Susie Petruccelli, RAISED A WARRIOR: A Memoir of Soccer, Grit, and Leveling the Playing Field
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[2:04]Susie Delellis Petriccelli is the author of Raised Warrior, a memoir of soccer, grit,
[2:09]and leveling the playing field.
[2:11]Susie is a former captain of the Harvard Women's Soccer Team, youth coach, author, producer,
[2:17]and tech professional.
[2:18]She supports organizations that grow opportunities for girls, like the Women's Sports Foundation,
[2:24]coaches across continents, and the Equal Playing Field Initiative.
[2:27]Susie invests in female founded projects and startups like Ida Sports, a company that
[2:31]makes soccer cleats and sports shoes ergonomically designed for women, and builds an
[2:36]imagine, a toy company that designed STEM building toys for girls.
[2:40]Susie is the executive producer of the Equal Playing Field Documentary, the suicide awareness
[2:44]film last call, and warriors of a beautiful game, a film by Kelly Nassie Mento, the daughter
[2:51]of the Brazilian soccer icon Pillai, and Julie Foodie, the U.S. Women's National Soccer
[2:56]Team legend about gender inequality and soccer around the world.
[3:00]She works for Atlanta Media, building the Women's Soccer Streaming Platform to help grow
[3:04]exposure and fandom for the Women's Game.
[3:07]Welcome, Susie.
[3:08]Thanks for coming, and moms don't have time to read books to discuss raised a warrior
[3:12]and memoir of soccer, grit, and leveling the playing field.
[3:16]Thank you so much, I'm so excited, so excited.
[3:20]Is this you on the cover, by the way?
[3:22]It is 99% sure it's me, it could also be my identical twin sister.
[3:27]We're not 100% sure, but I do think it's me.
[3:32]Susie, I have to say, and I didn't end up taking the time to do this, but as I was reading
[3:37]your book, I wanted to Google your sister and try to find pictures of you guys growing
[3:41]up.
[3:42]They must be out there, right?
[3:43]Because there was so much about Katie in the book and your relationship to her, and as
[3:48]a parent of twins, I was like, oh gosh, you know, I feel like some of it was just a referendum
[3:53]on how your parents parent to twins.
[3:56]It is, yeah, yeah, there are a ton of pictures, and they're all very funny, they're all
[4:00]very funny.
[4:01]We had like one of us had the bang, one of us, you know, they were always trying to figure
[4:04]out ways to differentiate us.
[4:06]I wore yellow, she wore pink, we had name, we had like, my grandmother would embroider
[4:10]our names, like our first names on all everything we wore, you know, it's hard, it's
[4:14]winter hard.
[4:16]I thought it was one of the scenes that I loved was you had been not working as hard
[4:20]in school as your sister and yet excelling in athletics and all this other stuff, but just
[4:25]like you were like giving that to her, like she can be the student until you got the exact
[4:30]same score on an IQ test, which I also thought was so fascinating, right?
[4:34]I mean, there's so many ways to get to it, but that happened to us three times.
[4:39]Yeah, we had the same IQ scores, my parents were like, we're going to just slide these
[4:46]papers in front of you and turn them over and you can, you know, it's proof, like you cannot
[4:51]slack off in school.
[4:53]This is not because you don't have the ability to do it, you're purposely not trying
[4:58]as hard as your sister.
[4:59]When it was good for me, actually, because if they hadn't had that proof, you know, I would
[5:04]have just kept going my own way and not really trying as hard as I possibly could.
[5:08]I don't think I knew I wasn't trying as hard as I possibly could, but that, yeah, that was
[5:12]true.
[5:13]And then twice on the SAT, we got the same score, things were like, yeah, wow, you're just
[5:19]like a nurture nature experiment just it is, yeah, yeah, yeah, we actually, yeah, we thought
[5:27]about we actually applied for a couple of those studies, you know, they do like twin studies
[5:31]and stuff.
