Ralph Macchio, WAXING ON: The Karate Kid and Me
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[1:15]I interviewed Ralph Machio
[1:18]His book is called waxing on the karate kid in me for any other child of the 80s like me
[1:24]You will probably be equally excited. Although now of course he has this major resurgence
[1:28]Alright, let me read his bio an actor a producer director with an extensive list of credits Ralph Machio is best known
[1:34]For his celebrated performance as Johnny in Francis Ford Co. is the outsiders
[1:38]The hit film my cousin Vinny and most notably for the title role in the popular classic the karate kid and its
[1:44]successors
[1:45]Expanding further on the karate kid universe Ralph continues to reprise his iconic role of Daniel Larusso in the hit netflix series
[1:53]Cobra Kai he lives online island with his family enjoy
[1:57]Okay, welcome Ralph. Thank you so much for coming on momstone. Have time to read books to discuss waxing on the karate kid at me
[2:04]Thank you great to be here and I appreciate the time. Oh my gosh as a child of the 80s
[2:09]I'm 46 site. I have everything you went through in this book
[2:13]I was like yes that yes the 1986 meds like yes movie yes everything so thank you for it for the flashback there
[2:22]Well, it's you know, it's I felt it was it was so timely to kind of
[2:27]Tell a story that only I could tell which is what it was like from the incarnation of getting
[2:34]The call to audition for this little movie with the silly title and
[2:39]Where it's taking me up until today and it's still evolving. It's really you know what I've learned from it
[2:46]I've gained from it things I would have
[2:48]You know, maybe done over but never never looked down upon and yet
[2:55]And then a little of the untold behind the scenes the making ofs and all that stuff. So I'm excited
[3:01]I'm excited for people
[3:03]Hopefully, you know go out and then read it. Yes, Daniel with it out didn't even know that wasn't part of the
[3:10]Throwaway
[3:11]Yeah, I was like how come she gets alive, you know, it's it it's interesting when you you talk about
[3:16]Ally with an eye Daniel with an L and I tell that story of the audition with Elizabeth shoe and the great director John
[3:23]Apple send me directed the original karate kid films and and rocky to name another little one that still stands
[3:30]I've heard of it, you know, you know, he he created he wanted to create a comfort and I was so nervous
[3:36]You know not first auditioning for the movie, but auditioning with the the love interest
[3:42]It was all new for me, you know, so I was trying to be like a guy
[3:46]many girlfriends and
[3:49]What in my little false bravado east coast cocky-niz and that became part of
[3:54]Daniel Russo his sweetness is always there. But he had this, you know, and so that Daniel with an L ad lib as small as it is
[4:03]was part of the
[4:05]exploration of you know nuance of character and I credit John with that and obviously
[4:12]you know Lisa shoe and and then it's one small little story. Well after you mentioned in the book the YouTube
[4:19]Test reels. I had to go back and watch those too
[4:22]Yeah, I was good. It's like a visual aid that you get with a hard copy. Yeah
[4:26]I watched and my kids are like what's wrong? It's so grainy and I'm like no, this is from the 80s
[4:31]I think it was like a whole movie basically. It's out. It was. They're big J&C camera
[4:37]He would always have his camera like this and no matter what we did
[4:40]You know, he was always videotaping the experience the exploration of of just
[4:47]You know existing and that's that's a great filmmaker, you know
[4:50]That's why I mean you have these characters that still
[4:53]Resonate all around the world. It's really quite remarkable
[4:58]You know, I found it really interesting
[4:59]You talk of course about the fame and what it was like in the backseat of the movie and even watching the premiere coming out
[5:05]And all of a sudden you were like overnight celebrity even though you had obviously been the outside of everything
[5:09]And that I kind of expected like I was totally interested
[5:13]I wanted to know what it was like
[5:14]But what I didn't expect was the parts when you were talking about trying to sort of find your footing after
[5:22]That period of time and trying to find your way into new roles and how you felt like you were so typecast and like
[5:28]You know, how could you get around being the the karate kid and actually find new roles and what that felt like to you in that time
[5:34]Can you talk a little bit more about that? Yeah, that's I mean
[5:38]Yeah, the the book is sort of broken up into not by
[5:41]Partially by design, but it works out that the the first third is really about
[5:46]Getting the part and the making of the movie and behind the scenes untold stories of how
[5:53]This happened how did we catch that fly with chopsticks and it
[5:57]But it wasn't and some of what I was feeling and all the experience of that in a second
[6:03]Act is if you will as after the crane takes flight after that summer of 84
[6:09]you know the success and then they sort of
[6:12]The ebbs and flows of it all and the dry times of the lean years and then the last third is kind of the lessons of the experience
[6:21]But yeah, those you know that late and you know after my cousin Vinny
[6:26]I mean, I started feeling it before then, but it certainly after my cousin Vinny
[6:30]Things kind of dried out and even getting the part in my cousin Vinny and I write to this was not easy
[6:35]The studio didn't want me. I was off the list
[6:37]A talent guy from New York Joe Pesci's cousin. Nah, he's not right
[6:42]Like do I might be right?
