Carmen Micsa, MORSELS OF LOVE: A Book of Poetry and Short Form
[0:02]Hi, I'm Zivi Owens, the creator and host of the award-winning podcast that you're listening to right now.
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[0:58]Carmen Mixa is the author of Morcels of Love, a book of poetry and short form.
[1:02]She is a creative nonfiction writer and poet who is her in both her BA and MA degrees in English
[1:07]from Sacramento State University.
[1:09]She has published memoir, Creative Nonfiction, a tennis book called Change Your Grip on Life
[1:14]Through Tennis, and her two poetry books, The PR, The Poetics of Running, A Book of Poetry and Motion.
[1:20]She is now working on her memoir about her life going up in communism.
[1:24]Carmen is also the broker CEO of her own company, Dynamic Real Estate Bank, and has been featured in
[1:29]Forbes Magazine in 2021 for her dedication to her clients.
[1:32]When she is not selling real estate and writing, Carmen is an avid marathon runner
[1:36]who ran London, Boston, New York, and Chicago World Marathon.
[1:40]She is the podcaster of Seeds of Sunshine, a mother-daughter podcast that she started doing with
[1:45]her daughters last summer.
[1:47]Mixa lives with her husband, Catalyn, and her two teenage children.
[1:51]Welcome, Carmen.
[1:52]Thank you so much for coming on moms.
[1:54]Don't have time to read books.
[1:55]I'm so excited to have you here.
[1:58]Thank you so much for having me.
[1:59]It is a great honor, and I am just very, very happy to see you and to talk to you.
[2:07]Well, you not only self-published your second collection of poems, More Souls of Love,
[2:13]but you also wrote a tennis book back in the day.
[2:16]When was I love it?
[2:17]It was like, when was that published, by the way?
[2:20]Yes, it was published in 2018.
[2:23]Okay.
[2:24]Because what happened, I was in my 40s, and I decided to go back to college just to be on the
[2:29]tennis team.
[2:30]No.
[2:32]Yes, and all my colleagues, they are my friends.
[2:37]They were 18, 19-year-old, and they were more tired than me.
[2:41]And they were like, how come you never tired, Carmen?
[2:44]Because I was like, let's play all the matches in one day and get it done with.
[2:48]Wow.
[2:50]Wait, so you're from Romania originally?
[2:52]Yes.
[2:53]Let's talk about tennis first, because that's fun.
[2:56]Yes.
[2:57]Did you grow up a tennis player?
[2:58]Like, did you compete?
[2:59]Tell me your tennis history.
[3:01]Oh, so what happened is my father was a ping pong champion.
[3:05]He was really good at ping pong, but when I was in sixth grade, I said,
[3:10]daddy, I want to play pennies, and he goes, well, we're going to play on a quarter of the
[3:16]quarter, because, you know, I don't know how to play tennis, but we'll both learn.
[3:20]And I said, great.
[3:21]Then we started to play.
[3:23]And then once we both learned, we moved to the whole quarter.
[3:26]You know, and we were having so much fun.
[3:29]And I never competed as a kid.
[3:31]But then I met my future husband.
[3:34]We met and he said, I love to play tennis.
[3:37]And I said, so do I.
[3:38]And we started to play tennis.
[3:39]You know, and then we came to America, actually.
[3:43]And that's when we really started to play a lot of pennies.
[3:47]We played tournaments.
[3:48]And I played over 250 tournaments in USDA.
[3:52]You know, wow, yes.
[3:55]And so it was just like our way to release stress.
[3:59]You know, first year, we used to work like 12 hour days.
[4:02]And then we would go in the evening for a local park and play tennis.
[4:06]So did you end up getting ranked in all of that or no?
[4:09]Oh, yes.
[4:10]I was a 4.5 in USDA.
[4:12]And now I'm a floral because I don't play as much.
[4:15]I run more.
[4:17]Right.
[4:18]So that's your other big thing is running.
[4:20]Tell me how far do you run?
[4:22]Like what is your running schedule?
[4:25]How do you?
[4:26]I mean, this is amazing to be in such great shape and be able to accomplish all these goals.
[4:32]Thank you, ZB.
[4:33]As a matter of fact, I feel, you know, in my fourthies, I am much stronger than I was in my
[4:38]20s, honestly, you know, because it's with running, we all know that you put in the work
[4:45]and you actually get things in return.
[4:47]You know, like you actually become better as you age with running.
[4:50]And we have a funny thing, runners.
[4:52]We always celebrate getting older because we moved another age group.
[4:59]So it's just counterintuitive.
[5:01]But we're like, yes, we're in a new age group.
