Jami Attenberg, I CAME ALL THIS WAY TO MEET YOU: Writing Myself Home
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[2:03]Jamie Attenberg is the author of, I came all this way to meet you, writing myself home.
[2:07]Jamie has written about food, travel, books, relationships, and urban life for the New York Times magazine,
[2:12]the Wall Street Journal, the Sunday Times, Slate, and others.
[2:15]All this could be yours was published in 2019 by H.M.H. books and serpents, tale in the UK, as well as an Italy, Germany, China, and Brazil.
[2:23]Her work has been published in a total of 16 languages.
[2:26]Her debut collection of stories in stint love was published in 2006, followed by the novels The Keptman and the Melting season.
[2:33]Her fourth book, The Middle Steins, was published in October of 2012.
[2:37]It appeared on the New York Times bestseller list and was published in 10 countries in 2013.
[2:42]Wow, I feel like that just happened. I can't believe how many years ago it was.
[2:44]It was also a finalist for both the Los Angeles Times book prize for fiction, and the St. Francis College literary prize.
[2:51]A fifth book, St. Maisie, was published in 2015 and has been optioned by Fable Pictures.
[2:56]Her sixth book, All grown Up, was published in 2017 and was a national bestseller, appearing on numerous year-end lists.
[3:04]Welcome, Jamie.
[3:05]Thank you so much for coming on Moms.
[3:07]Don't have time to read books, and so excited to discuss your latest book and all your work and everything.
[3:12]I'm so excited to be here.
[3:13]Thank you for having me.
[3:14]Okay, first, your latest.
[3:16]Please tell listeners what you're latest because about and what inspired you to write it.
[3:21]And then I want to delve into all the stories and essays and everything because oh my gosh, so much to discuss.
[3:26]Okay.
[3:27]Well, it's called I came all this way to meet you writing myself home.
[3:30]And it's it's really a story of developing a creative life for yourself.
[3:37]And, you know, a lot of it is set in my late 30s and throughout my 40s, I just turned 50 like two months ago or a month ago something like that.
[3:46]Thank you very much.
[3:47]I feel good being 50.
[3:48]I'm all right.
[3:49]I'm hanging in there.
[3:50]And so it's really about, you know, it is about being a writer, but I think it's kind of more than that.
[3:54]It's just about sort of uncovering your voice and figuring out who you want to be.
[3:59]And kind of the, you know, the struggles, you know, as a woman and as an American and and as like a citizen of the world to like there's a lot of traveling all around the world in it as well.
[4:10]And so I just, I don't know.
[4:12]I think I was like looking back at my life and I was ready to talk about it and the things that I've learned and the mistakes that I've made to for better for worse.
[4:22]So much.
[4:23]I mean, first of all, I can't believe how many jobs you have done.
[4:26]Like when I read your first chapter is about, you know, the many temp jobs and things you've fallen into over the years on your way to becoming this creative amazing author, right.
[4:36]And all the experiences.
[4:37]So that was like mind boggling.
[4:39]Then your tour over the whole United States in your rattly car, you know, with your snow crunching boots.
[4:45]And you know, the journey, the way you've like described the journey in so many ways from like the lens of beds to trips to, I mean, it's just really amazing.
[4:55]And I don't know.
[4:56]For the minute I started, I was like, oh my gosh, this is fucking so good.
[4:59]So thank you so much.
[5:00]Yeah.
[5:01]I mean, it's not, there's no direct path I think to, especially in the creative life.
[5:05]I don't think there's any sort of, no one says, okay, if you just do a, it's not like going to like med school or something like that.
[5:12]I mean, not that that is easy at all.
[5:14]I'm not right.
[5:15]But you know, there's definitely like, you know, you know what you're going to do the first year, the second year, that kind of thing.
[5:20]For me, I was really just kind of cast out in the world after I graduated from college.
[5:25]And I was like, I don't really actually know what I'm doing or how to become a writer, but I'm just going to kind of fumble my way through it.
[5:30]And I was really inspired by other working artists like working musicians.
[5:34]That's why I went out on the road so much.
[5:36]Let me just go out and see people and meet.
[5:38]I love meeting people.
[5:39]I love meeting people who love books so much.
