:31]But you know, now and I realize like that.
[11:34]And so as the dry bar is growing and we were at year in
[11:39]and there obviously is just so much in between
[11:41]which of course I talk a lot about in the book,
[11:43]the growing and everything.
[11:44]But I always say it like year seven.
[11:46]I was like, you know, the writing was starting
[11:48]to be on the wall that like, okay,
[11:49]we're probably gonna sell this thing at some point
[11:52]and we'll go public or whatever.
[11:53]And we also gotten the business to the place where,
[11:56]which I talked a lot about in the book,
[11:57]where like we had brought on a professional CEO.
[12:00]We had started to bring on more people
[12:01]who were kind of doing essentially what I was doing.
[12:04]You know, but it had to get on a bigger scale now.
[12:06]That wasn't like my thing.
[12:07]You know, I was like the visionary of the company
[12:09]and I didn't want to be a CEO.
[12:11]I didn't want to be the head of operations.
[12:13]I didn't, you know, for a long time I still,
[12:15]you know, was doing like, you know, frontward,
[12:17]forth facing stuff like press and product development
[12:20]and making sure the experience of the shop was right.
[12:23]But really ultimately everybody else was starting
[12:25]to do a lot of what I had done.
[12:26]And so I, you know, I started to feeling like
[12:28]the desire to step away and a little bit.
[12:31]And I was, you know, starting to pursue kind of my own things.
[12:34]And I was like, what's gonna happen when we sell drybar?
[12:36]Like what happens to me personally?
[12:38]So I like that's rather than time I hired personal PR
[12:41]cause I was like, I want to continue to build
[12:43]my own personal career and use this parlay,
[12:46]this success of drybar into my own thing.
[12:48]And whatever, what that looked like,
[12:49]I didn't know I just had the foresight to know.
[12:52]And then it was around that time that, you know,
[12:54]Kam and I decided to separate.
[12:56]And then it was also around that time that my son,
[12:58]went off my older son Grant,
[13:00]who's now 18 kind of went off the rails.
[13:02]And as you know, there's a whole chapter devoted to this.
[13:05]And it was just like everything unraveled.
[13:07]And like it at once, you know,
[13:09]I had slowly started to step away from the business.
[13:12]But now the office that I shared with Kam
[13:14]couldn't go there anymore.
[13:15]And now my son, I mean, you know,
[13:19]it's like it will be interesting to see how I talk about this
[13:22]as I can do press for this book
[13:23]because it's so emotional to me.
[13:25]Like what my son went through.
[13:27]Cause it was like, we were fighting for his life.
[13:29]I mean, he was, it was bad.
[13:31]And, you know, it felt like,
[13:34]and maybe this is just how it happens a lot.
[13:36]It's like when, you know, it's like,
[13:37]when your life starts to unravel,
[13:39]it all unravels.
[13:41]And it was like, I had lost my footing in the company.
[13:44]I wasn't going to an office anymore.
[13:46]And this was pre-COVID before people weren't not going to
[13:48]offices.
[13:49]And now my, I'm like fighting for my kid's life.
[13:51]And I was like, you got to be kidding me.
[13:53]Like what happened here, you know?
[13:55]And the business is still off thriving.
[13:57]And other people were running it and thank God for that
[13:59]because you would have never known something outside
[14:01]looking in, but it was, it was really rough.
[14:04]It was like a rough couple of years where like,
[14:06]and then I as a result of all those things,
[14:08]like I fell into a pretty deep depression
[14:11]of like trying to get this all figured out.
[14:12]And, you know, and it was like so fascinating, you know,
[14:17]to like what people think.
[14:19]I was actually just listening to so random,
[14:22]but I was listening to Jay Shetty's podcast
[14:24]and Jada Pinkett was on it talking about her life.
[14:26]And she was just talking about a time in her life.
[14:29]And she was just saying there's just these days
[14:31]like where you're like, if I can just get out of bed.
[14:34]And if I can just make it, she says
[14:36]until like four o'clock and I was like, man,
[14:39]do I relate to that?
[14:40]Cause there's just those days where you're like,
[14:41]I just don't know how to get through the day
[14:44]without it all feeling like it's off on the part.
[14:47]You know, but from the outside,
[14:49]you know, I had this great life
[14:50]and I built this great business
[14:52]and I had these adorable kids in this great marriage
[14:53]and all these things and it was all imploding, you know.
[14:56]And to answer your question of like why talking about it now,
[14:59]it's like we did put out at like a statement,
[15:02]which felt weird to me and end up itself
[15:04]cause it's like, I'm not like him Kardashian
[15:06]and anybody who really cares what's going on in my personal life.
