Mandy Gonzalez, FEARLESS

[1:25]Zibby Owens: Hi. This is Zippy Owens, and you're listening to the award winning podcast, Moms Don't Have Time to Read Books. I'm also the host of Moms Don't Have Time to Lose Weight, and I'm the editor of the anthology, which you should run out and buy, called Moms Don't Have A Quarantine Anthology. All proceeds of that book go to COVID nineteen vaccine research. And I'm the editor in chief of Moms Don't Have Time to Write, a new publication on Medium, and we're accepting submissions, so please send your personal essays there. And if all that isn't enough, you can follow me on Instagram at Zibby Owens and my website is zibbyowens.com. Okay, now back to this amazing podcast. Mandy Gonzalez is the author of Fearless. She has thrilled audiences on Broadway, lit up the screen on television, been published in Harvard Business Review, and started a social movement, currently starling as Angelica Shylar in Hamilton on Broadway. She also recently appeared in Madame Secretary as recurring character Lucy Knox and is known for originating the role of Nina Rosario in the Tony award winning show In The Heights. Mandy's debut album Fearless reached number 13 on the iTunes pop charts. Mandy's also an author, having published a widely cited article in the Harvard Business Review on how to overcome one's fear of public speaking. Most dear to her heart, Mandy is the proud founder of FearlessSquad, a social media movement for inclusiveness and belonging. The movement connects millions of people around the world, encouraging them to be their best selves and helps them empower each other. Welcome, Mandy. Thank you so much for coming on Moms Don't Have Time to Read Books to discuss Fearless. Thanks, Sibby. It's wonderful to be here. What a treat. So could you please tell listeners what Fearless is about and what inspired you to write this novel? Yeah, absolutely.

[3:07]Mandy Gonzalez: So Fearless follows the character Monica Garcia, a talented seventh grader who loves to sing and dreams of a life on Broadway. And along with her abuelita, we follow their journey from a small town in California to opening night on Broadway. And along the way, Monica meets her Fearless Squad. And together, they learn that anything and everything is possible, especially on Broadway. And it's just so much fun and such a great adventure. I like to call it a little bit of a Broadway adventure because it definitely is a love letter to Broadway. Because I, like Monica Garcia, had a deep love of music, and I also dreamed of living a life of working on Broadway from a very, very young age. And I was really lucky because I had a grandma who loved musicals. And so we would listen to old cast albums on records. Remember those? Yes. We would watch Broadway musical, like Broadway movie musicals together. And I really just fell in love with these incredible stories, but also these, like, belty torch singers. So one of my favorite singers from the time that I was about that I can remember that I was about, like, six was Ethel Merman and Judy Garland, Edie Gourmet. I mean, these are the people I listened to with my grandma. And so it only felt right that when I was creating this theater on Broadway that I titled the theater, the Ethel Merman Theater because I feel like she is a performer who gave her entire life to Broadway, and she deserves her own theater. So I was like, there's no theater for her, so I'm gonna make it. And so, really, that was my inspiration in creating the story, trying to create a story for someone like me that was in middle school that didn't have an arts program but had this love of musical theater and didn't have, like, a squad to find where I could express that, you know? And listening to these old albums and watching these movie musicals, I was constantly looking for names and characters that look like me, and I did not have a lot of luck in that. And so it was important for me to write this story and to create stories so that kids can see themselves in the arts. To know that a life in the arts is possible, and it's full of things that you could never imagine, like superstitions and traditions and all of these things that I felt made it feel like home for me. So I hope that when these young readers and, you know, any age read it, that they feel like, oh, Broadway is a place for me too. Like, that's somewhere I wanna go. And now that Broadway is kind of reopening, I hope that when they read it and they come to Broadway or they go to a theater in their town, they start looking around going, Is there a ghost in here? Or what was that? Did that door move by itself? And because really, that's what it is, you know? And when I was a kid and I would go camping with my parents because I'm from California, and we'd go to Yosemite every year in the summer, and we my dad would tell ghost stories and people would be like, oh, it's so great, you know, campfire stories. Like, my dad would tell stories like, La Rona, like the woman in the, like, the lake that haunted her children. And, you know, and so I was fascinated by those kind of stories because that's what I grew up with. And then I got to Broadway, and it was like, oh, there's a ghost in the theater and a ghost light. And if you don't touch this on opening night, you know, the whole show could be ruined. And I was like, this is like exactly what my family's like, you know? So I felt like the two worlds totally met when I got to Broadway or when I started working in the theater.

