Christie Pearce Rampone & Dr. Kristine Keane, BE ALL IN
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[1:23]and it'll be fantastic. Thank you, booknecks, for sponsoring. I did a joint interview with
[1:28]Christy Pierce-Rampone and Dr. Christine Kane about their new book called Be All In,
[1:35]Raising Kids for Success and Sports and Life. Christy Pierce-Rampone is the most decorated
[1:41]female American professional soccer player male or female of all time. She is a 1999 and 2015
[1:49]FIFA Women's World Cup Champion and a three-time Olympic gold medalist. She's currently an
[1:54]active speaker, coach, and sports commentator, a sports mom of two girls, and has coached
[2:00]professional, high school, and club soccer teams as well as youth basketball teams. She paired up
[2:05]with sports psychologist, Dr. Christine Kane, to share the best practices that athletes,
[2:10]parents, and coaches can use to turn good sportsmanship into a lifelong skill. Listen to our
[2:15]conversation now. Welcome to Christy and Christine to moms. Don't have time to read books. This is
[2:22]so exciting. We're excited to be here. Thanks for having us. Of course. So two at once,
[2:27]we'll see if we can tell your voices apart on the audio. But you guys have written Be All In,
[2:34]Raising Kids for Success and Sports and Life, which is so needed for so many people. So thank you
[2:41]for the gift that you just gave with the entire parent community and everything else. So that's
[2:45]awesome. What inspired the two of you to collaborate on this book and write it together?
[2:51]That's a great question. So this Christy and Dr. Kane and I had met through our profession
[2:58]in sports. And we did a lot of speaking engagements together. And through our talks, we just
[3:03]realized sports is kind of getting carried away. And being moms, being a coach, being a player,
[3:11]like all encompassing, we were just like, how do we kind of educate parents about what
[3:17]you sports is really about? And it's really about the life lessons that they can learn
[3:23]through sports more than just winning. We all want to win. We're all competitive. I was very
[3:27]competitive throughout my sports career. But as a mom, it's like a whole different perspective
[3:32]in an outlook. And we just thought like through Dr. Kane's profession, I was playing at the
[3:38]national team for over 17 years and going through that and all the pressures and everything it
[3:45]takes in talking to Dr. Kane on the mental side, we just thought together the book would be more
[3:49]powerful and more inspirational for parents. One of the things that we talked about a lot were injuries
[3:56]and concussion. And I would tell Christy that I was very surprised about how when parents
[4:02]would come to me and seem to be more concerned about the getting to the next tournament
[4:08]or when the concussion would be over, then the head injury itself. And so that set off some alarm bells.
[4:14]So parents seem to be more anxious about playing time and getting to that tournament and not
[4:19]missing out. It's not that the parents don't care about their children or the head injury.
[4:23]But there's clearly a lot of anxiety around getting to the tournament, getting to these games.
[4:29]And that's what kind of spurred us to, we could probably collectively be very helpful in terms of
[4:34]because her Christy stories, so many stories in the book, absolutely amazing about how she came up.
[4:41]And she didn't come up playing, you know, on elite travel teams and having multiple trainers,
[4:47]she played multiple sports and she had a lot of fun. So it's some really great stories. But it really,
[4:52]I think, serves to maybe calm down some of the pressure that we put on ourselves to be sure that
[4:59]our children are like, are we doing enough for them? And we hear a lot of parents talking about that.
[5:02]Like, am I doing enough for my child? Am I putting them in the right opportunities? So we wanted
[5:08]to help parents out with that, like, kind of give back that way. Thank you. That's nice.
[5:13]Christy, I couldn't believe reading some of the stories from when you were growing up about your
[5:17]coach in ninth grade who told you to try not to be as good a soccer player on the team and said
[5:23]something like, it's not like you're going to end up with the Olympics. It's like, did you just
[5:26]want to like take your medals and throw them in the coach's face? I mean, I use that kind of
[5:32]statement. It's always been in the back of my head for motivation, you know, because, you know,
[5:37]in somebody of that stature, like that's somebody I looked up to as a teacher and educated,
[5:43]like when she said that to me, I was like, you know, you almost look back into yourself, like,
[5:47]am I, is that the way I'm perceived? Like, is that the way other people think of me? And,
[5:53]you know, there's a lot of like, inner voice going on at that moment. And I just had to like,
[5:57]self reflect and realize like, I loved being on the fields and planning. Like, that's where my
[6:03]strengths and that's where I became me as a person. So I made sure not to let that affect me.
