Alicia Keys, MORE MYSELF
[0:08]Hi, I'm Zivi Owens, and you're listening to the award-winning podcast.
[0:12]Moms don't have time to read books.
[0:13]Please sign up for my newsletter at ziviowens.com for updates on podcast guests and lots of live events.
[0:21]Are you stuck at home? The desperate for a couple of kid-free hours?
[0:25]You can hire a virtual sitter now with our partner Urban Sitter.
[0:29]The website and app that makes it easy to find, book, and pay background check to sitters and nannies.
[0:34]As stay at home restrictions ease up, you'll be ready to find a trusted sitter for
[0:37]every scenario, whether it's a campless summer or unpredictable fall school schedule.
[0:43]So sign up at urban sitter.com, and you can get 25% off your first urban sitter membership
[0:49]with promo code SUMMER25, all capitals, SUMMER25, which is good now through May 31st.
[0:56]So again, go to urban sitter and use code SUMMER25 to find your next sitter,
[1:01]which is a gift that keeps on giving. Hi, everyone. I had the privilege
[1:05]of interviewing Alicia Keys recently, which was just so amazing and I just love talking to her.
[1:11]For those of you who might know who she is, which is impossible, but just in case,
[1:16]Alicia Keys is a modern-day renaissance woman of 15-time Grammy award-winning artist,
[1:21]songwriter, musician, producer, and accomplished actress, a New York Times best-selling author,
[1:26]a film, television, and Broadway producer, an entrepreneur, and a powerful force in the world of activism.
[1:32]Since the release of her monumental 2001 debut album, Songs in A Minor, Alicia Keys has
[1:38]sold over 65 million records and built an unparalleled repertoire of hits and accomplishments.
[1:44]Alicia's forthcoming 7th studio album, Alicia, is slated to be released worldwide later this year.
[1:50]The first single, Show Me Love, earned Alicia a record-extending 11th number one on the Billboard
[1:56]Adult R&B Songs Airplay Chart. Current single, Underdog, was the most added song at top 40
[2:01]radio upon its release and has already topped the U.S. iTunes chart. Alicia released her new book,
[2:07]more myself, a journey on March 31st, 2020. Through flat iron books, I am so excited to present
[2:14]my conversation with Alicia. Enjoy it. Hi, Alicia, how are you? Hi, I'm good. How are you doing?
[2:22]I'm good. I actually, I hope this is okay. Just for the first two seconds, I have my two
[2:26]daughters here who are huge fans of viewers and there's 6 and 12 and they just wanted to say hello.
[2:31]Hi. How are you doing today? She said how are you doing today? We're doing good.
[2:42]Oh, I'm glad. They spend half the day singing this girl is on fire. I love it in your own fire.
[2:50]I'm so happy to hear your voices, your names. Oh, thank you so much for doing this with me. It's
[2:55]really just amazing. I'm so excited. I'm so happy that we could get on the phone.
[3:01]Does everything sound like the reception and everything? I think so. Does mine sound okay to you?
[3:06]Yes, it sounds perfect. Awesome. Well, Alicia, thank you so much for coming on
[3:12]months. Don't have time to read books. This is such a huge treat and I really appreciate all of your
[3:16]time. I'm so happy to be on and let me tell you. I'm so excited about what you're doing and there's
[3:21]nothing more true than I don't have time to read books because I'm always complaining.
[3:26]I just want to read a book. I just want to do read a book. Seriously, it's the second I sit
[3:32]down. Someone's like jumping on top of me or like pulling the book away or something. It's always
[3:37]something. I know. It's really hard. And then you're like, that's okay. I'm going to read tonight
[3:41]and then you get in a bid and then you're asleep. Exactly what happened. Totally.
[3:46]I'm like, well, I'll just read a few. Well, let me just check my phone first. Yeah. Yeah, it's
[3:53]the same thing. Well, I'm glad we found the time. Me too. And your book, on the other hand,
[3:58]did not put me to sleep at all. More myself is fantastic. And I love to, by the way,
[4:04]being able to see on your Instagram how excited you were about it because that just made the excitement
[4:08]even more contagious when you're jumping up and down and doing your little, you know, celebrations.