[5:04]Now we can do better or we can, you know, run stronger.
[5:09]Wow.
[5:10]So how, like, how much do you run and play tennis in a week?
[5:14]Yes.
[5:14]So lately we tennis it about once a week.
[5:17]All my friends keep trying to get me on the tennis court.
[5:20]And I'm like, no, I have to run 20 miles because I'm preparing for Berlin Merrittan.
[5:25]So in Merrittan training, I ran 60 miles last week, 60, all right.
[5:32]But if I prepare for a 5K, obviously, though, the training is different.
[5:37]But I always have fun.
[5:38]And I run with friends and they listen to me talk.
[5:41]I'm like, I'm writing the new poem where I'm writing the new short story.
[5:46]And I'm doing this.
[5:46]And then they tell me what they're doing.
[5:49]And our miles just fly by, you know?
[5:52]I mean, my miles never fly by.
[5:54]But that's amazing that you can do that.
[5:57]That's just wonderful.
[5:58]So I didn't read your tennis book.
[6:00]I have to admit.
[6:01]But tell me what I should know from that book because it's not just it's about nutrition
[6:06]and life and how you translate tennis into having you.
[6:09]Tell me the title.
[6:10]I see the great behind you.
[6:12]And I have it.
[6:13]I looked it up ahead of time, but I don't have it in front of me.
[6:16]It's changing people like to tennis, players, physical, mental, technical, and nutritional
[6:22]dive for improving your game.
[6:25]So my goal when I wrote this book is I wanted to share my college experience because it was
[6:31]fun, you know?
[6:32]And I also wanted to share workouts.
[6:34]But maybe I wanted to share the Zen of tennis, what I call the Zen of tennis.
[6:40]And because we're talking about Zen and tennis and writing, I think it helps us a lot
[6:48]as a writer, as writers when we don't have any preconceived ideas, right?
[6:53]Like we don't come to life thinking that we know things.
[6:57]And that's what you learn through sports that there's always a new angle.
[7:01]And tennis is about geometry, right?
[7:03]Like when you create those angles on the court, like you see things differently,
[7:08]you get to place the ball the way you want it and you feel accomplished.
[7:13]You know?
[7:14]And speaking about Zen, I really love this story.
[7:17]A Japanese master during the Meiji era, received the university professor who came to
[7:23]inquire about Zen.
[7:25]And none even served him tea.
[7:27]He poured his visitors cup full.
[7:30]And then kept on pouring.
[7:31]The professor watched the cup overflow until he no longer could be strained himself.
[7:37]It is overflow.
[7:38]No more will go in.
[7:41]Like this cup, none instant.
[7:43]You are full of your own opinions and speculations.
[7:46]How can I show you Zen, unless you first empty your cup?
[7:50]Well, yeah.
[7:52]And so I always felt like with tennis, I was very mentally strong.
[7:57]So a lot of times I was winning matches that I wasn't supposed to win.
[8:01]And then my friends would come back to me and they're like, well, how did you believe that?
[8:06]And I was like, I don't know.
[8:07]I got into my Zen place.
[8:09]I kind of let go.
[8:11]But I also, you know, kind of thought more on the court and took some risks when I could do it,
[8:19]you know?
[8:20]I'm still like processing your tennis's geometry because that would probably
[8:25]make my tennis a lot better is if I thought about it in terms of lines and angles and
[8:30]and all of that is supposed to all the things I need to do with each stroke with my body just
[8:34]to get the ball in the right place today.
[8:37]I'm more like, okay, bend your knees, look down, you know, like right, you know,
[8:42]right, anyway, it doesn't matter.
[8:46]But my aim is probably not like yours, which seems to be amazing.
[8:50]So I apply it especially in doubles, you know, like, yeah, because in doubles is just even more
[8:57]critical.
[8:57]But even in singles because I play a lot against my husband and he's like, see, you're always
[9:02]too better when you go closer to the line.
[9:05]But then I say, yeah, but see, I missed like three, four balls and you beat me.
[9:13]Wow.
[9:14]And you also are a poet among other things.
[9:18]And I just wanted to read you sent me two links to different pieces, including sunrise,
[9:23]streaks, so leading the day prose poem, which is beautiful.
[9:26]And what you do that's so unique also in your collections is pair photos with poems
[9:31]because there is there is poetry in photos, to be honest.
[9:35]Can I just read this one?
[9:36]Yes, please.
[9:37]Okay, yes.
[9:38]My reaction to a beautiful sunrise piles up s words as neatly as a stack of pancakes
[9:44]oozing with maple syrup.
