Tracy Tutor, FEAR IS JUST A FOUR-LETTER WORD
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[1:25]Thank you, booknecks for sponsoring. I got such a kick out of doing an Instagram live with Tracy Tudor,
[1:31]who is the first female real estate broker on million dollar listing LA, which we have been
[1:36]watching quite a bit of. During the quarantine, she wrote a book called Fear is just a four-letter
[1:41]word, how to develop the unstoppable confidence to own any room. She's one of the top agents at Douglas
[1:47]element Beverly Hills and is a graduate of University of Southern California and is a California native.
[1:53]Hi! Hi! How are you? I'm really good. How are you? I love it. Are those the author
[2:00]letters in the back? I saw the pictures I Instagram. Yes, we still have them. Although now
[2:05]they're in the kitchen and we're not really sure what they spell anymore. We're going to do some
[2:09]anagrams later. Oh, that was so sweet though of your daughter's nuisance. I mean, I was so nice.
[2:15]I was so surprised. I legit started falling. Everybody thinks I'm so tough, but I'm really just
[2:22]a big wuss. I feel like you were trying hard to refute that assumption in the book by
[2:30]referencing many times where you were a puddle or a mess or whatever. And then that's okay.
[2:34]So that's good. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's important that we have vulnerable moments and share that
[2:40]with the people that think that we're just, you know, tough, boss bees. Yeah. Everybody's got a
[2:47]lot of sides to them. Yeah, absolutely. So congratulations on Pumb Day this week of your book. It's
[2:53]super exciting. Thank you. It's been a roller coaster this week and last week, but I have like
[2:59]so much gratitude for the fans of the show and for the women in particular that have been
[3:05]so supportive. You know, this book was a major journey for me and very cathartic one and then
[3:12]to have it launch in the middle of a pandemic. I felt behind the eight ball, but we've pivoted
[3:18]and shifted and this entire campaign has been digital and, you know, we hope that we have great
[3:23]success with it. And I saw that even just you're announcing the book made it in Amazon bestseller.
[3:28]So I feel like you're going to do just five. Yeah. Thank you for that. I appreciate it. What
[3:33]made you want to write a book to begin with? What was the inspiration for this?
[3:36]I truly felt like I had a platform being the one female cast member on really two shows,
[3:43]both billion dollar listed New York and Los Angeles. And I felt it was important that I gave back
[3:49]to the females that are not only in my community and real estate, but just little entrepreneurs
[3:54]around the world that, you know, have big ideas and are intimidated by some of the power
[4:00]plays and the male dynamics and misogyny that happens in this world. That I love how you broke down
[4:08]like the different personality types of powerful men that you might have to deal with because I
[4:13]feel like that this does not just apply and work. This is like an any aspect of your life. These tips
[4:18]are super, super helpful. I appreciate that. You know, I do think it's important to recognize
[4:24]the different personality types that you can figure out how to cope with those personalities,
[4:27]because, you know, it's not just getting the job, but then it's being able to manage it and figure
[4:33]out what's, you know, what's the healthiest decision not only for you and the client that you're
[4:37]dealing with, but how about all your other clients? You know, I experienced that on the show. I'm not
[4:42]sure if you saw the episode yet, but you know, with my Malibu series, you know, I saw it. I mean,
[4:48]you know, it was a lot. And I had to really take myself out of my comfort zone and then analyze
[4:54]is this really worth it? And, you know, that's a question that I think we all have to ask ourselves
[4:59]what we're dealing with those types of egos and dynamics. Sometimes the monetary advancement
[5:06]is worth it, but you better go back and forth with yourself every single day and ask yourself
[5:10]that same question. You know, I feel like you gave so much good specific advice, but one of the
[5:15]things that I felt like you mentioned over and over and over again was the fact that you had all
[5:19]these instincts and that often you ignored them for some reason, right? Like, oh, maybe I had a
[5:24]bad vibe about this guy Ted, but whatever. I'm going to just roll with it. But every example you gave
[5:30]of ignoring your instincts, like came back to bite you. And I feel like that was like one of the
[5:34]biggest themes of the book is just like you have to listen to that inner voice even when everything
[5:39]on the outside seems to point in a different direction. Of course. I mean, of course, like, you know,
[5:43]red flags. We as women see them all the time and we're like, no, no, no, that's not a red flag.
