Alyssa Rosenheck, THE NEW SOUTHERN STYLE: The Interiors of a Lifestyle and Design Movement
[0:02]Hi, I'm Sivi Owens, the creator and host of the award-winning podcast that you're listening to right now
[0:07]Thank you so much. Called moms. Don't have time to read books
[0:10]It is a daily podcast
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[1:13]A list of resin heck is the author of the new southern style the interiors of a lifestyle and design movement
[1:19]A list is a speaker a best-selling author a leader in interiors and architectural photography and an expert in helping others tap into their creative courage
[1:27]and healing
[1:28]Nationally a list has been recognized as a business leader named one of the leading interior and architectural photographers in the country
[1:35]By architectural digest and the voice of the new south and outlets like Forbes the Washington Post and style good housekeeping
[1:41]Good great and people magazine a list that has an unparalleled approach to being a purpose driven visual storyteller for her clients
[1:48]While also helping communities tap into their creative courage with her first book the new southern style
[1:53]readers get an all-axis pass into the conversations and home tours of more than 30 creative entrepreneurs
[1:59]More than 47,000 words a list is mission with this project
[2:02]It is to support the reader through life pivots inspire creative courage and encourage us all to be our own agents of changed
[2:09]Alyssa is amplifying the voices of the next generation of creatives and turning messages into movements
[2:14]I had the pleasure of meeting Alyssa in person when I was in Nashville doing an event at Parnassus for princess charming
[2:20]And we had a lovely coffee with Kyle and she is just so warm and likable and I'm excited to share her with all of you
[2:28]Welcome, Alyssa. Thank you so much for coming on mom's don't have time to read books
[2:32]Well, thank you for having me and thank you for everybody making time to listen
[2:36]So sweet so we met when did we meet you are a panelist you are we were both in a zoom or something
[2:43]And I looked up your book and I was like, oh my gosh, I have to have this book and it looks amazing
[2:47]What was that I don't even remember where we were?
[2:50]We were I chimed in with the Jewish book series you were hosting an event
[2:56]Zoom virtual event and I just fell in love with everything that you were saying and you were so approachable and
[3:03]Who are we who are you Claire? Were you interviewing? I think her name was Claire
[3:08]Okay, Gibson. Maybe maybe okay. Yeah, and yes, we're just having a really beautiful
[3:13]No, it was a book. It was a book that it was an LA author and she
[3:20]I think is a TV producer as well and she was writing about love and loss and it just was so rude
[3:26]Cool. Yeah, we know that's it. Yeah. It was a beautiful conversation really approachable really relatable. Oh my gosh
[3:33]Well, since I chimed in and I was eating powdered donuts and wearing a black shirt
[3:38]And I was mortified, but it was it was good
[3:43]No, because you're so loved by the local bookstore and
[3:47]Then I bought and I think my husband was on it too because I bought your book and then he bought your book
[3:52]Then you sent us your book and anyway
[3:54]Describe your book for everybody listening because this is gorgeous
[3:58]Coffee table book with the exact design aesthetic that like we wish every room in our house looked like basically
[4:05]Now I want you to kind of like redo our house right now. I mean, I love my house, but anyway
[4:10]It's not obviously just the design aesthetic, but so much more
[4:13]So you tell us all about it. Thank you. The new Southern is essentially it's a movement and it's grounded in community
[4:20]Where I'm showing how we are humanizing our differences through the lens of creativity and building bridges
[4:27]And I'm sharing really important conversations that take you through life pivots
[4:33]How to navigate deep curiosity and creative courage
[4:38]and for me
[4:40]Creativity is something that
[4:42]I personally can tell you that it saved it saved my life and I wrote it at the time
[4:49]Backing up a little bit. My career is at eminent tears and architectural photographer
[4:53]and I wanted to see more substance in an industry that celebrated style and it was really important for me to bring
[5:01]a new conversation to the table that I had not seen and
