Amber Tamblyn, LISTENING IN THE DARK: Women Reclaiming the Power of Intuition
[0:02]Hi, I'm Zivi Owens, the creator and host of the award-winning podcast that you're listening to right now.
[0:07]Thank you so much. Called moms don't have time to read books.
[0:10]It is a daily podcast, 365 days a year, and each day we talk to an author about all of the things related to their career,
[0:18]their book, their life, and more in 30 minutes or less because who has time?
[0:22]I am now an author myself, although I wasn't when I started this podcast, and you can get my new memoir,
[0:28]bookends, a memoir of love, loss, and literature, wherever books are sold starting July 1st, and my children's book prints is charming.
[0:36]You can learn more about me at Zivi Owens.com, but really you're here to learn more about the authors, and that is what we're going to do.
[0:43]Also be sure to check out all the other podcasts in the Zcast podcast network.
[0:48]You can learn more at zcastnetwork.com and definitely check out those shows as well.
[0:59]I hope you'll all check out the all-new Zivi bag, Z-I-B-B-Y-M-A-G, the literary lifestyle destination with essays, book news,
[1:08]a lit lifestyle feature, and even some classes. Check it out, zivibag.com.
[1:14]Amber Tamplin is the author of Listening in the Dark, Women Reclaiming the Power of Intuition.
[1:19]This is one of the episodes hosted by one of my three amazing guest hosts this fall, Allison Potaki, who is herself a best-selling author.
[1:26]Amber Tamplin, who has been on this podcast before, is now back, and she is an author, actor, and director.
[1:33]She's been nominated for an Emmy, Golden Globe, an independent spirit award for her work and television and film.
[1:38]She's the author of three books, Poetry, including the critically acclaimed best-seller, dark sparkler, and a novel, Any Man, as well as a contributing writer for The New York Times.
[1:47]She lives in New York.
[1:48]Hello, everybody. Welcome. I am Allison Potaki, and I am here today with Amber Tamplin, award-winning author, actor, activist, director.
[1:59]The list goes on and Amber, welcome.
[2:01]Thank you so much for having me.
[2:03]Oh, it's such a pleasure. So Amber is here to discuss her fabulous new book, Listening in the Dark, Women Reclaiming the Power of Intuition.
[2:13]Amber, can you please tell us how and why you wrote this important book?
[2:18]Oh, where to begin?
[2:20]I've been thinking about this book for a long time, the subject matter of it, and thinking about what intuition means, and not just the meaning of it, but the practical application of it in our everyday lives as women.
[2:35]I think we assume that the intuition is sort of this like woo-woo mysticism, witchy thing, and it's not really attainable.
[2:45]And that's because of, as I explore in the book, Generations Upon Generations, literally hundreds of years of oppression towards the subject with women believing that rational thought is the only kind of important, intellect, and that emotional thought, and intuitive thought has nothing to do with that.
[3:02]When the truth is, is that it's extremely valuable and useful as a practical tool.
[3:07]So, Listening in the Dark is an anthology that I put together of women across industries, women from Amy Poehler to S.A.S. Samantha Irby to the New Yorker's G.A. Tolentino, Congresswoman Ayanna Presley,
[3:21]Uma Abedine, we got him all, my mom, my mom, your mom, she is.
[3:25]And all these women write about their relationship with their intuitive process.
[3:30]Now, this doesn't mean like that they are talking about how great they are and how they are, you know, have their intuition nailed down and they've got it all figured out and they shoot from the hip.
[3:41]If anything, it's more of an examination of looking at how they came into the process, how they learned to harness it and use it through trial and error.
[3:52]And then I have a bunch of essays throughout the book that sort of give context to the overall themes that are talked about.
[3:59]And they also share things that are personal to me with my own experience with intuition, including, you know, childhood trauma growing up as a child actress in Hollywood and sort of growing up as an object and an impressive industry in that way, all the way to, you know, our dreams, what they can mean, as far as intuition, what they can tell us about our conscious,
[4:22]waking life. And then there is like a deep dive into the oppression, the history of women's oppressed intuition.
[4:28]So there's a lot going on and then the book ends with a practical guide that sort of walks you through how to find your own.
[4:35]Exactly. There is so much going on and so many different voices here. How did you put together this powerhouse list? As you said, you have actors, you have politicians, you have emergency room doctors, poets.
