Jesse Q Sutanto, DIAL A FOR AUNTIES
[0:00]Hi, everybody. I have some exciting news, but I need your help. I was nominated for a Webby award which for those of you who have been listening to this podcast for more than two years might remember
[0:11]I was nominated for two years ago and tried desperately to win the People's Choice Award then, which I didn't, but at that time I was like going to the guy at Joe and the juice behind the counter asking him to vote for me and anyone I could.
[0:24]So now I'm coming to all of you to ask you to please vote for moms. I don't have time to read books to win the People's Choice Webby Award for Best Live podcast.
[0:33]If you go to vote.webbyawards.com, again, that's vote.webbyywebbyawards.com and then go to the little magnifying glass search thing on the upper right.
[0:49]All you have to type in is search my name or entry and just type in moms and it will come up and then you can click on the Best Live podcast recording nominee and vote for me.
[0:59]Also, by the way, I won honoree for Best Influencer, which is crazy.
[1:04]Anyway, thank you for voting. I really, really would appreciate it. I would love to win the People's Voice Award especially after trying so hard and failing two years ago.
[1:13]So if you could just take a few minutes and vote, I would be so grateful. You could email me after if you won at info at zivyowans.com and I will say thank you to you via email myself because I'm so grateful.
[1:26]So email me if you've done it, post about it. I'm just I would be so grateful. Thank you.
[1:35]Hi, this is Zivyowans and you're listening to the award-winning podcast. Moms don't have time to read books.
[1:40]I'm also the host of Moms don't have time to lose weight and I'm the editor of the anthology which you should run out and buy called Moms don't have time to a quarantine anthology.
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[2:00]So please send your personal essays there and if all that isn't enough, you can follow me on Instagram at zivyowans and my website is zivyowans.com.
[2:08]Okay, now back to this amazing podcast.
[2:30]And 30 aunties and uncles, many of whom lived just down the road. She lives in Jakarta with her husband and two daughters.
[2:37]Welcome, Jesse. Thank you so much for coming on Moms don't have time to read books to discuss dialing for aunties.
[2:45]Thank you so much for having me.
[2:47]Jesse, this book was so funny and so entertaining. I got such a kick out of it. It's really funny. I loved it.
[2:57]Yeah, I'm so happy to hear that.
[2:59]And I'm not the only one because already it's like number one in humorous American novels or something on Amazon and it has to be.
[3:07]Yeah. Wow. Yeah. How crazy is that?
[3:12]So why don't you tell listeners what your book is about and what inspired you to write it?
[3:18]Okay, so ballet for aunties is about a young wedding photographer who accidentally kills her blind date as you do.
[3:31]And then she has to get the help of her very metal, some mother and aunt to help her hide the body while at the same time catering to the wedding of a billionaire.
[3:49]Good stuff. Oh my gosh. First I have to ask right away. Has this already been optioned as a movie because this seems just like a movie to me.
[3:57]Yes, actually. So the movie right have so to Netflix. So that's really exciting.
[4:03]They have a director attached and a screenwriter. So things are moving along really nicely.
[4:11]Wow, that's exciting and I am not surprised it read just that way. I can't wait to watch it as well. Oh my gosh.
[4:19]So how did you well, how did you think of this and tell me and tell me a little bit more in the beginning of the book you open up more about your own family and how originally your family is from China and you went to Indonesia and I don't even realize there was such a well, anyway, I shouldn't say I didn't realize.
[4:36]You came to.
[4:38]And there was a language issue between you and your parents as they put you in different schools and anyway, some of you are speaking different dialects of Chinese and some Indonesian English and even communication became a challenge.
[4:53]Tell me a little bit about your global existence if you will.
[4:57]Yeah, yeah, so my family is a family of immigrants. We're all, I guess, ethnically Chinese because all of my grandparents immigrated to Indonesia when they were like little kids and in order to like fit into like, you know, the Indonesian culture.
[5:18]They changed like everything like they changed your Chinese names to Indonesian names to fit in better and at first it was like going well.
[5:26]But then in the 90s we had like clashes like ethnic clashes and so then my parents sent me and my brother to Singapore just to make sure that we were safe so my brother and I actually grew up with our cousins in Singapore and the first language in Singapore is English.