[5:06]In a very niche industry and so is creativity a silver bullet solution? No, but it certainly brings everybody to the table and
[5:15]It is a truth-teller and it connects us to community and
[5:19]If we pursue it in a really vulnerable and honest way
[5:23]It's also a companion to healing. How did creativity save your life? Oh my goodness
[5:29]Just answer that the rest of the time, but it's better. I know I feel like
[5:34]Right now and I my book popped in 2020 and so right now
[5:40]I still feel like creativity mothers me it roots me it
[5:45]Reminds me to be
[5:47]Really present and tethered to my moment and those are moments that are often so fleeting and lost and so
[5:55]Originally, um, I was diagnosed with cancer at 32 years old and
[6:00]Up until that point. I had been living my life
[6:05]Chasing these arbitrary levels of success going a million miles per hour
[6:09]I don't know if I was really rooted or paying attention to what was nourishing me and filling me up
[6:14]I didn't even know what that meant. I was living from a really strong place of fear a black of
[6:21]Constantly having this fear of the rug being pulled out from underneath me being fueled by the way
[6:27]I grew up in childhood and
[6:29]That's not good
[6:30]You're missing the present moment when you're making choices from past experiences
[6:36]And that's what I was doing and so when you hear you have cancer
[6:40]I had thyroid cancer. It's a very survivable form
[6:43]But we thought it had bred to my lungs briefly at the time and that's when it it really grounded me and my stillness
[6:51]And that was the first time I took time to be still and really start navigating my life and taking stock and
[6:58]Where I wanted to go what I wanted my life to look like and essentially I had to break my old life and rebuild something more beautiful for myself
[7:08]And so what did that look like tell me about that and also wait go back to the moment where you thought it had spread to your lungs
[7:14]And then you found that it had it where tell me about that and who was around you and what that was like
[7:20]I was at the kitchen table with my husband. My his name is Ben and he is my best friend and
[7:26]He's in healthcare. He's ahead in that cancer surgeon and he actually diagnosed me and we met at a bar
[7:31]We did not meet during this journey and we were at the kitchen table and we were looking at scans and we both had this moment
[7:38]I've been nine tumors and my lungs and we briefly had this moment of
[7:44]Oh my goodness, and I started weeping in his arms and
[7:49]Saying how I wanted him to get remarried and I know it's still it's still I still get so emotional about it because
[8:00]You know life's about
[8:02]Connection and it's about those
[8:05]Pure moments that aren't on social media and art
[8:09]You know in this external world and it's about love and who you bond with and
[8:15]He was my greatest supporter during that journey
[8:18]Oh
[8:20]No, but it it honestly was such a gift that gave me so much more than it took away because it woke me up and at that time
[8:28]I really started to
[8:30]To heal from the inside out instead of having this external world tell me what I needed and I picked up a camera
[8:39]And it was a healing catharsis during this period in my life and it
[8:44]It felt like a form of prayer for the first time it felt like I was
[8:48]In a moving meditation. It brought me stillness. It brought me peace and it connected me to parts that I thought
[8:55]Were forever lost and I rediscovered parts of myself that I never even knew existed
[9:01]And so it was such a key to building a new life that had color and
[9:07]fulfillment and connection deep connection
[9:11]Wait and go back to the amazing moment. I realized that the two
[9:16]Let's just like finish this out. I literally was he was holding me and I was
[9:22]crying hysterically and I feel like it was the first point
[9:26]Through the cancer journey hosts surgery finally getting cleared
[9:32]That I
[9:33]Recognized that I actually had cancer. I initially treated it like a common cold. I was like okay fine
[9:39]I heard you, but I really didn't I'm still gonna move throughout it and then
[9:45]Had surgery had us a few complications were waiting for final scans. I was really grateful and did it have to have radiation or chemo
[9:54]And we were just it was late at night. I still remember he was wearing maroon scrubs
[10:00]And I literally crawled into his lap
[10:01]and he just held me while I wept.