[5:50]The truth is we should know by now that we have a gift as women and we don't utilize it enough.
[5:58]An art intuition is everything. And if we started using that more in the boardrooms that we have
[6:03]to walk into against those big egos, we could deflect a lot of the power plays that they make.
[6:09]And I've been using it more and more. And by the way, now that I've written the book, I
[6:13]hold myself to a different standard because it's all black and white now. So you know, I was
[6:19]reading a chapter where I was doing the audible book, you know, a few weeks ago. And at the end of
[6:25]the chapter, the editor, I was like, I got to take a break because I had gone just back to back
[6:29]to chapters and they were like, what's wrong? And I said, I'm just pissed at myself because I
[6:33]totally didn't follow any of my own advice this week. You know, and I think it really is
[6:38]a practice that, you know, this book is and, you know, talking to yourself and trusting your gut
[6:45]and going with it because it's going to serve you correctly more often than it won't.
[6:51]But I thought that was something that was so that made you so likable in the book. I mean,
[6:55]not that you're not likable elsewhere, but you're super likable. But I just made one of the things
[6:59]was that you said, here's what you should do. And PS, actually, I didn't do it that way. And that's
[7:04]why I'm giving you this other advice. Like, that was great because I feel like in so many books,
[7:08]experts say, this is what you should do, kind of story. And you're like, I totally messed up the
[7:13]situation. But now I've learned, so take just take what I've learned from the bad and you go run
[7:18]with that. So it was like, thank you for like living out the mistakes that might have made and I'm
[7:23]sure I made it. Well, and by the way, right, I'm still make, I still make mistakes. And I think
[7:28]imperfection is something that is also super freeing. You know, I think as a single mom and a successful
[7:35]career woman, we have all these expectations on herself that are just really BS. And, you know,
[7:41]the more we embrace imperfection as successful career women and the more that our children
[7:47]understand what that dynamic is. So that when they grow up, they have that confidence to be able
[7:54]to do it on their own. I think those are the most important things. And that's what kind of takes
[7:58]all that anxiety off the table because we can't be a hundred places at once. I'm the mom
[8:04]that will show up to the horse show. And everybody else will be wearing boots. And I'll be
[8:08]coming from a listing pitch and a pair of pumps and a pencil skirt feeling like a total, you know,
[8:13]whack. But the truth is, I'm doing the best that I can't. I'm showing up. And, you know, that to me
[8:20]is the most important thing. Well, I'm sure that's what's important to your daughter too. I mean,
[8:24]it is. And yes, I'm sure all the other moms are like, wow, I wish I looked like that in a pencil
[8:29]skirt. So, you know, everybody wants what they can't have. You know what I mean? So, yeah.
[8:35]And I saw on Instagram and in the press and all the rest that you're going through a divorce
[8:40]and now you're in a new relationship. And I went through a divorce myself like at age 40 and I have
[8:45]four kids, including like teenagers now. And so anyway, I was feeling like we had a lot to talk about
[8:51]in that regard. Oh, I'm sure we do. Yeah. You know, I feel like I'm on the other side of that now.
[8:58]And I mean, a good place with my girls, you know, it was definitely a chapter and that I was
[9:04]ready to close and open a new one. But you know, in that journey, the last two years, you know,
[9:12]people think, of course, on the show that this that just happened, but it's been two years. And,
[9:18]you know, I'm in a new relationship. I'm enjoying myself. I'm living in the present. I'm not focusing
[9:23]on what happened yesterday anymore because that's it's in the past. And I can't control that.
[9:28]And I certainly don't want to control the future. So, I'm just living for today and I'm
[9:32]super happy if you've seen on Instagram because yes. And you know what? He's given me some great
[9:38]apps too. So, I ended up marrying my tennis pro. Actually, I did. I did. So, I have gotten so
[9:48]great at tennis. I have to say. I've done right now. I'm like such a cliche, but screw it. There's
[9:56]truth in cliches, isn't there? I know. Actually, my husband is
[10:00]So funny, because he's like, for a while,
[10:01]people didn't want to date me because it was so cliche.
[10:03]I mean, not really, they did.
