Amber Tamblyn, ERA OF IGNITION
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[0:39]contests, literary agents, and more. Hi, I'm here today with Amber Tamlin,
[0:44]who is an author, actress, and director. She has been nominated for an Emmy, a Golden Globe,
[0:48]and an independent spirit award for her work in film and TV. She co-wrote and directed the
[0:53]critically acclaimed feature film, Paint It Black. She's the author of three books of poetry,
[0:58]including the bestseller, Dark Sparkler, and the novel Any Man. Her latest book is era of
[1:03]Ignition, coming of age in a time of rage and revolution. She's a contributing writer for the
[1:07]New York Times, a poet in residence at Amy Poehler's Smart Girls, and a founding member of
[1:12]Time's Up. She currently lives in New York with her husband, actor David Cross.
[1:16]Welcome, Amber. Thanks for coming on Mom's and her time to read books.
[1:19]Thank you for having me. I'm so excited to talk about your latest book,
[1:22]era of Ignition, and coming of age in a time of rage and revolution, which has like the best
[1:27]cover ever. Thank you. It's so cool. It's like bright pink and red and black and it's like how
[1:32]can you not want to read it? Not that I should judge by the cover. No, it's good. I feel like it's
[1:36]a very straightforward, direct cover. Simple. Easy. Totally. So, tell listeners what is
[1:43]era of Ignition about? And like what made you write it right now? So, era of Ignition really
[1:49]looks at this sort of wild, chaotic world that we're living in right now, and especially in the
[1:54]United States, post me to end times up in the last two years, sort of since that has happened,
[2:01]but also since Donald Trump has been elected in this sense of we're not able to control
[2:06]what is happening and there seems to be a lot of anger and a lot of protests and a lot of
[2:13]questioning about supremacy and identity and all of the things that should matter to us as
[2:19]the country and as a culture, things like white feminism, for instance, which is a very triggering
[2:25]word for a lot of white women. Whereas in this book, I really offer that it's important to lean
[2:30]into that and to not be afraid to be uncomfortable. So, my argument for the book is really looking
[2:34]at how we can harness our own fears and the chaos of this moment into something really productive
[2:40]and profound and powerful and to not shy away from the fact that especially women, we are in
[2:46]the center of a revolution right now and to call it anything less really undermines us and what we're
[2:52]all trying to do collectively to have more representation and equality in the world we want to live in.
[2:58]The way the passion, it was like to just explain the book that tone is exactly like how I felt
[3:03]reading it. I was like, she is so into this. Like, you could, it like, leaps off the page,
[3:08]like your, you just feel so strongly about all of it and it's so great. I mean, because then
[3:13]it engages the reader so much, right? Because you just want to like hop on the bandwagon if you're
[3:16]not already on it. Exactly. I also, I thought it was so interesting. You have so much of your
[3:20]own life in this book. This isn't just some sort of manifesto or political treatise or whatever.
[3:25]This is like your story from postpartum having this weird thing happen with your hands,
[3:30]which I felt so bad about to, you know, how you ended up as sort of like the forest scum
[3:34]of the Times Out movement, how you're like in the midst of all every room. You're like in every room
[3:39]and responding to every article. So if we could talk about some of that stuff, yeah.
[3:44]I, you know, it's interesting. So I've, I've been acting. I'm 35 now. I've got him. I'm 35.
[3:49]Yes, I'll be 35. I'll be 36 this year. I actually did a bunch of interviews for this book
[3:54]when it initially came out and my publicist was like, no, Amber, you're actually a year older
[3:58]than what you've been saying. I'm like, wow, my child, I'm going to blame it on my child. My child
[4:02]made me lose an entire year of my life. That's how I feel. I feel like I'm 12 years younger
[4:06]because my oldest kids are 12 and I'm like, wait, what? I'm in my foot. No, no, no. They're camping.
[4:12]I can't think because I've only been paying attention to their birthdays, not my birthdays.
[4:15]Yeah, exactly. So you're 35 or 36. Give or take? 35 or six, but I've been acting since I was,
[4:21]you know, 11 years old. I did many years on a soap opera when I was a kid on general hospital and
[4:26]was in sisterhood of the traveling pants and did a lot of film and television. So I've had a
[4:30]lot of experience in this industry and in Hollywood. And I think growing up, you know, in that
[4:36]industry, I have had to deal with and see a lot of sexism and misogyny and an extreme lack of
[4:42]representation, both behind the camera and sometimes even in front of it and certainly with the
[4:49]powers that be who are making decisions within Hollywood. And I think what happened in 2016, 2017,
[4:56]with, you know, that moment's me too movement sort of breaking the worldwide open was that
[5:01]a lot of women were feeling very impacted, not just by, I think most people would say the
[5:08]election of Donald Trump might have impacted them and made them feel like they needed to do
[5:12]something. But I would also argue that I think Hillary Clinton losing in the face of what most would
[5:19]say is the village idiot was something that propelled women too. Because at some point, all women
[5:24]have been that person. They have been the Hillary Clinton in the room who was yes, flawed,
[5:30]incorrect at times, not perfect, but really fucking good at what she does for living. Sorry,
[5:35]can I cuss? Go for it. Really fucking good at what she does. You know, excellent at her job,
[5:42]totally prepared in many ways and still lose to somebody who was not qualified. So to me,
[5:49]a lot of what we saw in 2016 and 17 was a reaction towards that loss. For me, I certainly know
[5:56]that that was had very much to do with my own experience. And I think around that time, I was just
[6:01]tired of being silent about a lot of the things I had seen in my business. And certainly the way
[6:06]I had been treated and, you know, the works that I had done, either films I produced or directed
[6:12]or just anything that I had done being undervalued and underappreciated and finding that I only
[6:18]was ever really allowed to exist in one room. And that room was me as the actress in which I was
[6:25]interpreting other people's lines, basically being the object for other people's art. And it
[6:31]it wasn't until that moment in which I think I and many, many other women in that powerful
[6:37]zeitgeist said enough and sort of propelled themselves with a lot of fear and with a lot of not
[6:43]knowing what that was going to mean or what the repercussions would be or how everything was going
[6:48]to land. It felt like we couldn't control not speaking up, not doing something about it.