[5:32]There's a new one out and it's in California, but because I live in New York and she lives
[5:36]in California, we could do it.
[5:37]So yeah, it's fascinating, fascinating.
[5:40]Wow.
[5:41]So your book is the journey of you being an athlete, but also coming into your own and
[5:48]rebelling against some things, accepting other things, growing up, and then fast forwarding
[5:53]and having kids in your own family and sort of the role of athletics, particularly as
[5:58]it relates to women over time.
[6:00]How did I do with the summary there?
[6:02]Yeah, it's amazing.
[6:03]Thank you.
[6:04]You can just take it and start using that.
[6:05]But one thing that stuck out to me also, I tried to walk on to the Yale lacrosse team.
[6:11]I played lacrosse in high school, but you know, I was fine.
[6:14]I was like captain of my team, whatever in New York, but compared to the women of the Yale
[6:18]lacrosse team, I was not good at all, but it's fine.
[6:21]But for me, I always say, as soon as I saw the communal showers, I was like, no, thanks.
[6:25]I'm done.
[6:26]I'm going to walk down.
[6:27]I'm not even going to talk.
[6:28]And then to read that scene in your book, oh my gosh, I thought I was the only one.
[6:32]I guess everybody else is cool with this.
[6:34]I know.
[6:35]Well, that's how you feel.
[6:36]Well, I guess everybody's cool with this.
[6:37]I'm just going to go for it, just going to go for it.
[6:40]And then the cool thing about it is at least at our era, once you do, it is very important
[6:45]for women, I think, to get over that body consciousness, like over self-consciousness.
[6:51]And some people do, and some people don't.
[6:53]Like, as the years went on, we did have girls who just never, never went in a communal
[6:57]shower.
[6:58]And it was funny for us at the time, because we shared a shower.
[7:01]It wasn't even a private communal shower for our team.
[7:05]We shared it with two other teams.
[7:07]So sometimes there would be three teams in the same communal shower, which is nuts.
[7:14]I don't know now how comfortable all the girls are with that, right?
[7:18]Like, things have changed, right?
[7:20]I wonder, do they still do it?
[7:21]I don't even know.
[7:22]I'm so out of time.
[7:23]I think now, well, they have a completely new locker room now.
[7:26]They actually gave the girls now a locker room in the same building that the boys are in,
[7:30]which was long overdue.
[7:32]They renovated the locker rooms for the women.
[7:34]And now they have sort of, I think almost 100% sure they have sort of like shower stalls.
[7:39]Yeah.
[7:40]So it's a little different.
[7:41]Still, you know, not totally private, but you also wrote in great detail.
[7:46]And I was like, when singing pain along with you about your injury to your quad muscle
[7:52]and like the very in-depth or how do I even describe it?
[7:55]The most deep muscle that you could sort of snap it just like snapped like a rubber band
[7:59]you said.
[8:00]And I'm always so fascinated with athletes who can't do their thing, right?
[8:04]Because there's almost nothing worse.
[8:05]Like I use that as an example for whenever you can't do so anything, right?
[8:09]Because it's like, anyway, tell me about how, because it seemed like that moment really
[8:13]affected your development in general, that when you, you're, you're literally like ham's
[8:18]junk from like your careers as it was building.
[8:22]Yeah.
[8:23]You know, it was funny because it took me a long time to process why everything.
[8:27]Because when that happened, when that happened, my whole life kind of imploded and on and
[8:33]off the field.
[8:34]And I didn't really, you know, it took me a while to look back and be like, why did everything
[8:37]fall apart?
[8:38]You know, couldn't play soccer anymore.
[8:41]And you know, I think most of it was because who my grandfather was, who my father was.
[8:46]The family that I grew up in, you know, everything that, every important thing that
[8:51]happened in my life, every joy, every ounce of adrenaline, like, you know, all that stuff
[8:56]that happened to me was because of soccer.
[8:59]And so when it was gone and it was flipping and I felt soccer slipping away slowly and
[9:03]I was sort of like grasping to hold onto it.
