Sean Williams, GIRL DAD
[0:02]Hi, I'm Zivi Owens, the creator and host of the award-winning podcast that you're listening to right now
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[0:58]Sean Williams is the author of Girl Dad
[1:01]He is a hashtag girl dad to his two daughters and a hashtag boy dad as well
[1:06]He is also the founder is CEO of the dad gang, which you'll hear
[1:10]I said the wrong name during the episode and I still I'm feeling badly about it
[1:14]But anyway, he's the founder and CEO of the dad gang a conscious social community of dads on a mission to
[1:21]Redefine revolutionize and reshape the image of black fatherhood
[1:26]Girl dad is his first book for children
[1:28]You should definitely check out the dad gang by the way
[1:30]It is the coolest Instagram handle and they have these amazing videos of dads with their daughters
[1:36]And it is so cute and Sean is just amazing for starting this. I am just such a huge fan
[1:42]Welcome, Sean. Thank you so much for coming on moms. Don't have time to read books
[1:46]Oh, thank you so much for having me as a pleasure
[1:48]I am so excited. I not only loved your picture book girl dad
[1:52]But the whole mission of gang of dads is so amazing and you're the founder
[1:58]It's the coolest thing ever. I want everybody to know all about it
[2:01]Tell me about starting gang of dads and then writing girl dad and your whole mission to empower
[2:07]Black dads and girl relationships. It's amazing
[2:11]Well, absolutely. So it's the dad gang. I'm sorry. What did I say? What did I say?
[2:15]Gang of dad. Oh man. I'm sorry. Sorry. Yeah, so the dad gang
[2:20]It's like my fourth baby because I really treated like that. You know in 2017
[2:25]I started an organization just to change the narrative and the world's mindset of how they view black dads
[2:31]You know, I live in a predominantly white neighborhood at the time and there's a great neighborhood
[2:36]But an older woman stopped me and approached me when I had my youngest daughter
[2:40]And she said it was so good to see that I stuck around to be active
[2:44]And in that moment, I knew that she probably said that because she didn't see a lot of you know
[2:50]Black young black fathers being active
[2:53]So it was a teachable moment. I mean, I gave her a couple
[2:56]You know, I told first of I told her don't tell any dads that ever like just don't tell don't assume that we wouldn't be active
[3:02]You know because it's the furthest thing from the truth. So I took the Instagram on my social media
[3:08]I knew that my friends my brothers and my crew who were all also young active dads
[3:15]If I just shared the images that figure maybe that could just change that narrative by giving more visuals
[3:20]Because it wasn't even in media. You know, you don't see a lot of active black dads and
[3:24]There's always that lingering stereotype that we're not active. So yeah, you know
[3:29]I started an Instagram page initially that's all it was it was just the Instagram and the Facebook and the Twitter
[3:35]Just to like share the images and within the year a lot of other young black dads caught on to the hashtags
[3:43]They submitted pictures. So we were circulating hundreds thousands of pictures all year and within about after a year
[3:50]I said, you know what me and my crew usually do like a dad wall
[3:53]We'll get together have coffee have brunch and it's me and my friends probably about five to ten of us
[3:59]And we did get a lot of stairs when we did it
[4:01]So I said, let's see what this would you know
[4:04]Let's see how it would look if I invited the following and I swear about a hundred dads and babies came out
[4:10]And it was incredible, you know, we were breaking next it was a sight to see so many young dads
[4:15]Push-in strollers having a good time and that's when I realized I had something much bigger than the Instagram page
[4:21]You know and ever since we've been doing things to just support that community and we've been just growing at a rapid rate
[4:27]And you know if that led into a starting a non-profit it led into the non-profit getting like worldwide recognition
[4:35]Which opened the door for some other opportunities like you know
[4:39]You know writing a book which was it was one of my things to do one of my goals to do
[4:44]I didn't know when or how it would happen
[4:45]But the dad gang just opened the door for so many amazing things and I just connected me with so many amazing people and dads
[4:54]Yeah, yeah, okay, so it's not to get another name wrong
[4:57]It's don't the name of the walk
[4:59]Now you it's isn't it called the March of Dads instead of the March of time. Yes
[5:05]Let's see, you know, maybe it's the head injury from getting kicked in the face in the swimming pool and having a black eye
[5:10]I'm gonna blame it on that
[5:13]So tell me about that so the March of Dads and the visuals were amazing as you said like all the strollers and just honestly like it's
[5:20]It's so cool. It's just so cool
[5:22]So now are you raising money in that walk for your non-profit is that and then what is the non-profit?