[4:13]It's so awesome. I am. I'm so excited about it. I love it. And it's been, you know,
[4:20]such a, such a project and such, and it's so different from writing a song because it just,
[4:26]I think it, you know, it does compare to creating a whole body of work. So because even though
[4:31]writing a song does take a little bit of less time, creating the entire body of work or an album
[4:38]or, you know, a project or whatever does take a considerable amount of time. So the book,
[4:44]the book as well took such, it's such a lengthy process. And it's still kind of tedious. And you
[4:48]want it to reflect what you really want to say properly. And, and it's, cover such a long sectional
[4:55]time. So I'm really, I'm excited about it because I feel like I've been able to achieve what I
[4:59]wanted to achieve. And I love how people are responding to it. And how it's a conversation that we can
[5:03]all have together, especially right now in the world. And just because where we all are,
[5:08]and we're all trying to figure out who we are. And I guess that's going to kind of be a constant
[5:13]thing we're doing maybe for the rest of our lives. Totally, especially now. I love how in your
[5:19]book you talk a lot about creativity itself, kind of like what you're saying with the difference
[5:23]between a song and a book. I could just read this one quote. You said, creativity is inherently messy.
[5:28]It's chaotic and non-linear. It comes to life and fits and starts disjointed and seemingly random.
[5:34]So I was just hoping you could talk a little more about your creative process with whatever
[5:39]you're trying to achieve. Yes. Well, yes. I do feel, I do feel like that about creativity.
[5:44]I never have an exact way that it happens. In fact, it's, you know, constantly intimidating.
[5:49]You know, I think that it's always, you never, the fact that you don't know how it's going to
[5:55]actually come to fruition is also part of the magic. And that part of it that I think I'm most
[6:01]addicted to, I'm most creative, is that pride, you know? And even after doing it for many times
[6:09]or writing songs a long time or, you know, playing in front of many people or whatever it might be
[6:16]that you do, it still has this insecurity part of it that is, I think, the purest part of what
[6:24]creating something is. So it does, it doesn't have a straight line. And I think I like that
[6:29]the most about it to be honest. I feel like that might intimidate some other people that
[6:35]lack of control or linearity. I don't know. I mean, maybe not creative people.
[6:41]Yeah. No, I guess that's why I said it because I think that sometimes people maybe think that
[6:46]it might be easy for some people, you know, and sometimes maybe we stop ourselves from trying
[6:53]our version of creativity because we see other people and we might see them be successful at it
[6:59]or what we assume success is or what we attribute to success. And then we think for ourselves,
[7:04]well, I couldn't do that or I probably wouldn't be able to do it. And so then we don't start.
[7:08]I thought sharing that it's intimidating for me. Creativity is also intimidating for me was kind of
[7:14]maybe more encouraging just because for everybody, there's a business unknown about being creative
[7:20]or about putting together something that you've never done before that has never been done before
[7:26]or specifically that, you know, no one thought you could do or however it might unfold. And
[7:31]there's something really scary about that. But I think the scariness, once you get over it and push
[7:36]yourself past it and just give it a shot, you find something that's really special that comes out of
[7:42]it. No, absolutely. Can you tell me a little about your decision to write this book which you
[7:47]call a journey? What made you decide to write it and tell you that process that you were describing
[7:52]before it actually takes? Man, it took, I mean, it was at least two years. It was so interesting
[7:58]because it's not because obviously I haven't written a thousand books. And I don't know,
[8:03]again, I would I would wonder if it's for me as a songwriter, I've written so many songs.
[8:08]But still, I find myself that I at the beginning of writing a song. I'm like,
[8:12]how do I do this again? What do I do? How do you actually do this? I find that I'm always asking
[8:19]myself that question. So perhaps even if I wrote a thousand books, I'd still be asking myself
[8:23]that question and that wrote as well. But because it's such a new process for me,
[8:28]it was so interesting and part of it was part of it was terrifying and definitely daunting
[8:35]because I was like, this is crazy. How do you go back and think of all these pieces? But the
[8:41]inspiration really came probably around my album called Here. I really started to ask myself a lot
[8:47]of questions. It was the beginning of my own search for my own identity and who I am and who I
[8:54]want to be kind of who you become in the world because you think you're supposed to be that.
