Heather Land, A PERFECT 10

2020-10-06 · 31:38 · Heather Land · Podcast Audio

[0:08]Hi, I'm Zibi Owens and you're listening to the award-winning podcast Moms Don't Have Time to Read Books.

[0:13]Please sign up for my newsletter at zibiowens.com for weekly updates about my podcast, events, and more.

[0:20]Also, follow me on Instagram at zibiowens and also at Moms Don't Have Time to Read Books.

[0:26]And finally, join my virtual book club called Zibi's virtual book club, which meets every other Tuesday at 2 p.m.

[0:32]Eastern Time until 3 p.m. and features half an hour of book club discussion followed by 30 minutes of Q&A with the author whose book we've just discussed.

[0:41]You can sign up on my website zibiowens.com under the virtual book club section or even on Instagram, under the link in my bio.

[0:49]I hope you'll find to me in all these different channels and enjoy this podcast.

[0:53]I don't know about any of you, but I am still obsessed with Mindy Kayling after her amazing appearance on the office.

[1:01]She is also an author for those of you who don't know. This is her third work.

[1:05]It's called Nothing Like I Imagine, and it's an Amazon original story.

[1:11]It's a collection of short stories, six of them about how she juggles life as a new mom, actress, and Hollywood Power Benture.

[1:16]And her story collection is actually the sponsor of this episode.

[1:20]It was written and narrated by Mindy, and it's great to listen to on the go available in audio and e-book format.

[1:27]Prime members can listen and read it for free. So you can download this today at Amazon.com

[1:34]slash Mindy Stories. That's Amazon.com slash Mindy Stories. It's absolutely hilarious and just

[1:42]you will not want to stop reading. So check it out today, Amazon.com slash Mindy Stories.

[1:49]I have like one of the best podcasts ever. I think with Heather Land, who is a popular comedian

[1:55]with a reach of more than 107 million fans. She's the creator of viral video series, I ain't

[2:01]doing it. And the author of essays by the same name. And now she's out with a new collection called

[2:06]a perfect 10, the truth about things I'm not and never will be. She has an amazing southern

[2:12]wit sassy sarcasm. And her ongoing series, I ain't doing it has really become a viral phenomenon.

[2:19]She has two amazing children and currently lives in Nashville, Tennessee. I don't know if

[2:23]her children are amazing, but that's what it says here. Anyway, enjoy our episode. Heather's like

[2:27]my new BFF. Hey, how are you? I'm good. How are you doing? Thank you. Sorry you paid me to the zoom

[2:36]here. Okay, I'm usually the light one. So I wanted to try to jump the gun this morning. So love it.

[2:42]Thanks for having me. I really appreciate it. Oh my gosh, I'm thrilled to have you. And I've

[2:49]to do it. You've given me a reason to get up this morning and put on a bra. So appreciate it.

[2:56]I mean, that might be the most useful thing I do for anyone all day.

[2:59]Yes. So it's like a place in the live. So that's good. Yeah.

[3:06]Well, congrats on the release of your lead is to bug the perfect 10. Now exciting.

[3:11]Oh, look at your eye, you're doing it mug. Look at that. Of course, I represent this morning, right?

[3:17]Yes, exactly. I think I saw your shirts were sold out or you're re-releasing your shirts.

[3:21]Are you doing something with merch or something? Do you have a new t-shirt? Yeah, we have a new 2020

[3:26]night. And they sold out in like two hours. We were like, oh, we grossly underbought. So we've

[3:31]got to rethink this. So yeah, we've got to make an order and that's a good problem to have.

[3:36]You know, it's a good road to have. Yeah. So for people who aren't as familiar with your

[3:42]trajectory to becoming this sensation comedian, you know, Instagram fan author, everything.

[3:52]Can you talk a little bit about how you got started and how you ended up here? Yeah,

[3:58]it's just kind of a crazy weird phenomenon really. I had just gone through a divorce

[4:05]after almost 15 years of marriage. And I had been in ministry my whole life and leading

[4:11]worship and my assessment was a youth pastor. And so, you know, when you go through a divorce in the

[4:16]church world, the church work is very emotional and it takes heart and soul, you know, and I've

[4:22]just didn't see a way to continue doing that at that point. You know, it's really broken and needed

[4:28]to kind of heal. So I moved home from Colorado and Colorado and moved home to Tennessee,

[4:33]moved in with my parents for about three months, me and my kids. That was great fun.