[9:05]It was just, it was just, you know, it was very, it was devastating.
[9:10]It was devastating.
[9:11]And then obviously, you know, then you look back like five, 10 years later and you're
[9:14]like, okay, well, there's tons of other girls who have bigger, you know, setbacks in their
[9:20]lives and more traumatic things that happened to them.
[9:23]And you know, I gave me like a perspective about, you know, even girls, you know, first of
[9:28]all I started learning about Title IX, right?
[9:30]Which is this law that was passed in 1972, only two years before I was born.
[9:34]So I realized that if I had been born just five years earlier, I wouldn't have had any
[9:38]of those opportunities to play soccer or play sports.
[9:41]My life would have been totally different.
[9:42]I may not have even, I'm most likely wouldn't have gotten into Harvard, right?
[9:46]So, you know, it was, it was just like this, you know, and then I start to think, well,
[9:51]if girls in the United States don't have a law till 1972 that protects their access to
[9:56]education and sports, then what about girls outside?
[10:00]in the United States, right?
[10:01]So it became sort of like this domino effect.
[10:04]And I took, you know,
[10:05]and this all led to, you know,
[10:06]taking me 25 years to write this book
[10:08]because I just kept learning.
[10:09]I was like, where's the end of this story?
[10:11]Where's the good news, you know?
[10:13]Where's the happy ending?
[10:14]And they're, you know, we're not there yet.
[10:16]That's okay, because we have advocates like you.
[10:18]And we're getting there, we are making progress.
[10:23]Yes.
[10:24]And then I feel like our daughter's daughters
[10:25]are gonna be, you know, all good.
[10:27]It's gonna be all good by the time.
[10:29]I hope so.
[10:30]I really hope so.
[10:31]But I do worry.
[10:31]I mean, look, you know, Roe v. Wade is under attack.
[10:34]That's good.
[10:35]You know, these, that's part of the story, right?
[10:37]And the most, maybe the most important thing in the book
[10:39]is what I saw was these laws that we had throughout history.
[10:43]Not only were they, was it always a battle,
[10:46]like they could be using that word.
[10:47]It's a battle to pass these laws.
[10:49]I was like, why is it a battle to give us the same rights
[10:52]that boys have always had?
[10:54]You know, it just felt wrong to me.
[10:56]And then not only that, but I realized that,
[10:58]so and those laws that we have, we can't,
[11:00]they're not guaranteed.
[11:01]They're actually always under attack.
[11:03]And there's these organizations,
[11:05]these nonprofits and these amazing people
[11:07]that literally work 24 seven to protect those laws.
[11:11]So they stay in place.
[11:13]And in a lot of ways, they're losing.
[11:15]You know, Title IX was overturned twice.
[11:18]You know, obviously like Roe v. Wade,
[11:20]like I'm saying is, you know, could very well be overturned.
[11:22]But women in Afghanistan, you know,
[11:24]now we're under Taliban rule.
[11:26]Like they've gone back so far in history
[11:29]to where they stand in terms of their rights
[11:32]and accessibility.
[11:32]So, you know, it just, it's really scared me.
[11:35]That's kind of, you know, I was like,
[11:37]if I, if as a female athlete, as a college female athlete,
[11:40]I had never heard of Title IX.
[11:41]And I didn't know that all these laws are at risk.
[11:44]Like I need to do something.
[11:46]I need to try to tell this story in an interesting way
[11:49]so that people will read, we will care about the history
[11:53]and get engaged and, you know, and try to,
[11:56]and try to stand up just like you're saying.
[11:58]Like we're all expecting things to be better for our daughters.
[12:01]But I honestly am worried that if we don't get involved,
[12:03]you know, we're not, we're not only gonna not,
[12:06]we're not only gonna not get to gender equality
[12:08]or like equal pay,
[12:10]but we're gonna lose the rights that we already have.
[12:13]Well, that's depressing.