[4:46]So how did you compile this lineup and how was it working as an editor but also a writer?
[4:53]So I think for me putting this book together was a real labor of love.
[4:58]As I mentioned that there have been so many books out there. I've written some of them that are about women's movements and equality and rage and feminism and all of these different sort of pieces of to me, a larger systemic
[5:14]systemic problem of the puzzle, which is our othering as women from our intuitive process, from our unique understanding of what our body and our gut and our mind combined tells us and the ability to actually listen to that.
[5:32]To me, I thought the best way to translate that and to really reach readers was to have a diverse body of writers and contributors people with very, very different backgrounds, different socio economical backgrounds, different races, ethnicities and to have this feel like it was a fully formed idea about all the different ways in which intuition manifests.
[5:53]I knew many of the people who were in the book, but then there were several other ones like Jessica Valenti who's brilliant feminist writer knew I reach out to and connected with and they were, you know, she was extremely excited to be a part of it, as was sort of everyone else.
[6:07]And that sort of where it came about was this idea of having a chorus of voices speaking about this, this very, very important topic which feels so timely right now in this culture.
[6:18]And did you get everyone you wanted that's a great question have been a thousand pages right you could have had probably honestly it was quite my editor Laura was like we have to stop asking because everyone's saying yes to you.
[6:30]Yeah that's exactly right I mean, some people who I would have loved to have in this book would have been probably like and Carson Mary Beard there were a few but then it's like you start to go into the on say.
[6:46]Yeah, can she like be in everything that I do talk about the Beyoncé chakra, which will get to in a minute.
[6:53]That's right that's right.
[6:55]So then that's your sequel you'll have all those women when when the sequel comes out right yes yes i'll have all of those women when the sequel comes out will see maybe they'll be like a whole other book about the same subject.
[7:07]So you talk about how really from the age of you know girlhood childhood and you talk about yourself specifically but a lot of your writers also touch on this we're sort of conditioned as young girls.
[7:20]to lean toward rational thought but also just to cut ties with our intuition because we want to be polite or we want to sort of fit into the expectations that others or that you know society might have for us and so then there's this severing that sort of has to happen with that inner voice can you talk a little bit about you know how that sort of.
[7:42]Play it out for you and some of your other writers and just sort of how as women we can sort of unravel that conditioning that's going on.
[7:50]That's a great question you know such an interesting experience because as much as I was like I've got this great idea for a book I've been I've been thinking about it for years wanting to approach it then asking all the writers.
[8:02]Everyone who said yes you know then we're starting to write and I think almost everybody except for a few women we're like what the fuck am I going to write.
[8:12]You know, I think there was a real sense of panic of like oh how do I describe it you know because I really asked them to go to try to go a layer deeper than just talking about terms we understand.
[8:25]That don't have a real definitive meaning for instance and inner voice of feeling in your gut those types of things.
[8:34]I mean we understand them but then how do we trace the steps you know if you're going to make a decision about a job if you're going to make a decision to end the marriage.
[8:43]If you're going to make a big life decision that a personal or professional decision what are the steps that you take to get there.
[8:50]And to me I really wanted them to go through that process and talk about the way your brain goes back and forth because fight or flight and you might be terrified of what that answer might be it might be something that might.
[9:02]You know, uproot your entire livelihood and and the stability of a family of the stability of a life these are not easy questions to answer for yourself and sometimes the answer that you arrive at is really difficult.
[9:17]So to me I wanted to be able to have them and that was part of our beautiful reciprocity as editor and writer is I would sort of go through with them and ask them to like can you expand further here when you're talking about this feeling.
[9:32]Can you talk about what you did with the feeling where it went what it led to maybe it wasn't the right thing that it led to maybe it was.
[9:39]But really sort of saying like how do we go through practically so that you know my great hope is that this book will help younger generations of women.
[9:50]So teenage girls women in their 20s so that they don't have to go through what a lot of us went through with years and years and years of second guessing ourselves.
[10:00]So that is my, that is my great hope for this book.
[10:03]And I wanted to show that like these powerful women,
[10:06]these women that you love, that you idolize,
[10:09]that you think are like the most incredible women
[10:12]because they are doctors, healers, actors, writers,
[10:16]politicians, they have also second guess themselves,
[10:19]their whole lives.