[4:38]And then finally got a little rent house, got a job, a really good friend of mine gave me a job

[4:43]doing some administrative work for him. And then ended up creating a refinanced department

[4:49]essentially for his company and he put me in charge of it. And I'm like, listen, I can barely

[4:54]do simple addition. So are you sure? But he really took a gamble and gave me a, you know,

[5:01]good job with some stability. So in the meantime, my kids had turned me on to Snapchat. And so

[5:07]I found the ugliest filter I could find on Snapchat. And was just making really stupid videos

[5:13]between me and a couple of my friends. And they were like, you need to put these on social media.

[5:20]And I said, absolutely not. I mean, you know, I'm single. This is not the way to get this is not

[5:26]the way to get a date. You know, so I wouldn't do it for the longest. And then finally on a day

[5:32]or one of them dared me. And I can't even remember what my reward was for doing it, but it was

[5:38]evidently something really great. So I finally posted my first video to Facebook to my personal page

[5:45]and people started watching it and they were messaging me. So we love your, I ain't doing it

[5:50]videos. Is that what they're called? And I was like, they're not called to anything. I don't even

[5:54]know what you're talking about. I ain't doing it because I didn't even realize that I had said

[5:58]it. So I had to go back and rewatch it. And I was like, oh, I did say I ain't doing it. So people

[6:03]were asking me for more. And I was like, okay, yeah, we'll make some more. I ain't doing it

[6:08]videos. You know, so I made two or three more. And then Susanna Lewis, whoa, Susanna, she reached

[6:16]out to me. And she actually wasn't one of my neighbors, but I never knew her at the time. And she

[6:21]just said, can I post a video? And I said, sure, you know, I've got a big girl job. So I don't

[6:25]really care. You can do it every once. You know, and she said, well, you're going to need to start

[6:29]a fan page because people will start following you. And I didn't even understand what she was

[6:35]talking about. You know, and I was mortified to start a fan page. I just, I said, absolutely not.

[6:42]You know, people are going to think I want to be a comedian and you know, like I've got a real job.

[6:46]I'm not trying to be a comedian. As she said, I'm telling you, you're going to want to,

[6:50]you're going to want to start that page to keep people like away from your kids and all that.

[6:54]So I did. I started a fan page. I went to work that morning. It was September the 6th, 2017.

[7:02]And I started that fan page. And when I went to church that night, there were, we still got a

[7:07]church always say nice in the south. You know, so I went to church that night. And there were 750

[7:14]followers, which I thought was amazing. And then when I came home, she had posted her video,

[7:21]obviously. So when I came home, there were like 55,000 followers. And it just kept going up and

[7:27]up and up and after a month, the page was at a million. And so I had my two cousins and a girlfriend

[7:35]answering thousands of messages every day. And they would report back, you know, I'm sitting here

[7:41]typing at work and they're just blowing me up on my phone and saying people, people want you to

[7:47]come to their churches and their events and their theaters. And I'm like, what do they want me to do,

[7:52]you know, and they want me to do comedy? And I told my friend, Tasha, I said, I'm not a comedian.

[7:57]And she said, yes, you are. You just don't get paid for it. So you want to, you want to try to get

[8:02]paid for it. I'm like, I don't know. So yeah, two weeks later, I quit my job. It's all my brand new

[8:08]house that I had just built. And I moved in with some friends in Nashville for about three months

[8:14]to I found a place and sold a bunch of t-shirts to get me by for a few months. So I haven't

[8:19]paid shit. And here we are going on tour. I've done a couple of tours now. And it's the weirdest

[8:26]life I've ever lived. But I'm just, I'm loving it. And I'm just taking it in stride, you know,

[8:33]like, okay, whatever's next. Let's see. That's amazing. Yeah. It's been an ice off.

[8:38]You're Instagram that you met. Your husband was your production manager on your tour.