[5:28]Fund like what do you do with the funds raised and all that?
[5:31]So what happened basically after the first walk, you know the following is over a hundred thousand followers
[5:38]These are dads and people from everywhere across the world
[5:41]So when we did it initially in Brooklyn
[5:43]We had a hundred dads
[5:45]But there were so many of the dads that said we wish we could have attended
[5:48]But we don't have a stroller. We don't have you know child care for the baby or for the whatever reasons a lot of dads
[5:55]Couldn't attend so while our mission was to change in narrative or the stereotype or the visuals behind black and brown fathers
[6:03]We realized there were you know there were other needs outside of the you know changing our stereotype and they're actually when we realize let's tag
[6:11]Let's add a non-profit piece this whole scenario so that we can have those now we can get the strollers to these dads
[6:17]So what happened was we started a non-profit called random acts of dadness
[6:21]So our crew is the dad gang random acts of dadness was a non-profit and when we raised the money we usually
[6:27]The first thing we did was supply over
[6:30]2020 to $30,000 in strollers to dads all across New York that was burping New York the Bronx
[6:36]That was Queens and we distributed dad packages care packages with baby supplies dad supplies and strollers
[6:44]We got bye-bye baby involved. We got target involved
[6:47]We got Walmart involved and pretty much ever since then we've been just doing that
[6:52]So sometimes it might be we might set up a day of panels and discussions and workshops for new dads who need to learn how to swaddle
[7:00]The thing is there's not a lot of people paying attention to dads and and supporting them in that journey a lot of focus goes on to taking care of mom
[7:08]mom and baby and helping mom, you know, through the pregnancy, but dads are going through a you know
[7:14]We're going through a struggle to and then you how to do these things too
[7:16]So we're just trying to give support to
[7:19]You know new dads and dads who need it whether it's childcare whether it's you know
[7:23]financial advice or financial support even during the pandemic
[7:27]We were given dads upwards of $5,000 for dad to have lost their jobs
[7:32]And just giving them a shopping spree with Walmart so that you know it's a lot of pressure on provide and to
[7:38]Maintain that you're feeling of being able the head of the household when you don't have a job
[7:43]It's hard so you know
[7:44]We just step in just to make them give them whatever support we can
[7:48]So we say we like to say with the organization
[7:49]We're support by any means necessary
[7:51]What do we have to do?
[7:52]We'll get it to him
[7:53]So we don't really there's no real specific program in which what way we can help
[7:57]But if there's a family that needs and they get in contact with us
[8:01]We are website or you know
[8:03]Do a friend we'll get some support to them
[8:05]That is amazing. And then do you hear back from the dads after like this changed my life. Oh my god
[8:10]Honestly, you know
[8:12]The first thing when we did that stroke of a way we had hurt kept so many testimonials of like do you don't know how
[8:19]How it feels to be able to sub you know support their family in this way because for dads
[8:24]Again as the head of the household when you can't support them in a way
[8:27]You feel less than you know
[8:29]You feel like you're not doing your job as a dad
[8:31]Even though it's more than just adding support
[8:33]So we've heard testimonies. I mean we've even got testimonies of they expanded their family because we were able to support them
[8:40]So we have dad gang babies
[8:42]I didn't know my gosh
[8:44]We have people who weren't ready to be parents, but after seeing how active and how much fun we had doing what we were doing as active
[8:52]Dad, they're like, you know, I think we're ready for this and you know five years later
[8:56]We have people saying we had we had this baby because you guys introduced parents into it to us in a way that was so
[9:03]You know heartwarming and welcoming and it's it's a seem fun to do and a lot less pressure and a lot less scary as the world
[9:09]May have made it seem so a lot of testimonials coming which just fuels us even more to like keep on going and keep on doing what we do
[9:16]I know well now as a mom. I want to like steal resources
[9:20]Wait, what are all the secrets you're telling dads over there?