[8:58]And then who you actually are or who you actually want to be. And I was starting to really ask
[9:03]myself those questions because I started to realize that I maybe was who I thought people wanted me
[9:11]to be. And I didn't realize that that had taken me over so much. So I started to kind of dissect
[9:18]the ways that that was happening in different moments in my life where revealing that I was quite
[9:25]oppressed. I would use the word from the standards of what it is to be a woman, what it is to be
[9:31]a successful woman, what it is to be quote unquote beautiful, what it is to be beloved or whatever it
[9:37]is. And and I started to find myself kind of changing myself or being extra concerned when I
[9:43]picked up my kids from school, you know, do I look nice enough to go out with and all these things
[9:49]that were really I truly didn't understand how convoluted that was, how that was affecting me.
[9:56]And I didn't even realize that I was like that person. I never even thought I was that
[10:00]and I thought I was super independent
[10:01]and completely about the feminist and really strong.
[10:05]And I realized, wow, there's so much of me
[10:08]that I'm discovering.
[10:09]And so that discovery started to uncover part
[10:13]that I wanted to share.
[10:15]And I wanted to think more about and really challenge
[10:19]the way that we're told to be who we think we're supposed to be
[10:23]because we see it in front of us since the day we're born.
[10:26]And we don't really get a chance to meet ourselves.
[10:28]And that was what I was starting to do.
[10:30]And I wanted to share my personal journey
[10:33]with discovering more of myself.
[10:35]It's amazing.
[10:36]I love how early in the book you talk about,
[10:39]the photo shoot you went on and how you were basically
[10:44]against not against your well, but just slightly manipulated
[10:47]in a way that set the course for being careful not
[10:50]to let that happen again forever
[10:52]and how that became a symbol for you of how you needed
[10:55]to use your voice and become who you are and all of that.
[10:57]Can you just talk a little more about that moment?
[11:00]Definitely.
[11:01]It was a very, very first time that I had been asked
[11:06]to do a pretty important photo shoot
[11:07]with a really important photographer.
[11:09]And it was a very beginning of everything.
[11:12]And here you are, you're a young, up-and-coming artist.
[11:18]And you really just want people to hear your stuff
[11:21]and structure, know it, and be excited about it.
[11:25]And it seems like it'll probably never happen
[11:27]because that's usually really in all novels.
[11:31]And so when I found myself in this space
[11:35]with this photographer and this magazine,
[11:37]it was a very first time I had done,
[11:39]I hadn't done a ton of photo shoots either.
[11:41]And photos shoot in themselves are just awkward.
[11:44]But what do you do?
[11:45]Like, where do you stand?
[11:47]How are you supposed to look?
[11:49]What do you supposed to smile, do not smile?
[11:52]What's the face feel like?
[11:53]Is it what tilt's in?
[11:54]You don't know what to do.
[11:55]You just, you're standing in a blank room with a person.
[11:58]It'll be different if you had a bed with a photo
[12:00]on our chair to say,
[12:01]well, you could actually do something that's just normal.
[12:04]But it's completely normal.
[12:06]It feels totally weird.
[12:08]And so it was my first time on top of all of that.
[12:13]And so you also discovered that people often are looking
[12:17]for an angle, they're looking for something to sell.
[12:19]They're looking for something that's
[12:20]race-theated, looking for something that's
[12:23]going to challenge or spark interest.
[12:26]And I didn't know any of that.
[12:27]I wasn't thinking of any of that.
[12:29]And so the guy kind of starts to suggest that,
[12:32]yeah, you know, pull my pants down a little more like this,
[12:34]or cover my shoulder a little bit like this.
[12:37]So I pull my shirt down a little bit more like this.
[12:39]And because I didn't know what the hell I was doing anyway,
[12:43]I was kind of like, OK, I guess, would that look nice?