[5:42]Like we're all just like the same kind of nerd, you know.
[5:45]So I just, and also I think, you know, leading any sort of artistic life, any kind of life really it's about being curious.
[5:53]And I definitely have a curiosity for the world and seeing and just sort of seeing seeing what's out there.
[5:59]Totally.
[6:00]Are you based in New York?
[6:01]Are you in New York now?
[6:02]I moved here about six years ago.
[6:05]Oh, wow, New Orleans.
[6:06]Okay.
[6:07]I was in New York for a really long time.
[6:09]And I thought it was going to be there forever.
[6:11]And then I fell in love with New Orleans.
[6:13]So I'm here now.
[6:15]I just wanted to read just so that people listening know how amazing a writer you are to haven't read.
[6:20]I read the middle students by the way when it came out like forever.
[6:23]So excited.
[6:24]I mean, to even see you had a new book coming out.
[6:26]But I mean, I know you've had some in between and all that.
[6:29]You have this one passage about makeup and how being the daughter of a motherless mother that I loved that whole.
[6:37]I mean, it's not an essay.
[6:38]It's like, I don't know, even how to just chapter.
[6:40]I guess chapter, but they feel like essays in a way because they're so self contained.
[6:44]And I know it was like,
[6:46]people kind of want to call it an essay collection.
[6:48]And I mean, whatever you want to call it is fine.
[6:50]But to me, it just feels like a book of stories about my life.
[6:53]Yeah.
[6:54]Yeah.
[6:55]It doesn't matter.
[6:56]It's not picking up on that because it is kind of a tricky thing, but it's also like just enjoy just.
[7:01]Yeah.
[7:02]Exactly.
[7:04]Well, I mean, it's also hard when you think about your own life.
[7:07]Like you want to put it all like if you're if you're talking about a topic, right?
[7:11]You want to put it all in.
[7:13]That's that I'm not saying that very well.
[7:15]Like when I've been trying to write about like my own life, it's like,
[7:18]like people say like, well, don't like tidy it up with a bow at the end.
[7:21]And I'm like, well, I know.
[7:22]I get it.
[7:23]But like, that's that section.
[7:24]Now I want to move on to like this section.
[7:26]So it can be tricky.
[7:27]It's really hard to work it.
[7:29]I mean, I wrote this book was 20,000 words longer.
[7:32]The first draft.
[7:33]Okay.
[7:34]And so then I, because I, you know, I was like, I just have to write it all down.
[7:38]That's what my editor said to me.
[7:40]Just put it all down there and then we'll carve out a story from it.
[7:43]And so really there's like a much more x-rated version.
[7:47]Oh, I don't know.
[7:49]I mean, whatever.
[7:50]You know, like, it's, it's, I'm glad that I wrote it all, I got it all down there.
[7:54]But you have to sort of, at some point, it's not, it becomes less about you and more about how are you communicating this story to the world.
[8:00]And what do you want people to take away from it?
[8:02]So that's, that's when it gets tricky.
[8:04]Like the, the putting it into a box kind of thing.
[8:07]Because life is not put into a box at all.
[8:10]There are no easy endings.
[8:11]There's usually you don't even get a sense of closure.
[8:14]Like that's kind of a, the myth that we aspire to, but it's really difficult.
[8:17]But actually, you still have to, when you're writing it, we still have to figure out a way to like present it to the, to the world.
[8:23]Yes.
[8:24]It's hard.
[8:25]Writing is hard.
[8:26]Writing is hard.
[8:27]Yes.
[8:28]Sorry.
[8:29]I've interrupted you.
[8:30]Interrupt to me.
[8:31]What do you, by talking about writing?
[8:32]No, no.
[8:33]Oh, boy.
[8:34]I love it.
[8:35]Okay.
[8:36]No, it's, it's, and writing about your own life is a particular brand of hard.
[8:40]Right.
[8:41]I mean, there's fiction.
[8:42]And, but when you're mining the data is only from your memory essentially.
[8:47]Are you writing a memoir?
[8:49]No.
[8:50]I am.
[8:51]Well, it's coming out in July.
[8:53]So I should say I'm finished.