[10:04]But it's so cliche to date the tennis throw.
[10:07]So people are like, just screwing it against me
[10:10]because that's fun.
[10:12]I get the same thing.
[10:13]And I'm like, you know what, if you guys
[10:15]can't be happy for me and see that I'm living in the moment
[10:19]and I'm doing me then to hell with you guys
[10:22]because the truth is, I'm having a great time.
[10:25]I've never felt better.
[10:26]I've never felt healthier.
[10:28]I'm more focused.
[10:29]Everything's happening in my life with this book
[10:31]and my career, my girls look up to me.
[10:34]Like, I'm living my best life.
[10:37]Truth.
[10:38]Yes.
[10:38]Well, I just feel like, I don't know.
[10:40]From when I was like a kid, I mean,
[10:41]I don't know if your mom said stuff like this to you.
[10:43]But like, if people are mean to you,
[10:44]it's because they're jealous of you.
[10:46]And I was kind of like, nobody's jealous of me
[10:47]like in my Laura Ashley skirt, like hiding against them.
[10:49]Well, but you know, there's some truth to that.
[10:52]Like a lot of the naysayers and people
[10:54]want to put you down.
[10:55]They just are jealous.
[10:56]And then those are your people.
[10:57]So forget it, you know?
[10:58]Yeah, I really do.
[11:00]I try not to get sucked into the trolls, you know,
[11:03]on different social media platforms.
[11:05]Sometimes I can't help myself and I have to speak up.
[11:08]And that's okay, too.
[11:10]But, you know, the support that I have from women
[11:13]that watch the show and support me
[11:16]on my social media platforms
[11:17]and have gone out and bought this book,
[11:19]those are my people.
[11:20]They're like my tribe.
[11:21]And I'm a girls girl.
[11:23]And I like heart of hearts.
[11:25]Like, I think there's a difference.
[11:26]There's chicks.
[11:27]And then there's girls girls.
[11:29]And I want to be able to try with a bunch of women
[11:31]who celebrate me, who I can celebrate right back
[11:34]and lift up.
[11:34]And, you know, I choose that.
[11:36]I love women.
[11:38]That's awesome.
[11:39]And also in the book, you talked about how relationships
[11:41]can fluctuate so much, even with your sister, right?
[11:44]You talk about how you didn't give you a listing
[11:46]in the beginning.
[11:47]And that was like so gutting.
[11:48]And you were like, how am I going to come back from that?
[11:50]And now you have your relationship
[11:52]that's in a different place.
[11:53]I'm like speaking for you as if I know this intimately.
[11:55]It's just for the book.
[11:56]But maybe you used to talk about it.
[11:59]That was a moment for me.
[12:00]And people always ask me that.
[12:01]And I forget that story.
[12:02]Because I really do talk about it a lot,
[12:05]like a transforming moment for me.
[12:07]And it was.
[12:08]It was when my sister, you know,
[12:10]went through another broker to purchase her home.
[12:12]And I thought to myself, if my own family
[12:15]doesn't believe in me enough to represent them
[12:19]on their real estate acquisitions,
[12:20]like who the hell else is going to hire me?
[12:23]And it really took me down.
[12:24]And I was devastated.
[12:26]And then I started to realize, well, that's a little self-involved.
[12:29]Like I had just had a baby.
[12:31]I was breastfeeding.
[12:32]I was totally disconnected for the world.
[12:34]I was suffering from postpartum at the time.
[12:37]And you know, and then no one told me.
[12:40]So I felt betrayed.
[12:41]But the truth is, I was very much in my own world.
[12:44]And you know, on the other side of that,
[12:46]once I processed that, I was like, you know what?
[12:50]I'm going to go out there.
[12:51]I'm going to work 10 times harder.
[12:53]And, you know, the next time an opportunity comes around,
[12:56]I'm going to be ready for it.
[12:57]And it was a great lesson in humility.
[13:00]And also reminding myself that I am going to have
[13:03]to be very vocal about the things that I want in this life.
[13:06]And so I have, I listed her house actually this year,
[13:11]right before we went into COVID.
[13:13]And, you know, we're having a lot of great showings.
[13:15]And hopefully I'll close it.
[13:16]And that will be one of my biggest sales today.