[6:09]But I also use that motivation because I did want to kind of prove her wrong to be like,
[6:12]you know, you know, obviously at that moment, I didn't perceive myself playing in the Olympics,
[6:17]but I definitely wanted to make something out of myself as an athlete. So it definitely resonated
[6:22]with me. And I use that as motivation. And one of the things that's really cool about her story
[6:28]that I don't know if you remember this, but at the end, she said, I listened to her,
[6:32]and maybe I didn't score as much, but I made sure I helped my teammates score more. So she's
[6:37]played just as hard, but it, so you credit it as, that's what, that's what helps her. Yeah,
[6:42]I'm a leader. It's like, maybe it's negative information, but it's information that, you know,
[6:46]you got to decipher whether how much you're going to listen to it, but it also is, you know,
[6:51]it's a learning lesson, you know, and you don't expect to have it that age or someone of,
[6:56]you know, without authority to say that to you, but it happens. It's like something that you're going
[7:00]to face in life, I faced a little bit too early, I think. And because I feel like some parents
[7:06]fall in the bucket of excessive praise and thinking their kids can do no wrong and just building
[7:10]them up, especially in the sports arena. So to speak. And yet you came from like the opposite.
[7:16]And I know you mentioned, you know, in your book, how when you were growing up, you were more of
[7:20]a shy, quiet child. And then you ended up becoming such a leader, but it also speaks to the fact
[7:27]that you don't have to be the most outgoing, you know, raw, raw, I have the world, the wind behind
[7:33]my wings or whatever you want to say to achieve those types of goals too, which is, I think,
[7:38]such an important message. Did you feel like when you were on the field, I know you said how
[7:41]much you loved being just out there, is that sort of how you found your, not your voice,
[7:47]but your way to sort of not feel that anxiety? Absolutely. Like, I felt like I expressed myself
[7:53]through my play and through like my hard work and just like the passion that I had behind,
[7:59]the sports that loved playing. And I didn't have all those other pressures, you know, like,
[8:02]am I going to go to college and get a scholarship? Am I going to play on the US team? Like,
[8:07]I didn't really have those in mind because I was just enjoying it. I was like in the moment. So,
[8:12]you know, it definitely, you know, is a tough time at that time. But at the same time, like,
[8:17]that's who I was. Like, I just found myself and I was a process. Like, yeah, I'm quiet,
[8:22]I'm shy. Like, I only speak when I want to be heard. And I learned that when I did speak,
[8:28]my voice was heard and I was respected. And the more you do it, you know, becomes like instinctual,
[8:36]better habit. You know, it's like just saying the first word is part of it and then slowly
[8:41]getting there. And there's all different ways to lead. And that's something you definitely learned
[8:44]through sports because, you know, you always look at the loudest person is always the captain,
[8:49]or the loudest person is always heard. And that's not necessarily the case. Like, the more
[8:53]you experience sports, more you go through different teams, different sports, you realize like,
[8:59]every voice matters, you know, and that as long as you speak up and communicate, you know,
[9:04]you're contributing to whatever is going on within that time period.
[9:10]And now, look, now you're like a commentator who I thought, not wanting to public speak to
[9:16]commentating and, you know, like another message I've learned through that is like being comfortable
[9:22]with the uncomfortable. Like, I was very uncomfortable on camera. Like, I was very relaxed and
[9:28]like confident in my messaging and like how I like would see soccer and understand the sport
[9:34]and like what I was watching. But as soon as those cameras come on, it's like a whole different
[9:38]ball game. So it's just pushing myself past that comfort zone. Like, I can do this. Like, that's
[9:44]part of what I learned. And yet I couldn't work hard. Like, on the field, like I couldn't push
[9:49]through something. So I had to find different tactics in the next chapter of being a sports commentator.
[9:54]But in the beginning was tough. But again, a process like by the end, I was loving it.
[9:58]But I feel like pushing past your comfort.
[10:00]for a point could also be the title of the book.
[10:02]Cause I feel like you started the whole thing off
[10:05]with like being pregnant and having an operation
[10:09]and like, oh my gosh, like if I went for a walk,
[10:12]I think I went to like a spin glass
[10:13]in my whole pregnancy.
[10:14]And I was like, that's too much.
[10:16]I have to sit down.
[10:17]So anyway, and your ability to sort of talk yourself
[10:20]through the most excruciating pain.
[10:23]I mean, that's, I don't know.
[10:25]That's impressive.
[10:27]The mental side of what sports gives you, you know?
[10:30]Cause you're constantly hearing all these voices
[10:34]and there's so many distractions, especially nowadays
[10:36]that can defer you from that dream
[10:39]and the decisions you're making.
[10:40]So it's like, you just have to like,
[10:44]I don't know, keep pushing.
[10:46]I want to add some so you know about this.
[10:49]She actually works out with no music
[10:51]because she wants to feel her body
[10:54]and deal with that pain
[10:56]and how her body is reacting to pushing herself
[10:59]while she's exercising.