[6:45]But I was that was the you know that was I've started feeling that even before that point and so
[6:52]You know, they was frustrating
[6:53]It was challenging and looking young for my age
[6:56]I talk about that too that frozen in time element that is
[7:00]that is
[7:01]essence of
[7:02]Of me, you know being tied to this role and and then looking young for my age
[7:08]So I had a double as sword trying to
[7:11]You know navigate to the next chapter if you will pun intended
[7:15]You know it was hard at times that it was challenging to
[7:18]To make sense of it. I understood it
[7:22]So it wasn't challenging to make sense of it because I did understand it
[7:25]But you still you still want to be able to control your own destiny there
[7:29]And you as an act you you really
[7:33]Unless you're creating it yourself. It's very hard to to control that so
[7:39]I needed to learn and being someone who likes to
[7:42]Control things and needs to release my grip. I'm still I'm still working on that today
[7:47]It became about okay. How could I fulfill myself creatively?
[7:51]How could I provide for my family?
[7:53]How could I do all these things and still not get swept sucked under you know
[7:58]I never
[8:00]Went down the path where I fell down the slippery slope
[8:03]Those are most memoirs are about that the crash and burn and how did I climb out and the
[8:09]Redemption story
[8:11]I joke that I am the anti-e true Hollywood story. I've been 45 years my kids are
[8:17]Awesome. We all have our
[8:19]things we're in normal, you know
[8:21]We have our challenges and and arguments and and such but we navigate through it and and the foundation is strong
[8:30]You know, so the orgasm the roots are strongly about the tree grow
[8:34]So that's the book has that knit too because it's so to answer your question. It was
[8:40]You know, I've been
[8:42]Gifted the blessing of this this role not to mention my entire career that has now become so relevant
[8:50]It's never gone away
[8:52]But it is at another level. That's why it just seemed the right time for this book when I walk down the street
[8:59]I have 14 12 year old kids just they're the ones running up
[9:04]You know, they see this show and then they back themselves into the movie and they watch it with their parents or their dads or their moms
[9:10]And it's kind of a legacy
[9:12]I'm so proud of and feel blessed to have been given the gift of that opportunity that
[9:18]It's quite a unique journey, but I survived the dry times by
[9:24]You know, always keeping one foot in one foot out and balancing it. There's another Miyagi
[9:29]ism, see I title
[9:32]Great
[9:35]I Robert Mark came and he deservedly credit. He wrote that new original karate kid film and those
[9:39]There's life lessons throughout the whole the whole thing that are still bearing proof to this that
[9:46]Well, I have to say kopekai is amazing as you know
[9:49]But it's so genius the way you use the old clips and you and the dynamic it's just amazing
[9:56]It's like Brit it's every show should do this if it's
[10:00]Well done. It's genius. Really. The guys who created a really their super karate kid fans. And it's the only way to do it. You have to care. Yeah. Really have to care. It's not just a cash grab. It's really how could we enhance this and keep this legacy. And every actor who comes in from the original film franchise, they just knock it out of the park. Yeah.