[15:09]But it was more for like the respect
[15:11]of the people involved in Drybar,
[15:12]which was, you know, 5,000 employees.
[15:14]And it was the substantial amount of people
[15:17]come and I put out a statement about, you know,
[15:19]just the fact that we were separating and whatever,
[15:21]you know, and I just,
[15:22]and so I opened up a little bit about that.
[15:24]And I felt very like I,
[15:27]when we talk a lot about this now more,
[15:29]but like this was also five, six years ago.
[15:32]You know, I was like our Instagrams
[15:34]and our social stuff is very much like highlight real.
[15:36]I'm like, we're all guilty of that.
[15:37]And like we all wanna look good and show good and whatever,
[15:40]but I felt this like I don't wanna be disingenuous
[15:46]even if it's just to five people.
[15:47]Like the fact that my marriage was falling apart,
[15:50]my life was falling apart.
[15:52]I was like, I'm not gonna like then go on Instagram
[15:54]be like, hey guys, you know,
[15:56]and so I was transparent about it.
[15:58]And the response to that was so many people reaching out
[16:02]to me and like I'm going through this too.
[16:04]And then a lot of like, I'm not having my marriage
[16:06]either Charlotte and my husband.
[16:07]And then I was like, I don't know.
[16:09]That's like out of my, no, you do what you need to do.
[16:13]But maybe it's time to like really look inward,
[16:16]which is what I was doing.
[16:17]But you know, it's just, it was really interesting
[16:19]to me in quite like fascinating and illuminating,
[16:21]I guess how many people were grateful,
[16:24]I think it's the best word for my transparency.
[16:27]And then it just like felt like, oh,
[16:30]I think I'm maybe helping people.
[16:31]And then I was like, oh, well, if I can serve other people
[16:36]based on talking about my story and the fact that like,
[16:40]you know, I remember when we started Dry Bar
[16:42]and feeling like it's like almost sense of pride
[16:46]because our style is, because I was just a hairstylist.
[16:48]Like, you know, it's like, I didn't,
[16:50]I didn't know the right people.
[16:51]And that's why Dry Bar became successful.
[16:53]I didn't have money.
[16:54]And that's why, you know, it was like,
[16:55]I was just this regular girl who's a hairstylist.
[16:58]And I always felt this sense of like,
[17:00]if I could do it, you could do it.
[17:01]And that was kind of the feeling amongst stylists
[17:04]that Dry Bar like, was she did this,
[17:05]and I can probably do it.
[17:07]And it was the same kind of feeling.
[17:09]I think I was getting in response and reaction
[17:12]to what I was going through where these like other women
[17:15]who were like, oh, wow, you're going through that.
[17:19]So am I.
[17:20]And it just feels, and we know, and we all know this, right?
[17:23]It's like when you know somebody else is going through
[17:24]something else, something that you're going through,
[17:26]it's really comforting.
[17:27]So the more I put out about that,
[17:29]the more I think it, you know, it just helped.
[17:32]And I know it helps because I'm the same way.
[17:34]It's like, if I read about somebody,
[17:35]especially somebody who I might admire
[17:37]or is doing something that I think is great.
[17:39]And then they're like, their life is also
[17:41]falling apart.
[17:42]You're like, oh, God, it's not just me.
[17:44]You know, I think to answer your question,
[17:46]I think that's why I felt and have continued to feel
[17:51]this calling, I think, more than anything
[17:53]to be really transparent with what I'm going through.
[17:56]And I think also once you've been through like, you know,
[17:58]like as I call the dark night of the soul,
[18:03]you feel at least me compelled to like talk about that
[18:09]versus like bullshit conversations.
[18:11]It's just almost impossible to go back.
[18:13]Like even right now, like you just dive right in
[18:16]because it's more interesting to me
[18:18]than talking about something superficial or surface
[18:20]or canned or whatever.
[18:21]So that's my very long way to answer the question.
[18:25]I'm glad you dove right in because, you know,
[18:28]this is what makes conversation and connection
[18:31]so interesting, right?
[18:32]Why, I don't know, who has time?
[18:35]I mean, we might just say, right?
[18:36]I don't know.
[18:37]It's a good step, you know, exactly.
[18:39]I have gone through a divorce myself.
[18:41]I have four kids.
[18:41]I was a stay-at-home mom.
[18:42]I almost like pulled my hair out,
[18:43]but I stayed home for 11 years
[18:45]because I had twins and then like six years later
[18:46]had two markets.
[18:47]So anyway, I relate to a lot of things
[18:49]and was kind of hoping for,
[18:52]and I also believe strongly in transparency.
[18:55]I think it's like the only way.