[11:01]And it's become a habit
[11:02]because now when I run every day with my dog,
[11:04]you know, and I get that time to myself as a mom,
[11:06]it's like, I'm just enjoying all the sounds around me.
[11:09]Like the environment, like just being able to wave
[11:12]to people and connect with the world
[11:14]and like, and hear myself.
[11:16]Like I just, you know, how's my day going?
[11:18]I actually kind of talked to myself,
[11:20]but that's the mental prep that you kind of learned
[11:22]through sports.
[11:23]That's why I'm not avoiding, don't avoid, you know?
[11:27]I think that's why I like swimming laps.
[11:29]It's like my one, not that I do it that often either,
[11:32]but it's like the one time where like all the rest
[11:34]of the noise stops, not just actual noise,
[11:38]but like the noise is like all the demands and all the rest
[11:41]and even running, you know, you still have your phone,
[11:43]people keep like interrupting the best songs
[11:46]while you're like checking it.
[11:47]So you can like put it all away
[11:49]and just have that time for yourself,
[11:51]especially as a mother, you know,
[11:53]because we're so busy, we're so hectic.
[11:55]The schedule is so crazy.
[11:56]So it's the, that time to like just take for yourself
[12:00]and like really enjoy it,
[12:02]but I will, you know, credit sports to that, you know?
[12:05]We'll credit like, you know, that preparation.
[12:08]So that I knew how my body was feeling.
[12:09]I could listen to my breathing.
[12:11]Like my, that inner voice is so important
[12:13]that parents don't realize through sports,
[12:15]the whole mental side of it.
[12:17]So that kind of got me through those big moments
[12:20]of winning world cups and Olympic gold medals
[12:22]because you're only listening to yourself at that moment.
[12:25]Even though there's 90,000 fans, like you hear your own voice,
[12:29]you know, and that's what you have to listen to.
[12:30]And you have to respond and react to those messages.
[12:34]And when you can talk yourself out of a negative situation,
[12:37]make it positive, that's what you're doing
[12:39]during those like last last,
[12:40]when you're running or those interval training.
[12:41]So it seems like one of the big differences
[12:45]in true success is an athlete is the ability to withstand pain.
[12:49]And I know that's like not as talked about as much.
[12:52]And there's so many great tips in the book,
[12:54]but I feel like instead of parents,
[12:56]and my world is one of like, I felt bad
[13:00]that I didn't have my kids playing soccer three times
[13:02]a week and first grade,
[13:03]because like three other parents did that in my class.
[13:05]And I had to be like, no, I really don't think this is important.
[13:08]Like I have to stay, you know, it's hard to buck that trend
[13:12]and feel like, well, why am I the only parent
[13:14]who's like, you know, not doing travel baseball?
[13:19]I don't know, because, you know,
[13:21]and I know you had this whole thing
[13:22]on special early specialization in the book,
[13:24]which I also found super important,
[13:25]because I feel like people keep thinking
[13:27]they're gonna get a leg up
[13:28]if they get their kids early, early into these sports.
[13:32]Mind you, that was in first grade for my older kids.
[13:34]Now they're 13 and not one of those boys
[13:37]is still playing soccer, PS of course, right?
[13:39]So, but maybe instead in first grade,
[13:43]they should just find a way to teach like pain management.
[13:46]Yes, that's really, that's really the skill
[13:49]that they need more than like, you know,
[13:51]how they dribble, it's like, you know.
[13:53]Absolutely.
[13:54]I mean, I think part of it is like,
[13:56]as you get older, that's the good education piece
[13:58]that I can give back to the kids,
[13:59]because I didn't really know how to necessarily push
[14:02]the pain out of younger age or like,
[14:04]what my limit was, like, you know,
[14:06]you feel like your legs can't go anymore,
[14:08]you can't breathe, but there is that extra push
[14:11]that you have in you, that as parents,
[14:12]we try to teach our kids, but they also have to experience it.
[14:16]You know, so it's making sure that they understand
[14:18]that like sports is hard work.
[14:21]You know, you're gonna have to like,
[14:23]push outside that comfort zone.
[14:25]You're not always gonna feel the best.
[14:27]You know, there's moments where you're not gonna wanna
[14:29]get up and go to training, but you committed.
[14:31]You know, so it's just like those little messages
[14:33]that we can continually talk to them about,
[14:35]because that's how my parents, you know,
[14:37]I credit a lot to my parents and how they raised me.
[14:39]And it was just like, you committed to it, you're in it, you know.
[14:43]And you're, you know, that's why I have this whole philosophy
[14:45]of like being all in like, you gotta be present.
[14:47]When you're there, don't worry about anything else.
[14:50]Like, don't worry about your socialize
[14:52]and what your friends you're doing,
[14:53]or you have a lot of homework.