[8:43]We're getting married in 24 days. He was my production manager on my first tour. My manager

[8:50]introduced me to him and said, this is your production manager for this round. And we jumped

[8:55]on a bus and I just fell in love pretty immediately. And we've been inseparable ever since. And

[9:02]now he is really my road manager, essentially, if I can ever get back on the road because of COVID.

[9:08]And yeah, we just obviously get each other and our line of work. And we love being on the road.

[9:15]We love traveling. And yeah, it's been awesome all the way around. Just yeah, really sweet,

[9:21]redemptive story after, you know, going through quite a bit. It's it's been a relief and a joy,

[9:29]you know. It's amazing. It's like we get like a sneak peek at a happy ending already.

[9:35]For me too, I just every day I wake up this morning, I said, we're in married in 24 days. Like

[9:41]every day is just so exciting. And it's I've never lived that life. It's so it's yeah, it's very

[9:49]weird and wonderful. Yeah, I just love it. Love in it. I have to say as I was researching you and

[9:55]reading your book and learning about your story, I feel like there's the parallels because I

[9:59]also got to go.

[10:00]Of course, I was, I guess 40 when I got to a worse dirt,

[10:03]I don't know, around there, and I had four kids

[10:05]and, you know, had to sort of start over again.

[10:07]And that's actually how I ended up starting this podcast,

[10:10]which came out of nowhere for me.

[10:12]And wow, become a whole thing.

[10:15]And I actually got remarried a couple of years ago now,

[10:18]but totally fell in love and like my own,

[10:22]like sort of redemptive story.

[10:23]So anyway, when I was looking at your pictures

[10:26]and getting all ready for the wedding,

[10:27]I was thinking back to my wedding

[10:29]and all right, I mean, dresses for my little girls

[10:32]and my boys, I don't know.

[10:33]Anyway, so I love you too.

[10:35]We have coffee, like off the record soon,

[10:38]so we can talk about all that,

[10:40]because I would like to dig into that a little more,

[10:42]because you know, it's interesting.

[10:44]I did, like I said, I did ministry my whole life,

[10:47]but once I went through a divorce,

[10:49]it opened me up to a whole new group of people

[10:53]that I never could relate to.

[10:55]And really it's like half of the population, right?

[10:58]So I'm like, oh wow, this is a new ballgame.

[11:01]It's like people have gone through a lot

[11:03]when they've gotten divorced and I had no clue.

[11:06]And it really does change the whole game.

[11:09]You do, you start, you start over.

[11:12]You have to check the divorced box on your taxes.

[11:15]Like that was a tough one for me.

[11:17]It is just a stripping away of everything

[11:21]that you thought represented stability to you.

[11:25]And really, I feel like even though I have found

[11:29]this new side, I've tapped into this new side of myself

[11:31]that I didn't even know was there,

[11:33]I really have found who I am.

[11:36]I think, you know, through divorce,

[11:38]it's been such a beautiful experience

[11:42]on this side of it.

[11:43]I feel the same way.

[11:44]That's why I sometimes I feel like I want to shine it

[11:46]from the rooftops.

[11:47]I'm like, I'm me again, like I had lost me for so long.

[11:51]I didn't think I was coming back,

[11:53]but now this is just who I am.

[11:55]And now like every day, I just get to like talk to people

[11:58]and record it, like, but it's not just in my professional life.

[12:02]It's like in every area, right?

[12:03]It's just like, it's just like, you know,

[12:05]my mom says it's like, you know, your sparkle comes back.

[12:08]It's like, you just, I don't know.

[12:10]It's this one.

[12:11]You're like a lab again, you know, really.

[12:13]You just, and hopefully for you, it seems like this

[12:16]is your story as well that you have a partner now

[12:19]who lets you be you and gives you the freedom

[12:22]to, you know, explore who you are

[12:24]and all the changes of who you are.

[12:26]And that's really what Stephen does for me.

[12:29]You know, he just, he loves me every, every phase.

[12:32]And whether I'm a comedian or not, he doesn't care.

[12:34]You know, like at first, I thought, oh gosh,

[12:37]he only knows me on the road.

[12:39]Is he still gonna love me, you know, off the road?

[12:41]And then COVID hit.

[12:43]And I'm like, okay, here we go.