[9:23]Like what should I what should I know?
[9:26]You guys already know trust me. It's there's nothing
[9:29]You under the sun, but you know just talking specifically to them to a really underserved or under no one's talking to them
[9:37]So I feel like we've become that, you know that voice to them that that microphone for them. Yeah
[9:42]It's really amazing and then tell me about it. How tell me about how it became a book. Oh, so girl did that
[9:47]So I have three kids two of which are daughters my oldest kids have older all of them
[9:53]So I have a 17 year old who's like my best friend
[9:56]And then I have yeah, then I have a six year old
[10:00]And it was interesting because in changing the narrative of Black and Brown dads, there's these like subcategories of like
[10:07]Of views that people have like what is a girl that so one of one of the videos that went viral for me was my youngest daughter painting my nails and putting makeup on and this was
[10:19]Not too long after Colby and his daughter that tragic accident happened
[10:23]So when he said girl that a lot of the following you know the hashtag started to bubble and a lot of guys said you know what
[10:29]It's a shame that you know someone dads think that the only way to pass on a legacy is through a son and I said it's very funny because when you have a girl
[10:37]You really don't even think that I can't you know I can't extend my legacy through my daughter
[10:42]So I felt like there was another I'm on this whole mission to change these in narrative
[10:46]And it was just another conversation to have me being a dad of two girls
[10:51]You know it just it just popped in my head like you know what that's also another topic that we can address
[10:56]Especially for younger dads as they're developing their relationship with their girl
[11:00]We don't want them to think that on man. I wish I had a son
[11:03]So he could play ball just like me or I wish I had a son so she could be so he could be an insert any
[11:09]You know profession of pilot or whatever the case may be
[11:12]But instead embrace that relationship that you have and give it all you have
[11:16]Give it all you got do whatever it takes
[11:18]So you know just enjoy that
[11:20]In relationship because it is it is part of your legacy and that's kind of how a girl dad came to be heavily inspired by
[11:26]Kobe and his daughter and then just a unique relationship
[11:29]Me seeing how much dads really connected with like you know what sometimes I feel funny on my daughter puts on
[11:35]You know it could be whatever but for me in that moment
[11:38]She wanted to paint my nails and I really didn't care
[11:40]You know what I mean? It was fun for her. It was fun for me
[11:43]The nail polish comes off right after it's like don't feel away about it
[11:47]Just dive right in and enjoy that relationship because it does a lot more for that child and for you
[11:53]Then to feel like you can't do certain things because you're a male or you know to me like
[11:57]Just have this whole weird stigma. So it was a really fun book to write
[12:01]I had them help me with it. You know, I would sit them down and be like what are the what are the most fun things that we do
[12:07]You know from our relationship and they would just name a bunch of things and that's pretty much what went into the book
[12:13]Wow, that's
[12:15]Really awesome. Yeah, there was a destigmatization of pink bows effort in the book. Yeah, I can't like it a lot
[12:24]One of those things so how did you become
[12:28]This like visionary entrepreneur? Where did this come from like what was you what would you grow up? What's your story?