[8:54]I mean, it isn't anish, I'm doing copy edits and, you know, I don't know.
[9:00]Yes.
[9:01]But I did it.
[9:02]But I've been writing and rewriting some version of this since like 2003.
[9:06]You know,
[9:07]because it's my life, you know, it's like, it just, you have to keep rewriting because things,
[9:12]new things happen.
[9:13]And.
[9:14]So I think that like, yes, everything sort of can change.
[9:17]Like I have stuff that I wrote about in the book that definitely like changed after the book was done.
[9:22]Like there were, there were new things that happened after.
[9:24]And I was like, well, it was true when I wrote it.
[9:26]Like that became my mantra after I finished and turned it on the copy edits.
[9:29]I was like, nothing I can do now.
[9:30]This was it.
[9:31]And I had to like, end it somehow.
[9:33]And I also think that it's, it's good to write about things over a long period of time and then look back at it.
[9:40]Because how we feel about things in the moment is so different than how we feel about things in retrospect.
[9:45]And the wisdom that we get throughout the years is really important to having a proper, proper reflection on our lives.
[9:52]Yes.
[9:53]That's all very true.
[9:55]And yet still very hard.
[9:56]And it's so hard.
[9:57]It's hard.
[9:58]Yeah.
[9:59]And actually.
[10:00]terrified to like I have to go in and do that it's but I don't want to read it again because I know
[10:05]I'm gonna find like a thousand other things I want to like totally change so I don't know it's like
[10:10]sitting over there I don't want to touch it. So it's so hard you just have to you just have to say
[10:15]I'm done now like and give yourself permission to be sort of done and done with this
[10:20]portion of your life too and and then also there's a thing of like a year after the book comes
[10:26]out you're gonna feel totally even with my fiction I feel totally different about it a year
[10:30]later whatever I was trying to say that now I see oh I had my blind spots about myself my opinions
[10:36]and things like that and so this I don't even really want to I'm glad you're gonna read from it
[10:40]right now because I am not ready to read from it oh my gosh it's so good it's so good there were so
[10:46]many times I stopped and I was like screenshotting which is like you know the electronic equivalent of
[10:52]underlining. Alright well this is just one random paragraph but I just thought it was so beautifully
[10:57]written the only kind of makeup I have ever really loved is lipstick I love all the right colors
[11:02]wild hysterical pinks that turn a dull outfit up poke a hole in a gray day or bright sexy
[11:08]sultry reds that stain my lips for hours marked in some way I like the way lipstick can interact
[11:13]with my eyes which I feel most of the time are happier on their own undressed I like thinking
[11:18]about my mouth after many years I'm not thinking about it at all a thing I like on my face
[11:23]I can confirm it my mouth I will decorate that it took me many years to arrive at that place
[11:28]to find a thing I wanted to paint mm it's so good okay that was so great I do love lipstick don't
[11:38]yeah oh my gosh I have a few more I'm gonna keep reading you said even when sadness is not
[11:44]stated of course it can be deeply felt a shroud of sadness is how I have thought of it described
[11:49]it to people as I got older I just like that shroud of sadness oh okay last one well maybe not
[11:54]last one but something else you said there are plenty of reasons why I write this is just one of
[11:58]them the sense that I want to own something own my work own my creativity own my name it is perhaps
[12:05]not the purest reason not truest of heart for there is some ego attached to it but it is real
[12:10]I own these words I own these ideas here is my book it's so good Jamie oh my god I just
[12:18]I mean how can you read that and not want to like be like this is going to be amazing thank you that's
[12:23]nice for you and you did a very good reading oh thank you yes I can keep going but you know
[12:28]I'm for hire you did just let me know I'll show up next time you go on your red trip around
[12:34]I'm happy to show up you know one of the sort of themes I guess are from the motherless
[12:40]daughter section of the book which I found so interesting right this whole like is everybody
[12:45]nowadays is like inherited trauma this and blah blah blah blah but yours is like what do you do
[12:50]when you grow up having lost something you never even knew like and what is that absence due to
[12:55]your present and how does that form who you are is like a woman and a daughter when there's this
[13:01]hovering loss so I don't know maybe you could just talk a little bit more about that well I mean
[13:08]when I read it in fiction a lot I taught I write a lot about families that's usually how
[13:13]people know me for writing about these dysfunctional families and I think a lot about like what we
[13:17]kind of take from our parents and what we blame our parents for and how long we're allowed to