[12:44]This is gonna test the waters.

[12:46]And we've had the greatest time

[12:48]quarantining together.

[12:49]Like we just, yeah, I would just love each other's company

[12:53]and he really lets me just be me.

[12:56]It is just so refreshing.

[12:58]Amazing.

[12:58]How is it with your kids?

[13:00]Quarantine or?

[13:01]Well, both at that time.

[13:02]I mean, like sort of incorporating a new guy into the,

[13:05]into the, it's been wonderful.

[13:08]They absolutely adore him.

[13:10]They're thrilled, you know, about the wedding.

[13:12]And I'm kind of like you, you know, I'm picking out my sons.

[13:15]We've got went and got his suit,

[13:16]getting my daughters dressed, you know,

[13:18]they absolutely adore him.

[13:20]And he, he doesn't have children.

[13:21]And he's never wanted kids,

[13:23]but he always potentially saw himself

[13:26]marrying someone with children.

[13:28]He loves the older age,

[13:30]which I know nothing about.

[13:33]I'm like, I'm all about that baby phase.

[13:35]And now I've got a 17 year old and a almost 14 year old.

[13:38]And I have no clue what to do with them.

[13:41]Not to mention, we are virtual schooling.

[13:44]And I am the most technically challenged human being on,

[13:48]like, Stephen left to go send off some t-shirts.

[13:52]And I was like, please not leave me alone with Zoom.

[13:55]I'm scared.

[13:56]He said, you know, he, he left me my phone.

[13:58]He said, you don't even have Zoom on your phone.

[14:00]On your phone.

[14:02]Like, how have I been surviving?

[14:03]But anyway, all to say, he is the technical guru

[14:07]of the family.

[14:08]So right now, while they're both virtual schooling,

[14:12]I am not parenting.

[14:13]I just lay around and drink coffee in my pajamas

[14:18]while he parents.

[14:19]And you know what?

[14:20]I'm like, listen, it's your turn.

[14:22]It's your turn.

[14:23]I'm tired.

[14:25]I'm tapping out.

[14:25]So it's really been a great partnership

[14:29]in my perspective anyway.

[14:32]My husband is the same.

[14:33]He didn't have kids of his own.

[14:34]And yeah, he just sort of like walked into our situation

[14:37]and just embraced it.

[14:39]And you know, now he like cuts all the kids' hair

[14:41]and he does all the cooking.

[14:43]He does, I'm afraid to make this guy.

[14:45]He's a lot of their clothes and like the coolest this and that.

[14:48]And like, you know, things that I just, whoa.

[14:51]No, you know, he's up on all of it.

[14:53]And yeah, it's such a gift.

[14:56]You know, it's like a trip.

[14:57]Yes.

[14:58]And they wrote a four, man.

[15:00]He deserves like more than a pat on the back.

[15:03]I don't know, but good for him for embracing it.

[15:06]That's so wonderful.

[15:08]I love that.

[15:09]Before we even got together, I was like, OK,

[15:11]just don't even kiss me because I have four kids.

[15:13]And I'm not having any more kids.

[15:16]And like, don't meet some pretty young thing

[15:19]and have lots of babies and have your life.

[15:21]And just like, let me walk down the beach the other way.

[15:24]Yes, you are so funny.

[15:26]I said the same thing to Stephen.

[15:27]I said, listen, you don't have to sign up for this.

[15:31]Like, this is a lot.

[15:33]I've got baggage, I've got kids, I've, you know,

[15:36]got a lot of history.

[15:38]So don't, you know, save yourself.

[15:40]And run, and he just wouldn't.

[15:43]And every day that he stayed, I just, I think it made me

[15:46]love him so much more, you know.

[15:49]Yeah, I feel good to get it.

[15:51]Yeah, I totally get it.

[15:52]It's funny, because I don't, I don't often

[15:54]meet people in the same sort of life age situation.

[15:57]Hardly ever.

[15:58]I'm trying to think if I know anybody.

[15:59]But anyway, it's nice to tell you.

[16:01]Yeah, I really, I want to interview you.

[16:02]Like, I want to ask you more questions.

[16:04]So I typically, we need to continue this at a later date,

[16:08]for sure.