[12:14]Yeah, I know, I know, I know, I'm sorry.
[12:17]That's okay, that's okay.
[12:19]But it's not your pressing because no, no, no.
[12:21]It's inspiring.
[12:22]Yeah, I'm kidding.
[12:24]It's inspiring.
[12:24]There's hope, there's action steps.
[12:26]We don't have to sit passively.
[12:28]There's lots to do.
[12:28]Yeah, we do have the power.
[12:30]Yeah, we do have the power.
[12:31]We have spending power.
[12:32]We have consumer power.
[12:33]We have, you know, we do have the power to change things.
[12:36]I felt very unempowered as our work unempowered for a long time.
[12:42]And then, you know, it took a very long time for me
[12:44]to find my voice and even though I'm losing it right now.
[12:46]But, you know, to find my, to find my power again
[12:50]and realize that, you know, all of us, all little girls,
[12:52]you know, look what, I mean, look at the amazing things
[12:54]that you're doing, right?
[12:55]Like, you know, we all have a voice.
[12:58]Thank you.
[12:59]That's right.
[13:00]Can't live me into this.
[13:02]So you don't have to answer this or talk about it really.
[13:06]But there was this one moment in the book
[13:08]between you and your brother Tom.
[13:11]I think it was Tom in the two of your sitting in the car
[13:14]and you just said, can I talk about it?
[13:16]Yeah, yeah, that's my oldest brother, Tony.
[13:18]That was Tony.
[13:19]Sorry.
[13:19]I think so.
[13:20]I think I know where you're going.
[13:21]OK.
[13:22]And you sort of took a deep breath
[13:24]and decided to confide in him
[13:26]that you were bisexual.
[13:29]And he laughed, which you didn't appreciate.
[13:32]Yeah, he was like, oh, God.
[13:34]I'm still the reaction I was hoping for.
[13:36]And then he ended up telling you that he was also bisexual.
[13:39]And then ended up going on and marrying a man
[13:42]and they're in a relationship
[13:43]or they were in the book and all of that.
[13:45]And that was just that moment in the car.
[13:48]I mean, some of the scenes you wrote were so vivid.
[13:51]You just completely took us there.
[13:53]So I feel like now I was in the car with the two of you.
[13:55]But maybe you have some more details
[13:57]to shine on that moment.
[13:59]Yeah, you know, I was, like I said, like I lost soccer
[14:03]and my whole life, like I sort of self-destructed.
[14:07]And I think there had been a lot of moments in my life
[14:11]leading up to that point that, you know,
[14:14]not just about soccer, but about who I was
[14:17]and about not being like authentic to myself
[14:20]and pretending to be who I thought I was supposed to be,
[14:22]that kind of stuff.
[14:23]And you know, all of those moments had sort of left,
[14:27]like let's say like loose bricks
[14:29]or like, you know, hollow bricks
[14:31]in my kind of emotional foundation.
[14:34]I don't know.
[14:35]I don't know.
[14:35]Does that make sense?
[14:36]Yep.
[14:37]And so, you know, it like being brave enough
[14:40]to say those things out loud that, you know,
[14:43]I never felt very ashamed of actually
[14:46]like not confident about talking about
[14:48]and didn't know what his reaction was going to be.
[14:51]Like those moments, I think, are the moments
[14:53]that I try very hard to be honest about in the book
[14:56]because I feel like if I feel like first of all,
[14:59]people don't talk about those moments a lot still.
[15:02]And if I can be honest about them,
[15:06]people will hopefully relate to me
[15:09]and that will carry them, that will earn like their trust.
[15:13]Like I will earn their trust by being honest in that way.
[15:16]And then hopefully they'll also believe me
[15:18]as I start to explain to them what's going on
[15:22]in women's sports and like how the women's sports movement
[15:25]is so deeply tied into like the women's movement,
[15:29]you know, in general.