[10:22]Better than each other. It's really pretty. Awesome. So cool. To go back to a Miyagiism, if you will, about balance, you were saying even the crane pose. Right. It requires so much. And that's how you had to approach your own life and your family and everything. And you just said quickly as an aside. Oh, yeah, I was married 35 years, which I feel like I would like to have an entire podcast just talking about. How do you, what is the secret to that? Not only balance with like the intensity of your career and the ups and flows of that.
[10:52]But sustaining the same relationship that you've had, you were dating your wife when you went to the premiere of karate kids. You guys have been through. I mean, I can't even think, but what is the secret there? What are some of the lessons that everybody else should take back to their own marriages? Okay. And he's the amount of credit needs to go to the partner. So my, my wife, Phyllis is, you know, a big amount of credit goes to to her and being that person who can deal with that.
[11:22]You know, the fame part of it and sort of walk in lockstep and support throughout. So that takes, not everyone can do that. She's a nurse practitioner. She is a caregiver. She is a people. Please, there are people person more so way more so than I am. I'm a little more selfish, but more me, me, me, me, me. But not, not totally. But, you know, we balance each other and it's, you know, there was certainly times and days and weeks and months.
[11:53]That were more challenging than others, but it's always the I, I don't want to say I, I'm sorry, that's mine. I'm going to say I on the prize, but this I on the, the importance of the foundation of what we are as a couple when all the, when all the crap isn't there. It's the focus on, on knowing what that is.
[12:12]So knowing the minutiae and all the, the crap that's thrown at you day to day and navigating this thing called life that is so challenging and raising kids and, you know, those are biggest arguments were always about raising the kids.
[12:28]You know, you, you really, because everyone's doing that for the first time, you could have the manual and whatever you want. You're going to fail constantly. I have, she has, but at the end of it, when you clear away all the dust in the fog.
[12:41]If you believe in what that foundation is and, and what that couplehood is and what life is together that that kind of galvanizes, you know, the focus point and, and clears it up and then you open a window again and is all crap and it gets in the way.
[12:59]You know, this bothers you and that bothers you and it's, it's not easy. It's not easy, but it being blessed with the right person is a good start.
[13:08]there's the hack.
[13:10]That's the disclaimer that says, oh, I just didn't fix it for everybody.
[13:16]What did you think about putting in the book for that you're like, no, maybe that's too personal. So you kept it up.
[13:22]Good question. And any, I would say that that would be this one section where I speak about a point where I was sort of out of balance in my career and life and my marriage and family was taking stress on both.
[13:36]I could have potentially gone into explanation of what all that was and I chose not to die because that became that would become too personal and that's not the book I'm writing.
[13:48]Anyway, it's rude. I mean, it is personal to me and what I'm thinking and what I'm feeling.
[13:54]and so if I was going to give details about someone else in my life, then it would cross a line that didn't feel right for this specific book.
[14:05]Got it. That makes sense.
[14:07]If there was like a good friend of yours who read the book, do you think this is what they would say about you? Like is there anything? Is there some piece of you that is not 100% here like some part of your sense of humor or you're obviously very funny or is there anything you you feel like.
[14:24]Those who know you best don't see it represented not not a moment like I asked before, but just like a piece of you are not really.
[14:31]Yeah, I would say I would say something that I probably didn't dive deep into is that if I get to that point of overwhelm on a day, I do occasionally snap.
[14:43]I do it not in it like in an insane way, but I'm not, you know, the wind does not stop and go around me. It does affect me.
[14:53]So I don't know. There are those people that I use that analogy. That's God. It's like the wind doesn't even your hair is not even moving.
[15:02]I'm like, I can't even hang on to my hat right now. And so, so I guess if there's one thing I've come out of it sticking landing. Yeah, but sometimes I wobble on impact.
[15:16]That's good.
[15:18]So you've had the opportunity to act at every stage of your life. And now you're in a new show. You have a chance. It's like a do over. I know we don't get a do over with our kids necessarily.
[15:29]Oh, maybe the younger kids get the benefit. But that's okay. Anyway, when you're now in a new show, what are you taking with you? Like are you calmer in general about it or do you feel like the years and all of the past experience of made you even better at this character like now coming back to it.
[15:46]What does it look like? Or is it the same?