[12:48]Because you're searching in a lot of ways for approval,
[12:52]which happens, I think, in our lives in many ways.
[12:55]For many, it doesn't matter if you're new or not,
[12:57]or it's just starting something or not.
[12:59]We're all kind of looking for approval in some way.
[13:02]And so I thought they knew better than me.
[13:04]And I tried it and I did it.
[13:06]And I felt uncomfortable the whole time,
[13:08]but I kind of felt uncomfortable anyway.
[13:10]So I just didn't.
[13:11]I couldn't tell the difference between my discomfort
[13:13]of just feeling awkward standing in a blank room,
[13:16]or pulling my shirt down too far.
[13:18]And so that all got confused and convoluted and stressful
[13:22]or three or four weeks later when I saw the picture.
[13:24]I mean, it was, I would never say that I looked away
[13:28]that I'd never wanted to look.
[13:29]My pants would too far down.
[13:31]My hand would cover my boobs.
[13:34]I just completely looked like I was trying so hard.
[13:37]And I didn't want to be that person.
[13:39]I didn't even know how I got there.
[13:42]And but I realized now that it taught me a lot
[13:46]about speaking up and it taught me a lot about really
[13:49]understanding your own gut.
[13:51]And if you're good at saying that you feel uncomfortable
[13:54]or you don't feel right, you gotta stop.
[13:56]What's making me not feel right?
[13:57]I don't like this.
[13:58]That makes me uncomfortable.
[13:59]And you gotta speak up because if you don't,
[14:02]you're gonna have a picture on your hands
[14:04]that's pretty embarrassing or God knows what else.
[14:07]So of course, I didn't know how to do that then
[14:11]and part of it is also the lessons that you learn as you go.
[14:14]And you need those lessons so you can't beat yourself up
[14:16]about it, which I did.
[14:18]But you know, but it's such a big enough to know
[14:22]that I didn't want that to happen again.
[14:25]And I really, I didn't want to feel that way.
[14:27]I didn't want to feel compromised or feel uncomfortable
[14:30]with taking advantage of.
[14:31]And so it changed a lot for me
[14:33]because then going forward, I had different perspectives.
[14:36]I love how in the book it's not just about you,
[14:39]but it's a lot about motherhood in general.
[14:41]It's about your relationship with your mother
[14:43]and your grandmother.
[14:44]It's a relationship with you becoming a mother.
[14:48]I just wanted to hear a little more about that aspect
[14:51]and how becoming a mother yourself has affected your creativity
[14:55]and even your perception of your own mother's mothering
[14:58]because I feel like whenever we all have kids,
[15:00]all of a sudden you look back and you're like,
[15:02]oh, get it.
[15:03]Like that's how my mom was.
[15:04]So how does that affect you?
[15:06]Yeah, I mean, motherhood in general
[15:08]has affected me in a really, I feel like an awesome way.
[15:11]I think I definitely met a part of myself
[15:15]that I didn't know before.
[15:17]I didn't know that I could be so tender.
[15:20]I didn't know that I could feel so deeply.
[15:22]And I surely felt deeply prior to it.
[15:25]I definitely, I felt deeply in the many songs
[15:29]that I wrote before I was a mother
[15:30]or felt deeply in different experiences
[15:32]I had in the world or seeing the world and all this chaos.
[15:36]And I felt that deeply but nothing
[15:38]was as potent and as uncontrollable.
[15:43]We emotional as when I became a mother.
[15:46]So I met a part of myself that I definitely didn't know existed.
[15:50]I also met a part of myself that was much stronger.
[15:53]I didn't know how to be a strong for myself prior
[15:58]to becoming a mother.
[15:59]I was very, very much about always compromising.
[16:02]I found myself to be a super people pleaser
[16:05]which to this day I bite myself against being
[16:10]in a detrimental way.
[16:12]There's nothing wrong with being good to people.
[16:13]There's nothing wrong with pleasing people.
[16:15]But if you're doing it to the self-determined
[16:18]to the detriment of yourself, then it
[16:20]does become a problem.