[14:55]Just enjoy being at practice and enjoy your friends.
[14:58]And, you know, I think we're getting so caught up
[15:00]in this lifestyle now of like onto the next,
[15:03]onto the next, onto the next, onto the next.
[15:04]And that's what it's refreshing about.
[15:06]Like sports, I'm making sure you understand
[15:09]what sports is all about, you know,
[15:11]because I have two completely different personality
[15:15]children.
[15:16]You know, I have the one that's motivated outgoing
[15:18]and I have my introvert and needs to be pushed.
[15:21]So especially during this time that we're experiencing,
[15:24]like, you know, we're just taking a break right now
[15:27]and it's, you know, one is loving it
[15:29]and one is struggling with it.
[15:30]So it's, you know, identifying your children
[15:33]and what their needs are.
[15:34]And, you know, you can find that through sport.
[15:37]I have the same thing.
[15:38]I have one kid who I have to like basically like drag
[15:40]by the collar to like get him to do anything.
[15:43]And then my other kid is like, you know,
[15:45]TikToking 57 hours a day
[15:47]and just wanting to be around people.
[15:49]So I don't know.
[15:50]Kids are like, that's the other thing about parenting
[15:52]that I didn't realize.
[15:53]I think before I had kids, I don't know about you.
[15:54]Like we have far less affected than we think we do.
[15:58]They come out the way they are and like, you know,
[16:00]they're gonna be that way and all we can do is help them.
[16:02]And I feel like all the tools in your book
[16:04]are really helpful, not just in sports,
[16:07]but there's so much to take away from the book
[16:09]about just life in general.
[16:10]Even what we're saying about pain.
[16:11]Like the more you can deal with pain on the sports field
[16:16]or on the tennis court or wherever,
[16:19]the more you deal with pain in life,
[16:21]that's what makes you sort of a better person, right?
[16:23]Like pain is what makes you who you are after a while,
[16:26]the loss or the grief or the injuries or whatever.
[16:30]Like that's gonna make you an interesting person
[16:32]in the end of it, right?
[16:33]So it's like the ability to withstand all of that is,
[16:37]I don't know, that's just so key.
[16:39]And I feel like your book just speaks to that so much.
[16:41]So anyway, and you talked a lot in the book too
[16:44]about how parents sort of over identify
[16:48]with the success in sports with their children.
[16:50]Like if their child is like, you know,
[16:53]starting whatever I can't think of anything clever to say,
[16:55]but you know, then you feel like that's your accomplishment
[16:58]as a parent.
[16:59]When it is not your accomplishment at all,
[17:01]it's the child.
[17:02]So maybe just speak to that and hopefully some parents,
[17:05]maybe the parents who really need to hear it,
[17:07]who you worried weren't gonna buy the book
[17:08]is like, you know, obviously self-help books.
[17:11]If you're buying it, you know, not that it's self-help,
[17:13]but you know, I'm hoping that the right parents
[17:16]will hear the right messages.
[17:17]And so what can they do?
[17:19]How can they, how can parents just remember
[17:22]that like their kids or their kids
[17:23]and their success in failures are not theirs?
[17:27]Well, I think it speaks to what you said before
[17:29]about your over identifying with your child's success.
[17:33]We mentioned FOMO, you know, on Facebook,
[17:35]you're seeing other teams, elite teams training
[17:38]and am I doing enough?
[17:40]So I think our messaging really is to find that balance.
[17:44]Like when we're talking about early specialization,
[17:46]we're advocating for multiple sports.
[17:48]Obviously there's other sports like ice skating
[17:51]and gymnastics that you do need to start early.
[17:53]And it's not that we're saying don't ever specialize
[17:56]in one sport, but there's clearly a trend towards,
[17:59]it is very difficult to play multiple sports.
[18:02]Both of our daughters play soccer on the same team,
[18:05]and they both love to play basketball.
[18:08]And Christie's the coach.
[18:10]And even as the coach, we find it difficult
[18:13]to manage playing two sports,
[18:17]because there's so much demand for training in both.
[18:20]And so many kids are specialized in basketball.
[18:22]So it's really about trying to find a balance
[18:24]that works for your family.
[18:26]The book's really about like taking a step back
[18:28]and going, does this work for my family?
[18:30]Is this working for my kid?
[18:31]Is this truly our intention?
[18:33]Is it, is it fitting my child's personality?
[18:36]Or am I just kind of getting swept up in this whole thing
[18:38]and feeling like I'm just following somebody else's script here?
[18:43]It's ultimately like trying to have a better relationship
[18:45]with your child through sports.
[18:47]The bottom line is like we just get so caught up sometimes
[18:50]in the wins and losses or how they're individually performing.
[18:52]And it's just like, it's their journey.