[6:58]Zibby Owens: That's amazing. What an inspiring story. And by the way, you are you are so fun to listen to and watch. And like, you can just tell you're like, you're in the right place being in front of an audience because Oh, thanks. It's so captivating about you and how you talk and present. Anyway, it's really cool to watch. Thanks, Zibby. You're welcome. Okay. Wait. So you're living in California. You're vacationing in Yosemite and hearing ghost stories. Next thing you know, you're like in Hamilton. What how did that happen with no arts program? Okay. Like, I've got plenty of records of show tunes, and my mom dragged me lots of play not dragged. Took me the many some against my will, I will say. But anyway Yeah. But I'm not gonna be a Broadway performer. There's like no hope. So how did you, aside from your immense talent,

[7:42]Mandy Gonzalez: make that leap? What how did you do that? Well, you know, it you sound a lot like my sister and my brother who also listened to those show tunes with my grandma and were like, whatever. Like, my sister's like, I'm just gonna listen to The Cure and Duran Duran. Like, I don't need this. But I was the only grandchild that sang back to those records, and I had a grandma who saw a talent in me and was like, Robin, because both of my parents work full time. I was babysat by my grandma a lot, and I'm the youngest of three. And so I spent a lot of time with her, and she would listen to me. And she's like, Robin, to my mom, Mandy's too loud. Like, she's gonna hurt herself. We have to put her into lessons. And we had no idea what we were doing. Like, I don't come from a showbiz family. My grandma lived in the valley in Tarzana. And so there was this dinner theater that was down the street for my grandma, and we would go to that dinner theater. And it was one of those places where you could have an all you can eat buffet and then go see a show. Perfect. And so it was great. And it had all you can eat pickles. So I love pickles and so does my brother, so my brother would have to come too. Like I said, like, my poor brother, he's but he's totally an inspiration. My sister's name is Monica, so she was an inspiration for this character. And then my brother got really jealous that my sister was in the book. So then I made the character in the musical, Tony, for my brother. So they're both in the book, which is very exciting. But, anyway, so I would go to this dinner theater with my grandma, and my grandma would just go up to people, like, after the show. And she went up to this one woman, and she's like, my granddaughter has talent. My grandma never spoke like that, but I'm just making her like that. But she's like, she has talent, and I have to get her into lessons. Do you teach lessons? And this woman was like, yeah. I'll teach lessons. We saw the Mana La Mancha. And so my grandma started driving me. She would show up with a box of donuts in the morning to pick me up and leave them with my family and then take me for the day, and we would go and do singing lessons. She also found this performing group that I could be a part of that was like a kid's performing group in LA. And it was where I met other kids that liked what I did, like the same things as me. And I loved it. And we performed in malls. You know, I was like Tiffany and we performed in the malls and we did like, I think I performed like Smooth Criminal. We did all these songs from like the '80s and '90s. We were called Rock Theater because we did rock and theater. So it's pretty great. And then, you know, I I went to high school. I really wanted to be a cheerleader. I didn't make the tryouts, and I was devastated. And I was crying at home, and my sister was like, you know, Mandy, you're so dramatic. Why don't you join the drama club? And I was like, I don't know. And then I was like, Okay. And so I joined the drama club, and that's where I really started to perform, with my peers, like people that definitely were the same age. Because in rock theater, there were a lot of kids that were older than me that were already in high school, and I was like a kid. And so in high school, we did, you know, South Pacific, West Side Story, all of those kind of things. And I continued to take lessons outside of school. And my singing teacher at the time told me about this Broadway Theater camp in Florida. And it was run by Anne Reinking, and Gregory Hinds was gonna be one of the teachers, Treat Williams. And I got a full scholarship, and I went to that camp, and it changed my life because it was with kids from all over the country that were the best, you know? And that's what I learned. I learned that it's very important for you when you're in a room to not be the best so that you can grow and learn and get better. And that's when I really was like, so I guess I was about 15 when I'm like, this is what I want to do for a living. And I can like, I see a path for myself. So that became my trajectory. And I continued doing high school theater. I did a show at a community theater. And then I wasn't ready to leave. I was very close to my family, similar to Monica Garcia. I didn't want to leave my parents. And so I stayed and I went to Cal Arts, which was in my hometown. And then I heard about an audition for backup singers for Bette Midler, that she was doing a new show, and that was my freshman year. And I went to that open call, and I got the job. And I left school, and that's when my professional life kind of began. And I left my home. I thought that I would be the kid because I was afraid of things. Like, I thought I would be the kid that would always stay home and close to my parents. And I ended up being the one that lives, like, the furthest away for the longest time. But, you know, when I was with Veth, we came to New York, and she was so great to us. She put us up at the plaza when it was still a hotel. And, you know, like, now it's like condos and all that kind of stuff. And I stayed in we stayed here for, like, two weeks because we played, like, the whole tri state area. And I fell in love with New York, and I was like, this is where I want to go. And so I saved my money from that tour, and then I moved here. And I never stayed at the Plaza Hotel again. I moved to Brooklyn.

