Sarah Jakes, Roberts, WOMAN EVOLVE: Break Up with Your Fears and Revolutionize Your Life

[1:47]Zibby Owens: This is Zippy Owens and you're listening to the award winning podcast, Moms Don't Have Time to Read Books. I'm also the host of Moms Don't Have Time to Lose Weight, and I'm the editor of the anthology, which you should run out and buy, called Moms Don't Have Time to A Quarantine Anthology. All proceeds of that book go to COVID nineteen Vaccine Research. And I'm the editor in chief of Moms Don't Have Time to Write, a new publication on Medium, and we're accepting submissions, so please send your personal essays there. And if all that isn't enough, you can follow me on Instagram at Zibby Owens, and my website is zibbyowenscom. Okay, now back to this amazing podcast. Welcome to another day of my June Book Blast. It is Life Advice Saturday, and these few episodes will help set you on the right course and give you some wonderful thoughts and perspectives on leading your best life. Sarah Jakes Roberts is the author of Break Up With Your Fears and Revolutionize Your Life. Sarah Jakes Roberts is redefining what it means to be a modern woman of faith. Her messages spread throughout the world defying cultural, religious, gender and socioeconomic boundaries. Whether through her bestselling books or viral messages, it only takes a few minutes of connecting with her to understand why she becomes an instant favorite. Sarah has a unique way of reaching people who are seeking to make peace with their past, maximize their present, and deepen their relationship with God. Alongside her husband Torrey Roberts, she co pastors the Potter's House at One LA and the Potter's House Denver. With her down to earth personality, contemporary style, and revelatory messages, there's no question why she is an emerging thought leader for this generation. But her growing influence came by surprise, and you'll have to listen to find out why. In 2017, Sarah launched Woman Evolve, a ministry that focuses on incubating every woman to her fullness. Since its conception, it has been successful at reaching and guiding thousands of women to awaken healing, wholeness and love for themselves. She's also received many honors, including being celebrated as a national overcomer by Pat and Emmett Smith charities in partnership with Good Morning America co host Robin Roberts. She's also been featured in numerous media outlets including the Today Show, Doctor. Phil, Essence, the Associated Press, and the seven hundred Club. A naturally gifted scholar, Sarah graduated high school in the top 10% of her class and in the nation at the age of 16 and attended Texas Christian University where she studied journalism. Sarah is most proud of the life she and her husband Torre built together. They have six beautiful children and split their time between LA and Denver. Welcome, Sarah. Thanks so much for coming on Moms Don't Have Time to Read Books to discuss Women Evolve. Thank you, Zibby, for having me. I'm so excited we're finally able to make this happen. I know. I'm sorry. Sometimes the scheduling gets ridiculous, but I'm thrilled. And congratulations, by the way, since I first heard about this book, you've on the bestseller list, New York Times bestseller. Congratulations.

[4:37]Your Fears: Thank you. It's so surreal, but I feel so fortunate that this message is just reaching even more people. Tell everybody please,

[4:44]Zibby Owens: the message that you feel is so important to get out, what your book's about and what inspired you to go on this journey with Eve and the whole thing.

[4:53]Your Fears: The whole thing. So Woman Evolved for me, I feel is the mantra that every woman is going to have to answer a command that every woman will have to answer as it relates to her identity and her life. Even as moms, we see ourselves transitioning from one version of ourselves into the next version of ourselves. And we don't do that unless we are willing to evolve. And so woman evolve is really a command. And this book is an opportunity to help women really assess what is necessary in order for them to evolve. Let's identify the areas where you're stuck, identify the areas where you know better and aren't doing better. And how do we begin to create healthier habits and routines? You want to evolve on the inside and then your outside begins to reflect what's happening already on the inside of you. That's beautiful. So tell us why write this book. Okay, so I have to tell you, I'm a church girl, I grew up in church, but I always felt like a little disconnected from faith. And it wasn't until I really started my own journey of spirituality that I wanted to really look at scripture differently. And when I started looking at scripture differently, there was one woman that I was always passing over because she ruined it for us all. I didn't feel like Eve had any worth or value as it related to me discovering my own faith and identity. She's actually the woman that I felt like I could relate to the most in the Bible. She is the woman who knew better, but didn't do better. And yet even in that moment, there was still an opportunity for restoration and redemption. And so this moment, this time, this book is my ode really to even any other woman like her, who's felt like I know better, but don't do better and I feel stuck, but most importantly, how do I really tap into that restoration and redemption? And so I studied her life, I studied my own life and through the process of really learning those lessons