[13:23]blame our parents for anything at all and so it was for me I you know my mother had mother
[13:29]passed away when she was really young and and so she was just she missed her you know I think she
[13:36]missed her and I don't want to speak on my mother's behalf but it's something that is felt when
[13:40]someone out someone in your life is like missing somebody else or you have a I think it's sort of
[13:44]still an empathy in me as well probably feeling that way about her like noticing this and there
[13:51]was sort of like a hovering ghost in a way you know that shroud that you're talking about like she
[13:56]wasn't there but like she was sort of felt or her the idea of her was felt and so I think it's
[14:01]about like acknowledging that other persons feelings and sadness and and learning from it but then
[14:08]kind of not taking it on yourself too much do you know what I mean it's yeah it's about kind of moving
[14:14]on from it and like every experience in my life whether it's good or bad Molly's like what did I
[14:19]learn from this and also how do I get to move on from it too yeah that's I mean yes in calmer
[14:26]moments that's what I take out of those situations yeah even that you had a line about your
[14:32]grandmother and you did this beautiful sort of examination of her photo and you said you know I am
[14:38]childless and one day what is going to happen to this picture it's going to end up in the
[14:43]garbage somewhere and of course like really all of our stuff is going to end up in the garbage one day
[14:48]I think about all the beautiful books behind you on the shelf I'm like looking at them going I
[14:53]hope somebody like keeps them I don't know if you have kids or not but oh yeah because it's
[14:57]another show so yeah so hopefully they'll hold on to all those books before you have four kids
[15:08]yeah it's all like it's all it's all just objects so it's like how do we like enjoy the things
[15:12]that we have while we're still alive and but also I want to say like as a book person like
[15:19]the greatest thing about books is that they have like an incredible lifespan because how many books
[15:23]do you pick up on a stoop you know or like check out of the library at Live in the Library
[15:27]Forever or like stuff that you read in high school that you still remember years and years later
[15:32]and you you know you can bond with somebody over that kind of thing yeah just read Mrs. Bridge ever
[15:37]and Mrs. Bridge it's such a good book and I've had so many people tell me to read it over the years
[15:41]and I finally read it in my book club that I'm in and it's like I think one of the greatest
[15:46]books I've ever read and it was like published you know decades ago and I just if it wasn't for
[15:50]this book club I wanted to pick it up do you know what I mean and and it's still alive
[15:54]and somebody's still putting it out there so you know objects are I don't know they're they're
[15:59]important but also yeah they can go in the car garbage too yeah I mean having cleaned out
[16:07]people's apartments with those who have passed away a couple times you know like you realize that
[16:11]everything just needs to be sorted right like once I did that for the first time I was like
[16:16]I've never looked at things the same way right like I don't want to who's going to have to go
[16:20]through all this stuff like did did you write about this did I write about this I mean I wrote about
[16:25]it a little in my memoir and I would write about that yeah you could write up not that I want
[16:31]to tell you what to do but you could like you wrote about a little bit in your book so like for me
[16:36]like I'm writing all these essays right now and there's stuff that I like wrote about a little
[16:40]bit in my book that I'm kind of expanding on to write and that you know this is sorry this is like
[16:45]business talk whatever but don't say sorry I love it it's like my life if you should I think you
[16:51]should when your book comes out you should write a bigger essay about what you just talked about
[16:57]and so there's a little bit of in your book and then I would just like expand upon it and write
[17:01]about it in a really big way because you kind of sparked up thinking about it so I feel like there's
[17:06]more to tell in that story so this is my prescription for you is to write about and I would write
[17:13]it for like you know real simple okay that's who I would write it for I have an essay coming out
[17:18]in real simple actually though oh hey might not let me write another one but something like that
[17:24]you know what I mean like I think it's it'll it's just like it allows you it's like an object
[17:30]that allows you to put a bunch of emotions into it or the set idea that and I can see it in your face
[17:35]podcasts I know but I can see it in your face that you feel something about that and actually
[17:40]I've never had to do that before organize somebody's office or organize somebody's life like that
[17:46]tell me sorry tell me more about it first of all you're amazing second of all I'm so glad because