[13:20]Great. And then we can watch it on the show.
[13:22]Yeah, a little circle.
[13:25]I just wanted to read one of my favorite quotes from the book.
[13:27]You said, chameleons don't wake up and decide
[13:30]it'd be better to be a polar bear that day.
[13:32]But they're always themselves just with a little
[13:34]different coloring from one situation to the next.
[13:37]I thought that was so great.
[13:38]Because you talk about being in all these different situations.
[13:41]And, yeah, okay, you can act differently
[13:43]with your daughter from your client,
[13:45]from, you know, the moms at the horse show or whatever.
[13:48]But like you have to still maintain that inner core
[13:51]of who you are or forget it, right?
[13:53]So I feel like that was another big message from your book.
[13:56]100% I do believe in being able to walk into a room
[14:00]and be a chameleon.
[14:01]So long as you have the understanding
[14:02]of who you are intimately because you cannot be a chameleon
[14:06]if you don't know yourself.
[14:07]And you haven't accepted who you are
[14:09]and you haven't been able to show who you are to everybody else
[14:13]and be completely authentic.
[14:15]Once you have the first piece,
[14:17]then you can start becoming a chameleon again
[14:19]because you can come back to yourself.
[14:22]And that's a fine line.
[14:23]Like a lot of people think they know themselves,
[14:25]but they're not really 100% being honest with who they are.
[14:28]And once you start being a chameleon,
[14:31]people are gonna read that the wrong way.
[14:32]And that can be super ineffective totally.
[14:35]And I have to keep being like,
[14:36]and this from the book and that from the book,
[14:38]but like, I love your call.
[14:40]There's some of my favorite moments.
[14:42]So I know that you are resonating with them.
[14:44]Oh, good, I'm so glad.
[14:45]When you talked about the times
[14:47]when you were going through a lot of personal stuff, right?
[14:49]Because all of it, especially with your divorce
[14:51]and figuring out what's the kids
[14:53]and relocating and all of it,
[14:55]you still have to then go on a show, right?
[14:58]So most people just have to maybe go into work now,
[15:01]nobody has to.
[15:01]Now, whatever, we're on Zoom.
[15:03]Like you have to show up and like be on a bravo show
[15:07]in front of how many whoever watches the show.
[15:09]And you talked about how difficult that was
[15:11]and how you just had to power through
[15:13]and like put on the face essentially
[15:15]of that version of yourself.
[15:17]So tell me a little more about that
[15:20]and having to be so, you know,
[15:22]it was crazy.
[15:23]It was crazy because that whole first season
[15:26]that I was on the show,
[15:28]I was privately going through a divorce
[15:32]and dealing with that.
[15:34]And I go to set or to houses to film
[15:39]or to interview days.
[15:41]And I never spoke a word of it.
[15:43]And obviously I ended up filing at the end of the season
[15:48]and that came out and the show hadn't aired yet.
[15:50]And so they put that like that screen up at the end
[15:54]saying, Josh and Heather Altman are pregnant
[15:56]with their second child.
[15:58]And, you know, Bobby and Josh got married
[16:01]and extravagant affair.
[16:03]Grace Tracy filed for divorce
[16:05]from her husband of 13 years.
[16:07]They maintain a positive relationship with their two children.
[16:10]went way, way, you know, like it sucked.
[16:14]And then of course I had to come back the second season.
[16:16]And, you know, there was obviously some opinions
[16:19]about, you know, me being a career woman.
[16:22]And obviously my first season was, you know, a boss.
[16:27]And, you know, perceptions of why my husband and I weren't
[16:30]together or revolved around that.
[16:32]And that was obviously a gigantic misconception.
[16:37]And I wasn't gonna sit around and let people
[16:39]paint a picture about me that wasn't true.
[16:42]So I had to sort of bring my vulnerability to the camera
[16:47]and share with that Bravo audience, you know,
[16:51]what I was privately going through.
[16:52]And, you know, I still struggle with it.
[16:55]Moving on from my own house this season,
[16:57]which I talk a little bit about on the show,
[16:59]was a big piece of my personal life.
[17:02]And that's tough to share with everybody every single day.
[17:05]But the truth is it's my personal story.
[17:08]You won't get to see my kids on the show.