[18:57]And I'm so glad it's on trend
[18:58]because like I've been doing this forever.
[19:00]You know, like, wow, it is like what is the point?
[19:03]You know, and it's like to get into like a deep connection
[19:06]with somebody and to be able to like go like more soul
[19:08]to soul and human healing.
[19:10]Like, yeah, why would we do it any other way?
[19:13]I don't agree.
[19:14]I totally agree.
[19:15]And I love like that this whole instinct for the business
[19:18]and the sharing and the book and all of it
[19:20]is coming from your place of wanting to help others
[19:22]in whatever way and make people happier,
[19:24]whether it's feeling good about themselves
[19:26]because their hair is behaving to, you know,
[19:29]not feeling like their own relationship
[19:32]is the only one that's imploding.
[19:34]You know, it's my hand, you know,
[19:36]and being mixed in, it was really important to me
[19:39]and what I wanted to do,
[19:41]whether it's been done or not before,
[19:43]but you know, I think it was actually speaking of,
[19:46]I think it was Jay who said to me like
[19:49]the intersection of this book was interesting to him
[19:51]because it's like, it was just really what I was hoping for
[19:53]is to like, there are a lot of business takeaways in this book.
[19:57]It is a lot.
[19:58]And to the point where we even went,
[20:00]back several times and edited and re-edited
[20:02]to bring in more of the business stories
[20:05]than we did in the beginning.
[20:07]It was a little too personal heavy in the beginning
[20:08]and then we made it more, you know,
[20:09]because like, and to me, that was really the goal
[20:12]of the book was like, I want this book to be like,
[20:16]this is like a kick ass entrepreneurial journey
[20:19]exploration where you're gonna learn a lot about
[20:22]the ups and downs of running a business
[20:23]and like what worked and what didn't work
[20:24]and like use the facts of what I went through
[20:28]and like what I learned along the way
[20:30]because it really was like getting, you know,
[20:32]a master's in business, you know,
[20:33]running this business, having never run a business before.
[20:36]And then, you know, and then the flip side of like
[20:38]what the personal side is and what I used to say
[20:41]in the early days and like what I used to do interviews
[20:43]was like, oh, it's, you know, business is business
[20:45]and personal is personal.
[20:46]Like I think we all used to say that at some point
[20:48]and then I was like, no, I always send that, you know,
[20:51]that like we are who we are and we take our shit
[20:54]wherever we go, you know,
[20:55]and this like to your point about transparency.
[20:58]It's like if we don't, of course,
[20:59]it's like we're going through divorce
[21:01]or fighting with our kids or whatever we're doing,
[21:04]we're gonna show up energetically so different
[21:07]and to be trying to hide that versus leaning into it
[21:11]like listen up and I'm very transparent, obviously.
[21:14]You know, when I'm going through something,
[21:16]like I tell all the people around me
[21:17]whether it's like my friends and family people
[21:19]who I work with like listening guys.
[21:21]This is what I'm going through.
[21:22]Like I'm gonna be a little slow to respond
[21:25]and may not be able to do that.
[21:26]I'm gonna have to cancel some things
[21:27]because I'm having a hard day
[21:29]and I might just do it an hour before
[21:31]because I just can't muster up the energy
[21:33]to do that and you know what I mean?
[21:34]But it's like the people who are with you and love you
[21:38]and work with you are like on the same page as you.
[21:40]Like it's just like makes everybody's life easier
[21:42]and more understanding and people are so understanding
[21:44]of that stuff as long as you're willing to like be open
[21:48]about it, which I think is like an important,
[21:50]it's just like an important, I think it's an important
[21:52]like human step that is so, you know, gosh.
[21:56]I mean like, I mean, I think it's also good
[21:58]that you have the right people around you.
[22:00]I mean, not everybody has that luxury.
[22:02]They could feel alone and not have the right people,
[22:04]you know, pulling for them or their in environments
[22:06]where they're, it's not okay to sort of share
[22:08]which is much harder.
[22:10]But it's unfortunate and I think that like go somewhere
[22:13]else then, you know, again, we can and it's so true
[22:17]because I just like had a flash of like,
[22:19]oh, if you're working in this really corporate environment,
[22:21]there's no way you could share with your boss
[22:22]like what you're going through.
[22:23]Like like let's eradicate those places, you know,
[22:26]where like you're not a lot.
[22:27]I mean, and I'm not saying like listen,
[22:29]I think the pendulum swings a lot in our world
[22:32]of like, I'm not saying you should like,
[22:34]you gotta pull your shit together too.
[22:35]And like you've got like at some point,
[22:37]you have to like go back to your job and whatever.