[15:30]And so that's sort of like, you know,
[15:32]that's sort of what I was trying to do is like,
[15:34]be like, okay, well, this, I'm gonna be wrong.
[15:37]I'm gonna be honest with you.
[15:38]And, you know, and my brother really didn't,
[15:41]my brother didn't come out to our family
[15:43]until the years later.
[15:45]And, you know, I don't, like even in my family,
[15:47]like obviously I, you know, I married my,
[15:50]someone I played soccer with a guy,
[15:51]I played soccer with it, Harvard.
[15:53]And, you know, it's not, we talk about my sexuality,
[15:56]but it's funny because kind of a moot point,
[15:59]like I married, you know, I married a man.
[16:01]So it hasn't really come up that much.
[16:03]But yeah, it was really important moment.
[16:05]It was a cool moment for me and my brother there.
[16:09]I loved when you realized that you actually liked
[16:12]your husband in that way.
[16:13]You know, in the book.
[16:15]And you were like, wait, I think actually,
[16:16]I think maybe I like him.
[16:18]Yeah.
[16:19]I was like, I turned to my friend,
[16:21]like that's friend at the time.
[16:22]I was like, you're not gonna believe this,
[16:24]like a loud bar, you know?
[16:25]And like, it was great.
[16:26]I'm like, you're not gonna believe this.
[16:28]But I think I have feelings for Armando.
[16:31]And she was just, like the biggest laugh, you know?
[16:35]It was such a surprise.
[16:37]It was such a surprise to everybody.
[16:38]And plus he was a freshman when I was a senior,
[16:40]which made it even more of a, you know, surprise.
[16:43]So yeah, that was, that was really funny.
[16:45]I know how long have you been married?
[16:47]We've been married 18 almost 18 years.
[16:50]Oh my gosh.
[16:50]Yeah.
[16:51]Yeah. Three kids, yeah.
[16:53]I also love sports.
[16:54]They actually.
[16:55]Oh, I loved when you were talking about your daughter
[16:58]and how I guess you didn't want to wear a dress
[17:00]or skirts or something like that.
[17:02]And Armando reminded you that like,
[17:04]that was exactly like you, even though.
[17:06]Right.
[17:08]Yeah, he's like, you know, she's just like you.
[17:11]I was like, you're right.
[17:13]You got me.
[17:14]Why am I doing this to her?
[17:16]You know, I'm like repeating the cycle.
[17:18]I'm like enforcing social norms on her.
[17:20]When I hated that, right?
[17:22]Yeah.
[17:23]But luckily he was like, snap out of it.
[17:27]I have the same thing with my daughter yesterday.
[17:29]We went to see, I mean, this will err later,
[17:31]but anyway, we went to see the radio city
[17:33]Christmas spectacular or whatever.
[17:35]And she had asked me how long it would be.
[17:36]And I was like, I think it's been an hour,
[17:38]which she interpreted it to be exactly an hour.
[17:40]So anyway, the whole time we were there,
[17:42]she kept looking at her little garment watch
[17:44]or whatever, being like, okay, it's been 22 minutes.
[17:46]It's been 30 minutes.
[17:48]It's been 33 minutes, you know, whatever.
[17:50]And I was like, just relax and enjoy it.
[17:52]But meanwhile, I was like, that's exactly what I did.
[17:55]Exactly what you would have read.
[17:56]And that's what I was doing in my head all along anyway.
[17:59]And then I'm like, it's hard to create these creatures
[18:01]who don't share some of our pitfalls
[18:04]or our strengths or whatever.
[18:05]But the things that, I don't know,
[18:07]the things that I'm usually the most like,
[18:09]don't do that are the things I do myself.
[18:13]I know, totally.
[18:13]Yeah, but luckily for me at that time.
[18:16]And actually, it is hard though.
[18:18]I do see it from a mom's perspective too.
[18:20]Like I saw kids picking on her
[18:23]because of the way she dressed.
[18:24]And I fell back for her.
[18:27]And you know, I wanted her in a lot of ways.