[10:04]And then we like finally, he did more research and called
[10:09]and he was like, okay, you're clear.
[10:10]And I was like, holy shit.
[10:13]But it was that moment.
[10:16]And I remember it so vividly, that is,
[10:19]I'll stop thinking you go back there.
[10:22]I'm not watching the movie of your life in my head
[10:24]and just like feeling it.
[10:25]So, but it woke me up.
[10:28]And I feel like life speaks to us
[10:31]and it's whether or not we are listening.
[10:33]And we get so busy.
[10:35]We operate from our phones and our calendars
[10:38]and our schedules and other people's expectations.
[10:42]And I cleared out all of that clutter
[10:45]and really dove into this creative pursuit
[10:49]with interiors and architectural photography.
[10:52]It started out as this companion to healing
[10:55]and it developed into something really purposeful
[10:59]where I'm able to support small businesses,
[11:01]female owned small businesses,
[11:03]which is really important to me
[11:04]and exercise my creativity every day.
[11:07]And I had been doing that for about five, six years
[11:12]before I really had the courage to pursue the book,
[11:17]which was what I wanted it.
[11:20]I wanted it to be filled with stories of life pivots,
[11:24]taking chances, also having a really honest view
[11:28]of the region of this country that I live in.
[11:31]I live in the South and growing up
[11:36]as a young independent Jewish woman,
[11:39]making my way to Tennessee
[11:41]and working in a very homogeneous industry.
[11:45]It just opened my eyes to see how much more progress
[11:49]we needed to make and we weren't making.
[11:52]And this book, I don't know how this happened,
[11:59]but I do feel like it was like a divine download
[12:03]for me to write during a specific time in history
[12:06]that was filled with so much division,
[12:08]intention and unrest and all of it.
[12:14]And to me, I'm really proud of this body of work.
[12:18]It was a leap of faith.
[12:21]I never thought I could write a book
[12:24]of this magnitude and photograph it.
[12:26]That's why I look back and you know,
[12:30]when you give birth, you forget about all the pain.
[12:34]I feel like I've had that amnesia a little bit,
[12:37]but it's important conversations.
[12:39]And I think the more we can teach
[12:42]how to explore curiosity and healthy discourse
[12:45]and ways to not always agree but come back together
[12:49]and use creativity as our own personal healing,
[12:53]tool and a community builder,
[12:56]I just think that needs to be our way forward even in today.
[13:01]So you could have written this book
[13:03]without any of your beautiful pictures, right?
[13:06]It could have taken many shapes and forms.
[13:09]How did you decide on making it look the way it did?
[13:13]I wanted the cover of the book, it's an empty chair.
[13:19]And the feeling I want you to have is to sit down
[13:22]and stay a while with me.
[13:24]And I wanted there to be an element of warmth.
[13:27]I also wanted there to be an element of shadows and light
[13:32]and style and substance.
[13:35]And I liked that dichotomy
[13:37]because we can't all have just hard conversations all the time.
[13:41]And I wanted it to be, I wanted the images
[13:43]to be an invitation to have deeper connection.
[13:47]And I also wanted the images that are light filled
[13:51]and hopefully inspiring to where you can inspire
[13:55]the four walls of your home where you live in
[13:58]and you love in and you laugh in and you grow and you heal in.
[14:01]And you become more intentional
[14:03]with the things that you're incorporating in your home
[14:06]to hopefully be a reminder where you want to be going
[14:08]or the change that you want to be making
[14:11]with your immediate family or with your community.
[14:13]And so there's a lot of layers
[14:16]and there's something for everybody.
[14:18]And I wanted, I wanted, that was my intention.
[14:22]Wow.
[14:24]No, I love it.
[14:25]Tell the story that you told me when we were together
[14:27]and Nashville about having to like desperately call
[14:30]up your friend for the chair.
[14:33]Oh, nightmare.
[14:34]I said that the total nightmare.