[16:08]I would love to.

[16:09]I would really love to.

[16:10]Oh my gosh.

[16:11]By the way, I read in your book that you grew up with a

[16:13]payphone in your house.

[16:14]And I thought that was like one of the most memorable

[16:16]details I've read lately.

[16:19]Yes, what if my most memorable details of my life?

[16:23]And it's turned out to be a great memory actually.

[16:25]But at the time, it was not, you know, obviously you read,

[16:29]my mom lived only 30 minutes from her family.

[16:33]But it was still long distance.

[16:35]And she was running up that phone bill, man.

[16:37]And my dad was not having any more of it.

[16:40]So he told her she didn't quit.

[16:42]He's put a payphone in and he was, he stuck to his word.

[16:46]So yeah, we had to put it, we had a little ball of dime sitting

[16:49]on top of it.

[16:49]So we'd have to stick a dime in there every time we wanted to

[16:52]talk.

[16:53]And then the cord was, you know, like maybe, you know, a foot

[16:55]and a half.

[16:56]So you weren't going anywhere.

[16:58]And everybody was listening to your combo right there in

[17:01]the hall.

[17:01]Yeah, it was wild.

[17:03]Wow, it was wild.

[17:05]I don't even know what to say about it.

[17:06]It was scary.

[17:08]Yeah, not fun.

[17:10]In your book that you were always like the kid from the

[17:12]very beginning who had tried to entertain the grown-ups

[17:14]as an only child, like you would, that would just like be

[17:17]your thing, like making people laugh or entertaining them.

[17:20]That's just who you are is that just how it was.

[17:22]Well, you know, mostly I entertain them with my hair brush

[17:26]if I would sing.

[17:27]And that was kind of my gig as a kid.

[17:30]And whenever anybody asked me what I wanted to be, when I

[17:33]grew up, I wanted to be a singer.

[17:34]That's all I cared about.

[17:35]And so my parents kind of, you know,

[17:38]pawned me off as the singing entertainment.

[17:40]And I was petrified every time, but I always loved it

[17:43]and always did it.

[17:44]So yeah, that's kind of where it started.

[17:46]But always growing up, I was, I think the one who always

[17:52]trying to try to get a joke in kind of under the radar, you

[17:55]know, and sarcasm really got me through life.

[17:59]I mean, I touched on it just a little bit in this new

[18:02]book, because I'm honestly trying to just test the

[18:05]waters with it.

[18:06]But I talked a little bit about just growing up with an

[18:08]addictive parent in the house.

[18:11]And I think sarcasm really helped me kind of

[18:15]muddle through that unknowingly.

[18:17]I didn't even realize that's, you know, that was a coping

[18:19]mechanism that's now turned into a career.

[18:22]But I do think that's what it was.

[18:24]It's just a way, a way to cope, you know.

[18:26]So yeah, I think I've always been, I've always been

[18:30]interestingly, very melancholy, like I cry a lot.

[18:34]But I also am super sarcastic and optimistic at the same

[18:38]time.

[18:38]So it's quite the conundrum, quite the split personality.

[18:42]But yeah, the comedy side is really just helped me through

[18:46]life.

[18:46]It still does every day.

[18:48]I mean, that's what they say, right?

[18:49]Like you just have to have a sense of humor.

[18:51]But you got to laugh for your cry.

[18:53]That's what we say in the second.

[18:54]Yeah, that's a better.

[18:56]Better to get a laugh for your cry.

[18:58]You know, I'm like, you're okay.

[19:00]So tell me about how the writing entered into your life.

[19:03]So you started the viral videos and things started blowing up.

[19:06]And then when did this become a writing thing?

[19:10]Yeah, so I think it was actually a few weeks before I even posted

[19:13]a video.

[19:15]I really felt in my heart, I'll never forget where I was.

[19:18]I was sitting in my bedroom in my house.

[19:20]And I was just writing on my computer, just like a little,

[19:23]blog entry, except that I had no blog.

[19:26]And I thought, you know what?

[19:28]I think I'm going to start a blog.

[19:29]And I remember texting a friend and just telling her that.

[19:32]I feel like I was supposed to start a blog.