[12:35]So I think it was a culmination of so many different aspects of my life
[12:39]I am I grew up in Brooklyn
[12:41]I was heavily involved when I got to college
[12:43]I was heavily involved in a fraternity doing community service and
[12:46]Mobilizing that you know my brothers at my school
[12:50]I was the part I served at the president of that organization for a while and in doing that
[12:54]I just knew how to like you know build community and get people together
[12:57]So I by the time we got to doing a walk for the day again
[13:00]It was like second nature a lot of my best friends will also part of my fraternity
[13:04]So we knew how to mobilize large groups of men. So that was just a thing
[13:08]I also served as a creative director for about eight years
[13:11]I freelance as graphic and a graphic and web designer for
[13:15]Five years before that so I kind of knew how to put things together and
[13:19]Market our brand things in the way that was appealing to whatever audience I was you know reaching out to so
[13:25]By the time the dad game came about it was more a mix of the skills that I had honed over these years
[13:31]And just my passion for being a dad as a creative. I spent a lot of my time at home
[13:35]So I was a stay at home. I was working from home while on daddy duty
[13:39]So I was never really off-daddy duty per se even in my professional career
[13:44]So by the time the dad game came around it was a mix of all of these different things to just and just it just led
[13:50]Me to a space where I didn't have to do anything else like this is what I did for a living
[13:53]You know to me like organ it like run these events
[13:56]You know do this fundraising end up writing a book and I'm just getting together and it was all around my my kids
[14:02]You know, so I think it just worked hand in hand
[14:06]It's awesome. I feel like I've tried to do something similar
[14:09]Like it's in everything. I do I did a children's book with them
[14:13]Like I there are some parallels. I haven't done a walk I've done some retreats and like events and things like that
[14:18]But yeah, it's it's so neat
[14:21]I think to involve kids and to have them see you be a creator in some way and like
[14:27]Add something back to the world and make it a little bit better
[14:30]I feel like I'm often like working on that
[14:32]But I'm like but don't this is a mission like don't you know
[14:36]Like do you feel like that to you and that they're inspired to do the same?
[14:39]Oh absolutely the funny thing is even in making content for the dad game
[14:43]It's we're not doing anything outside of what we were normally doing a day
[14:47]So if I'm taking them to the park if I'm coloring whatever I'm doing
[14:50]I try with the content that we push out. It's not staged. You know, so
[14:55]Most of the time they don't even know I'm working while I'm recording or doing what I'm doing
[14:59]So by the time it came down to writing a book. It just seemed like a project that I would always do and then it ended up in the book
[15:06]You know, so it hasn't been very difficult for me to involve the kids and
[15:10]What what I'm doing. I mean, it's a little bit more hands-on or different when I'm organizing a dad or funneries
[15:15]They're not too heavily involved there, but it just it just worked. It really worked in my favor. I'm a lucky I'm a lucky dad
[15:23]Well, the the content that you have is really
[15:26]Fantastic. I love the one with the little baby and he's like, you know, I don't even know
[15:30]I'm just gonna this you know flexing and sing like
[15:33]And the day
[15:35]He's like so strong and she's like this little thing and oh my gosh
[15:39]And the one doing like sit-ups on the grand this little tiny baby. Oh my gosh. Well, it's really
[15:44]You get lost on that page. I know I was like the content and I'm like
[15:49]Laughing and crying all day. Yeah, but how great. I mean, isn't that the goal of all shared stories, right?