[18:55]Like you're just the partner in it.
[18:57]You're just there to help them navigate those tough times.
[19:02]And just keep the communication alive and just make sure
[19:05]that you have like the same values and the trust
[19:08]between each other so that they can go out there
[19:09]and be the best kid that they can be
[19:11]and have the most confidence that they can have.
[19:13]And they're going to lose confidence,
[19:14]but it's you're there to help pick them up
[19:16]and like like then continue on and let them know
[19:19]that this is just part of life.
[19:21]Life's a roller coaster.
[19:22]You're going to have some ups and downs
[19:23]and it's how we react and respond to it.
[19:25]But that's, we found through all of our research
[19:29]and talking that it's just like parents and kids
[19:32]are kind of like battling over sports rather than just
[19:35]enjoying it and bracing it together.
[19:37]Totally.
[19:38]And I love all the like little specific actionable tips
[19:42]you include like even what to say in the car ride home
[19:44]and just how to talk more nicely to the coaches
[19:48]and what topics to bring up and what not to do here.
[19:52]So it's super user friendly.
[19:55]On this specialization note,
[19:56]like my husband actually grew up playing lots of sports
[19:58]like baseball and then he was a high school.
[20:00]Well, quarterback and started playing tennis
[20:02]to work on his footwork for football.
[20:05]And he ended up loving tennis.
[20:06]This was in high school, which I feel like in today's day
[20:09]and age you'd be like, you know,
[20:11]forget not that he didn't play tennis,
[20:12]but he hadn't really serious.
[20:13]And then he ended up being a professional,
[20:15]in professional tennis for 15 years.
[20:17]And he never would have tried it.
[20:19]I feel like, even though he's not like that old,
[20:21]I feel like today, those things like don't happen as much.
[20:24]And I think it's a shame,
[20:25]because then you miss out on your potential as an athlete
[20:28]if you don't try it.
[20:29]And I think as parents,
[20:31]which is I think what your book seeks to do,
[20:32]it's our responsibility to continue to help the kids.
[20:36]Like foster that love of just movement
[20:38]and your body and teams too.
[20:41]I mean, the importance of being a part of a team,
[20:43]I think is like one of the best things
[20:45]you can give kids in an early age, right?
[20:47]And what do you think about that?
[20:49]Yeah, team sports is huge.
[20:50]There's so many life lessons that you graph with.
[20:53]You're just working how to work with others.
[20:56]You know, like how to use your voice,
[20:57]how to be a leader when asked upon.
[21:00]You know, it's, you know, difficult situations
[21:03]with lens losses, position change.
[21:05]You know, and we just,
[21:07]that's what's so great about sports.
[21:08]And like you said with your husband,
[21:09]like I went to college on a basketball scholarship,
[21:13]you know, and looked my path to, you know,
[21:15]my path went down the soccer route, you know,
[21:18]and you just never know,
[21:20]because we all develop at different times.
[21:23]You know, like I was a, as you consider a late bloomer,
[21:26]you know, I was athletic,
[21:27]but I didn't really have a skill set for soccer.
[21:30]I mean, I developed that when I almost made a national team.
[21:33]So it just, you don't know what course your kid is on.
[21:36]Like just allow them to express themselves,
[21:38]allow them to choose what they want to do,
[21:40]because we also found that like,
[21:42]if kids actually pick the sports,
[21:44]rather than the parents forcing them into it,
[21:46]there's more dedication, there's more commitment,
[21:48]there's more passion behind it.
[21:50]And you know, they feel like they've made their own choices.
[21:53]And that's what's kind of exciting to see,
[21:56]because I've seen that through my own kids.
[21:58]I've just, you know, here,
[22:00]play soccer because mom played it.
[22:01]Like one loves it and one, you know,
[22:04]is like, yeah, you know, I'm gonna try something else, you know?
[22:06]So, and I'm okay with that,
[22:08]because I want it to be about her.
[22:09]Like I experienced this amazing journey through sports,
[22:13]but she has to experience their own journey.
[22:15]And if it's through dance or swimming,
[22:18]you know, she's trying it all right now,
[22:19]because they're just trying to figure out like,
[22:21]what's her motivation?
[22:23]Like what is she gonna get up in the morning and want to do?
[22:25]Because I told her like, you have to choose,
[22:27]but you have to do something totally.
[22:28]Like you're knocking it on, you know,
[22:30]Dr. Keenan, I talk about a lot,
[22:32]because she has a son the same age as my daughter, Easton.
[22:35]We have the same kind of child.
[22:37]So we're always bouncing stuff up each other.
[22:39]It's like that motivation factor,
[22:40]but they have to find it.
[22:42]They can't do it because their older siblings do it.