[17:10]And so I think some of the audiences like,
[17:14]this is all she cares about is herself
[17:16]and working hard in the truth is that's not at all.
[17:18]And now I think the fans are, you know,
[17:21]warming up to me, getting to know me and connecting,
[17:25]I think more than they have in the past.
[17:29]And you're so great as a broker too.
[17:31]Just like all the creative ideas that you have
[17:33]on the show are so awesome.
[17:34]Like I loved your love, that's the red party
[17:36]and that adorable house was like,
[17:38]I wouldn't buy that a place, that's adorable.
[17:41]Yeah, that was a fun one.
[17:42]We try to get creative.
[17:44]I mean, you know, also we're doing a TV show
[17:46]about real estate, you know?
[17:48]And these are high stakes.
[17:50]And these clients have expectations that, you know,
[17:54]for even us are difficult to navigate and manage.
[17:56]But I think at this point,
[17:58]we're all just trying to like one up each other,
[18:00]like who can throw the bigger or crazier event?
[18:02]I mean, Josh was in like a,
[18:04]I haven't seen the episode yet,
[18:06]but he's like, in a, he's like fighting a sword with swords
[18:10]and I mean, the whole thing is bananas.
[18:13]You said in the book, how you originally wanted to be an actress
[18:16]and how a friend of yours became an actress
[18:18]and you were like, actually, no,
[18:19]that doesn't sound so great after all.
[18:21]And now you kind of have like the best of both worlds
[18:23]because you're, you get screen time,
[18:25]but you don't have to really act.
[18:26]I mean, you're on, you know, it's your life.
[18:29]It's a full circle moment for sure,
[18:31]but I do think a lot of failed actors end up
[18:33]as real estate agents.
[18:34]It's like a bit, you know,
[18:35]we're good at selling ourselves.
[18:37]Maybe we'll be good at selling real estate.
[18:39]And I think there are a lot of similarities there,
[18:41]but it wasn't funny moment when, you know,
[18:44]20 years later, here I am on a TV show.
[18:48]And I, I'm not really acting.
[18:51]I'm, I'm just being me.
[18:54]Yeah, which turns out is what people want to watch.
[18:56]Like forget the acting in somebody else,
[18:58]quite hard.
[18:59]Father, that's great.
[19:02]You talk in the book about having a million dollar backbone,
[19:05]which you only said like once,
[19:07]but I thought was such a great,
[19:08]I feel like you need to make that your next Instagram post
[19:11]or something because it's such a,
[19:12]it's such a thing that women need to remember
[19:15]that like in any situation, that's what you need.
[19:18]You need to like stand up for yourself and be vocal
[19:21]and do all the things that you say in the book.
[19:23]So anyway, you just,
[19:25]you just gave me my next caption.
[19:26]I mean, I was, I have to post a workout, you know,
[19:30]because everybody has been enjoying that lately.
[19:33]So I was wondering what my caption should be.
[19:35]And I think it's gonna be a million dollar backbone
[19:37]because I was saying, you know,
[19:39]talking about the difference between confidence and ego
[19:42]and it's often misinterpreted.
[19:44]And my confidence has sometimes reportedly been,
[19:48]you know, that I have a big ego.
[19:49]And I, I sometimes am like, are you joking?
[19:52]Like me against the four other men on the show
[19:54]and I'm the one with the ego.
[19:56]So I think, you know, being a strong female,
[19:59]that's something bad.
[20:00]I want to speak to and remind myself that I'm actually totally cool with the fact that I'm confident and it doesn't mean I'm
[20:07]Ego maniac. It just means that I feel good in my body and I feel good in my mind and I'm gonna say it out loud
[20:14]You don't like it. Don't follow me
[20:16]And also like as a mother that's like my number one thing is like I would love to raise confident kids, right?
[20:22]That's what everybody wants
[20:24]Confident kids and then we become grown-ups and suddenly it's a bad thing. No, you know
[20:28]Right, it's okay to own that. That's what that's like maybe our moms did a good job or something
[20:33]Right, we go out there and we tell our kids every day speak your mind, you know, be empowered
[20:38]You know, don't let anybody boss you around but then as adults when we do it we are ashamed for it
[20:44]Particularly as women. I won't even say adults because I don't think that that's something that men struggle with as much as women do
[20:50]It's probably true. Okay. I'll buy that tell me about the process of writing the book. Did you work with anybody to write the book?