[22:39]But, you know, a lot of the books that I've read
[22:42]in the last couple of years about like going through
[22:44]heartbreak and divorce and all the things
[22:46]that I was going through.
[22:47]And you know what, you know what it's like
[22:48]when you're going through that.
[22:49]And you're like, give me something to read
[22:51]that's gonna like make me feel better.
[22:52]And I have found a lot.
[22:54]I feel like I'm a real resource for that now.
[22:57]And then so many things I read were like,
[22:59]our society doesn't allow time for grieving a heartbreak.
[23:03]It does for the death, which of course I'm happy about that
[23:07]and like whatever.
[23:08]But like, and you probably know this,
[23:09]I mean, obviously don't know the extent of your divorce,
[23:11]but like I have been through some real, real heartbreak
[23:15]and where I couldn't get off the floor, you know.
[23:19]And to not throughout the fact that our society
[23:22]doesn't allow us like some real time.
[23:24]Not even like, you know, like our, even some of our friends,
[23:27]you know, it's like everyone's like,
[23:28]oh yeah, you know, you take a couple of days
[23:29]and then you get back out and nobody died.
[23:31]You know, it's like, well, you know, I don't know.
[23:33]That's really accurate.
[23:35]And you know, and the thing is just like building
[23:37]compassion and empathy for people and you know,
[23:40]and rallying people rallying around you is like really
[23:44]the medicine to, you know, which is why I think we should
[23:47]all live in community and community as well.
[23:50]I would argue that there's not enough time for grieving either.
[23:53]I mean, a week or whatever you could take off.
[23:56]That's just to like get through the paperwork.
[24:00]I mean, the work of grief takes forever
[24:03]and, you know, is unpredictable.
[24:05]But, you know, there's no perfect solution.
[24:09]But I agree.
[24:10]I think professionalism is sort of an overrated,
[24:14]outdated thing.
[24:15]Like I'm constantly telling my team.
[24:16]I'm like, okay, it's totally informational again.
[24:18]But like here's how I feel and like this is
[24:21]any, but it's like beautiful to be able to figure out a way
[24:24]to like, you know, be able to meld those together.
[24:27]And again, it's not the point where everyone's like,
[24:30]you know, airing their dirty laundry constantly,
[24:33]but finding that middle ground of like,
[24:35]here's what I'm going through.
[24:36]And I'm showing up.
[24:37]Yeah, but here's what I'm going through.
[24:38]And then there's like, you know, just a little extra
[24:40]compassion.
[24:41]I mean, that's the world I want to live in anyway, you know.
[24:43]Yes, totally.
[24:45]On the other side of this business.
[24:47]Do you find yourself coming up with millions of I,
[24:50]are you like an ideas person all the time?
[24:52]You have tons and tons of ideas?
[24:53]Well, it's like a curse.
[24:54]They don't stop, you know, I mean, and I think that that's,
[24:57]yeah, but I'm totally an idea person.
[24:59]I mean, you know, we have squeeze, which is this new massage
[25:01]concept that we, you know, I'm so proud of that's totally
[25:04]taking off.
[25:05]We have like eight units in development right now.
[25:07]Britney just stole our former head of marketing a dry bar
[25:10]is running that and just doing a beautiful job.
[25:12]And I'd love to take credit for that.
[25:14]But it really is my brother's idea.
[25:16]Like obviously he's not partaking in blowouts,
[25:18]but he was like, there's, you know, it was the same problem.
[25:21]Like why is there not a great place for massage?
[25:23]So there's squeeze, there's bright side, which is our infrared
[25:26]yoga concept.
[25:28]I joined with another mom who had a jewelry company
[25:31]and helping her kind of get that into the next realm.
[25:34]But you know, I think, I think it's like for me, there's, you
[25:38]know, and then I just started this mastermind that I'm doing.
[25:40]that's really fun and it's like helping, again, like helping
[25:43]other entrepreneurs.
[25:44]And I speak in a lot of events.
[25:46]And I'm sure I forget I'm forgetting something else.
[25:49]I have going on because I mean, truly, I am always like, oh,
[25:51]shit, I didn't talk about that because I forgot, you know,
[25:54]but just because I thrive in the busyness and the chaos of it.
[25:59]But I'm also like, like, we're hard play hard.
[26:01]Like, you know, I'm one of those people.
[26:04]And I know this is like controversial, but I mean, a little,
[26:07]but I'm like, I'd rather be on a vacation
[26:10]and take calls and work a little bit and be a vacation.
[26:15]Because I'm like, you can work wherever.
[26:18]Yeah, can I be present?
[26:20]I knew I'd forget something.
[26:22]Yeah, and I love canopy.