[10:19]They have also had to go through a process to get here.
[10:22]And so hopefully through their essays
[10:24]and the pieces that I add to it,
[10:26]you will feel a little less alone in your own process
[10:28]to try to harness your intuition.
[10:30]Yeah, you and America, Ferrera,
[10:32]have this amazing exchange in this book.
[10:35]And you and America have worked together, obviously,
[10:38]in films, but also you just have this really incredible
[10:41]friendship and this bond, right?
[10:43]And so you talk just as you said,
[10:45]like this is just us sitting at a table,
[10:47]having a conversation and you write it all down
[10:50]for the reader.
[10:51]And one of the things you and America talk about
[10:54]is flexing your intuitive muscle
[10:57]and how you've both really worked through that
[11:01]as not only as child actors coming up in the industry,
[11:05]but now as leaders and activists and writers,
[11:08]how do women learn or practice flexing their intuitive muscle?
[11:12]It is so hard, it is not easy,
[11:15]but I think if we see it like a valley of peaks
[11:20]that we go over and each one gets smaller and smaller.
[11:24]So maybe the first couple are really steep
[11:27]and they're really hard to get over.
[11:30]And then you come down on the other side
[11:31]and then the next one is smaller and smaller and smaller.
[11:34]And so then it doesn't become so difficult after a while,
[11:37]but I think when we're talking about flexing
[11:40]an intuitive muscle, it is that thing.
[11:42]And for women, and they talk about it in the book,
[11:45]sometimes it's like a tingling in the ear,
[11:47]sometimes it's like you get cold all over,
[11:51]sometimes you just go inward,
[11:53]sometimes it does really manifest literally
[11:56]and physically in the gut.
[11:59]But when you sense something isn't right,
[12:03]there is a fear that kicks in automatically.
[12:06]I mean, they're immediately your mind,
[12:08]it is its job to tell you, don't do that.
[12:12]That's gonna rock the whole boat.
[12:14]That's gonna be, your boss is gonna fire you
[12:18]or you're not gonna be taken seriously
[12:22]or this is gonna disrupt your entire life,
[12:27]your career, any of those different things.
[12:29]It's your brain's job to jump in
[12:32]and say, here are all the consequences
[12:34]of listening to this intuitive voice that's speaking to you,
[12:39]that's telling you something.
[12:40]And it may not, it's not like the rational mind too,
[12:43]that's why it's so complicated
[12:45]because you have the rational and the subconscious
[12:48]and the conscious mind has a voice,
[12:51]both you and I have it, everyone has it.
[12:53]We're walking down the street,
[12:54]you hear yourself talking, you know,
[12:56]you're telling yourself something.
[12:57]That voice is so strong that it sometimes outweighs
[13:02]what the body is telling you.
[13:04]And if you can connect those two things,
[13:07]it will open up a whole door,
[13:10]it will open up a whole world of possibility
[13:13]for what answers can look like in your life.
[13:16]And so part of, I think,
[13:18]flexing the muscle is asking yourself a question
[13:22]that might be difficult.
[13:24]Again, pick up topic.
[13:26]And in the end, there's an essay
[13:27]that goes through a bunch of different things,
[13:29]a bunch of different examples
[13:31]and then sit with it for a minute.
[13:33]See what your mind tells you,
[13:34]see what your body tells you.
[13:36]It might tell you something that is disruptive,
[13:38]that is scary, that makes you wanna run and go,
[13:41]no, no, we're not doing that right now.
[13:42]We're just, we're not doing that,
[13:44]life's too hard, things are too hard.
[13:45]So it's not necessarily about going with that answer,
[13:48]but it's about holding onto that
[13:50]and respecting its truth
[13:52]as something in the future you might want to use
[13:56]or, as America talks about in that essay,
[13:59]actually doing it, doing the thing that terrifies you
[14:02]as she talks so beautifully about nothing in her life
[14:06]from her personal growth to her professional success,
[14:10]nothing has come to her without trembling,
[14:13]shaking, terrifying fear first of doing it,
[14:18]of asking to produce something,
[14:20]of asking to be the first Latina director on a set
[14:24]of her show, of asking to do,
[14:26]all of these different things.
[14:28]Just as she talks about,
[14:29]she's literally crying in a trailer,
[14:31]shaking and crying, thinking, I can't do this,
[14:33]I can't do this.