[6:46]Zibby Owens: through our stories, I've been able to connect with so many women. So the book is just the capstone to what I've already been doing. So what's like one of the stories you tell the most often or actually don't say that. What's one of the stories you tell the least often that you feel is really inspirational to women or a moment in your life where you were just like,

[7:06]Your Fears: this is what people need to hear. I need to share this with everybody. I'll tell you. Okay, so the story that I've shared the least often, I felt like it's really just come full circle for me within the last year. When I first, I got pregnant as a teenager, I was 13 years old. When I got pregnant, 14 years old when I had my son. I think I spent about ten years after that in just this toxic relationship with self and others and God. But when I first got pregnant, someone said something to me that said, I always knew to expect something like this out of you. And that like took the air out of my lungs. I didn't really know what it was about myself that would make someone say something like that to me. So I learned to really not trust myself. And hence the ten years of the toxicity in my relationships. Well, it wasn't until I had this moment where I've kind of come out of that, I'm really tapping into healing, I'm helping other women really come to terms with embracing their past. I'm going on this tour and I'm supposed to be going on this tour, but I have to tell you, I feel so inadequate. Like how are you going to help inspire women? People have gone through much more terrifying things than you have, or you are not qualified because of what you've gone through. They need someone who's done everything the right way. All of the voices, all of the negativity, just this incredible spiral. And in prayer and meditation, I just heard those words. I always knew to expect something like this from you, but it wasn't said with the negativity that it was said to me when I was a 13 year old girl. This moment was really said to me from this place of knowing that even in that moment when I was sorting through my own fears and insecurities, that there was this greatness and inspiration and motivation down on the inside of me. So that is one of the stories that I share in the book that really just speaks to the idea that these moments in our life that we often feel will change us forever in a negative way are often the very things that are used in order to help us rebuild our lives in powerful ways that we could have never imagined. So true. I interviewed someone recently, and now I I should have written down who it was. But anyway, they quoted someone else, and they said, God never wastes a pain.

[9:14]Zibby Owens: And I wrote that down on a note and I have it like right down here because I feel like that's so true. Anything you go through, like not to say there's some big reason for hardship or whatever, but there's something

[9:27]Your Fears: that's going to come out of it. Like, what is it? Yes, I totally agree. And I felt like when we keep that in mind, it doesn't mean that we're excited to go through things, right? It doesn't mean we're excited to experience pain, but we recognize that if I keep living, I will see the promise connected to this pain. And I have to tell you, I've had, like I've lived so many lifetimes and I'm only in my thirties, but there is not one painful experience that I've had that I cannot see connected to the purpose and promise that I now live in. Even when I experienced pain now, I can't help but wonder what good, what possibility,

[10:02]Zibby Owens: what healing could come as a result of this current pain I'm experiencing. I think being able to look at it that way too, takes you a little bit out of the moment, right? It takes you out of the like, how will I ever get through? Because you know it's leading somewhere else. So I feel like in that way, it almost like helps you get past whatever it is, right? Because you just know you have this faith. There's some reason or something. That sounds really hokey. I'm sorry.

[10:28]Your Fears: But I feel like that trick kind of works for me at least, I don't know. No, I totally agree. I think to myself, like it's so easy to think about, well, what are the worst possible outcomes connected to whatever experience I'm having? But to challenge my mind to say like, what could possibly good come out of this? And this works in instances where it feels like there's nothing but darkness, but the idea of maybe I'm going to be able to help someone avoid what I'm experiencing right now, or maybe someone will feel less alone because I've been able to share my story. Even that light flicker of hope goes a long way in helping us to maintain our faith even in the middle of darkness. So true.