[17:51]normally when I'm interviewing people or you know on this podcast or ever I'm always the one being like
[17:56]I think you should write an essay about this like I feel like I'm always telling people like
[18:00]you should write an essay about that and it's people aren't usually telling me that so I
[18:04]love it that you said that to me you know because it's true and yeah I will I'll write an essay about
[18:10]but anyway yeah okay yeah so why did we bring this up why was I doing objects you
[18:16]oh because because of what you said about your grandmother's picture yeah and sort of the
[18:21]how life just sort passes us by and what what does happen to everything right anyway but I think
[18:27]what you're saying too about books being able to transcend time I was just talking to somebody
[18:33]yesterday about you know like pictures and all that and where do you keep videos and right all of
[18:38]the changing technology everything else that is not printed and in hand is lost right I'm like oh no
[18:46]I'll never lose those emails I'll just put them in this folder and now I can't even find the
[18:49]inbox from that computer and whatever and yet you know the letters from my grandmother or the books
[18:55]on the shelf like is the only thing we can really transcend time forever and that doesn't get lost
[19:01]yeah for sure I've just sort of given up on everything except for my for my books like in terms
[19:06]of what I'm leaving behind for my words like I don't like I think like I have my Twitter account
[19:11]set up to auto delete every once a week what I just I've just arrived at a place where I'm like
[19:17]I love your I love your tweets but I was like this is not my best work at all and so I just decided
[19:22]it's it's and it's not really what I want to be putting out there like I think it's funny and it's
[19:28]and I've had other people argue with me about it other writers are like that's the whole point
[19:32]of it it's supposed to be kind of carefree and careless but I've been on social media for like
[19:36]an online for so many like for since like the late 90s that's when I had my first like website
[19:42]blog online journal whatever it was called then online journals is what it was called then
[19:46]and I don't I don't know I just think my books are my best the best thing that I do and that's
[19:51]the thing I want people to like remember me for so and I put so much work into them and I don't
[19:57]'t put any work into my Twitter account at all
[20:00]so it's fun though. I'm not like saying like Twitter, I mean Twitter is evil in many ways,
[20:07]but like I have gotten so much out of it and I've met so many people and I talk a lot
[20:13]at a little bit in the book later on in the book about how I like I'm able to, you know,
[20:18]how it's expanded my life, all the friends that I've met online, all the other writers,
[20:22]like the way that it's opened up the world to me, although I will say to my credit, it's because
[20:27]I'm open to it, right? Like I think some people can go on social media and it's just this
[20:32]tiny little box and they just want to be stuck in this little box and they want to like
[20:35]great, great, great, or you know it's not they're not really using they're using it in a way that
[20:40]is different the way that I use it. The way that I use it is like this is just an extension of like
[20:44]who I am as a person in an artist and I always think there's like the spectrum of writing that I have
[20:51]and on one end is like a tweet and on the other end is a book and then in between it's like,
[20:55]you know essays and Instagram posts and I have a craft newsletter that's kind of in the middle
[21:00]of all of that and and so the stuff that's on the tweet end is like not great. It's just not
[21:07]great. I mean it's good if it entertains people but it's not great so anyway it's what you want to
[21:13]use it for. I like to use it to in a weird way even though it's just a screen I like to use it to
[21:18]help me get closer to people. I don't think that's weird. I think a lot of people use it that way.
[21:23]I think that people are desperate for connection right now and on the producing side and the
[21:28]consuming side, consumption, production, whatever. Like I think it helps because like the things you
[21:34]write about on Twitter and what did you say to say to say is it something like you know like I've
[21:37]just had all this coffee and I'm doing all these emails and it just made me laugh because that's how
[21:44]I feel. I'm like sometimes I go on these email tears and I'm just like okay I've done like 100 emails
[21:50]like 20 minutes. What if people receive the thing? You know I'm like you know so it's that instant
[21:56]relatability. Right because you're writing about like these little moments right that everybody kind
[22:01]of feels and thinks or it's true yeah yeah I tweeted this morning that I talked to the guys in
[22:07]the coffee shop so that I would have someone to talk to before I talked to you. Oh no. I didn't want
[22:14]to know because it's you just never know what's going to come out of your mouth first thing.