[9:46]The sun strips strides, surmounts, and surveys the world in streaks of honey.
[9:52]As soon as I noticed the solicitous sun, I salute the day by smiling and surrendering to
[9:58]its sun rays that bathe.
[10:00]my soul and renew my being. Today it was no exception, although I found myself peeking around
[10:05]the edges of the sun that peeled off its rays. Stickers of light and longing. The gray cloud
[10:12]circled and cuddled the sun, like an egg-holder cup, as if afraid to let the colors converge
[10:18]with the dark clouds floating around the sky after the heavy winter overnight rain. After I
[10:23]stood there, taking a few pictures of the sunrise, my breathing and heart slowing down,
[10:28]the sun started to look like a firm egg yolk. I almost felt tempted to dip small bread pieces
[10:34]into it until I remembered that I had to continue my run, but only after I kept squinting at the
[10:39]sun, and the sun squinted back at me silently and solemnly in its full splendor.
[10:46]Oh, that is absolutely beautiful. So beautiful. Yes, thank you. And your reading was beautiful.
[10:54]You can just like take me on the road, you know, whatever I can do.
[10:59]So when did your poetic side come out and how long have you been doing that?
[11:04]Yes, it's very interesting, Zibi. I always wrote, ever since I was about 10 years old, but I really
[11:11]became a poet after I became a runner. It's just really interesting. I was running and my stride,
[11:19]my breath. You know, I felt inspired, like with every step I was taking, like rhymes or lines
[11:27]with popping to my head, and then I would rush back home to write them down. And as a matter of fact,
[11:33]I in the morsels of love, I'll just read this poetry became motion together with my running.
[11:39]So that's why I said one of my poems is called poetry in motion. When I first became a runner,
[11:45]I discovered dancing words that floated freely in my mind and filled my soul with serenity.
[11:53]When I first started to pile up my poems, heaps of hope, I would run in nature where my thoughts
[11:59]were nurturing. So it was just like really interesting. You know, every time I was going out,
[12:04]I was like experiencing different things. I was a new runner. I was learning about running,
[12:10]and I was also learning to become a poet, you know? And literally the first collection
[12:16]it took me three years because I would just be like, oh, when I run, I'm going to write another poem,
[12:22]you know? And I wasn't as disciplined as I needed to be about the writing. Now I am much,
[12:29]much better because the second collection it took me from three years. I got it done in three
[12:35]months. And that was because I had the discipline and the excitement to write for medium. I was
[12:42]publishing daily. And at the end of it, I was like, I didn't work enough on my memoir this year,
[12:49]but wait a minute. I have another collection of poetry. Let's go with this for this year.
[12:56]Oh my gosh. Wait, tell me about your memoir. Yes. So my memoir has been a work in progress because
[13:04]it was my thesis for my master's degree in English. And I put it aside after I graduated because
[13:11]I wasn't happy with it, you know? And then I did so many other things. But like last year I picked
[13:18]it up and I changed the direction completely. I basically focused on growing up in Romania doing
[13:24]communism. And I also fought in the Romanian revolution when I was 16. You know, I was down
[13:31]there in the streets with my dad. And but basically I'm focusing on the lessons that I learned
[13:38]and that there was sunshine coming through the cracks all the time. And there was so much that I
[13:45]learned and that made me the resilient person that I am. And I look back and I'm like, you know,
[13:51]that wasn't as bad, especially because I was pretty lucky. I didn't have to, you know, worry about
[13:57]other things that other people, you know, went through like some people went to jail. You know,
[14:04]it was intense. But like I said, I learned so many lessons and I want to impart that. So every
[14:10]chapter will have like, you know, some lessons that I learned them, you know, like swimming against
[14:16]the current, you know? Can we go back to fighting in the streets of revolutions? I'm 16. I mean,
[14:26]oh my gosh, I was like showing up at parties and that's 16. Like, what was I doing? Tell me about
[14:31]that. What on earth? Like, what did that look like? Did you have a gun? Like, just what was that?