[16:21]And I was doing that.
[16:22]I was, I never considered my own well-being.
[16:26]And I oftentimes just did what I thought
[16:28]was make would make other people happy.
[16:32]And I met a new side of myself with that
[16:34]because once I had a baby, I really realized like the boundaries
[16:39]that I needed to set, not even for me, but for the baby.
[16:43]And so by default, I started to take better care of myself.
[16:47]And that started to teach me something
[16:49]and show me something and open my eyes with things.
[16:51]I remember I was a super workaholic.
[16:54]I'd probably picked that up for my mother.
[16:55]She's always been a very hard worker, always worked many hours
[16:59]and kind of could live off of very little sleep.
[17:02]And I became that person.
[17:04]I was that person.
[17:05]But then when I had a baby, Instagram has
[17:07]important anymore as being actually
[17:09]present in the young tiny beings life
[17:13]and being able to be home and do those special things as a mom.
[17:18]So it definitely started to give me a lot more balance.
[17:21]It started to give me a lot more perspective.
[17:23]And I started to meet myself in a brand new place.
[17:25]So that was cool.
[17:26]And then I definitely respected my mother
[17:30]on a whole other level because my mother raised me
[17:33]a single mother.
[17:35]She would just hurt.
[17:37]And that is a mind-blowing thing.
[17:40]And she worked all the time.
[17:44]She still figured out how to get me in the worst trouble ever.
[17:49]I don't know how she did it.
[17:50]I'm like, you're not even here.
[17:51]I don't know how much trouble.
[17:52]And so she ended up having to be everything.
[17:57]And somehow she did it.
[17:59]And she definitely had to be tough with males
[18:01]for a girl growing up in Hell's Kitchen in Harlem
[18:04]in New York City.
[18:05]But she did it.
[18:06]And so much of that toughness and that grit
[18:09]and that kind of like becoming sense that I have
[18:13]came from her really not allowing me to have any room
[18:17]for any foolishness.
[18:18]She would grill me so hard about whatever
[18:20]I was telling her that if I didn't have my fact straight
[18:23]and all my organize, I was not making it out a lot.
[18:28]And I think that gave me a lot.
[18:30]Even as I became a businesswoman,
[18:32]and as I became a person who had to control my own life
[18:36]and my own destiny, there was a certain amount of just strength
[18:40]that came from her.
[18:41]And now as a mom, my son, I was telling my friend,
[18:45]but we're all doing this homeschooling thing.
[18:47]And I was telling my friend, my son, he says, I'm mean.
[18:51]And I'm like, I'm not mean.
[18:54]I just want you to do your best.
[18:56]I want you to do your best.
[18:57]I don't want you to just do sort of kind of enough
[19:00]with the time you were given.
[19:02]And now that the time is over, you run away,
[19:04]like do complete it and make it great and be proud of it.
[19:08]You're mean, mom.
[19:09]So I'm getting a lot of, I'm getting a lot of your meaning.
[19:14]My five-year-old son, we were doing this letter.
[19:17]Like, what's your big idea?
[19:18]What do you really want to change?
[19:19]And he's like, I need to get my mom to stop
[19:21]bossing me around so much.
[19:22]And I was like, I just asked you to come to lunch.
[19:26]And he's like, no, I need you know.
[19:28]I'm like, really, all I'm trying to do is help you.
[19:30]I'm trying to make you a better person.
[19:32]I'm trying to feed you and get you on your silly Zoom call
[19:35]so you can learn about like the weather system.
[19:37]I don't know.
[19:38]I'm just, I'm like, I've had it up to here.
[19:41]So I know.
[19:41]My son popped too.
[19:43]And he was so mad at me yesterday
[19:45]because when I would see, you know, if he was in the living room,
[19:48]I'd be like, hey, Jen.
[19:49]And then he was coming out of his bedroom
[19:51]and I was walking up the stairs.
[19:52]And he was like, oh, I was like, hey, Jen, his mom.
[19:55]Are you going to say hi to me every time you see me?
[19:57]I was like, oh, yeah.