[15:54]Absolutely people feel and like absolutely people connect. It's it's really great
[15:59]So where do you want this to go like what's do you have a dream? Is it just like a vision? Is it going just you know
[16:06]We'll see what comes next
[16:08]You know that the the mission was was very ambitious to say I could change the way
[16:13]The world views black fatherhood, but I feel like once we changed it for one person
[16:18]It's like it's a success. You know, we didn't I didn't start this to
[16:22]Gain worldwide recognition just to like change that narrative
[16:25]So I think we're well on our way to doing that
[16:27]I think in realizing that dad's needed support and starting the nonprofit
[16:32]The goal now is to like open centers and do what we do across across multiple cities
[16:38]You know, we've we've done walks in Atlanta and New York and DC
[16:42]We're you know, Garrett up to do one in LA and other places and not within the country
[16:46]We want to take it across the you know to Africa and to just just around the world
[16:51]Ideally we would love to have a center and like locations where we can like really give these guys these
[16:56]Experience these dads these experiences and get hands-on with them
[17:00]You know whether it's a workshops whether it's you know
[17:03]You know family planning financial literacy. I think it's it's a really important thing to have in a resource to have for dad
[17:10]So that that that would be the goal
[17:11]That's the major goal to have those centers opened in multiple places in multiple cities in multiple just just areas in around the world
[17:19]Well, it seems like you've gotten first of all so much press on this
[17:22]But also the attention of like highly influential people over your dope dope dad of the year word or dope dad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
[17:30]About that
[17:31]So what was happening on especially we started that in 2021 after the pandemic
[17:36]You know a lot of the dads that we post are actual content creators as well
[17:40]So in the pandemic, you know, they kept on going and I was so inspired because it's the easiest content for me to find right
[17:47]A lot of it is content that we're not creating words resharing content that these dads make so
[17:53]By 2020 we have a lot of partners. We had a lot of organizations that were done support
[17:57]We were doing so we wanted to highlight dads who were just you know
[18:01]Non-stop state, you know helping us and giving us content and this is the content that really changed that narrative
[18:07]Right letting us into your house and listen to your homes
[18:10]You know talking about certain topics
[18:12]I'm sharing how they you know their parenting style their father style with the following
[18:16]so we just wanted to highlight them and
[18:19]We you know selected like about 10 to 15 dads who we thought were like really killing it and
[18:24]We went to Atlanta
[18:25]We it was like in a nice restaurant. It was just an amazing thing. It's a lot of again
[18:30]We don't need a trophy to be a good dad
[18:33]But these dads were going above and beyond daddy duty for their family
[18:37]They were going above and beyond what it takes to raise their family and sharing and it was changed in the lives of so many dads
[18:44]In the following that we just wanted to give them some real recognition and real
[18:48]You know just inspire them and motivate them to keep on doing what they're doing
[18:52]So this year was our second year doing it
[18:54]It got you know
[18:55]I mean it's funny because everything gets even bigger and better every year that we do it
[18:59]So all the programs from the walk to the dad awards to you know the stroller giveaway all of these events
[19:06]It's like we could just duplicate it the next day the next year and the year after that and the year after that because it doesn't stop
[19:11]There's always going to be more dads
[19:13]There's always going to be more content
[19:15]So there's going to be more reasons to celebrate and shine a positive light on these guys
[19:18]So that's what we're doing. That's what I was thinking about moms
[19:21]I'm like somebody at one point said because a lot of my
[19:24]Congenists do it books and they were like well
[19:27]Not just one person many people said to me like well, don't do moms that it
[19:30]You know that immediately leaves so many people out who love books
[19:33]And I'm like, you know if I could corner the mom market
[19:36]I feel good about that
[19:37]You know everybody's welcome to listen and this is not just content for moms
[19:40]But it's like it's a it's a you know, it's a naturally recycling audience
[19:44]There's always there's and there's such a need among parents. It's not just moms
[19:48]This this sort of need for connection when you're going through something incredibly difficult
[19:54]with your guidebook and
[19:56]Constant issues to solve right? I feel like every day is like
[20:00]thing of, I'm like, I don't know. How should I handle this? How should I handle that? And sometimes
[20:04]just a quick chat with somebody or, you know, fellow mom, who's like an entrepreneur,
[20:09]and a mom, and who gets it. And it's like, yeah, it's really hard when XYZ happens. Like,
[20:14]it's enough to keep you going. And you're doing that for like 100,000 plus people. It's really
[20:19]awesome. Yeah, you know, a lot of, a lot of dads or a lot of people in general say, I'm
[20:23]to expand and do this. And I'm like, you know what, when you start getting good and targeting a
[20:29]specific audience, everybody always wants you to expand. But that's the reason that you're
[20:32]able to talk to them. You know what I mean? That's the reason we focused on these guys for a reason.