[12:55]Zibby Owens: Did you come did you take a subway and, like, come out the way your character did in the book? How, like, she was, like, taking the train and rumbling around and then looking, opening up into New York with these wide eyes

[13:08]Mandy Gonzalez: Yes, absolutely. And, oh, I love that. And that's what I wanted the reader to feel because when I arrived, I really kind of came out in Times Square with my suitcase and I was like, this is it. I made it. You know? And nobody in my family I guess now because I live in Jersey, my parents will take an Uber or Lyft. Yeah. I mean, there wasn't anything like that, but nobody was gonna spend money on a cab from JFK to Manhattan. Like, it was like, well, you could take the subway, so we'll just do that. And so that really was something that I did often when my parents would come to visit when I was coming out for the first time. But when you see Times Square for the first time and you anybody. But if you're somebody that has been dreaming about it your whole life, it's just this magical place. It still is. Like when I get out, and right now, it's so weird because things are boarded up, you know, and that's so weird. But somehow, the naked cowboy is still there, like, in Times Square, like, playing. And and I'm like, well, if he's doing it, we'll come back for sure, you know. But it is this magical place. And when I first came, it was like the cup of noodles and all these different billboards. And now it's so different because there's all these TV screens and, you know, but it's so visually exhausting, you know, like as somebody that's first coming in, it's just like, it overwhelms

[14:34]Zibby Owens: you, you know, and in a great way for me. For me, I like grab the person closest and then like try to hide my eyes and get out of there. It's the same way. It's like too much sensory stimulation or something. I know. Know. He hadn't been in a while and he was just like, We're in the belly of the beast.

[14:55]Mandy Gonzalez: It's so true. It's so true. But when you work there, there's something about skipping around the crowds and knowing how to get to where you need to go. There's something kind of thrilling about that, but also like, like, I know where to go and I know, like, the secret way and, you know, where to get a bagel and then get to my show. Like, you know, it's kind of nice. It's like your college campus, right? It is. It is. It's coming to visit and, like, gets trampled. Right? And you're just, like, jacking from class to class, like, get out of my way. Totally. Totally. Wow.

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[18:45]Mandy Gonzalez: But now, you know, it's so crazy because they have those benches right where the TKTS is, and you can go and, like, sit and relax. Like, when I came, it was like, no. You stand in in line for those cheap tickets and you know, or else you stand in New York. There's no place to go to the bathroom. You know? I found my places. But it's like, no. Like, you gotta stand and walk. That's what it is. Yes. Not very, welcoming at first. Yeah.

[19:13]Zibby Owens: You figure it out or you get out of here. That's Exactly.

[19:16]Mandy Gonzalez: Elbows out.

[19:19]Zibby Owens: So you sort of conquer this whole world and keep rising and getting all these great parts and everything else. And now on top of all that success, you delve into the world of, you know, fiction for middle grade people and then, like, knock the cover off the ball for that too. Like, what else are you not gonna do here? This is like, you know, you're getting in everybody's space. Like I know. I know. Well, I think that I've always been, I guess, like, is it what, like an outlier? Like, I've always been somebody to kind of be on the I've always been a little bit of a loner