[11:06]Zibby Owens: So you went from being a mom at 14 to a New York Times bestselling author in your thirties. This is pretty amazing trajectory. I mean, forget any anything else, just getting on the New York Times bestseller list, full stop. What do you think propelled your journey the way it ended up going?

[11:26]Your Fears: What I really think propelled my journey, this is so anti what every thing in our culture teaches us is like, never sought to be on the New York Times bestsellers list. I just wanted to be on my best list. I wanted to cultivate a life where when I looked in the mirror, I wasn't ashamed of what I saw. I wanted to embrace my scars and kiss who I've become. And I just decided to share those lessons with other people. And I feel like some of the people who we feel are iconic in our culture are not iconic because they made their life about doing what other people wanted them to do. They made their lives about digging deeper and deeper inside of themselves to listen to that small still voice that tells us who we should be in any given moment. And so I wish I could tell you that I had this incredible marketing branding strategy that took me from where I was to where I am now, but it was really just this authentic desire to do the best that I could with what I have left. And now what I have left just continues to be more than what I could have imagined. Cause now, you know, I have this New York Times bestsellers was like, that's what I have left. But even now it's like, this is not my arrival. I'm like, okay, God, I have this. So what do I do with what I have left now? And so what are you going to do? I'm going to go to bed. I am going to die. I'm so like at a time where I feel like I'm at this crossroad and I'm sure so many people can understand where it's like, you know, you got to stay on top, you got to stay on top. What are you going to do next in order to keep this momentum? And I am going to do the crazy thing of resting because I really do believe from the place of rest and stability that I'm able to make better decisions. And I really want to move with accuracy and clarity, and I want to love on my babies and allow them to inspire me. So I'm going to take a sabbatical in July to really figure out who I am so that what I do is authentic to who I am and not just a reflection of the recent success I've experienced. Good for you. Was expecting you to say like you were going to take a year off. You're like, I think I'm going to take vacation in July. Well, we'll see. We'll see. I'm going to start with July and see what happens after that.

[13:40]Zibby Owens: So I would imagine the best part of this whole thing for you is knowing how many women you're helping and affecting. What does that feel like?

[13:49]Your Fears: Girl, you know, it's very surreal because I have these moments like I don't feel like who people see me as. I feel like, bro, I'm on this journey just like you. I'm trying to figure it out. I feel like I'm passing notes in the classroom of life to other people to help them because they didn't get a chance to study or they didn't know that something was going to be on the test. And then to have those people come back and tell me that like, you're the reason why I graduated. You're the reason why I made it through. It feels so humbling, so honoring. That's kind of what I want to soak up because I think, I don't know, it may just be me, but I have these moments where I like, is this working? Is it valuable? Is it worthy? I think that we have those feelings because we don't really soak up those moments where people say, this is changing my life. That's part of what I want to do is like, I want to sit in the revelation that like, I've put something in the earth that has radically changed people's lives and allow that to feed me in the areas where I know I often battle with insecurity.

[14:51]Zibby Owens: Interesting.

[14:52]Your Fears: And what is your relationship like now with the church? You said you started, you were like, I was a church girl. How about now? I'm still a church girl. I'm still a church girl. I'm creating space and environments for people who often have maybe felt rejected or unheard in spaces of faith. Try to be an avenue. At the end of the day, my goal is to get people to die. I'm not trying to turn someone into a church girl or a church guy, but if I can help them feel closer to God or to feel closer to themselves so that they feel more comfortable on their journey and their pursuit. That's

[15:25]Zibby Owens: my goal. Aw, that's amazing. It's so great when you meet people who have such an altruistic mission. I mean, it really sounds like that's the place from which you came that it's, you just wanted to share your story for good. And you know, it wasn't any sort of calculation and I don't know, it's just really great. You can feel it when it's true. Thank you. Yeah, I'm still, I'm trying to figure out because I know there's just this big,

[15:50]Your Fears: tell your secret and give us your marketing plan and give us your strategy and it feels so accidental that it takes time for me to really sit back and say, okay, well, what did I do that may have been more intentional that can help people who feel like they have a story that's worthy of sharing, but it does very much so feel like I stumbled into something that was bigger than me and I love it.