[5:44]So that was what we kind of grew up like speaking, so we kind of forgot like our Indonesian, you know, it was so bad.
[5:53]Our Indonesian is terrible.
[5:55]So then when my parents came to visit, it was just like really hard talking to them.
[6:02]They were like, why are you seeking English to us like the Indonesian to us and we're like, you know, I would try, but you know, I would be like,
[6:13]and I have like, you know, that thing and I wouldn't know like what that thing is called. I would like, can I have that like that that that, you know, it's just like super broken and really horrible.
[6:26]And then of course like as teenagers we were just so horrible, you know, and we would like make fun of our own parents when they tried speaking English with us.
[6:38]And we'd be like, that's not how like this word is pronounced, you know, and that was just like such a big divide in terms of languages between like the generations.
[6:50]I really wanted to like address that in double a for aunties, you know, but how like in, you know, and their efforts to like give my brother and I like a safer environment to grow up in it kind of led to this divide being created between our generations.
[7:09]So yeah.
[7:10]So your first your first language then was Indonesian correct and then you learned English in Singapore, how did it work or China.
[7:17]So my first language was Indonesian up until like the age of seven, which was when I moved to Singapore and then it became English.
[7:27]And then I have like a seven year old vocabulary of Indonesian like I can't even read like the Indonesian newspaper.
[7:36]And I also I also don't really feel like a hundred percent comfortable speaking English or Mandarin, because you know I picked them up when I was like seven.
[7:48]So I kind of feel like uncomfortable with all languages actually, but I guess I would say I'm most comfortable with English.
[7:56]Let's see that's so ironic because this book is written so beautifully. I mean, it's thank you. You would never know. I mean, wrote it in English right.
[8:06]It's not translated or anything.
[8:09]Well, I don't know. I'm so impressed. I am not a big language person. I took French for like a hundred years and I can barely remember how to.
[8:16]I can remember how to say is like, can I sharpen my pencil, which is like the most useless phrase.
[8:22]You know, there aren't even people to use pencil do they. I don't know. Anyway, so I'm always so impressed with people who have a command of different languages and that you have the sort of trifecta of them.
[8:33]This linguistic trifecta and yet you've written this beautiful book, which is so funny. So bravo, I guess you get even more even more.
[8:42]Thank you.
[8:44]What was your process like for writing this book?
[8:47]It was actually a really surprisingly easy. So I'm I'm a pretty fast writer. So it took me like about six or seven weeks, I think just to get like the draft out.
[9:00]And just writing it was so natural because I didn't know like the aunties personalities before I started, you know, writing it.
[9:10]And then as soon as I wrote like each scene, I was like, Oh, of course, you know, big aunt and like second aunt would have like this rivalry and of course like mom and you know, fourth aunt would just like really hate each other.
[9:25]I have to clarify like not because of my mom and her sisters.
[9:31]He would like murder me.
[9:36]My mom and her sisters get along beautifully.
[9:40]Anyway, I totally believe you.
[9:45]I don't know where I got the idea from.
[9:49]just sibling rivalries.
[9:51]So you know, how they just, yeah,
[9:53]because this is in my head.
[9:55]And so it was like, Oh my God, like, of course, you know, they would be like.
[10:00]I'm making all these night remarks and stuff.
[10:03]And I actually got so carried away with some scenes
[10:08]that I'm like, wait, what's the point of this scene again?
[10:12]Like, you know, because I'm just having too much fun
[10:16]with the aunties, just like arguing with each other.
[10:20]So it was the most fun that I've ever had writing a book.
[10:25]Well, you can tell because you can just tell.
[10:27]There's that it's really fun to read also.
[10:31]And this isn't your first book.
[10:32]So you had, how did you have another book come out
[10:34]like two months ago?
[10:36]Oh my gosh, yes.
[10:37]So I, this is actually, I think my ninth book,
[10:41]and yeah, so I've had a lot of failures along the way.
[10:45]And actually the obsession which came out two months ago
[10:50]was my fifth book.
[10:51]So that sold in 2019, yeah, okay.
[10:57]So it sold in 2019.
[10:59]And then in early 2020, I sold my children's book.