[15:49]No, it's a good question because it's actually the pressure of, oh, the responsibility. I don't even say pressure. The responsibility of a character is young Daniel Aruso character who's represented a piece of people's childhood, pop culture, you know, impactful inspirational character.
[16:09]There was a, you know, a responsibility that I needed to deliver on where that character would have wound up and not always was that in the script of Cobra Kai. We would debate at times with the creators of the show who are brilliant and care so much, but there would be times where Daniel Aruso's actions.
[16:31]And from my perspective would not support how I would have thought he would have landed, but a full canvas of Cobra Kai. The reason for that is because then it gets us to point A to point B in the story. So that's that's been, you know, it hasn't been just totally effortlessly easy.
[16:52]and conscious and conscientiously navigated. And I think at the end of it, everyone cares so much that the the best foot forward winds up working.
[17:02]You know, I mean, that's a kind of convoluted answer, but it's it required. It wasn't like, oh, good. I'm playing Daniel Aruso again. This is a piece of cake. I'll just be Daniel Aruso.
[17:11]And it's like, I have a responsibility. This character is way bigger than the actor who played the part. He's meant the world to so many people. So it was probably more pressure than I needed to put on myself for it.
[17:24]But it's because I care and I I'm protected. Well, I love even that you start the show with trying to like be generous to a former rival. Like that's just great. You know, why not?
[17:35]Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it's actually here. Take it. Just take it. So funny. So what what do you do when you're not hard at work producing shows and acting and whatever. Like what do you what do you like to do other weekends?
[17:48]I mean, this weekend, I watched some sports, you know, which was kind of nice in between a lot of these types of discussions. So sometimes not speaking and just watching what else is kind of refreshing.
[18:01]You know, I'm a sports fan. So I do enjoy, you know, my New York Jets very rarely come out of it, but had a bit come back when yesterday.
[18:10]I met's lost three in a row to Atlanta and it's not looking great. And hockey season starts. So there's sports. There's good food. Nice wine here there with the food. I really enjoy.
[18:22]I really enjoy to it tasting great wines with with different foods and so and music and listening to music, all different types.
[18:32]And watching sunsets if I'm going to go there and sometimes sunrises if I get enough sleep.
[18:38]You know, I enjoy because I still I still marvel at the fact that, you know, we're on this planet and the sun comes up and it just continues and as crazy as it all is and difficult and challenging seemingly more so than ever.
[18:54]It's nice to just, I guess, stop and smell the roses as I say. Yeah.
[18:59]I was on a plane with my kids over the weekend and I was like, is it just so crazy that like we all just accept that rain is just a part of life.
[19:07]Like, okay, today we're all going to get wet and like there's going to be water from and we're all just like, oh yeah, okay, put up the umbrella don't even think about it.
[19:14]You know, like the natural world is like so amazing in all of his ways. You just don't even stop. So yeah.
[19:21]I agree. Do you feel like the process of writing this memoir is one you would want to repeat like, do you know, are you now like, oh yeah authors I get it. I totally want to do this again.
[19:32]Well, there were some days when I was looking at the flashing cursor on my screen just saying the crane takes flight. How do I start this chapter, you know, and then all of a sudden something clicks and it does get exciting and then you find the angle in and how to, you know, tell the story and hopefully visually tell the story.
[19:52]That's the thing I tried to do as much as I could visually tell the story and make it a conversation for me and I'm hearing.
[20:00]And from folks that that's coming across.
[20:02]So I'm really, the fact that that is the case, it lends me,
[20:07]you know, it leads me to want to explore it more.
[20:10]Maybe in the world of a children's book,
[20:11]maybe in the world of a YA book to, you know, give back,
[20:15]you know, I like, when I work on Cobra Kai,
[20:18]I really enjoy working with the young actors
[20:20]because I think they're listening to me.
[20:23]And not that I have all the wisdom and anything else,
[20:25]but if there's one little piece of something I gained
[20:28]from someone I worked with,
[20:30]and I get hand off the piece of that legacy,
[20:33]that's rewarding.
[20:34]I guess that's what a teacher feels like, you know,
[20:36]when you make an impact on someone,
[20:38]you have an impact on someone.
[20:39]So I enjoy that and with writing, you know, I see, you know,
[20:43]I'll know and it's soon enough
[20:45]once the book is actually really out.