[14:36]Well, tell me about that. No, no, no, God. So basically what happened is, you know, the revolution
[14:42]started it. And I had just left Timi Shora, which is a big university talent. That's where the
[14:48]revolution started. I had just left it to go back home because winter break was coming. I was at the
[14:55]no, I was in high school. And so I got home and my dad and I, we were listening to the radio
[15:01]and they were saying the revolution started in Romania, you know? Like the free Euro radio station
[15:07]because we couldn't get real news in Romania, you know? And I told my dad, we need to go in the streets,
[15:13]we need to go fight for freedom. And he's like, well, but they're shooting at people and,
[15:18]you know, we could risk our lives. And I said, I don't care. We need to fight for freedom. We need to go,
[15:23]you know? And my dad says, okay, we're going. And my mom says, I can lose my job, you guys,
[15:29]with the communists, if they know you're in the streets and we're like, don't worry, mom,
[15:34]we need freedom, you know? And so we went for like three days in a row. Luckily, I lived in a very
[15:41]small talent, you know? And so they weren't shooting at us. They were only shooting in big
[15:48]talents and, you know, it was more intense there. But it was just an experience to be surrounded
[15:53]by thousands of people who wanted freedom, you know, who wanted the change in our country. And so
[16:02]yes, it's really seared into my memory and I'm glad I got to do this with my dad, you know?
[16:09]I feel like you should read, there's a new book out. It's called A Life in Light by Mary Pfeiffer,
[16:16]meditations on impermanence. And it's, I feel like there's so much in your writing about light
[16:20]and the effect of light and her whole thing, that's her whole theme through it's really a memoir,
[16:26]but it's told through light. I don't know. I think you would really appreciate this. I feel like
[16:30]you're on the same page as her in the way you literally see the world and, you know, that image,
[16:36]not only in your poem, but even just saying that you could see the sunlight through the cracks.
[16:42]I mean, that's, it's beautiful imagery. And I don't know. I find it very complementary. So I bet
[16:46]you'll like it. I will definitely read it. Then last week I finished reading Your Memoir,
[16:51]which I really enjoyed. Oh, yes. Thank you. Very nice of you. It is crazy talking to people who
[16:59]read my book, who are also writers. It's really neat. This is very, very neat to read each other's
[17:04]work in. That's very cool. So you seem to have no trouble setting goals and accomplishing them.
[17:11]You decide to pick up tennis and you become a masterful competitor. You decide to run
[17:17]marathons and now just like up and run 60 miles a week. You decide to write poetry collections and
[17:23]whip them up as you're going. Memoir, short story. You're also a super real estate broker. I mean,
[17:30]you have like so many things. What do you think it is about you? Or what are the secrets to just
[17:36]saying you're like setting intentions and just going after them and achieving them? Like,
[17:42]it seems like that comes very easily to you. That's a really great question, ZB. And I was on
[17:49]another podcast and I told this story. I always put the fun first into my calendar, okay? And I
[17:58]learned that when I first became a real estate broker because the broker at the time, now I am the
[18:04]broker, he said, you could work 24 hours in this business. If you're not careful, you're going to burn
[18:09]out and it's the same for us writers. If we're not careful, we're going to burn out, right? And so
[18:16]he said, make sure you put your fun into the calendar first, like you pencil it in, literally.
[18:22]So I'm really, really good also about making sure that I balance everything, you know, that I
[18:28]balance the play with the work. And once I get something into my mind, like this year, for instance,
[18:35]in the summer, my daughter and I started a podcast. That's right. I meant to mention that. Yes.
[18:42]It's called Seeds of Sunshine, a Mother Daughter podcast that we already interviewed authors and
[18:48]of course another on Olympic runner. But I just go with if I said something and if I say that I'm
[18:56]doing something, I'm not one of those people who just talks about dreams and goals. I like to take
[19:03]action. And it's probably also because when I grew up in communism, our teachers were very blunt
[19:08]to us. They would say, kind of this is great, but this is not at your level. Can you go and do it
[19:15]better? You know, like it would be like straight in your face, like, you know, you can do much better
[19:21]or like straight, I'm disappointed in you. So you learn to be tough and to think that, okay,
[19:31]how can I do this better? And if I say something, how can I actually do it? You know, by
[19:38]basically sitting down in our chair and writing or lacing up options and going, but sometimes I have
[19:44]to plan carefully, you know, and I am lucky that my job is very flexible. So I think that's my
[19:50]advantage, you know. And so when I say, I always say, I played a lot this morning and during the day
[19:57]and I had lunch with the friends, so I'm going to work.
[20:00]you'll midnight, you know, so something has to get right.
[20:06]Interesting. I like the idea of putting joy and fun and play on the calendar.
[20:12]I feel like that's the first thing to go and certainly never sees the light of day on my own calendar.
[20:17]Not that there's that much white space, but I feel like any day where I actually take the time
[20:22]to do something out of the ordinary, like this weekend we went and did all these fun things.
[20:27]And I feel like I'm starting totally refreshed as if I've like peeled off a layer of,
[20:33]I don't know what, like, I don't know if cobwebs or something.