[18:30]It was about me kind of protecting her.
[18:32]I don't know if that's the way it was for my mom.
[18:34]I think my mom actually just like sort of had this image
[18:37]of what a little girl should look like.
[18:38]And also I had an identical twin sister
[18:39]who was that little girl, you know?
[18:41]So they're like, why can't you wear a dress
[18:43]and stockings and little shoes
[18:45]and put a bone in your hair and leave your hair brushed
[18:47]and not come back with skin needs all the time.
[18:52]So yeah, it's funny.
[18:54]Wow.
[18:55]I really did get a sense though in your family history
[18:58]with both your dad and your grandfather
[18:59]being big deal football guys.
[19:01]And just, you know, there was this DNA sort of coursing
[19:06]through you, right?
[19:07]This genetic amazing athleticism.
[19:10]And when I was reading it, I was like,
[19:12]I can't wait to see what happens with her kids, right?
[19:14]Where are your kids getting it?
[19:15]They must all be amazing athletes too.
[19:17]It just seems like you have such a strong gene.
[19:20]Oh, that's nice.
[19:21]Thank you.
[19:22]And that's the way it did feel that way.
[19:24]And I did feel like I was part of that family legacy.
[19:27]And you know, my kids are doing well.
[19:29]They're actually none of them are playing very much soccer,
[19:31]which is funny because obviously my husband
[19:33]and I are both soccer players.
[19:35]And, but they're all playing a lot of lacrosse,
[19:37]which, you know, as you know, in New York areas,
[19:40]like very, very, very popular.
[19:42]Very hard to avoid.
[19:43]Yes.
[19:43]So they play a lot of lacrosse and they love it.
[19:46]So it's good.
[19:47]They're getting everything out of it
[19:48]that I loved about soccer.
[19:50]And I'm learning a lot about the,
[19:52]I'm learning a lot from being a parent of an athlete.
[19:55]And they're all different levels too.
[19:57]And so I'm learning a lot about sort of.
[20:00]The other being the flip side being the parent because I was very I was very critical of the way my dad
[20:05]Was you know my dad was harsh right he was a tough person like the books called raised a warrior because that's how he raised
[20:10]So on the field was to like sacrifice our bodies for the team, right?
[20:15]So I'm seeing it now from the parent perspective which which is also really really interesting
[20:20]I feel like when I read about people like your dad and you know
[20:24]I'm just like such a wimp when it comes like I'm just so not strict enough at all
[20:28]I understand there's a there's there's a spectrum like continuum
[20:31]But I'm like wow he pushed and look what you achieved though, right?
[20:35]You know you when you're sister or both at Harvard like thanks to her and you know
[20:39]Capturing the team and you know now you've dedicated your life to this and I don't know
[20:43]I'm like well, maybe there's something to all that pushing
[20:46]You know it's funny though. I will from now I married
[20:50]Obviously which we do I married someone like my father. So he's the he's the one who's pushing and he's
[20:59]So funny, but you know, and so I'm sort of the balance on that and so I'm probably more like you were I'm like
[21:05]No, look let them play other sports and you know
[21:08]Everyone should be quiet on the sidelines like I you know the the parent yelling on the sidelines
[21:12]You know, I think it's hard because I it actually still I still feel it like I'm still that kid on the field
[21:18]Right and I'm like ouch oo
[21:21]You know it pains me for these kids that are getting yelled at but you know, you're right like it did
[21:26]You know, they were they were hard on us and they did expect a lot from us and I and I also now
[21:32]And correct so grateful that my dad was okay or actually encouraged my sister and I to be athletes because there are so many girls
[21:40]In the world who their fathers won't let them play sports just you know
[21:44]There's still not allowed to play sports so you know that part of it
[21:48]I was like, okay, well, I need to go easier on my dad because you know
[21:51]He encouraged us to be student and athlete he expected us to be students and athletes
[21:56]Which now I know it doesn't happen for a lot of girls. You know
[22:00]Wow, yeah
[22:01]You talked in the book a little about well not a little but about your relationship with your body and how it times
[22:08]You had gained weight and lost weight and your diagnosis of PCOS and like dealing with that and how you felt and I'm wondering now
[22:16]How do you feel about your body like today?