[19:34]I don't know why.

[19:35]But I'm just going to throw it out there and see

[19:37]what sticks to the wall.

[19:38]So yeah, I started a little WordPress, you know, free blog spot

[19:43]and started just posting a few entries, you know, random entries.

[19:48]And once the videos went viral, I got approached by some

[19:53]literary agents.

[19:54]And I didn't even know what a literary agent was.

[19:56]I read the emails.

[19:57]And I was like, I don't really know what this means.

[20:00]I was like, they're wanting to try to get you a book deal.

[20:03]And I'm like, a book deal.

[20:04]Like, I mean, I'm just so new to all of it.

[20:08]And I thought, well, okay, I mean, I've, I've got a blog.

[20:11]I mean, and I know how to communicate.

[20:14]So let's give it a go.

[20:16]And as you can see from my writing, it is very conversational.

[20:21]I mean, there is nothing fancy about it.

[20:23]It is exactly like I would sit here and talk to you.

[20:26]But I think it works for, for a humor book, you know,

[20:29]and, and for comedy, it's relatable.

[20:32]And it's, it's pretty dumb to die on.

[20:34]I mean, anybody with a third grade reading level can,

[20:37]can snatch it up and get through it in a day.

[20:40]It's pretty simple.

[20:42]But it is, yeah, but that's not started.

[20:44]You were playing the book down tremendously.

[20:46]And by the way, I think able to like take what's in your head

[20:49]and get it on the page is not something that everybody can do.

[20:53]Like, that is actually a skill.

[20:56]So you're so sweet.

[20:57]You know what?

[20:58]Sometimes I sometimes I think, and I've said this to Stephen.

[21:02]I've said, I think I just need to go write my thoughts down

[21:05]because I'm better on paper.

[21:07]If I can write you a letter and tell you how I feel, it will come out so

[21:11]much more accurately and eloquently than if I try to muddle

[21:14]through the millions of thoughts in my brain.

[21:18]For some reason, yeah, it's almost a better means of communication.

[21:21]Too bad.

[21:22]I can't tape over my mouth and just put a pen in.

[21:25]I always, finally, like, you cannot email me anymore.

[21:28]He's like, stop emailing me these paragraph long things and get

[21:34]for a little text because I'd be like, here's how I feel.

[21:37]And then he's like, I'm sitting like, right.

[21:39]He'd be like, oh, you know, I'd be like, because that's how it's

[21:44]both easier to like, say it right and get it down.

[21:48]And I don't know.

[21:48]So yeah, and delete.

[21:50]You can delete before it's out there for everybody.

[21:53]You can't, before you can not take it back.

[21:56]That's the beauty of it.

[21:57]You get it.

[21:58]You try to get it sometimes to read all these after, well, I'm like,

[22:03]ready.

[22:03]Well, but anyway, put them in your memoir.

[22:06]You know, yeah, exactly.

[22:09]And to say, but digging up somewhere, yeah.

[22:12]So then how did you find the whole experience?

[22:15]Like, and tell me about the first book, where's the second book

[22:17]and how that whole, how was it with the book out there?

[22:20]Your whole life there?

[22:22]Like your kids, people responding to it and all of that.

[22:24]Well, it's interesting.

[22:25]The first book, you know, I had kind of this well of blog entries to draw

[22:30]from.

[22:31]And I knew that I wanted it to be just kind of an essay book, you know,

[22:34]like standalone chapters.

[22:36]You don't have to read it in order.

[22:37]Simple stories.

[22:38]And so the first one, I think I had, there was so much momentum behind,

[22:44]you know, I was on tour.

[22:45]Like they would, I would watch Stephen.

[22:47]He's on the stage work and during the day.

[22:49]Of course, I don't go on until the night.

[22:50]So I would sit up in the balcony at whatever venue we were at.

[22:54]And I would just write.

[22:56]And it was a really fun, easy experience for me.

[22:59]Yeah. Like I said, I think the momentum of the time kept, kept to me, go

[23:04]and kept the juices flowing.

[23:05]The second one, if I'm being totally honest, was the first thought that came

[23:10]into my head was, I don't know how in the world, I'm going to write a second.