[14:34]And then going through and figuring out,
[14:35]well, why not?
[14:37]What are you afraid of?
[14:38]So that muscle is so powerful
[14:42]and the more you flex it,
[14:43]the more it becomes as powerful as the mind
[14:48]and the voice in our rational thought.
[14:51]And those two things combined are a force
[14:54]that the world is not ready for in women.
[14:56]Yeah, yeah.
[14:58]You talk about too,
[14:59]it's really this haunting chapter you write
[15:02]about Brittany Murphy and how you both came up together
[15:06]and how, your memories of the last time you saw her
[15:10]and heard her speak
[15:11]and she whispered something to you and passing
[15:12]as you were both at an audition.
[15:15]It's called Crossing Paths with Ghosts.
[15:16]Can you talk about what that experience meant
[15:20]for you, sort of, you saw Brittany sort of as a foil
[15:24]or the direction that you very easily,
[15:27]your life could have unfolded or gone in that direction.
[15:29]Can you talk a little bit about sort of
[15:32]your reckoning with that and you're writing about it?
[15:34]Of course.
[15:35]So several years ago,
[15:36]I had a book come out called Dark Sparkler,
[15:38]which explored the lives and deaths of young
[15:43]and child star actresses.
[15:45]The women I kind of looked at women below the age of 40.
[15:48]It became an absolute obsession.
[15:50]It became investigative journalism.
[15:52]It became something that took me seven years to write.
[15:55]It's also something I think that sort of transformed me
[15:58]as a writer and put me on the map in a lot of different ways.
[16:01]And one of the poems in there is called Brittany Murphy
[16:04]and it was for Brittany and it was so interesting to me
[16:07]because writing this essay,
[16:09]which is also about creative process
[16:11]and about how do you get,
[16:13]how do you find the thing you're trying to say?
[16:17]And especially as a writer, as an artist,
[16:19]how do you find it and how do you let yourself go through
[16:23]the fear of writer's block and it's not coming to me
[16:27]or I've written a few things words and it's terrible.
[16:29]And how do you push past that?
[16:32]And for me so much of that,
[16:33]trying to write that poem and many of the poems
[16:36]that were in that book was about letting myself go
[16:41]through the process I needed to go through,
[16:43]which didn't look like anyone else's process.
[16:46]We can all read, as I mentioned in the book,
[16:49]Stephen King's on writing,
[16:50]or you can read books about how to be a writer,
[16:52]but the truth is, is that the best thing you can do for yourself
[16:56]as a writer and an artist is find your own unique
[17:00]intuitive process.
[17:02]And what I'm talking about when I say that is like,
[17:05]it might look, for instance, like for me,
[17:08]it might look like procrastination,
[17:10]walking around, cleaning my whole house 15 times,
[17:14]answering a million emails, going to see a movie,
[17:17]ignoring it, coming back, writing a few things.
[17:20]Maybe there's a line or a sentence that pops through
[17:23]that feels like it's worth exploring, opening up,
[17:27]sitting with it and telling my body that it's okay
[17:30]and telling my brain that it's okay,
[17:32]that it's not gonna just come tumbling out
[17:34]like some magical spell,
[17:36]because that's not how it works for everybody.
[17:38]You know, it's so funny, my late mentor,
[17:41]who the book is dedicated to, Jack Hirschman,
[17:44]used to say, you have to be a good writer,
[17:46]you have to write every day.
[17:48]And I don't think that's true.
[17:50]And that's when I knew I became a writer,
[17:53]is when I separated from him and his way of writing.
[17:57]So for me, it was about absorbing the outside world
[18:01]and letting myself go through the process
[18:03]and you get to go through in order to make that happen.
[18:06]So the essays and examination of Britney
[18:09]and looking at my life in the early arts
[18:12]and the early 2000s, when there was like a lot
[18:14]of these teen actresses and, you know,
[18:17]we were all in this in the early stages of social media
[18:20]was actually slightly pre-social media
[18:23]at a time when paparazzi felt like very dangerous,
[18:26]like literally dangerous, they were chasing people down,
[18:29]people were getting killed, like they felt dangerous
[18:32]in the world, 90s early arts, that sort of era.
[18:35]And sort of what it meant to look at someone like Britney Murphy
[18:38]who wanted to come to Hollywood to act so badly
[18:41]and succeeded in that, but then in the process
[18:43]kind of lost herself.