[16:13]Zibby Owens: Now you fit just fine. It fits perfectly.

[16:18]Your Fears: Five stars highly suggest that you'll love the environment. It's so amazing.

[16:24]Zibby Owens: So tell me about your writing process. What was it like actually writing this book? And did you how did you attack it? Did you outline it? Did you know, like basically where it was going? Know. Tell me that. Okay. So I outlined it just like an old school English paper. Like I've got my Roman numerals. I've got my bullet points. We go into the sub topics

[16:43]Your Fears: on my outline. And then I just did that in our writing. So I wrote it during the pandemic. All of my children were at home. I didn't go somewhere where I wasn't bothered. I had this balcony that was completely unfurnished at our house and I just began sneaking out there. Sometimes I would be sitting on the floor because if I'm on the balcony, they don't know where I am. Then they start figuring out where I was. But anyway, I wrote the book and writing for me has always been an opportunity for reflection. It's not something that necessarily requires me to go into this zone and completely become someone different. It's the way that I breathe. I love words, I love putting my heart on paper, I love connecting the dots for people. So if I have some quiet and I can be left alone for a little bit, the words just flow. And I'm so passionate about this. It's literally what I do with my life that I felt like the words were pent up inside of me. They were just waiting to be released. And when they were released, you know, I was really pleased with what came out on paper. That's great. Yeah, I felt like at times you were just talking to me, you know, like I was like, bet this is like, if I were sitting here, she might be saying, like you could just, the passion and the, you know, it was great. It was very direct,

[17:54]Zibby Owens: but full of information and relating to scripture and then talking about your thoughts on everything and your life and all the mix of everything was well done. That means a lot to me. So having gone through this book process, what advice would you have for aspiring authors?

[18:12]Your Fears: That writing a book is actually the easy part. When we have an idea and we finally decide to put pens and paper, we feel like when we finish the book that everything is kind of smooth sailing from there. But writing is the easy part. When you are exposing your thoughts, the way that you show up in life, your secrets in business or parenting or whatever to the world, there's this vulnerability connected to it. When it's just between you and the computer screen, it's very intimate, but when it's time for it to go out into the world, that's when you can begin to feel very vulnerable. So I would give advice to the person that says to think and write on something that you would stand by regardless of the room that you're in, because at the end of the day, that book is going to go into rooms that maybe you thought you would never be in and you want to be able to stand by your content and to never make what you're writing about the accolades that could come. Make your writing about what is in me that has to get out of me and I don't care if one person reads it or a million people reads it. What matters the most is that I am obedient to releasing it into the earth. Because when we make our success contingent on like whether or not it hits a list or whether or not thousands of people buy it, it can make us feel like our success is determined by other people's reception of us. And I feel for writing to be pure, for it to be authentic and powerful, that it has to be about obedience and not, you know, validation from other people. I love that writing as an act of obedience. That's nice. Yeah. Because

[19:44]Zibby Owens: then you're like, well, I guess I better do it.

[19:47]Your Fears: Right. Right.

[19:49]Zibby Owens: I would not want to be disobedient. Exactly. I don't want to break any rules. So here I go, opening up Microsoft Word. Awesome. Well, Sarah, thank you so much. Thanks for talking about your book. Congratulations again, Women Evolve and this amazing suit you have here. I feel like I need to raid your wardrobe with all these jackets. I mean, like, I don't even have a blazer, don't think, but they look great on you. Thank you. All right. Well, congrats and good luck and thanks so much for coming on. Thank you. Take care. Okay. Bye bye. Bye. Thanks for listening to part of my June Book Blast. I hope you enjoy it. Come back tomorrow Thanks for listening to this episode of Moms Don't Have Time to Read Books. Don't forget to follow me on Instagram Zibby Owens and at moms don't have time to read books. Also sign up for my newsletter at zibbyowens.com and sign up for my virtual book club and meet lots of authors on Zoom every other week. Thanks so much to Steve and Ryan at Texture Sound for the sound editing, and thank you to Morning Moon Productions for providing this fantastic intro and outro music.