[20:47]But hopefully people buy it and, you know, embrace it
[20:52]and it's a positive thing and I'd love to, you know,
[20:56]look at other chapters.
[20:58]No, it's great because you really,
[21:01]it feels like a friend telling you the story.
[21:03]Like you're so approachable
[21:04]of the way you write it.
[21:05]It's like as if you were just as if this happened
[21:08]to anybody that like it could have just
[21:10]since easily happened and you were just
[21:11]taking this long for the right.
[21:12]Honesty was being honest and I guess you used the word humble,
[21:18]but really honesty is what I wanted to, you know,
[21:22]and the pros and the cons of my thing.
[21:26]And the humor.
[21:27]I liked the humor a lot.
[21:28]I gotta hear my self deprecation is my favorite hobby.
[21:32]It's great.
[21:35]Well, what advice would you have for people
[21:37]who either want to get into writing
[21:40]or want to get into entertainment
[21:43]and they don't know what to do?
[21:45]I mean, what's your, what's your go-to line for this type?
[21:49]I think that being creative is something you can always do.
[21:54]There's so there should be no reason not to be creative
[21:57]if you feel you have that.
[22:00]Making a living at it is a whole other story, of course.
[22:03]But you could, someone could write and, you know,
[22:07]you could create with it, with it,
[22:08]be able to reach people through your computer.
[22:11]You could write blogs.
[22:12]You could create your own content.
[22:15]And so I don't think that ever should be,
[22:18]I don't think anything should deter a person
[22:20]who wants to express themselves.
[22:23]You know, there is that point.
[22:25]If you have two kids and your mortgage is that
[22:27]and you can't make a living at it,
[22:28]that you might have to do it on the side.
[22:30]Yeah.
[22:31]So that I can't answer that.
[22:34]But I say always be creative if it's in your bones
[22:37]that if you have something to say, you know,
[22:40]it doesn't make any sense to stifle it.
[22:42]Unless it's obviously something detrimental
[22:44]or negative to mankind.
[22:46]And so that would not be good.
[22:48]That would not be good.
[22:49]Thank you for that.
[22:50]Yeah.
[22:51]Last question, book publicity, movie publicity.
[22:55]Preference.
[22:56]I'm learning.
[22:56]I'm learning.
[22:57]It is different.
[22:58]It is different because there are more deeper dives
[23:01]into like, you know, speaking with you.
[23:04]And it's not your six minutes on a news show to say,
[23:07]hey, here's a clip, check it out.
[23:09]You know, so there's an up and down side
[23:12]to here's a clip, check it out.
[23:14]The upside is you're in and out quick.
[23:16]And the downside is you're not really getting the story.
[23:19]And so if you want someone to invest the time
[23:24]and expense to read your book or listen to the audiobook
[23:28]or whatever, I think it benefits to get to know
[23:33]a little bit more and feel that you're looking to further
[23:38]that conversation as opposed to just click on it
[23:41]and drop your $20 or $30 or whatever it is.
[23:45]So I get it.
[23:46]Well, on that note, I have to do a pre-interview
[23:50]for Jimmy Fallon.
[23:52]So now I have to put on that hat.
[23:54]All right, that's a much, that's a much swag your hat.
[23:56]So you guys are giving me more than six minutes
[23:59]of your time.
[23:59]I appreciate it.
[24:00]And all it all counts.
[24:02]I appreciate it.
[24:04]No problem.
[24:04]Congratulations.
[24:05]That's great.
[24:06]OK, take care.
[24:07]OK, bye-bye.
[24:09]Thanks for listening to this episode of Moms Don't
[24:11]Have Time to Read Books.
[24:13]Don't forget to follow me on Instagram at zebiowens
[24:16]and at Moms Don't Have Time to Read Books.
[24:18]Also sign up for my newsletter at zebiowens.com
[24:20]and sign up for my virtual book club
[24:22]and meet lots of authors on Zoom every other week.
[24:24]Thanks so much to Steve and Ryan in fact,
[24:26]texture sound for the sound editing.
[24:28]And thank you to Morning Moon Productions
[24:30]for providing this fantastic intro and out trim music.