[20:00]I can't say hi, do you want to say no mom?
[20:04]I really don't want you to say hi to me every time you see me.
[20:07]So I did it, man.
[20:10]I'm like, what the hell?
[20:11]Like, damn.
[20:14]Yeah.
[20:14]I love how five-year-old boys are running our families at this
[20:18]way.
[20:19]I'm like, you knew I felt this way.
[20:22]But they're so cute.
[20:23]Yeah, it's so much fun.
[20:24]It's so cute.
[20:24]It's so cute.
[20:25]It is.
[20:25]And the hardies.
[20:27]Yes.
[20:28]So cute.
[20:29]So how do you?
[20:30]I mean, everybody always asks, you know, how does everybody
[20:33]keep it all together when there's so many different things?
[20:35]But even in your book, you talk about how an artist's life
[20:38]is teeter totter, as you call it, and how you're holding
[20:41]your family tight as you navigate all the ups and downs
[20:45]and just the craziness of life and your life,
[20:48]I would think in particular, things such a public person
[20:50]and accomplishing so many things from all these albums
[20:54]in the book and all the rest.
[20:55]Like, how do you stay sane?
[20:56]How do you do it?
[20:58]Oh, man, how do I stay sane?
[21:01]How do we all stay sane is a really, really good question?
[21:05]I mean, there's a couple of different ways
[21:08]that I feel I stay sane.
[21:10]And suddenly now, I feel like I have to relearn
[21:14]that how to stay sane in a whole new way.
[21:17]Because I don't know.
[21:19]So while I wasn't doing very good with that,
[21:21]I wasn't really sure how to balance it all in the one
[21:26]space that we're all staying and you know.
[21:28]But I really like to, I'm a big, I love to organize things.
[21:33]I tend to like things very organized.
[21:35]I like things very tied up in a bowl, which I've also
[21:39]learned how to get a little loose around
[21:42]because sometimes it's not going to be a bowl
[21:44]and you just need to let the bowl go.
[21:47]And it's OK if the pieces are freed all over the floor,
[21:51]and it's all right, if the wrapping is like you didn't
[21:54]put it away and it's OK, it's all right.
[21:56]So I'm learning that.
[21:58]And I think that really helps me to stay sane.
[22:01]I like the organizing part when I say organize.
[22:04]I like to create space or time.
[22:08]I like to calendar things, even just
[22:11]making sure that things are, they have their space.
[22:14]And that also means me having my own space.
[22:17]So even in this circumstance, a lot of the time,
[22:21]one of my sons is actually having to get up really early
[22:24]to start his pool thing.
[22:26]And so I have about an hour and a half,
[22:29]which means when he starts and to when my other son starts,
[22:33]and I will take that hour and a half,
[22:35]and I will do a meditation, I'll even go to work out.
[22:38]And it's early, it's like 6 p.m. or from 6 to 7,
[22:42]or 6 30 to 7 30.
[22:45]And sometimes I just don't want to do it at all, which is fine.
[22:47]That goes back to the bowl and the paper
[22:49]being on the floor, that's fine.
[22:51]Just honor that when you need it.
[22:53]But when I do do it, I find that I feel like I've
[22:55]given myself my own time, I've given myself
[22:58]trying to just kind of think and be quiet
[23:01]before it gets all noisy and loud.
[23:03]And that really helps me stay sane a lot.
[23:05]I found that I need any quiet.
[23:07]Whereas my husband, like the first thing he does
[23:09]when he wakes up, he put in all music.
[23:10]Everything is really loud when he wakes up.
[23:13]Me, I need quiet.
[23:15]And so I figured that out.
[23:16]And so I give myself that.
[23:18]And that helps me.
[23:18]And just that little thing, that one hour,
[23:21]makes a difference.
[23:22]And then I feel more sane.
[23:24]So things like that help me stay sane
[23:26]and help me just kind of make my way through at all.
[23:31]I'm definitely getting more comfortable
[23:32]with being uncomfortable.
[23:34]That's my latest realization, even with the current state
[23:37]of everything.
[23:38]It's not comfortable.