[26:23]Like, I'm so excited for that.
[26:24]You know, it's like, I get myself involved in a lot of projects.
[26:28]So I like being busy.
[26:29]I like being fulfilled.
[26:30]I like trying different things to see where I land.
[26:32]But I also like, I enjoy working and I don't, you know,
[26:36]it's actually, I don't think if it is work.
[26:38]And I think that that's like, they're in lies like the key
[26:41]and success of life.
[26:42]It's like, you are, you know, if you can find some balance
[26:46]in, which is funny, because I have a chapter called
[26:48]Balances of Bullshit, which I do believe that too.
[26:51]But if you can find some like daily, like, oh, I'm like,
[26:55]I like, for example, like I have crazy couple of weeks coming up.
[26:57]But I'm going away to Palm Springs for just a few days.
[27:00]And I'll probably do some work from there,
[27:01]but I'll be in Palm Springs at this beautiful place.
[27:03]You know, and I love the balance of that, you know,
[27:06]and sometimes I'll work until like 11 o'clock at night.
[27:08]And sometimes I'll be done at four o'clock in the, you know,
[27:10]it's just like, and it's also like, you know,
[27:12]like being an entrepreneur, you have that kind of luxury,
[27:15]which I think is what I love about who I am and what I get to do
[27:18]in my life.
[27:19]But yeah, I, the ideas come fast and furious.
[27:22]And it is always my advice to other entrepreneurs all the time.
[27:26]It's like, you can, there are so many opportunities out there
[27:31]to improve things that already exist.
[27:34]So I'll take this in, massage is existed.
[27:36]Humanifiers exist.
[27:37]Jewelry is, it all has existed.
[27:39]I mean, my, which, you know, it just kind of like,
[27:43]fell into this was like, it's just gonna all be better.
[27:45]Like, why don't we try to make, you know, what exists better?
[27:48]And that's always really been part of my mission,
[27:51]and I think, and that's always my advice,
[27:53]is like, if you love this place that you go,
[27:55]but they're not, you know, doing a great job
[27:58]on whatever reason, which is like, sadly, a lot of the cases
[28:02]for a lot of businesses, like, go do it better, you know?
[28:05]You don't have to invent the iPhone to be successful, you know?
[28:08]Yeah.
[28:09]Although, did you see that blackberry movie?
[28:11]No, but I want to, I saw the, yeah.
[28:13]It's really, I want to say it's so bad.
[28:14]And it's so funny.
[28:15]It's like, my brother had a blackberry for so long.
[28:17]And even when his blackberry was really dead,
[28:20]he would not get an iPhone, it was just as big joke with us
[28:22]and that he, because he likes that he could type
[28:24]without looking at the phone because of the, the greatest buttons.
[28:27]And I saw the preview for that months ago.
[28:29]And I was like, oh, I can't wait to see that.
[28:30]Like, what an extraordinary case of like,
[28:34]not being willing to grow.
[28:35]And I haven't even seen that.
[28:36]I'd be very excited.
[28:37]It was good.
[28:38]It's like a cautionary tale, but it's also, sometimes things
[28:41]come, you can never have predicted.
[28:43]And anyway, I'm kind of dying to talk about this movie
[28:45]to somebody, but it's okay.
[28:47]After you watch it, send me, it's like DM me or something.
[28:50]We talk about it.
[28:51]Oh my God.
[28:53]Yeah.
[28:54]Yeah.
[28:55]Ellie, thank you so much.
[28:56]I feel like we could have gone on forever.
[28:57]But thank you for the messy truth.
[28:59]Thank you for all the other stories that are in here
[29:01]and the lessons and the worksheets and like all the other stuff.
[29:05]And just for being willing to kind of go there
[29:06]and make this time worthwhile.
[29:10]Well, thank you so much.
[29:10]It was a very enjoyable chat.
[29:13]So thank you for reading the book and thanks for promoting it
[29:16]and all that stuff.
[29:17]I appreciate it.
[29:18]All right.
[29:18]Okay. Bye.
[29:20]Bye.
[29:21]Thanks for listening to this episode of Moms Don't Have Time
[29:24]to Read Books.
[29:25]Don't forget to follow me on Instagram, ads,
[29:27]sibi Owens and at Moms Don't Have Time to Read Books.
[29:30]Also sign up for my newsletter at zibiowans.com
[29:33]and sign up for my virtual book club
[29:34]and meet lots of authors on Zoom every other week.
[29:37]Thanks so much to Steve and Ryan at Textures Sound
[29:40]for the Sound Editing.
[29:41]And thank you to Morning Moon Productions
[29:43]for providing this fantastic intro and outro music.