[22:45]You know, and a lot of times the younger siblings
[22:46]tired of sitting at a soccer field
[22:48]or tired going to a basketball court.
[22:49]Like they want their own story.
[22:52]And that's kind of like,
[22:53]and it's, I think, easier for parents
[22:55]just to kind of keep them doing the same thing
[22:57]and the same sport or the same club.
[22:59]But it's like, no, let them be with the art,
[23:02]because they're, you don't want them to regress
[23:04]and, you know, turn it to something
[23:06]that they're not capable of being.
[23:07]Like they're professional spectators right now
[23:09]to them.
[23:11]They've been driving every basketball and soccer game.
[23:13]Yeah, I love them.
[23:15]I used to like drag my kids with me
[23:17]when I would take tennis lessons.
[23:18]And so I was like, well, I'm gonna make sure
[23:21]they play tennis because like what a skill
[23:23]and I love tennis, they're gonna love tennis.
[23:25]And that's actually, I shouldn't even tell the story.
[23:26]This is actually how I met my husband
[23:28]because when I met him, he had been coaching
[23:30]like professional tennis,
[23:31]but then he was also doing like kids lessons at times.
[23:33]So I brought my son, who loved football, right?
[23:36]Hated tennis was wearing like head to toe Broncos gear.
[23:40]Didn't like tennis at all.
[23:41]I had to like drag him to this lesson,
[23:44]get him out there.
[23:45]And that's what I met in my husband, Kyle.
[23:47]And he was his teacher.
[23:48]And he calls me out to the court after five minutes
[23:50]and is like, hey, you know, your son doesn't like tennis.
[23:53]And I was like, yeah, I know that.
[23:55]And he's like, well, I don't think he should be taking
[23:57]tennis lessons.
[23:58]And I was like, well, I do.
[23:59]And he's like, well, he's not gonna be taking
[24:01]tennis lessons for me.
[24:02]And I was like, oh, okay, who is this guy?
[24:05]Anyway, now we're married, so whatever.
[24:07]Anyway, but the point is like,
[24:09]it's such a parenting fail of mine
[24:10]because I just assumed like if I loved it, he'll love it.
[24:14]And now that I'm not like forcing him to play tennis,
[24:17]he plays tennis.
[24:18]Like he'll be like, yeah, let's just play.
[24:20]And I'm like, oh, anyway.
[24:22]The advantage of having multiple kids
[24:24]is I won't mess up my little kids as much.
[24:25]But, you know, but just because I haven't interviewed
[24:29]any other Olympic athletes, I don't think.
[24:31]What do you think is the key to attaining that level of success?
[24:36]And then I just want any advice to either aspiring athletes
[24:39]or aspiring authors, but just to get to that level.
[24:42]What's the advice there?
[24:43]As a parent or as a player?
[24:46]To get that level, just you have to have the passion for it.
[24:49]You have to love it and want to get better each and every day.
[24:54]And I think the key to get there is just like,
[24:57]like that competitive edge to want to push not only yourself
[25:01]but everybody around you.
[25:03]And I look at it right now.
[25:04]Like a lot of parents will always ask me,
[25:06]like especially during this time,
[25:07]like is your kid self motivated or are you pushing them
[25:11]to do something?
[25:12]Like if they really truly love it
[25:14]and can't wait to get back on the field,
[25:16]the core of the ice, whatever it is,
[25:18]they should be out there like inspiring themselves
[25:20]and pushing to get better.
[25:22]And then you really truly know like,
[25:24]they love what they do, you know?
[25:26]And I do love the competing aspects.
[25:29]So like the skills that was always tough for me.
[25:31]But I knew I had to,
[25:33]I never want to disappoint my teammates.
[25:35]So I always had some type of motivation
[25:37]whether it was for myself or my teammates to keep me going,
[25:41]you know, during those like tough times.
[25:43]But to get that level, it's a huge commitment.
[25:45]But I would say it's a lot more mental
[25:48]than a lot of people think, you know,
[25:50]they just look at, I guess the TV
[25:52]and they see the physical side of it.
[25:53]They see the technical side of it with their watching.
[25:56]But there's so much of the mental side
[25:59]that goes into it.
[26:00]So you have to be mentally strong
[26:03]and tough to compete at that level.
[26:06]And understand you're gonna make mistakes
[26:08]and you're not gonna be perfect.
[26:09]And you know, like I was always trying to be perfect
[26:13]in the beginning and that was tough.
[26:15]Like I didn't do well when I was always comparing myself
[26:18]to others or, you know, trying to be perfect.
[26:20]And I realized like the mindset I had to switch to
[26:23]because I was always the best in every sport I played
[26:26]at a young level.
[26:27]But not when you get to the national team,
[26:29]you know, like you have to change a little bit.