[22:18]Like what's it like today and what's your relationship to athletics like now like what do you do?
[22:23]How do you see working out?
[22:26]Like that whole thing such a good question
[22:28]So I am happier with my body than I've ever been in my life
[22:32]Which is so nice to say because it was a struggle for so long and but it's funny because I hadn't seen my parents for a very long time
[22:40]Right, we'll cove it and they're in LA and so I went to visit a couple of times this year and they they were like
[22:47]Are you okay because I was been you know and they were like are you okay?
[22:51]What's going on and I was like I can't win with these people
[22:55]They were on my case for so long about being overweight and now I'm like thin and you know
[23:02]Feel good about myself and there are now there are my kids who are being too skinny like I can't even win
[23:07]But no, I'm happy. I'm happy where I am and I'm I'm not exercising enough. I
[23:13]You know, I kind of
[23:16]Was so exhausted after all those years of playing soccer and my body is
[23:21]Hurts, you know, my shoulder hurts my wrist hurts like I have to you know building this like her needed this in my neck and
[23:29]You know, I at my quad never healed and I torn you know, I torn and feel I'm just a mess
[23:34]I'm a I'm a physical mess. So you know, I was trying to do yoga. I you know, I do and I miss soccer
[23:40]It's crazy. I'm 47 years old and I still miss it so much, you know, but you know
[23:45]I'll get I'll find I need to find something that
[23:49]You know, like keeps me like building muscle and all you know all that healthy stuff that I was getting from soccer
[23:56]I need to find I still need to find something like that now for like sort of the rest of my life
[24:00]Has my husband played professional tennis and he has similar stuff going on with his body
[24:06]But there was one doctor who was like, you know, you really just shouldn't play tennis anymore
[24:09]And said you took a couple of weeks and was like then who am I?
[24:13]Well, that's what happened to me. That's exactly what happened to me. Yeah, I
[24:17]Didn't have you know, I lost my whole identity and especially also to
[24:22]my identity in my in our twin ship, right?
[24:26]So my identity like differentiating myself from my sister was the I was the soccer player and she was the student so
[24:34]When I lost that it really just I was empty. I was empty for a really long time and that also
[24:39]You know at that time there was no
[24:42]There was zero avenue for a girl to sort of build a career for herself in sports at all
[24:48]There was no women's soccer league yet
[24:49]There was that I don't even think there was a women's basketball yet
[24:52]A league yet and so there was really nowhere to go and if you if I had sort of pivoted and then like okay
[24:57]Well, I want to stay in sports. I want to stay
[24:59]You know, maybe I'll try to work in the NFL like women weren't really working in sports at all
[25:04]At that time, you know, they really weren't in sports journalism yet. So there was just no
[25:09]I totally lost my purpose. I lost like I
[25:13]Lost myself like you know like like you're saying it was it was really hard
[25:17]So I get it. I get it and plus yet and now I'm like
[25:21]Yeah, everything still hurts like what are we gonna do
[25:24]Yeah, he still plays tennis a lot of time
[25:27]You know, I keep trying to that's why I keep hurting myself. Yeah
[25:32]You guys should hang out
[25:35]Related to each other
[25:37]So wait, where is what's what's happened with your sister? Like where is she now? What's her life like?
[25:41]So my sister ended up he she ended up going to medical spend on medical school
[25:45]She got a doctorate in epidemiology, which is like the you know statistical study of epidemics and
[25:51]But then she was studying breast cancer for a long time
[25:55]And I think she just got like burnout on the process of like writing grants
[26:00]And I think honestly she felt
[26:02]Discriminated in a lot of ways because
[26:04]This might this might sound strange, but she sort of doesn't fit the mold of like
[26:10]Even a female science researcher, right?