[22:18]So you got to you got to have a practice run first you know. So the coffee shop guys are the
[22:23]practice for me. So what did you guys talk about? We talked about what they did for Thanksgiving.
[22:29]We talked about if they had any plans for New Year's. They don't have any plans for New Year's.
[22:33]Yet we talked about Zoom meetings and they're very young and they were like every time I
[22:39]look at myself in a camera I'm like can't believe how haggard I look and I'm like you guys are like
[22:44]they're like babies they're in their 20's they're so cute with their little scruffy beards and
[22:47]everything like that. So we talked about that and that was it that was enough and I thank them
[22:53]I took a bone for my dog because they have free bones for dogs. That was my morning dog is right here.
[23:00]Oh my dog. It comes in podcast companion. Oh that's good. So what so the essays you're working on
[23:11]now are they for a collection or you're just doing them for fun or you're publishing them one off
[23:16]for what are you thinking. I have just like a couple I mean I'm working a novel now and but then I've
[23:21]had to write some essays for to promote the book right. So I did an essay for real simple. I did
[23:29]do one for real simple. That is about how I threw a fancy 50th birthday party for myself. I'm really
[23:36]excited about that. I had such a good time at my birthday party. I was like it was kind of like wow
[23:41]like I had all these people come in from out of town and we were all like is it going to happen?
[23:45]Is it not going to happen? Because there's so many things along the way that I've gotten
[23:49]gotten in the way. So anyway that's it about that and then I wrote a piece for Guardian Books.
[23:56]I don't know if I'm allowed. Well this will come out after everything's out. So and that I really
[24:00]love and it's coming out on New Year's Day. Huh. And it's it's just about it's kind of like almost
[24:06]like the book in like a really small 2000 word essay but it's it's just about how I just about
[24:13]carving your own path. I mean I really had such a like weird way to get to where I am now but there
[24:20]really is no normal way to get there. So I mean I did all these you know I lived all over the country
[24:27]and I and I didn't really start focusing on my rating until I was in my early 30s and I did all
[24:33]you know I did do all these like millions of office jobs and things like that. And then once I
[24:37]started I just loved it so much. I mean it's just like the most fun thing in the world right
[24:43]and I just all I wanted was just to do that. But even the first couple of books that I wrote
[24:48]just didn't even really do that well. It wasn't into my fourth book The Middle Steams that I
[24:51]actually started to like get somewhere with my writing. So where it got recognized in a bigger way and
[24:57]I finally got my New York Times Book Review and all those like I three books with no New York Times
[25:02]Book Review. I don't know if any books get reviewed by the New York Times. I was going to say most
[25:06]people don't get reviewed by the New York Times Book Review. Maybe people listening. I don't know.
[25:11]I feel like most people have other podcasts maybe do but most generally people do not. I mean
[25:16]you can write lots of books and not get on. So anyway it's true. You can be like you know sometimes
[25:22]it's fun when like somebody wins a big award and then the New York Times Book Review has to like
[25:26]go back and like review it because I haven't reviewed it yet because you know they have a
[25:30]finite amount of space and everything all the review sections obviously have like shrunk in the
[25:34]last however many years. I mean when I started out my first book came out in 2006 and it was like
[25:40]you could tour America. It made sense to tour America because all these new local newspapers have
[25:46]reviewed sections and you could do local press and you know what I mean? Like there was like so much
[25:51]to do and now it's like there's only like I like to go to all these places obviously during the
[25:57]pandemic you can't really do very much but I like to go to all of these places because I think it's
[26:01]I don't think you should have to live in New York in order to have access to that kind of thing.