[19:54]Mandy Gonzalez: in some ways and always been one that's had to to carve my own way, and I've always been one to try. So and fail a lot. Like, fall a lot, and then I get back up, and I go, Okay, well, let me try this. Let me try that. And I've always been just somebody that's had a creative mind, you know? And my husband is a painter. He shows at Miles McEnnery Gallery. He's an abstract painter. And so I'm constantly surrounded by creativity, and it inspires me. And his work also inspires me because we met at CalArts. So that's one of the best things to come out of that school experience for me, aside from the things that I did learn, but that I met my husband and that we've been together all this time. But to see his work from the beginning, you know, when he was in grad school at CalArts to now, it's constantly evolved and changed. And I think that we as artists can constantly evolve and change. It's only a matter of putting yourself into a box that think people think that you should be in that makes you, go, well that can make you pause and say, well, I shouldn't do that because, you know, because of this. There's so many becauses and reasons you shouldn't do things, but there's also so many reasons you should. And when you do, it just expands. It expands everything as an artist and and makes you, I guess, see a lot further than you ever thought you could go. So that's been, like, my life. And I think coming from where I come from, you know, seeing, you know, my grandparents who came from here from Mexico with nothing and, you know, that immigrant, like, lifestyle and and seeing, you know, hey, you can can go as far as you want to go, you know, and that there were people that made so many sacrifices before you so that you can, you know? So that's always just kind of with me. And I'm just kind of like, okay, this this is right now my path. And I see I feel lucky because it's part of a series. And so right now I'm working on book two, which feels so weird talking about book one. But you know, that's something that I've learned about the literary world. It's very much like, okay, and now we're going on. How many are in the series? Like, much Well, right now, I'm signed for two. So, you know, this next book follows the fearless squad. Monica Garcia will also be a big part of this book, but it follows the story of Rellie Morton who grew up in Harlem. And he is based and inspired by my dear friend, Dorel Grandmoultrie, who I met during my first show on Broadway, Aida, when I was the understudy for Adena Menzel. And I didn't know that when you're an understudy or a swing, a swing is somebody who covers like five to six roles in the ensemble. An understudy covers one role, like I covered Adena, but you're all in the same dressing room. They put you all in the same dressing room, boys and girls, it doesn't matter. And I shared a mirror with Dorel. And anytime somebody would say something shady, we would look at each other and be like, Did you just hear that? Blah, blah, blah. And we became best friends. And he has been my best friend for twenty years. And similar to all of us as artists, he has been a performer, but now he is a choreographer and he choreographs all over the world. But right now he's working on a piece for Alvin Ailey and I think in New York City Ballet, but he's incredible. And so it was really important for me to make this second book, this follow his journey, you know, in this world. And how are you finding the writing process? Do you love it? Like what did you ever have any interest in writing before? Like what's it been like for you? Yeah. Well, first I've always been an avid reader. And that started for me when I was really young because my mom would take us to the library. I was lucky because I have a mom who loves to read. And the library really felt like this gift shop, you know, because you could go in and my mom would leave us at the children's section and she would say, Okay, you can get anything you want. And I think we could get, like, five books. Like, that's what the library let you take out. And I remember having my library card and filling out my book and really feeling like it was this place of treasures, you know, where I could find anything that I wanted and escape into this world. And so I think I've always been I'm an avid reader. I've always been writing stories. My life took a different turn because of my voice and my ambitions and wanting to do this other world. But I started creating these characters after my daughter was born. I started to write stories and I started to write children's stories surrounding these characters. And then I kept writing and I showed my work to a couple publishers in the beginning, and they gave me some incredible advice. And I really listened to them, and I followed that advice, and I kept writing. And then, you know, I started my journey with Hamilton. And I had a lot of young people that were reaching out to me and expressing to me feelings of loneliness and feelings of not having a place to belong. And so I said, Well, if you don't have a place to belong, you can just belong with my Fearless Squad. And I put it out there and I started this social movement where kids could feel like they didn't have to be alone. And it was a very positive place. I made up squad rules. But I felt like I wanted to create stories for these young people. And so I went back to those characters that I started with about ten years ago, and I just started to write. And then I met, I went to a reading at Books of Wonder, and I met my literary agent there. And it was just by chance. And I said, Would you like to read this? And she said, Yes. And it was really that thing of putting yourself out there and trying and why not? And then I was lucky because she said yes. And then Simon and Schuster said yes. And then it was like, oh, god. Like, really have to do this. But I think that it has been such a it's just been so much fun. And it was really great because I finished most of it. You know, the last part of it had to be done during 2020, the last editing part of it. But most of it was done by the time the pandemic hit. So most of it was written at the theater.