[20:38]And this audience for a reason because they weren't being spoken to there, they weren't getting
[20:42]the attention. So now they were focused on them and they're getting their attention. Everybody
[20:46]wants us to expand. But you know, we can't, we can't talk to everybody. You know, we can't focus on
[20:51]everyone and every issue. So I think we have a good space. You know, I think we were pointed in the
[20:57]right direction and we're making some good progress with the dads. And you know, so we're going to
[21:02]keep on doing this. There's always going to be more. What are you going to do? I mean, I feel like
[21:07]you should have a show. There should be a documentary. There should be a show. You must have something
[21:12]like that percolating in some way. Oh, absolutely. We've been documenting a lot of the our journey.
[21:18]We also have a podcast coming out soon to share about what we're doing and to talk about those
[21:23]topics in a real time. But yeah, it's a thing. This year we were actually going to do an
[21:28]exhibit cut to show Black fatherhood and how it's changed in media. Why the stereotype even started
[21:34]in how we're not only combating the stereotype, but the fact that the stereotype is actually false that
[21:38]Black dads are are inactive or deadbeat. It's actually not even true. And the fact is when it
[21:44]when it was stacked up, we actually did a study, the CDC did a study where they scaled, it was a
[21:50]measure of, I don't know, all the ethnic groups. And whether we were in the home or not in the home,
[21:55]married or not married, Black dads were one of the most active ethnic groups in that study. So
[22:01]it's just interesting that like the information that goes around and what people, what people
[22:05]hear and what people believe versus what the actual reality is. So we're just trying to find
[22:09]different ways of doing that. So a documentary would be nice. Podcast definitely, but in exhibit,
[22:14]I thought it was a really creative way to do it. And I think we'll be able to do that in 2023.
[22:18]That's awesome. Do you think the museum or like sent some sort of center?
[22:23]You know, I don't know. I can. Yeah. The world is always doing one of it.
[22:26]Yeah. It's going to be fun. It's going to be fun.
[22:29]And I love all your merch. All this, the dope dad stuff, as I told you, my son was like,
[22:34]you can't say dope. I have to say, you know, I can say it. He can barely say it, but you know what I mean.
[22:40]So anyway, all the all the fabulous merch you have. And I just love the attention and recognition
[22:46]for parents. Full stop. It's just amazing. And those relationships are so special. So
[22:54]it's been an amazing dream so far. I have to say. Yeah. Wow. Well, Sean, I'm so glad to have met you.
[23:00]I'm sorry again for my mistake at the beginning. This is what happens. I just love what you're doing.
[23:06]I am so energized by it seeing you do this and like killing it. It's really awesome.
[23:11]So it's inspiring so much. Oh, thank you so much for having me. It's been a pleasure. I
[23:17]meet so many amazing people like yourself. Sometimes really unbelievable. Like the people I come
[23:21]in contact with and the, you know, the exposure and the recognition from this whole thing.
[23:26]It wasn't the plan, but it is nice. You know, it is nice to meet people and get this type of
[23:31]support. So thank you so much for having me. Thank you for coming. Bye bye. Thank you. All right.
[23:37]Thanks for listening to this episode of moms. Don't have time to read books.
[23:40]Don't forget to follow me on Instagram at zebi Owens and at moms don't have time to read books.
[23:46]Also sign up for my newsletter at zebiowens.com and sign up for my virtual book club and meet lots
[23:51]of authors on Zoom every other week. Thanks so much to Steve and Ryan at Texture Sound for the
[23:55]sound editing. And thank you to Morning Moon Productions for providing this fantastic intro and