[11:04]And it was so funny because I told my agent
[11:07]like, as soon as it sold, I sold my agent like,
[11:10]oh, you know, forget about it.
[11:12]Like, I just wrote this book, this adult book.
[11:15]And I need you to read that now.
[11:18]Like, please just, you know, drop everything else
[11:21]and just like read this one
[11:22]because I think it's something special.
[11:25]And so she read it and she was like, oh my God,
[11:28]like we have to go out with it now.
[11:30]And we, we went out to publishers with it
[11:33]right as New York went into lockdown.
[11:36]And then I guess everyone was like guaranteed at home.
[11:40]And so everything happened so fast.
[11:43]And then they were like, oh, we wanna publish this,
[11:45]you know, in April of 2021.
[11:47]And we were just so shocked by like how fast
[11:52]everything happened.
[11:53]And so yeah, it just happened that way, I guess.
[11:56]So it's crazy that next year,
[11:58]I will have four books coming out.
[12:00]So we'll see how I cope with that.
[12:03]Probably not very well.
[12:05]So what are those things?
[12:08]So next year, I will have the sequel to Dilever Oncoming.
[12:11]Oh, yay.
[12:12]And yeah, to YA novels and one middle grade novel.
[12:18]So that'll be really fun.
[12:20]It'll be a fun year.
[12:22]So how do you just crank these out?
[12:24]Where do you like to write?
[12:26]Do you outline first?
[12:27]Like what's your process?
[12:28]How do you, and how are you so efficient?
[12:31]Yeah.
[12:32]So I like to say that I'm powered by caffeine and Asian guilt.
[12:39]Which is, I know it sounds silly but like it's so true
[12:43]because literally like about three, two, two,
[12:48]like three months after I sell a book,
[12:51]my parents will be like,
[12:53]so when are you going to sell the next book?
[12:56]And I'll like, okay, the pressure is on.
[13:01]So I do write really fast.
[13:03]I've learned to write really fast ever since I had kids.
[13:08]So I know that like I just have this, you know,
[13:11]one, two, one and a half hours in the morning
[13:15]before they wake up to write.
[13:17]So then I just get up and I'm like,
[13:20]right, really quickly.
[13:22]And then they get, they get up.
[13:24]And that is it.
[13:25]Like my day is done.
[13:27]So ironically, this has kind of pushed me
[13:30]to learn to write really fast.
[13:33]And I do outline.
[13:35]So I find that the more I outline,
[13:37]the more efficiently I can write.
[13:40]So I guess at this point I'm like approaching it more
[13:45]as like, I don't know, like a project
[13:48]than like an artistic endeavor, I guess.
[13:52]Like if that makes any sense.
[13:54]It totally makes sense.
[13:55]Yeah.
[13:56]It's like something you have to get done.
[13:58]It's on your to do.
[13:59]Like you give a busy month something to do
[14:01]and you just do it.
[14:02]Yeah.
[14:03]Yeah.
[14:04]Right.
[14:05]Like I feel like the old me, you know, like pre kids.
[14:10]I have so much time and I wasted it all.
[14:14]Yeah.
[14:15]I know that I like very well.
[14:17]I wrote so much slower.
[14:18]Yeah.
[14:19]And I don't know like what I spent my time doing.
[14:23]I look back at like past me and I'm like,
[14:26]what were you doing with like all that free time?
[14:29]So funny.
[14:31]Somehow though, when there's too much time,
[14:32]it's impossible to be effective.
[14:34]Like you need the press.
[14:35]Sometimes you just need that.
[14:36]Or certain personality.
[14:37]Yeah.
[14:38]It needs the pressure of like finite periods of time
[14:41]to get things done or else.
[14:43]When I have the whole weekend,
[14:44]I get so much less done than when I have three hours
[14:47]on a Wednesday morning.
[14:48]Yeah.
[14:48]So yes, exactly.
[14:51]Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[14:52]Okay. You totally understand because you're,
[14:54]you know, you're running, you know,
[14:55]this incredibly successful podcast.
[14:59]Yeah.
[15:00]Thanks.
[15:00]Which I don't know how you do it
[15:02]because it requires so much like organizational skill.
[15:07]Luckily I have organizational skills.
[15:09]That's good.
[15:10]Yeah.
[15:11]But really I do it because I love it.