[20:37]Not cobwebs, it's almost like I'm in like a, like a plaster cast and I have to start by
[20:43]peeling off each layer. And the more fun you have, the more you can like get back to who you even are
[20:47]underneath. That sounds ridiculous, but it made sense.
[20:50]I said, it's exactly how I feel and I also feel more creative. Like when you start fighting,
[20:56]you have different images and ideas and you're like riding so freely and with more joy, I feel.
[21:03]Yes. So true. So top three ways that you have fun. What are your top three go to is for fun?
[21:11]Well, obviously running. So it's running. It's spending time with our kids, their teenagers, you know,
[21:20]and like yesterday they dragged me to the mall, but it was just so nice to see them and they were
[21:26]explaining to me about the new shoes and they're like, mom, you don't just do with these shoes,
[21:31]like you do with your running shoes. I was trying to feel the soul of the shoe and love it.
[21:37]And they're like, mom, you don't do that. And I'm like, well, what's the big deal?
[21:42]You know, and just obviously being with them, you know, playing tennis with my husband is a lot
[21:47]of fun, even though he just demolishes me. But it's fun because we both have an unconventional
[21:55]tennis game. We do a lot of slices, you know, and all tricky shots. And if I play with him and
[22:03]then I play with my women friends, it feels easy because he makes me work so hard, right?
[22:11]And we love to travel as a family. We spent three weeks in Europe this summer in Spain and Portugal.
[22:17]And I just, if I could travel my entire life, that's what I'm trying to do for fun.
[22:24]Interesting. I feel like everybody's talking about Portugal. I don't know what it is at this.
[22:30]I don't know what's going on. Maybe the Portugal tourism trade board stepped up or something,
[22:35]but I just feel like everybody's going to Portugal. I don't know.
[22:39]Yes. I was just on a call with someone in Lisbon. And I don't know. Now I'm like very eager to go.
[22:44]I've never been. So yes, you will like it. And we really, really liked Spain as well,
[22:49]of the Andalusia region. Yeah. Okay. So next up for you, you're going to finish your book,
[22:58]finish your memoir and what else? Well, finish the memoir. And I also should plan on writing the novel.
[23:08]You know, it's just, it's a different kind of genre, but I feel like I would want to do that,
[23:17]you know, sounds good. Yeah. Okay. Last question advice for aspiring authors.
[23:24]Yes, absolutely. So I recently read an article and I think if we all did that, we really would
[23:32]write, you know, more consistently. This author said that the best thing to do is to read for 30 minutes,
[23:39]he calls it the 30 30 rule. You read for 30 minutes and then you write for 30 minutes.
[23:45]And and what you read is also important. You want to read something that will actually
[23:52]is deeper or matches what you're writing because it will inspire us to think and write with
[23:58]revelatory depth and beauty, you know, like if that's the kind of writing you like to do. But
[24:04]basically, I want to start trying that because I usually read late at night. I have my own book club.
[24:12]And I feel like at night, it's easier to read than in the morning. If I want to write in the
[24:18]morning, but I think the 30 30 rule where you actually sit down and reach something that inspires
[24:25]you and then writing will make things flow, you know, yeah, that's nice. I've never heard that
[24:31]and I love it. Very cool. And I also, I used to read more than, you know, 100 books and mainly the
[24:39]classics back in Romania. And we were taught to underline to always read with the pencil in your hand.
[24:46]So I think it's very powerful when you actually read and engage with the text on a different
[24:52]level. And you you mark things down or you take notes like I usually my bookmark is a blank page,
[24:59]you know, a blank page so that I can write my notes as I read. Like I even made notes reading
[25:05]your memoir. I actually made it on my iPhone so that I share with a friend, you know. And so that way
[25:11]it kind of shrinkage with the text at a different level and a different depth, you know.
[25:18]Oh, thank you for doing that. And thank you. Thank you for everything. Thanks for coming on and
[25:24]being so prepared and just amazing. And thanks for your patience. So oh, thank you so much,
[25:30]CB. I'm deeply honored and I'm very happy we got to do this because I know we don't get to have
[25:34]a lot of poets. So thank you for opening, opening up your heart and your podcast to me.
[25:41]No problem. To join. Okay. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.
[25:47]Thanks for listening to this episode of Moms Don't Have Time to Read Books. Don't forget to
[25:51]follow me on Instagram at ZB Owens and at Moms Don't Have Time to Read Books. Also sign up for my
[25:56]newsletter at ZB Owens.com and sign up for my virtual book club and meet lots of authors on Zoom
[26:02]every other week. Thanks so much to Steve and Ryan at Texture Sound for the Sound Editing.
[26:06]And thank you to Morning Moon Productions for providing this fantastic intro and outro music.