[20:56]Did you see it outline like what was the process like for you?
[20:59]So I sat down and I said oh my god
[21:02]This feels incredibly overwhelming and I was sitting with Erica from my team and we were in my backyard
[21:07]And I said can you just like have a glass of wine with me and sit on this patio and help me sort of navigate like
[21:13]What the heck this is gonna be about and I did because she knows me so well
[21:18]And so we started crafting an outline and that outline became a treatment that was probably I don't know
[21:25]six seven eight pages long and that was then delivered to my book agent who shopped it around and
[21:33]They loved it
[21:34]So I ended up working with a woman by the name of Maxime McCoy who's an incredible writer and we spent a lot of time together
[21:42]You know talking shot her really understanding my voice. I think that's kind of what separated me from so many different authors and
[21:52]You know is I have a very specific voice and I wanted to make sure that it came across just like that
[21:58]And so just endless hours six months of writing together and this is what we ended up producing and I read it for the first time
[22:06]Ever from start to finish not with like my editors cap on when I did the audible
[22:12]And I like I got chills. It was like a big moment for me. It was a trip and I felt really good about it
[22:17]So again, it's like another moment of gratitude this week where I'm just
[22:21]Kind of looking around and going wow to be able to be sitting across from you and talking about this is just a really cool thing
[22:26]And it doesn't like go unnoticed
[22:29]It's awesome. I feel like I should
[22:31]Station myself outside the audible like where everybody does their recordings because I feel like everybody comes out and reported
[22:39]Scaling like it was such a moment, right? It's so spent or so like emotionally drained or crying or this or that
[22:45]It's like seems to be such a
[22:47]Came home
[22:49]After that and my kids and my boyfriend were like what is going?
[22:51]And my best friend Joey was here and they were like what is going on with you
[22:54]And I was like I need to take a walk and I literally just I was in I was out of sorts
[22:58]And I took a walk and I ended up walking for an hour and a half in the dark in L. A
[23:04]And you know not really the safest time to be out and about right now
[23:08]And I sat down on a park bench and just cried for like 30 minutes
[23:13]Just and not because of anything other than like this was like a really vulnerable place for me
[23:18]And I just I couldn't believe that it's finally completed it
[23:23]And so it was it was big and I came home and everybody was asleep and they were like
[23:27]Yeah, yeah, right
[23:30]And I was I just needed to take a minute and just self reflect. Oh
[23:35]Such a nice story. I could just see you on the bench. Like
[23:39]It was so sad really like if someone had driven by it know me they'd be like what are you doing?
[23:43]I just have to it was it was something that I had to do
[23:47]I think they're I don't know anyone who hasn't had a moment where they had to sit and cry in some sort of public place and hide it
[23:54]Or you know bathroom at work or someplace where you're crying but I don't know still helps to sometimes hear it
[24:00]Yeah, so now that you survived writing your first book and you're getting it out in the world right now
[24:06]Is it something you'd want to do again? Like did you love it? Do you want to keep doing it or do you feel like you got out?