[23:39]We don't exactly know what's going on.
[23:42]It feels like we're confused.
[23:44]You've got to probably like, you know,
[23:46]if you feel comfortable, you feel worried, all these things.
[23:49]And I found that I've been wanting to just be comfortable
[23:53]being uncomfortable and just fit in that.
[23:55]And that's OK too.
[23:57]So that's some of the pieces that I can help me stay sane.
[24:00]How about you?
[24:02]I mean, first of all, my husband and I are the same way.
[24:04]I like know when he wakes up because all of a sudden,
[24:06]like the house is blasting with music.
[24:07]And I was like, OK, he's up somewhere.
[24:09]Because now he's turned on the whole music system.
[24:12]Here is the other day.
[24:13]My five year old guy woke me up at 4.15 just
[24:17]to let me know he had to go to the bathroom, which is great.
[24:19]And then, of course, I couldn't fall back asleep.
[24:21]And I was like, you know what?
[24:22]I'm just going to get up so I can sit in my house
[24:24]and have it be quiet.
[24:25]I don't care that it's four in the morning.
[24:27]I just want that moment to sit in my kitchen
[24:29]and not have anybody bother me.
[24:30]And so I did.
[24:31]And it was great.
[24:32]Yeah.
[24:33]What about that?
[24:34]So I understand what you're saying.
[24:37]But yeah, I don't know.
[24:38]I don't know if I do stay sane these days.
[24:40]But yes.
[24:41]And by the way, I think what you said with letting the bow
[24:43]go, because I am a perfectionist also.
[24:45]And I just like everything to be perfect.
[24:47]And that is like such a great mantra.
[24:49]I feel like you should make a whole t-shirt line.
[24:50]Let the bow go, because that just is so, that's so helpful.
[24:56]Oh, I'll spill you with you on that.
[24:58]The t-shirt coming, that's a little bro.
[25:01]OK, great, perfect.
[25:04]So now that you've written this book,
[25:07]you have a new album coming out.
[25:08]I mean, this is so exciting.
[25:10]What are you most excited about next, assuming we ever
[25:13]get out of our homes?
[25:14]Like, what is it when you look forward?
[25:17]What are you just like, oh, I can't wait for this,
[25:19]or this is getting me through this time?
[25:21]Well, I'm really looking forward to a lot
[25:24]some good hugs.
[25:26]So let's start there for two seconds.
[25:28]Like, you know, there's a lot of arms
[25:30]that I haven't been able to hug,
[25:32]and a lot of people I haven't been able to hold.
[25:34]And I'm really looking forward to just like holding them
[25:38]and hugging them.
[25:39]And I was just thinking about that the other day.
[25:42]Like, just that simple act is going to feel really good.
[25:46]So I'm looking forward to that for sure.
[25:49]I'm looking forward to, of course, I'm
[25:51]looking forward to the music that I created coming out
[25:55]into the world, the album that called Alicia.
[25:58]And I actually decided to hold it during this time
[26:01]because we're all figuring out where we are
[26:04]and who we are and what's important and what's going on.
[26:07]And of course, music plays such an amazing part
[26:09]of getting this through.
[26:10]So it would be on time any time, but it just feels.
[26:13]So I was going to put it out kind of in this time frame.
[26:17]And I decided to wait a little bit.
[26:19]So I definitely looking forward to people
[26:21]hearing that music and continuing to hear more of what
[26:25]I created with that.
[26:26]I must be looking forward to maybe rethinking
[26:29]the over-over busyness, the way that somehow we
[26:36]feel like if we could just be busy, we're somehow achieving
[26:41]something.
[26:42]And I want to continue to think about that.
[26:44]And how do I want to relate to that in the times
[26:48]when things will be a little bit more?
[26:50]At least hopefully not back to normal
[26:52]because I hope that we are able to move forward and get better.
[26:56]So I feel like we don't want to go back.
[26:58]We want to go forward.
[26:59]But obviously we'll be able to move around more
[27:02]and travel more and pick up business,
[27:04]the usual a little bit more.