[26:06]like I like going to like small university towns and things like that just to meet people. Also like
[26:11]if you just were only in New York and LA or something like that you would just only ever meet
[26:16]the same kind of people. Do you know what I mean? So like we're supposed to be writing about the whole
[26:21]world. What do you mean then? No I'm kidding. Right? You're supposed to like have like an
[26:27]eye towards that anyway. I don't want to tell people how to live their lives but I think it's like
[26:31]important to like see the whole world is what I'm trying to say. But yeah so you could go into all
[26:35]these kinds of like cool little events and little towns and then it's like and there's
[26:39]and you still can't really but in terms of like a New York publisher they're not going to like
[26:44]it doesn't feel crucial to them. Well I guess they justify it. I am sorry I started my own publishing
[26:49]company. I don't know if you know it's called Civi Bags and we launched we announced in September
[26:53]but like one of the things maybe I shouldn't even say this but we wanted I want to make like
[26:57]the Zimobile and like tour the authors and like have us all go all over to like all the towns and
[27:03]we have all these ambassadors and all these places and I want to go to like have them go or have
[27:07]me go or whatever and just like I don't know. Yeah to see what it's all about. Yeah because it's like
[27:12]you know what like Chapel Hill is like so many amazing readers in Chapel Hill. Like anytime I've
[27:20]ever gone there or people that I know there like they're like psyched to have you know people come
[27:26]through. I'm not saying that's a small town. It's a small city in New York is all I'm trying to say.
[27:30]but like there's so there's just people out there who are really like how long before I've done
[27:35]events like literally small town and people will drive from hours to go just to like you know because
[27:42]they know me from online or they've read my books or whatever it is or I do this like this thousand
[27:47]words of summer project that I do that you know I've been doing it for like four years and so there's
[27:52]people who do it and it means something to them in different places so it's I mean I can't go to
[27:57]everywhere and really right now I can't go to anywhere or not that many places but it means a
[28:02]lot to me when I'm out there it definitely means lots to me when I'm going out there in the world
[28:06]because it's just my way of connecting because I you know the life of a writer truly is just sitting
[28:12]at home by yourself so much of the time begging the coffee shop guys to talk to you for a minute you
[28:21]know for a minute or something like that so and I don't know I definitely feel like not to be
[28:27]cliched about but like life is too short not to meet people or to talk to people or to connect
[28:32]with the world it depends on what you want out of it but for me I like I like to meet people I
[28:37]love that I do too and yes I love how you said that amazing I feel like I could talk to you all day
[28:44]that we're like only have scratched the surface here and I'm like disappointed to have to go
[28:49]and like feel oddly left out that I didn't get to be a part of your 50th birthday even though I
[28:53]met you five seconds ago but anyway you would have loved it I'm sorry I can't wait to read about
[28:59]it what advice would you have for aspiring authors then I will let you go I mean I just think
[29:04]it's like read every day write a little bit in your notebook even if you're not like working
[29:10]I just said that in quotation marks if you're listening on podcast like it's good to like
[29:14]connect with what you're working on you know be forgiving of yourself when you need to be
[29:18]forgiving yourself reach out to people you know it's important to have a community you don't
[29:23]have to be on your own through all of this and I can't tell you like big publishing advice because
[29:30]it's always moving at the speed of light but I can say that it should not be torture or it should
[29:36]you should be you know get something out of it that makes you feel good about yourself
[29:41]I can apply to a lot of undertaking it's just life baby yeah oh my gosh well thank you for
[29:51]starting your day by talking to me and the guys at the shop and this has been so fun and I
[29:56]can see read more stuff and follow along and
[30:00]keep laughing at your tweets and all the rest, so.
[30:02]Thank you, Subi, and good luck with your new publishing house.
[30:06]Thank you, and I will write that essay.
[30:08]You think that's it.
[30:09]All right, I'll see you later.
[30:10]Bye.
[30:11]Bye.
[30:12]Thanks for listening to this episode of Mom's Don't Have Time
[30:15]to Read Books.
[30:16]Don't forget to follow me on Instagram, at Subi Owens,
[30:19]and at Mom's Don't Have Time to Read Books.
[30:21]Also sign up for my newsletter, at Subi Owens.com,
[30:24]and sign up for my virtual book club,
[30:25]and meet lots of authors on Zoom every other week.
[30:28]Thanks so much to Steve and Ryan.
[30:29]Check Texture Sound for the Sound Editing.
[30:32]And thank you to Morning Moon Productions
[30:34]for providing this fantastic intro and outro music.