[18:45]So the essay is about finding myself in honor of her ghost
[18:50]and sort of keeping her ghost close to me
[18:52]as like this thing that's inside that is there as a voice
[18:57]of a reminder that life and death are important parts
[19:01]of our existential process,
[19:04]meaning like death is a good thing, not the literal death,
[19:07]but going through it, changing, going through hard questions,
[19:11]answering them and then following through,
[19:13]you know, starting over renewal,
[19:15]all of these things are so important to our processes.
[19:18]And that's sort of what that essay is about.
[19:21]Absolutely.
[19:22]What was it like switching hats between your writer side
[19:26]and your editor side?
[19:27]Like what was it like editing Amy Poehler or your mom,
[19:32]how is that?
[19:32]Did you have to sort of take them on different days
[19:35]and take them in different mental and emotional places
[19:39]for yourself?
[19:40]Oh yeah, I mean, I had to have a huge spreadsheet
[19:43]for everybody to make sure how many passes had gone through.
[19:46]Working with Amy was super fun.
[19:48]She's also just a really funny good writer.
[19:50]Her piece is about being assaulted on a street
[19:53]at this experience, which is like partial assaults.
[19:56]Like it didn't go all the way that it was supposed to,
[19:58]but sort of how it affects.
[20:00]I did the rest of her life.
[20:01]It's in typical polar fashion.
[20:04]It's extremely funny.
[20:06]It's beautiful.
[20:08]It's heartwarming, it's devastating.
[20:11]It's all of the things that she is capable of.
[20:13]And I really loved her essay.
[20:15]My mom and I had such a funny experience
[20:18]editing our piece, of course,
[20:20]because there's so much history there.
[20:21]And I think I'm always right.
[20:24]And my mom thinks she's always right.
[20:26]And that I should listen to her because she's my mom.
[20:29]You know, my mom is an extraordinary woman.
[20:31]She's been a teacher for decades.
[20:33]She teaches council and life skills in California,
[20:37]which is like a process where you get kids in schools
[20:40]to sit in circle, pass a talking piece,
[20:43]as an exercise in listening and communication,
[20:46]or especially for middle schoolers and high schoolers,
[20:49]which is like a very difficult transitional time.
[20:52]And I think for a lot of the SAS,
[20:55]a lot of the contributors,
[20:56]part of it, part of the work of the essay experience
[21:01]of writing it, was trying to make sure
[21:03]that what they were saying,
[21:04]what they understood to be true,
[21:06]was then something that was translatable to the reader.
[21:10]So meaning, oftentimes my mom would give statements
[21:14]that totally makes sense to her,
[21:16]because she's been in this world forever.
[21:18]And she has such a deep connection with her intuition.
[21:21]But I would have to say sort of like,
[21:23]okay, but imagine you are somebody who,
[21:27]you know, works in accounting at some company somewhere,
[21:30]a woman who's never ever thought,
[21:32]doesn't even know what intuition means.
[21:34]Let's even know what that word is.
[21:35]How would you explain that to her?
[21:37]So there was a lot of that,
[21:39]it was sort of like opening it up a little further,
[21:41]instead of giving terms that are understood to the author,
[21:45]trying to find a way to describe intuition
[21:48]in a really universal way.
[21:50]Yeah.
[21:51]How would you answer that question?
[21:52]For us right now to someone who may not have that sort of
[21:56]quick answer, how would you define intuition
[22:00]for the accountant who doesn't know what it is?
[22:02]I mean, it could be anybody.
[22:05]I know plenty of people too that don't have deep connections
[22:08]but are trying.
[22:09]Yeah.
[22:10]So what would my definition of intuition be?
[22:12]Yeah.
[22:13]A different kind of intelligence
[22:15]is what I would probably call it,
[22:16]because I wanna keep connecting it with the idea
[22:22]that it's not out here somewhere.
[22:24]It's not what hundreds and hundreds of years
[22:29]of the patriarchal world, which has controlled everything
[22:32]from medicine to the advent of mental health,
[22:35]to women hearing voices hundreds of years ago
[22:39]during the Salem witch trials and beyond that,
[22:42]the idea of hearing voices,
[22:44]of being called to understand something.
[22:47]It's not out here.