[27:05]And I'm hoping I want to think about how I want to relate
[27:08]to that busyness.
[27:09]I feel I'm thinking about.
[27:11]I feel I'm thinking about.
[27:11]But some of the things I'm looking forward to
[27:14]and that I'm thinking about and wanting to do.
[27:17]So there's a lot to look forward to.
[27:18]But I'm looking forward to kind of rethinking certain things
[27:22]and making sure to not forget.
[27:24]That's great.
[27:25]I hear you on the hugs.
[27:27]I'm looking forward to that too.
[27:29]I don't want to take too much of your time,
[27:31]but I was just wondering as the sort of consummate songwriter
[27:35]and now author of more myself,
[27:37]what advice would you have to other artists
[27:40]who are trying to create works in whatever format,
[27:44]be it song or film or book?
[27:46]What advice would you have?
[27:47]Man, I think, you know,
[27:49]it kind of was how we started.
[27:51]And my advice would be to be unafraid of the insecurity.
[27:59]And to be, okay, maybe you can't be unafraid of it
[28:03]because it's hard and the insecurity is real.
[28:06]And the doubt and all these things that come into our heads
[28:11]that make us try to feel like we are unable to achieve something.
[28:17]But acknowledge that everybody feels that
[28:20]and everybody goes through that.
[28:21]And no one really knows what they're doing.
[28:24]Everybody is just kind of trying to figure it out.
[28:27]And so I would say to have the will to try.
[28:33]To try your idea, to try to put it out there,
[28:36]to put it into words,
[28:37]or put it into song, to put it into action.
[28:40]And know that what you're gonna learn from it
[28:44]what's gonna come back from it
[28:46]is going to surprise you in a most amazing way.
[28:49]And it's gonna get you to the next place
[28:52]that you're meant to go.
[28:53]And that's what I would share.
[28:55]I love that.
[28:56]Thank you so much.
[28:57]Thank you for sharing all this time with me
[28:59]and all my listeners and your amazing book
[29:02]and your amazing songs,
[29:03]even the Kobe Bryant,
[29:06]I mean, that the Grammys were just like,
[29:09]oh my gosh, you've just been like a real leader in authenticity
[29:12]and I just have so much respect for you.
[29:15]So thank you so much.
[29:16]Oh, I love that.
[29:17]I love those words so much.
[29:19]Thank you, as well.
[29:20]Thank you for shining and being so yourself
[29:24]and allowing us to remember to be ourselves
[29:26]and that imperfection is perfect.
[29:29]And I'm so glad that we could connect
[29:32]and I'm so blessed to be a part of your show.
[29:36]So thank you for having me.
[29:37]Oh my gosh, my pleasure.
[29:38]Thank you so much.
[29:39]Yay!
[29:41]Bye!
[29:42]Yay!
[29:43]Thank you so much.
[29:45]All right, thank you.
[29:46]Thank you.
[29:47]Thank you.
[29:49]And we'll talk soon.
[29:50]You too.
[29:51]Okay, that sounds great.
[29:52]Bye bye.
[29:53]Bye bye.
[29:54]You've been listening to Moms and have time to read books
[29:56]with Zibi Owens.
[29:57]Please make sure to sign up for my newsletter
[29:59]at Zibi.
[30:00]Owens.com to get more updates about episodes like these
[30:03]and also lots of live events.
[30:05]Thanks again to Urban Citter for partnering with us today
[30:08]and offering a 25% discount on Urban Citter memberships
[30:12]with promo code summer25.
[30:14]So anybody who needs a sitter or a nanny
[30:17]or anybody to help you,
[30:18]if you can actually get out of your house,
[30:20]go to Urban Citter.
[30:22]This will be your go-to and life-sigma.
[30:24]You can follow me on Instagram at moms don't have time
[30:27]to read books.
[30:28]Thanks so much to Steve and Ryan at Textures Sound
[30:31]for the Sound Editing.
[30:32]And thank you to Morning Moon Productions
[30:34]for providing this fantastic intro and out trim music.
[30:37]Thanks for listening.
[30:37]You could always email me at zivy at zivyowens.com.