[15:12]I mean, how fun.
[15:13]Like I also do things at the same time.
[15:16]I mean, I have to say I read like a lot of your bug.
[15:18]My gym finally opened up in my building.
[15:20]So I could read on the elliptical machine
[15:23]and I could read before bed and I could read.
[15:24]Oh, yeah.
[15:25]You know, so I feel like,
[15:26]and this would go,
[15:27]you know, books go,
[15:28]there's some that take me weeks and weeks
[15:30]and some that I can like power through
[15:33]because they're so like consumable.
[15:35]So I don't know.
[15:36]I think it's just how you use your time
[15:37]and trying to, well, you know, I mean, you know,
[15:40]what it's like, right?
[15:42]Yeah, yeah, exactly.
[15:43]That's so funny that you say you read on the elliptical
[15:45]because I read on the treadmill.
[15:49]That's my reading time.
[15:51]Awesome.
[15:52]With an actual book or with an ebook or how do you do it?
[15:54]With my ebook.
[15:56]Yeah.
[15:57]Like holding up it, holding it up
[15:58]or putting it on the thing.
[16:00]Oh, no, I have like a little stand on the treadmill.
[16:04]I'm like jogging really slowly and then I'm reading.
[16:07]I feel like it's a better workout
[16:09]if I don't use the arm things
[16:11]because then I have to use my cord
[16:13]and not fall off some of the sheets.
[16:14]Oh, that's such a good idea.
[16:17]It's probably a terrible idea.
[16:18]I should not be recognized,
[16:20]but it's true.
[16:21]I'm like, you know, I kind of have to test a little bit
[16:24]as I am reading.
[16:25]Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[16:26]It obviously isn't working.
[16:28]So no, I mean, you look great
[16:31]from what I can see like shoulders up.
[16:34]Yeah, shoulders up.
[16:35]That's how I'm going to live in rest of my life.
[16:37]After this pandemic ever,
[16:38]I'm just going to like get some giant box
[16:41]and like put it right here.
[16:42]And anyway.
[16:44]Oh my gosh, I hear you.
[16:47]Oh my gosh, too funny.
[16:49]Well, having written nine books
[16:51]and having so much on the horizon,
[16:53]which is super exciting,
[16:55]what advice would you have for aspiring authors?
[16:57]Gosh, I have like so much.
[16:59]And it goes more.
[17:00]So difficult to narrow it down, you know.
[17:03]So number one, my number one advice would be like
[17:06]to aim low.
[17:08]Because I feel like a lot of writers
[17:10]have really high standards.
[17:11]And they're like, oh, I have to aim for perfection, you know.
[17:15]And then that kind of makes us procrastinate even more.
[17:18]But as soon as I started thinking like,
[17:21]okay, you know, my first draft can be terrible.
[17:24]And I can just edit it later.
[17:26]That was when the words kind of started flowing for me.
[17:31]So, you know, lower your standards,
[17:34]it's going to be okay.
[17:35]You can fix it later on.
[17:37]That would be my number one advice.
[17:39]And my number two advice would be
[17:42]to make as many author friends as you can.
[17:45]Because they're just the best.
[17:48]They're like the only people that understand,
[17:52]you know, what the journey is like.
[17:54]Because my family and friends, they, you know,
[17:58]I love them and, you know, we love each other.
[18:00]But they just don't really understand like
[18:04]what it's like to be, you know, querying agents
[18:08]or being on submission to publishers, you know,
[18:11]all the ups and downs.
[18:13]But, you know, writer friends, they are your people.
[18:17]And they're the ones you want to like wine to
[18:20]so you don't unwind your family.
[18:22]You're sort of your writer friends
[18:25]and how did you make them?
[18:26]Yeah, so it's funny that you should ask that
[18:29]because one of them is Lori Flynn.
[18:31]The author of The Girls are also nice here, which
[18:35]I think she, she, she came on your podcast.
[18:38]Yeah, not long ago.
[18:39]I got to know her.
[18:41]Wait, I don't really remember.
[18:42]I think I just like messaged her asking
[18:46]if I could have an ARC of her book
[18:50]because it sounded interesting.
[18:52]And then as I read it, I kept messaging her.
[18:55]And, you know, and I was like, oh my God, I met this part.