[14:37]When you are a creative with a vision
[14:40]or an author with a dream, you know,
[14:43]and when you start to pursue that path,
[14:46]there are a lot of opinions trying to change that vision.
[14:50]And the biggest thing I was doing at this time,
[14:52]I was really focused on being an advocate for my aesthetic
[14:55]and my vision and to really have the visuals match
[15:01]the content of the character of the project.
[15:04]And we were in a big debate with my publisher
[15:07]about the cover, but, and I'd been sitting on a cover
[15:11]for like five months, real confident.
[15:13]My agent and I are like, it's iconic, it is amazing.
[15:17]It's gonna, they're gonna love it.
[15:19]We had the initial meeting and they did a love it.
[15:21]And so they were like, we need,
[15:26]this was a Friday afternoon.
[15:28]And they're like, we need three options by Monday.
[15:32]And I was like, wow.
[15:35]So I was like, okay, gotta go.
[15:37]and I called my friend who owns this great shop
[15:41]here in town, it's called N&B Home.
[15:42]And they source beautiful antiques and treasures
[15:46]and just weathered moments of just goodness
[15:49]you wanna have in your home all over the world.
[15:51]And I called him and I was like, hey,
[15:53]I need to come to your warehouse and bring you my truck.
[15:56]And he's like, come on.
[15:57]And I loaded up my truck, loaded up all these chairs.
[16:01]I have like seven different antiques
[16:04]which chairs in my car.
[16:07]And I have a studio at the house and I spent all weekend
[16:10]just exhausting because I was like determined
[16:14]that I needed this cover to be fully representative
[16:17]of something that I wanted and inspired my heart.
[16:19]And I just didn't stop until I had it.
[16:22]And so something, and it's very simple cover
[16:25]and I love it and that's really my style.
[16:27]And again, there's symbolism and wanting you
[16:30]to sit and stay awhile.
[16:31]I love that.
[16:32]But they had a totally different opinion.
[16:34]Everybody has a opinion about what Southern style is.
[16:39]And the book is really, it's disguised as a style book.
[16:43]It's not a style book.
[16:45]And they wanted something floral and with a doily.
[16:49]And I just go down.
[16:50]No, no, no.
[16:52]I stayed true to my roots here.
[16:55]No dialies.
[16:56]Not for this book.
[16:58]How, so when I was in Nashville,
[17:00]you had the book for sale everywhere,
[17:01]including at the J for James store
[17:04]with all the Reese Witherspoon fans
[17:06]sort of swarming about, how did you get your book in there?
[17:10]And how do you get your book into lots of places aside
[17:13]from just a bookstore?
[17:15]Oh my goodness.
[17:15]How do you, I mean, you've got,
[17:17]you're all over the place.
[17:19]You are on all the good morning shows and CNN,
[17:22]like amazing congratulations.
[17:25]It's a labor of love, it's teamwork.
[17:28]And it's connections and it's relationships
[17:31]and it's cultivating, you know, really in fact,
[17:33]like I, when I set out to write the book,
[17:36]I'm a big believer of having a plan and working the plan
[17:39]and cultivating my relationships
[17:42]and the ones that really inspire my heart.
[17:44]And I love what Reese is doing and has done.
[17:48]And she's just such a pioneer with her production company
[17:51]and Draper James is a really just confident,
[17:56]whimsical, ethereal brand and makes women feel
[18:00]good from the inside out.
[18:02]And it's funny and fun.
[18:04]Actually wearing a Draper James dress
[18:06]from like five years ago right now, I swear.
[18:08]I'm positive.
[18:10]I'm trying to say, I'm almost positive.
[18:12]That's where it's from.
[18:13]But anyway, it's one of my favorites.
[18:14]And if you keep going, I just realized
[18:16]I don't usually do that, but I am today.
[18:18]She's an incredible team of women
[18:20]and they work really hard and they are really supportive.
[18:25]And it was an Obrainer to put her in this project.