[23:13]But I had nothing to say.

[23:14]Like I'm so tired.

[23:16]So I did pinch hit a little bit with this book.

[23:19]A really one of my best friends.

[23:21]If I was having a bridal party, she would be my maid of honor.

[23:26]She is throwing me a bridal blood, she's doing the whole thing.

[23:29]But we're not having a wedding party.

[23:31]But anyway, she's a great writer.

[23:32]Her name is Heather Leonard.

[23:34]And she's a Mississippi, but I asked her to help me with this book.

[23:38]So we kind of tagged Tainted and she did most of the heavy lifting with my stories.

[23:43]And we talked through it and, you know, rewrote and had fun girl weekends

[23:48]where we got together and wrote.

[23:49]So it was really nice to have a little bit of help from somebody on the outside

[23:54]that's kind of pooling things out of me.

[23:57]And the book is very similar in style.

[23:59]It's another essay book, you know, it's standalone chapters about, you know,

[24:04]nonsense and just more stories of growing up southern.

[24:08]I do write a whole chapter about Stephen and how we met.

[24:11]And I write, like I said at the beginning of our combo, a little bit about growing

[24:17]up in addiction.

[24:19]That is something that I really do want to write more about and talk more about.

[24:25]But I don't want to, I'm trying to ride that fine line of being a comedian and saying,

[24:33]telling my story, but without embarrassing or disrespecting anyone.

[24:39]That's definitely not, you know, in my heart to do.

[24:41]So I've really tried to find the balance.

[24:44]And so I wrote a little bit about it, which was just kind of me tip toe and end

[24:49]to see how I felt and to see how it was received.

[24:54]I mean, it's nothing too deep, but I do want to get that part of the story out there

[25:00]because I think people will relate and it's honest and it's real.

[25:04]And a lot of people go through it, you know, that people that we don't even realize.

[25:09]So I want to give people a platform to, or the freedom to share that part

[25:13]of their story.

[25:14]So that's why I wrote about it.

[25:16]My kids, you know, when it comes to writing or comedy or anything that I do,

[25:22]they just think I'm an idiot.

[25:24]They are completely oppressed with me.

[25:27]They, my son constantly says, I cannot believe you make a living doing this.

[25:33]Like it is just, it is baffling to him and to me too.

[25:38]But yeah, they're not impressed with any, you know, I wrote in the first book,

[25:42]I think the, I dedicated it to them or I wrote in the acknowledgements to them.

[25:46]They don't care.

[25:47]They're like, oh, that's sweet.

[25:49]Thanks.

[25:49]They just want to go be with their friends to, for me to buy them a skateboard.

[25:55]So they can skate, give them money to go shop, you know, typical teenage life,

[26:00]unimpressed with mom, which is awesome.

[26:03]You know, I wouldn't have it any other way really.

[26:06]That's what you stay humble.

[26:07]I mean, absolutely.

[26:09]How did you monetize the comedy?

[26:12]Was it going on the road and selling tickets?

[26:15]Not to tie it to your personal finances here?

[26:17]No, no, no, that's totally fair question.

[26:19]Yeah, just going to do and live events.

[26:22]That's the way.

[26:23]So, so I have no money anymore because I haven't been on the road in here.

[26:28]I've done one show this year.

[26:30]It was on Valentine's Day.

[26:31]But yeah, that's what has, you know, brought in the money.

[26:34]Merch helps a little bit.

[26:36]It helps just, you know, monthly pay the bills.

[26:39]So I'm very grateful for that.

[26:41]But very ready to get back on the road.

[26:44]Yeah, not just because that's my livelihood, but I just really love the people.

[26:49]I love every time I get on the stage.

[26:53]I feel like I'm in somebody's living room.

[26:55]Like it's scary, but it's so fun.

[26:58]And the relationship that I'm able to somehow develop between

[27:04]me and the people overrides the nerves.

[27:07]You know, writing a set is very daunting.

[27:11]I mean, and my, I don't know about you, but my creative process is weird.

[27:16]Everybody's is different.

[27:17]But, you know, for me, well, I have a friend who's a songwriter.

[27:24]And he says, he tells me, you have to schedule in creativity.