[26:19]Zibby Owens: And that I I was surrounded by inspiration, you know, which was was really cool. You know? That's amazing. I have a total favor question to ask, and you can completely and a 100% say no. But I I totally get your Hamilton tickets. No. I'm just No. Don't get Hamilton tickets. I've seen Hamilton multiple times. My daughter, I have four kids, and my oldest daughter who's just about 14 is obsessed with Hamilton. There any way you could sing just like a line or two for her? Her name you don't even have to say her name, but is there anyone's Well,

[26:49]Mandy Gonzalez: I can't put this in the episode now. Oh, got it. Got it. Got it. Okay. A lot of things that I say are, I want to encourage I tell young people to keep the faith right now to be fearless and to know that everything is possible. And whenever you feel like things are too much, just look around, look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now. And work! Cause you got this.

[27:17]Zibby Owens: Yay. Thank you, piece. You

[27:20]Mandy Gonzalez: just like

[27:22]Zibby Owens: made me the coolest mom ever for her. Thank you. How old are your girls? Or boys. I have twins who are about to be 14 next week and a six year old and a seven year old. Oh. Wow.

[27:34]Mandy Gonzalez: That's awesome. And I've been following you on Moms Don't Have Time to Work Out. And I have to say that you've been such an inspiration to me because right now I'm getting ready to go back, you know, on the boards and to go back on Broadway. And I have, you know, definitely gained those COVID pounds. And your Instagram has really been great and given me like a little boost.

[27:57]Zibby Owens: Thanks can't for doing that because I literally am thinking I should just shut that account down. Oh my god. Please don't. I'm like I feel like so like such a sham because I'm like such a bad example. Like for a while, I really felt like we had a movement going and everyone was losing weight together and it had a purpose and then I gave up and now I just feel so ashamed of myself and embarrassed by the whole thing. Oh, Zippy, don't give up. But

[28:21]Mandy Gonzalez: if you need somebody to like, I'll go on and be like, Hey, I love it. I'll give you a shout to like, reboost, but I really love it. So don't give up because Thank you. Sometimes I do feel like that. Like, once I because my daughter just started school three weeks ago, and and once I drop her off, I'm like, do I really wanna go work out, or do I just wanna go drink coffee and, you know, answer emails and do that? But when I look at your Instagram, I'm like, all right. Because you say the same thing. You're like, if you can just take a walk today, if you can just do that. And

[28:53]Zibby Owens: it's inspiring, so don't give up. Okay. Thank you. Okay. Parting advice for aspiring authors, and then I'll let you go. Yeah, absolutely. Don't be afraid to tell

[29:07]Mandy Gonzalez: your story as well because there are parts of your story that you can feel like don't belong or don't make you a part of the world that you think like it should be. But your story is really your superpower and what makes you unique and what is going to make whatever story you're writing yours and yours alone. So don't be afraid to go to those places that make you who you are because you won't regret it. It's a lot of fun once those, a couple of those secrets are out there. Well, this is amazing. I can't wait to see you perform. Where are you going to next be on stage, by the way? Where can we, I will be back at Hamilton. Well, okay. All right. I'll be back at Hamilton in August. I am part of the new Hulu series, Only Murders in the Building, that's coming out. I think it starts in August. And so you can watch me on there. I won't tell you who I'm playing, but it's a lot of fun. Okay. And I had a blast, but that is a new show that stars Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez, and it's hilarious. So I had a really good time filming that during this pandemic. Awesome.

[30:17]Zibby Owens: Okay. Yeah. Wait. Thank you, Mandy. This was so much fun and I just had a blast. So thank you for everything. Thank you, Zibby. And I hope to meet one day in person. Yes, that'd be great.

[30:27]Mandy Gonzalez: Okay. All right. See you on Instagram. Okay. Bye bye. Okay. Bye.

[30:32]Zibby Owens: Thanks for listening to this episode of Moms Don't Have Time to Read Books. Don't forget to follow me on Instagram at Zibby Owens and at moms don't have time to read books. Also, sign up for my newsletter at zibbyowens.com and sign up for my virtual book club and meet lots of authors on Zoom every other week. Thanks so much to Steve and Ryan at Texture Sound for the sound editing, and thank you to Morning Moon Productions for providing this fantastic intro and outro music.