[18:27]It wouldn't have been complete without the brand.
[18:30]Well, Sony, so how do you know go about life?
[18:34]I know you've woken up.
[18:35]You've discovered moments of stillness.
[18:37]You have found your passion.
[18:38]You found your creative outlet.
[18:39]You're getting all this industry wide and recognition
[18:43]and all of this great stuff.
[18:45]But do you ever worry like in the middle of the night
[18:48]about the cancer returning?
[18:50]Or do you ever worry about what if life goes a different way?
[18:54]Or is there something you're not doing?
[18:57]Like what do you worry about in the middle of the night?
[19:00]I don't like to spend my moments in worry
[19:03]and trust me, not every day.
[19:06]I have such a freedom for the first question,
[19:08]but I worry all night, but I just assume
[19:11]everybody else worries us of night.
[19:13]That's terrible of me.
[19:14]Of course, you might not worry.
[19:16]I will say, I am very fortunate.
[19:20]I love to sleep.
[19:22]I am like a great sleeper at night.
[19:24]However, my days are certainly not glossy and perfect.
[19:29]We sit out with the best of intentions
[19:31]and I try to receive the day I'm having.
[19:35]I may not always agree with the things that are going on.
[19:38]I do think that we live in this world
[19:40]where everything is so accessible.
[19:42]You're accessible.
[19:43]I'm accessible.
[19:45]Our products are accessible.
[19:47]Our content is very accessible.
[19:49]And I think the hardest part for me with this project
[19:54]specifically, there have been some traditional
[19:58]southern outlets.
[20:00]that really wanted to incorporate my brand and reached out to me.
[20:04]And unfortunately, they erased me as the original thought pioneer in some of their content.
[20:13]That worries me. That drives me insane.
[20:16]And I've had to almost just return to my moment.
[20:22]I mean, I think if we live in this constant state of worry
[20:27]and trying to anticipate things that haven't happened yet,
[20:30]we're missing the gift that's right in front of us.
[20:33]And I try not to lose sight of that.
[20:35]And so yesterday, to be vulnerable and honest,
[20:41]like it was kind of a dumpster fire of a day, you know?
[20:45]I carved out time. I didn't really have it,
[20:48]but I went to yoga and just said no to something else
[20:52]and created that space for me.
[20:54]And, you know, I woke up this morning, new day, new, new hope,
[20:59]you know, and a new set of things, you know, on my plate.
[21:03]But I try to navigate with kindness and a humanity.
[21:07]And, you know, that's all we can do, I think.
[21:10]I think I'm going to refer to my bad days now as dumpster fire type.
[21:13]It was a full dumpster fire.
[21:17]Oh, my gosh, but, you know, it's, it's just one of those things.
[21:22]I, and I've also at this point in my life
[21:27]I'm becoming more discerning in terms of what I want to be saying yes to
[21:31]and what I'm saying no to and I'm saying more knows.
[21:34]I'm really incubating my second book.
[21:38]That's really important to me.
[21:40]There may be, you know, I don't, Ben and I may be explaining a family.
[21:45]That's really important to me.
[21:47]And I've had my business for eight years now.
[21:51]And it has been nonstop for eight years, managing projects and clients and dreams
[21:56]and all of these incredible things really intentionally.
[22:00]But now I really want, I still want those things and they're going to happen
[22:04]just at a slower rate for me while I focus on other areas of my life.
[22:08]Well, you've certainly gotten, you have enough wisdom for the both of us.
[22:12]So I feel like today, I get a perspective slowing down is something that sounds like
[22:19]a nice idea, which I'm having trouble implementing myself.
[22:23]And you were having coffee.
[22:25]I said, are you going to slow down and you looked at me and you were like, no.
[22:35]So just laugh at my greatness, but I'm like, I want you to sleep.
[22:39]I want you to get a little bit worse.
[22:40]I got a great night sleep last night.
[22:41]I slept eight years.
[22:42]I'm okay.