[22:48]It's inside you.
[22:50]It is a deep understanding and it is real.
[22:53]It is a real manifestation, a real intelligence
[22:57]that is to be used, not just something to listen to,
[23:02]not just something to have there to think about.
[23:04]It is to be used as much as we rely on knowledge
[23:09]and other forms of intelligence.
[23:12]And so to me, I think that intuition is something
[23:17]I want reframed in this world,
[23:21]in which women's autonomy, bodily or otherwise
[23:26]is being taken away from us in so many different regards.
[23:30]I want us to be reconnected with that deep understanding
[23:32]and that deep intelligence.
[23:34]And to know that it is real and it is practical
[23:38]and it is something that can be used every single day
[23:42]of our lives and will change us if we collect the muscle.
[23:46]If we collect the muscle absolutely.
[23:48]And speaking of flexing the muscle,
[23:50]what advice or wisdom would you share to aspiring writers?
[23:55]Or first time writers or lifelong writers
[23:58]who are working on their own books,
[24:02]what advice would you give?
[24:03]What would you share?
[24:04]Let the muse rest.
[24:06]That's what I would say.
[24:08]I think there's so much emphasis on
[24:11]to be a writer you must write all the time.
[24:14]And I think that is definitely true
[24:16]for a lot of people.
[24:17]That is how they come to their process.
[24:19]But I think find your unique process.
[24:23]It is the only thing you can do.
[24:26]Find the way in which you uniquely arrive to the page
[24:30]and what you uniquely have to say
[24:32]and how you uniquely say it.
[24:35]That is what sets you apart from everyone else.
[24:38]And sometimes that is reframing our mind around this idea
[24:42]of, again, writer's block or something
[24:44]or not being able to do it.
[24:46]And my other mentor, the late Wanda Coleman,
[24:50]who's a brilliant poet, would say,
[24:52]you've got to let the muse rest.
[24:54]She's in there, she's resting, she'll awaken.
[24:57]If you keep your mind on it,
[24:59]if you keep your gut on it, if you keep thinking about it
[25:02]and letting it sort of marinate in your head
[25:04]and in your body, let it grow there
[25:07]and let it trickle out a little bit at a time
[25:09]when she gets up, when she goes to sleep,
[25:12]all of those things.
[25:13]But I think that is some of the advice that I would give
[25:16]and to make sure that you are really giving the space
[25:19]for your most authentic self as an artist and a writer
[25:23]to arrive.
[25:25]And that aligns so perfectly with listening in the dark
[25:28]and following your intuition,
[25:30]following your deep inner wisdom,
[25:32]women reclaiming the power of intuition, Amber Tamplin,
[25:36]how can readers connect with you and find out?
[25:39]All the latest and greatest as you and this book
[25:42]are making your way through the world.
[25:45]I'm on Instagram at Amber Rose Tamplin.
[25:48]I also have a website, amtam.com.
[25:50]That's my mom's nickname for me.
[25:53]I'm on Twitter at Amber Tamplin,
[25:55]posting lots of really great things there,
[25:57]including behind the scenes of our tour,
[26:00]interviews with authors, ridiculous reels, why not?
[26:04]So it's a lot, I've been having so much fun promoting this book
[26:07]because it feels like something that is expansive
[26:11]and regenerative in a way that I think all of the numbness
[26:16]that we have felt and it has been so difficult,
[26:19]especially with the pandemic and everything else.
[26:21]And I just want to resensitize women
[26:24]to this really important part of our intuitive process.
[26:28]Amber Tamplin, listening in the dark,
[26:30]women reclaiming the power of intuition.
[26:33]Thank you so much for writing this book
[26:35]and thank you so much for speaking with us today.
[26:37]Always the pleasure, thank you so much.
[26:40]Thanks for listening to this episode of Moms,
[26:43]don't have time to read books.
[26:44]Don't forget to follow me on Instagram,
[26:46]at Zebioans and at Moms, don't have time to read books.
[26:49]Also sign up for my newsletter at zebioans.com
[26:52]and sign up for my virtual book club
[26:53]and meet lots of authors on Zoom every other week.
[26:56]Thanks so much to Steve and Ryan,
[26:58]at Textures Sound for the Sound Editing.
[27:00]And thank you to Morning Moon Productions
[27:02]for providing this fantastic intro and outro music.