[18:58]Like, you know, I can't believe this happened.
[19:00]And blah, blah.
[19:01]And she didn't block me.
[19:03]So then I was like, yeah, you're my best friend now.
[19:09]We know, we're like, we get along really well
[19:11]because we both have little kids.
[19:14]Does she know that you're her friend?
[19:16]And she's like, all right, does she even know
[19:21]that has she ever responded to you?
[19:23]Let's just be totally open here.
[19:27]She might suspect it.
[19:28]No, we actually, we talk every day.
[19:31]I was starting to get a little worried.
[19:35]Not being blunched by someone does not make you friends.
[19:41]Yeah, she, luckily, she was like,
[19:43]really, really responsive.
[19:45]And we started chatting every day about, you know, how,
[19:50]you know, we like wine to, okay, I wine to her every day
[19:53]about how hard it is to have like, you know,
[19:56]to look after the kids and then like tackle edit.
[20:00]or deadlines and things like that.
[20:03]So it's been so nice having someone who was like,
[20:07]as driven, you know, because like,
[20:10]I think most writers aim for like one book a year,
[20:13]which I think is like really amazing already,
[20:16]but then Laurie and I are just really intense and hardcore.
[20:21]And so we're like two books a year.
[20:24]Yeah.
[20:25]Without really understanding what the ramifications
[20:29]of that are, which is that, you know,
[20:32]we don't have time for anything else.
[20:34]So it's just like writing and then kids
[20:37]and then writing and kids.
[20:39]So it's really, really nice to have her
[20:42]to share this journey with her.
[20:44]Awesome.
[20:46]Well, I always am is right with me.
[20:48]I feel like I have no time either.
[20:50]And maybe like nobody has any time anymore.
[20:54]Yeah, but that's so nice that you guys connected like that.
[20:56]And that's awesome.
[20:58]Who knew?
[20:59]Great way to reach out.
[21:01]I love it.
[21:02]Yeah.
[21:03]It's great.
[21:04]Awesome.
[21:05]Well, wait, by the way, where are you in the world?
[21:08]Are you in the United States or are you, where are you?
[21:11]No, I'm in Indonesia.
[21:13]So it's actually 10, 25 PM here.
[21:17]Wow.
[21:18]Yeah.
[21:18]Okay.
[21:19]It's an aisle.
[21:20]Okay.
[21:21]I just couldn't tell.
[21:23]Sorry, that question sounded totally random,
[21:25]but I was wondering if you were like around the corner
[21:27]or very far away.
[21:28]And there you are.
[21:30]All right.
[21:31]Well, Jesse, thank you so much for this totally entertaining
[21:35]read, which I completely enjoyed.
[21:37]And for an equally enjoyable little chat this morning.
[21:41]So thank you.
[21:42]Yeah.
[21:43]Thank you so much for having me.
[21:44]I really love your podcast.
[21:46]Thank you.
[21:47]And I just love that it's like so, you know, mom geared.
[21:52]Thank you.
[21:54]Like I just relate to it so hard.
[21:56]Which is so important like during, you know, this time
[21:59]where we're all kind of locked away in isolation.
[22:02]So it's actually been a bit of a lifesaver.
[22:06]Oh, thank you.
[22:08]That's awesome.
[22:09]Well, I appreciate that and delighted to have you on.
[22:12]Yeah.
[22:13]Okay.
[22:14]All right, we'll have a great day, Jesse.
[22:16]Yeah, you too, Zibi.
[22:17]Thank you so much.
[22:18]Okay.
[22:19]Bye, pleasure.
[22:19]Bye-bye.
[22:21]Thanks for listening to this episode of Moms.
[22:23]Don't have time to read books.
[22:25]Don't forget to follow me on Instagram at Zibi Owens
[22:28]and at Moms.
[22:29]Don't have time to read books.
[22:30]Also sign up for my newsletter at zibiowans.com
[22:33]and sign up for my virtual book club
[22:34]and meet lots of authors on Zoom every other week.
[22:37]Thanks so much to Steve and Ryan.
[22:38]In fact, texture sound for the sound editing.
[22:41]And thank you to Morning Moon Productions
[22:42]for providing this fantastic intro and out trim music.