[22:43]So no worry.
[22:44]Yeah, nothing, no, eight hours, I slept all the way till six.
[22:48]I can believe it.
[22:49]And I feel asleep with all my lights on last night, like literally all the lights on so tired.
[22:54]But anyway, tell me a little bit more about the second book.
[22:57]Can you say anything about it that you're anything?
[23:02]I'm curious not to throw this back at you, but to throw this back at you.
[23:05]I'm in this process.
[23:07]The creative process is really important to me.
[23:10]And it's something that I'm really curious about.
[23:13]And I like to follow that curiosity.
[23:15]And so I, broad level, I think it's going to be something really related about creativity
[23:21]being a companion to healing and what that looks like and how, as a photographer, we can
[23:29]have healthy boundaries around, you know, certain elements in our life, particularly, you
[23:35]know, the phone that we have in our pocket every day.
[23:38]So I don't know.
[23:39]We'll see.
[23:40]I guess that sounds great.
[23:42]Hopefully it's a resourceful healing tool and I couldn't inspire people to dive in deeper
[23:46]to their creative, you know, gifts.
[23:49]I think writing is also something so helpful as a tool, not just photography, but the writing
[23:54]and you know, all of it all together anyway.
[23:56]I'll work.
[23:57]Yeah.
[23:58]And the creative tools, and this can be gardening and writing and music therapy and art
[24:07]therapy and all of those beautiful things that we have.
[24:10]But we don't necessarily make time for, yeah, amazing.
[24:14]Do you have advice for aspiring authors?
[24:16]I have advice for aspiring authors and creatives and dreamers.
[24:21]The biggest thing that has been grounding for me is to develop a plan and work that plan.
[24:29]I think that's really important.
[24:32]There's a lot of abstract ideas around creatives and authors and writers and I think it's
[24:37]important to be inspired by your crisis is, you know, we all have them and let that
[24:45]fuel creative beginnings get clear and develop a plan and work it every day.
[24:51]Amazing.
[24:52]And just wondering, what are you reading right now?
[24:56]I think.
[24:57]Yes.
[24:58]And it's kind of triggering me, but right now I'm reading, I'm in between two books years.
[25:05]I have a date with a girlfriend and we're starting a little book club and I'm bringing
[25:10]her your book tomorrow, but I'm in the middle of Eckhart told the power of now.
[25:17]And it's good.
[25:18]It's hard.
[25:19]I mean, it, you know, time is a construct and observing your thoughts and not judging
[25:25]your thoughts and returning to that under kind of peace.
[25:30]That is a daily practice.
[25:32]It is a lot.
[25:34]And so when I'm having my dumpster fire of the day, I'm like, I don't have a turtle
[25:38]piece right.
[25:39]Oh my gosh.
[25:41]It has a turtle piece.
[25:43]What is that?
[25:44]That's right.
[25:45]No.
[25:46]Yeah.
[25:47]Alyssa.
[25:48]Thank you.
[25:49]Thanks for coming on mom's time to read books.
[25:50]Thanks for your beautiful book, both the messages in the writing and the visuals and all of
[25:56]it.
[25:57]And I'm so glad our paths crossed me too.
[25:59]I'm grateful for you.
[26:00]Thank you for having me.
[26:01]Yeah.
[26:02]Thanks for coming on.
[26:03]Bye.
[26:04]Take care.
[26:05]Bye.
[26:06]Bye.
[26:07]Thanks for listening to this episode of mom's don't have time to read books.
[26:10]Don't forget to follow me on Instagram at zebi Owens and at mom's don't have time to read
[26:15]books.
[26:16]Also sign up for my newsletter at zebiowens.com and sign up for my virtual book club and
[26:20]meet lots of authors on Zoom every other week.
[26:22]Thanks so much to Steve and Ryan at Textures Sound for the Sound Editing.
[26:26]And thank you to Morning Moon Productions for providing this fantastic intro and out trim
[26:30]music.