[26:30]And it was more of like striving for that excellence.
[26:33]But I will say the mental side is what keeps you there.
[26:36]Like I think everybody has the abilities and not everybody.
[26:39]But like there's a good percentage to have the ability
[26:41]to get there.
[26:42]But the mental side is what keeps you there.
[26:45]And what about having the endurance to write a book?
[26:48]Yeah.
[26:49]Well, like I just went through all my experience.
[26:51]I was like, I've always been someone that loves to educate
[26:55]and kind of give back.
[26:57]And what better way to write this book
[26:59]when I've had 19 years of experience at the national team.
[27:02]I've been through, you know,
[27:04]a couple years of professional.
[27:06]Like I've probably had 20 head coaches, you know,
[27:09]so you're just hearing such different information,
[27:12]different strategies, different techniques.
[27:14]And it was like, I have all this information I need
[27:17]to express it and help.
[27:19]Because the sports world is getting a little bit crazy.
[27:22]I will say as a coach in hearing what I hear on the sidelines
[27:25]and parents freaking out about, you know,
[27:28]getting scholarships and what they need to do.
[27:30]And are they in the right place?
[27:31]And, you know, my always messages,
[27:33]as long as they have a good coach
[27:35]and they're learning and growing
[27:36]and you see them developing, they're in a good place.
[27:39]Cause you don't wanna put them in a place just for a label,
[27:43]just for the name.
[27:44]Because that's not gonna get them anywhere.
[27:46]Cause again, it's about your individual child
[27:48]and their mental side of it.
[27:49]And if they don't really enjoy what they're doing,
[27:53]it'll come out in the end.
[27:54]Like, you know, the message isn't gonna be good
[27:57]in the end cause the child is not really gonna be happy.
[28:00]And so when you're confident,
[28:02]that's when you're playing the best.
[28:04]And the confidence comes through on the belief
[28:06]you're in the right place and doing the right thing to help.
[28:09]So it's, you know, it's all encompassing,
[28:11]but I think that's why it was so neat to write
[28:14]this book in the two years of just kind of banter
[28:17]back and forth with the Dr. King.
[28:18]Cause I would say like, oh, I was, you know,
[28:21]before games I'd feel this way and she's like,
[28:22]well, that's because and she would like
[28:24]throw the whole like brain development.
[28:26]I'm like, okay.
[28:27]And I was like, it drives me nuts.
[28:28]When parents are screaming at their kids
[28:29]to do something when they're not capable of doing it.
[28:33]I know that as like a coach,
[28:34]she knows on the mental side,
[28:36]like their brain and the processing is not there.
[28:39]So it's just trying to say like,
[28:40]hey, take a step back,
[28:41]like in your screaming at your kid on the sideline
[28:43]and they're getting information from the coach, parent
[28:46]and then they have their own self
[28:47]and what they want to do and it's tough.
[28:50]But I don't think parents really embrace
[28:53]the whole concept of sport.
[28:54]And we're getting caught away
[28:55]with I think the money part of it
[28:57]and less of the enjoyment.
[29:00]And we're just hopefully can bring back
[29:01]a little bit of the love for playing
[29:03]and why we play sports versus just being all about money
[29:07]and putting them in the sport for the wrong reason.
[29:10]Like everything you're saying relates to every part of life.
[29:13]Like I just keep thinking.
[29:14]Like everything she's, I'm like,
[29:16]oh, I could extrapolate this to everything.
[29:18]This is like for kids and grown-ups.
[29:20]I mean, it's such just great life advice.
[29:23]Like do what you're passionate about.
[29:24]Like enjoy it or you won't be that good at it.
[29:27]It's like all that it's just so true
[29:29]but it's so good to hear.
[29:30]I think we just don't take the time to listen to ourselves.
[29:33]I think that's one of the biggest lessons I learned
[29:35]as a captain is you have to be a good listener.
[29:37]In order to be a good leader,
[29:38]you have to be a good listener.
[29:39]And I think we get so caught up in stuff.
[29:41]It's like listen to like what's going on in life
[29:45]and like body language.
[29:47]Like we talk in the book.
[29:48]Like nonverbal communication is huge.
[29:51]Like you can really, if you actually take a step back
[29:55]and are aware of what's going on in life
[29:58]with your child, you'll be able to tell.
[30:00]everything. Like they wear it, you know, but it's like we're so, and that's why I hope people read
[30:05]this book because you asked a lot of the messages, you're like, yeah, it's like, you know, I could
[30:09]relate that to a lot, but it's just like, are you? Like that's kind of the question to parents,
[30:13]it's like, you know, we all know the answer, but like, are you listening to yourselves, you know,
[30:17]this is kind of just, you know, different ways of, you know, self-reflecting and looking at yourself
[30:23]as a parent, and can you help, you know, what can you do in your, your busy schedule?