[27:27]You have to schedule it and I try to do it.

[27:30]I try to do it his way.

[27:32]But it doesn't work for me.

[27:34]I mean, I'll go to writing sessions and I are still right songs.

[27:38]And I've got some buddies that I write with.

[27:40]And if I'm not feeling it, nothing comes out of it every time.

[27:44]But the minute that I'm feeling inspiration and eventually I always do feel it.

[27:50]I'll just say, I gotta go, I gotta go right.

[27:53]I've got, you know, or I'll get in the car or I'll get in the bathtub.

[27:57]Those are my two best places to think and write.

[28:00]It's the weirdest thing.

[28:01]And it just comes out.

[28:02]So yeah, the process is super weird.

[28:05]But the payoff is being in front of people and doing the live comedy in man.

[28:11]It's quite the thrill for me.

[28:13]And you're bringing a laptop into the tub.

[28:16]You know, just got my notes out on the phone.

[28:18]Oh, the phone, okay.

[28:19]Yeah, just got my phone out.

[28:20]I'm talking.

[28:20]This is a very risky writing happening here.

[28:23]I'm right.

[28:24]I'm like, what if I wanted those long things that goes across my tub?

[28:29]And I can sit my computer up.

[28:30]Hey, I'm super scared.

[28:32]So I'm better with just my phone.

[28:34]Yeah.

[28:35]That's kind of how it goes for me.

[28:37]So do you have any advice for to aspiring authors now having written books and all the sets you do and everything else?

[28:44]Oh Lord.

[28:45]First of all, I am not one to be giving advice.

[28:48]Let's just throw out that disclaimer.

[28:50]But since you asked, this is my advice.

[28:53]Be honest and be authentic because I just feel like that's what people want to hear.

[28:59]Right.

[29:00]They want something they can relate to.

[29:03]They want here, like, I've been in church my whole life, right?

[29:06]So I've sat through a million and one sermons and I've fallen asleep in probably three quarters of those.

[29:13]But the minute somebody starts talking about something they went through or a personal storage from their own life, I perk up, right?

[29:21]And I think we all do.

[29:22]So that's my advice, like start with the real thing.

[29:27]Whatever it is, tap into how you know what you know.

[29:32]Is it because of an experience?

[29:33]Yes.

[29:34]So right about that.

[29:35]Let me, let me know how you went through that thing and how you got through that divorce and how you got through that addiction.

[29:43]People are sick of fake.

[29:44]You know, I'm so sick of that.

[29:46]I have no room for it.

[29:47]So yeah, I think be honest and push through the, what's the word, non creative moments, you know, then don't, and don't quit.

[29:58]Yeah, it's pretty simple.

[30:00]I'm from from my perspective. Anyway, I love it. Well, Heather, thank you. Thank you for coming on momstone. I have time to read books. I really would love to keep talking.

[30:11]Call me back.

[30:13]All my cell phone. Let's get to get. Where are you? I'm in New York. Where are you? It's my favorite city. I'll come to you. Okay. Great.

[30:23]I'll come to you. We'll have coffee. Well, can we got a Chelsea market. It's my favorite place in New York open. I wonder if it's open now. Oh, I'm sure it's not, but once it's over. I would love it. Let's do it.

[30:35]And where are you? You're a Nashville or a Nashville. Yeah. I've never been there. It's like the top of my list. Yeah. Okay. You come to me too. Yeah. I would come there. Yeah. That sounds great. Okay.

[30:46]Okay.

[30:47]I enjoyed it. Okay. Bye.

[30:52]Thanks so much to Mindy Kayling and her book Nothing Like I Imagine.

[30:56]First sponsoring this episode. You can get it on amazon.com slash Mindy stories. And again, it's called Nothing Like I Imagine.

[31:06]Go check it out. Thanks for listening to this episode of momstone have time to read books. Don't forget to follow me on Instagram at ZB Owens and at momstone have time to read books.

[31:16]Also sign up for my newsletter at ZB Owens.com and sign up for my virtual book club and meet lots of authors on zoom every other week.

[31:23]Thanks so much to Steve and Ryan at texture sound for the sound editing and thank you to morning moon productions for providing this fantastic intro and now trim music.