[26:13]She was a pretty one and you know at the two of us
[26:15]So she was very pretty girls just a very pretty woman
[26:18]And I think people just intake her seriously in that world that she was in
[26:23]And so she got you know, she got got like disenchanted with the whole thing
[26:27]And then so she's done a couple she started working for my dad finally even though which I think is fine because
[26:32]You know when we were teenagers my dad told us like without any kind of emotion
[26:36]And just matter of factly that he would never give his company to a girl and so but my sister just you know
[26:43]She's she's badass and she went to visit school after that after she cut her PhD
[26:49]And she started working for my dad
[26:50]So and then now she runs she has a very cool life
[26:54]They live actually in Yosemite National Park
[26:56]And she and her husband run the general store. The only general store in Yosemite National Park
[27:01]It's called the pine tree market
[27:02]So shout out to
[27:04]Pine tree market
[27:05]It's you know if anybody's around
[27:07]There ever goes to Yosemite. Check it out
[27:09]You'll see my doppelganger there. She'll be sitting behind the counter helping out and helping everybody out
[27:14]Wow. Yeah. Crazy. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's funny because you know
[27:19]The way we started was she was the put together like type, you know, type A
[27:23]I would always matched and you know
[27:25]I was like the grungy one, you know, and now I live in this town
[27:30]That's surrounded by all these women that you know are very done up and always put together very New Yorkie right
[27:36]So I've gravitated towards that and she's gravitated towards like the grungy kind of you know
[27:41]Jeans and a flannel like
[27:44]Lifestyle that I was so it's like you know, we went like kind of like that. It's really strange. Wow. Yeah, like she races tractors
[27:55]You know, it's amazing
[27:57]Yeah, well you have such an interesting story. I'm so glad you wrote it
[28:01]I'm so glad I read it and you did such a nice job of like
[28:05]Taking us along for the ride and I just love it. You like put us right there in the moment and I don't know
[28:11]I was like so proud when you had your kids. I this is a ridiculous, but you know
[28:16]I feel like we got to go through some of the hardest times of your life
[28:19]And so I feel like really excited for you that now you have this book out and and all of that so that must be great and
[28:26]Anyway, so what advice would you have for aspiring authors?
[28:29]Ah, you know, so just keep going just keep going like this took me 25 years to get published and
[28:36]25 years really to find
[28:39]Find the real story that I was waiting for and looking for and then I also was
[28:43]Took like completely
[28:45]Untraditional route to getting published. Actually. I won an award originally in England. Yes. So I won this prize in England
[28:52]And so the book was published first there and then through that I got publisher here in New York
[28:59]So yeah, I would just say you know me as many people as you can keep writing follow your heart
[29:05]You know follow your gut and you know just keep building like your platform and just keep you know
[29:10]Whatever whatever your purpose is like whatever you're a warrior for just, you know, keep going just keep fighting
[29:17]Yeah, well, Susie. Thank you. This was so much fun. I really love chatting with you and yeah, thank you
[29:24]Thank you. I'm like you made my you made my year. I mean, this is like incredible. Thank you so much
[29:30]Uh-oh. All right. Well, I hope to see you soon, but I won't be all made up even though I had a New York
[29:35]I'm like in sweatpants myself. So yeah, not that anyone has to know that
[29:40]I love it. Thank you. Okay. See you soon. Bye. Bye
[29:45]Thanks for listening to this episode of moms don't have time to read books
[29:48]Don't forget to follow me on Instagram at zibi Owens and at moms don't have time to read books
[29:53]Also sign up for my newsletter at zibiowens.com and sign up for my virtual book club and meet lots of authors on zoom
[30:00]every other week.
[30:00]Thanks so much to Steve and Ryan
[30:02]at Texture Sound for the Sound Editing.
[30:04]And thank you to Morning Moon Productions
[30:06]for providing this fantastic intro and outro music.