[30:28]I'm glad you mentioned the body language part because I love that chart, like, what exactly
[30:32]your position? Like, if you're doing this, and if you're looking down at all the rest, and I was
[30:36]literally thinking to myself, like, I should put this on the fridge because this is like your attitude
[30:41]towards everything, really. It's not just on the soccer field, right? So super useful, especially for
[30:47]kids who might not have that level of sort of emotional intelligence to perceive that that's what
[30:52]it means when they do certain things. So anyway, I really like seeing them, they can change the
[30:57]energy of a game by changing body language, and a lot of kids don't understand that. The coaches
[31:02]may not tell them that, but as a parent, that's where you can come in and explain that and teach
[31:06]them how powerful they can be that way. Now, I feel like I need to sit up straighter talking to you
[31:10]guys. I'm like, I'll slam to what is this thing about me? Anyway, this is like my soccer week,
[31:17]because yesterday I interviewed Glenn and Doyle who's married to Abby, and so many. So anyway,
[31:22]I'm having like, now I feel like I should go outside and just start kicking the soccer ball around
[31:26]anyway, do you have any parting advice to aspiring authors? And then I will let you go. I know it's
[31:30]gone long. Yeah, I think for other authors that are aspiring, it's kind of very similar to sports
[31:35]and using your voice. It's like just start writing it down. Like just get your thoughts. That's what
[31:40]we did. We were just talking so much and writing stuff down. And then we're like, let's just write a
[31:45]book, right? Like go for it. And you know, it is a process like anything else in life. And I didn't realize
[31:51]how much, you know, after we wrote it, I didn't realize how much goes into it afterwards. But like,
[31:57]you know, it's just the, it's an amazing, just amazing time over the last two years of being able to
[32:03]just kind of go back through like all our thoughts and just getting it down and like feeling
[32:08]accomplished. You know, like after sports, I was like, what is my purpose? You know, and this helped
[32:14]with my purpose. Because I'm like, now it's about serving and giving back and all the experiences
[32:21]I don't want it to go to waste. And the same thing with Dr. Keen, she's got such an amazing brain.
[32:25]And like she understands the whole aspect of sport and where kids should be. And just to hearing,
[32:32]and that's why I love that the connection we have because, you know, she is able to talk about things
[32:38]that I can't even understand of like why my brain is thinking this right now or how do I stop my
[32:43]anxiety or how do I like stop with like always overthinking like it's just a good combination of sports
[32:50]and the mental side of it. And yeah, she helped me, you know, we've helped each other
[32:53]than push through it. Definitely. Like, allying my fear is like, well, if Christine Pierce
[32:57]her own poem doesn't have her child in four nights of training and, you know, and she can be
[33:03]relaxed about it, you know, I can take a cue from that as well. But I think for aspiring authors,
[33:09]I would go back to what Christine said before, to get through, I mean, obviously writing a book
[33:13]is going to take a pretty long time. So, and it takes a lot of perseverance and determination.
[33:19]I think they say a lot of people they'll start writing. They'll stop, you know, after a couple
[33:23]like three months. That's usually where people kind of cut it off. But we were so passionate about
[33:27]the topic. We love talking about this. We love to help. We interact with youth sports parents all the
[33:32]time. So I think our passion for the topic, we felt like was an important topic. And that was
[33:37]always the feedback. You know, people get excited to talk about it. And then, you know, maybe we can,
[33:42]you know, make a difference and change youth sports landscape by doing this.
[33:45]I mean, every team should get every player a copy of this book. That's like how it should be,
[33:50]should be the distribution strategy. And by the way, if you're not that you need my help on this,
[33:56]I'm sure you two have a zillion ideas. But I think your next book should be about what happens
[34:01]after you stop playing competitive sports. Because I don't think there's enough out there to help
[34:05]people who used to be like a really high level athlete. And then they have to just be regular adults.
[34:11]So anyway, if you're looking for another project, I would, I would suggest that one.
[34:16]Who are your sports? What is it? And that happens to kids when they get hurt. You know,
[34:22]kids are out for six months or a year. And then they're like, who am I? And they have to redefine
[34:28]themselves or maybe friendships and social circles. That's something we address too on the book.
[34:32]We're taking your advice. Good. Go for it. Goodbye. Go get working.
[34:37]Thank you so much for all your time. Thanks for coming on Monster Time to Read Books.
[34:41]Of course. Thank you so much. Appreciate it.
[35:11]So much to Steve and Ryan at Texture Sound for the Sound Editing. And thank you to Morning
[35:16]Moon Productions for providing this fantastic intro and out trim music. Thanks for listening.
[35:20]You could always email me at zibi at zibiowans.com.