[24:10]What you needed to say? No, I feel like this is just the tip of the iceberg
[24:14]You know like I said this book for me was really it was business focused. It was definitely for women in business
[24:20]I have a much bigger story
[24:22]personally
[24:23]that I want to share and I think I just haven't quite
[24:28]gotten to the place where
[24:30]I can be a hundred percent truthful with myself first so that I can be truthful with my audience
[24:36]And I think that might be on the horizon. I think this was a really good start. Have your daughter started out. Oh, they're reading it right now
[24:43]I by the way, I was on Juliet yesterday. I'm like what chapter are you on and she's like two god, I'm almost
[24:49]not even there
[24:50]But you know they're adorable. They're so supportive. They threw me that party. They wrote me cards and and they are incredibly proud because they
[24:57]Know how much hard work it required and they know that I had to make sacrifices to do that
[25:01]But I like the they're seeing that I like that I had to sacrifice and my little girls are watching that
[25:07]They see me get up before the sun rises and do everything that I need to do and to get done in a day
[25:14]And they respect it and that makes me happy because that's pretty amazing that two teenage girls think that I'm cool
[25:22]You know like generally that's not like the common thread in teenagers and their moms and my girls just think that I'm awesome
[25:31]Or maybe I mean it could be because you just are
[25:34]Well, they're awesome. I feel like any day that my teenagers haven't turned on me. I'm like holding my breath
[25:39]Like I'm sure I'm on my way Juliet's like gonna be 15 Scarlett's 12 going on like 30
[25:47]So I know I'm gonna be up against something at some point
[25:51]But I'll take what I have right now and just hang on. Yeah one day at a time
[25:56]I heard by the way that you had coronavirus and you didn't even know it you just felt sick
[26:00]I didn't and this was really really early on like end of February early March
[26:06]And I had gone to New York to do a speaking engagement really Connecticut actually and I came back in about five six days later
[26:15]I had a cough and I just assumed it was from traveling and you know being exhausted doing speaking engagements and just wearing myself too thin
[26:24]Which has happened to me before I sleep for a day wake up and I feel fine
[26:28]I did not feel fine. I woke up the next day and I was just exhausted
[26:32]I kept getting out of bed and then going back to bed. So those were my symptoms. I called my doctor
[26:37]Obviously Corona would just starting and I said I get me should get one of these like Corona tests
[26:42]And they were like you can't get a Corona test. You don't have what are your symptoms? Do you have a fever? No
[26:47]I had zero fever. I had you know taste buds all that you didn't even know any of that at that time
[26:52]But they weren't willing to give you a test at that time unless you had 103 fever or above
[26:58]So I went and saw my doctor. He gave me a flu test. He looked at me and said I don't think that you have the virus and
[27:07]You know turns out about a month later. I took two antibody tests from two different labs
[27:12]In a row that showcased that I had all the antibodies and at that point we had a lot more information
[27:16]And I went you know what I had it and and so did my boyfriend
[27:20]Oh my gosh. Yeah. Well, that's one way to you know
[27:24]Get closer. I guess I'm safe for a minute
[27:26]But now everybody's saying that you know after three weeks you can even get it again
[27:30]So it's back to square one which is a little bit frustrating. Oh my gosh. I mean, there's just so much unknown
[27:36]I don't know. I'm gonna do back to you. I'm gonna go back to your one day at a time philosophy here
[27:42]Do you have any last parting advice to aspiring authors?
[27:45]I was talking to my friend Joey the other day about this who's writing a book and he's a little bit terrified to do it because of
[27:53]you know
[27:54]People coming at him for being honest talking about things that are uncomfortable and you know
[28:00]I say
[28:01]Put it in paper
[28:02]Put it down put it in black and white speak your truth
[28:06]You don't ever have to publish it once you finish it
[28:09]But at least if you get it out on paper you are speaking the truth to yourself
[28:14]Then you can make the decision afterwards
[28:17]You know about who you're willing to share that with but it is a journey
[28:20]It's a cathartic one and anyone that's thinking about doing it
[28:24]Know this. It's exhausting but incredibly rewarding
[28:28]Excellent. Well, thank you Tracy. Thanks for doing this Instagram live and coming on mom's time to read books and chatting with me about all
[28:35]Yeah parts of life
[28:36]Thank you for being such a great fan and for watching the show and being so tapped in
[28:41]This is a really great interview and you know more often than not people don't really know anything about the book
[28:47]When I get on the phone with them and so I appreciate you being so connected
[28:51]Oh, no problem. That was a great book
[28:53]I really enjoyed it and my whole family like this is our family show that we watch
[28:56]I'm like is it bad that I have my teenagers watching really dull listening in my seven-year-old girl. I
[29:02]Whatever we're all in I've got really I've got really cute young fans like I'd like you know eight-year-olds 10-year-olds
[29:08]Teenagers reaching out to me. It's it's the sweetest. I love it. Yeah. Well, we'll be watching and
[29:15]All right, congrats again on your book
[29:17]Bye
[29:20]Thanks again for listening to my podcast moms don't have time to read books
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[29:46]Thanks so much to Steve and Ryan at texture sound for the sound editing and
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[29:56]You could always email me at zivi at zivioans.com