[6:54]So this book really looks at a lot of that. And, you know, like I said, the inception of times
[6:59]up, but also sort of my journey throughout all of that, pressed against the lens of the larger
[7:05]cultural shift that we've all been facing. And it's funny, not funny. That's the wrong word. But
[7:10]it was interesting how the movement today made you sort of relook at some of the abuse that has
[7:16]happened in your own past in this horrible relationship you had for many years and how actually
[7:21]now that we're just coming up with the words to sort of name some of this stuff, you could say,
[7:24]like, okay, I actually had like a sexually abused relationship. And now I can focus and deal with it
[7:29]in this way. And it's sort of impact, I don't know, just must feel, how does it feel to be able to
[7:34]go back and sort of put it in a bucket or know how to process it or talk to people who have had
[7:40]the same thing. You know what I mean? Yeah, I think that's where the anger comes from. And not just
[7:45]for me, but for pretty much every woman that I know, no matter what that is, as far as realizing that
[7:51]for decades, for our lifetimes, for our mother's lifetimes, for our grandmother's lifetimes,
[7:58]all the way back, we have not had the honor or grace or allowance to be able to name the things
[8:05]that have been done to us. And if we have, if we speak up, if we use our voice, we're ridiculed,
[8:12]our stories are, the narratives are changed about our stories. We're told it's not true.
[8:17]All of those things are have been consequences which have aimed to force us back into a space of
[8:23]silence in a certain way. And I know, you know, I know for me that that was, that there was a,
[8:29]that there was a lot of that that was going on from a very early age in many different ways.
[8:34]And it was so important for me to speak about things like abusive relationships and to realize
[8:42]as I had not before that some of the things that had happened to me were actually
[8:47]could be defined as, you know, sexual assault. And it's, it is very sad that you can be a woman
[8:54]of any age and have something happen to you, whether it's rape or whether it's sexual harassment or
[9:00]anything in between. And you are taught, you are conditioned to name it as something else that is
[9:08]not as harmful as it actually was. And women have had to walk around existing like that forever.
[9:14]And nothing is fixed. Nothing has been completely righted with the Me Too movement, obviously.
[9:19]There's still like a long way to go. But I know for me it was very powerful to have to come to terms
[9:26]and come to grips with my own language. And the language that I use for what my experiences are
[9:33]and to understand that it's important to name the thing, to name the offense, as it is,
[9:40]even if that puts you at jeopardy in a certain way or is uncomfortable or complicated for
[9:47]the person that's done it, obviously don't do it if it affects your livelihood. But I think it's
[9:52]important for you for yourself to know the ownership of that language. And you talked about in the
[9:57]book, how you, I mean, in which I read in the New York Times, this is the...
[10:00]He came out publicly and said like, you know,
[10:02]this is it for me.
[10:03]Like I talked about all your views about James Woods
[10:06]and his actions and that's a big deal to come,
[10:08]I mean, putting it all out there in the New York Times.
[10:11]Like you have to like stand by and be so really brave
[10:14]in a way.
[10:15]I mean, you have to just say like,
[10:16]I don't know, it takes guts to get me some presents.
[10:20]I think what was, you know, again,
[10:21]and this has to do with that propulsion, right?
[10:23]Which is the ignition that I talk about in the book,
[10:26]this thing that is ignited in you,
[10:28]which, you know, fire we can't really control
[10:31]when something is burning.
[10:32]And this is why you're opening scene,
[10:34]was you lighting a candle?
[10:35]Like the whole thing.
[10:36]You're doing that on your desk.
[10:37]And then kind of blowing it out,
[10:38]was like my life was like a candle
[10:41]that was like super dwindled.
[10:43]That was a great image better.
[10:44]Yeah, and it was real.
[10:46]I didn't even have to use it for the effect of that book.
[10:48]It was just a true moment that happened.
[10:50]But there is this thing that has been propelling us
[10:53]that we sometimes can't even control, right?
[10:55]It's the same thing, you know,
[10:58]why did Rose McGowan feel propelled?
[11:01]Why was it a matter of her survival
[11:03]to speak out against Harvey Weinstein,
[11:05]to initially be one of those women, any of them,
[11:08]any of the women that spoke out in the New York Times.
[11:10]Why?
[11:11]What was the reason now?
[11:13]And that is the thing that I hope this book puts a finger on,
[11:16]the moment and where the rage comes from,
[11:18]but not just what the rage is,
[11:21]but what we are doing with it,
[11:22]how we are changing the world with it.
[11:24]And for me in that moment,
[11:26]there was not a choice to write the piece in the New York Times.
[11:29]It was a further listener, it was an op-ed called,
[11:32]I'm done with not being believed.
[11:33]I had it right here, sorry.
[11:34]It's called, I'm done with not being believed
[11:36]from 2017.
[11:38]About when she was 21 and went to talk to her shows producer
[11:41]about problematic behavior,
[11:42]and ended up taking a stand against James Woods.
[11:44]I read it.
[11:45]Yes, there we go.
[11:46]Yes, and the James Woods thing was like a separate experience
[11:50]when I was younger of him trying to pick me up at a diner
[11:52]in Los Angeles to which he said he,
[11:54]there was no way he did that and called me a liar,
[11:56]which that was really the moment of being called a liar
[12:00]that felt like so personal, but so normal,
[12:03]felt so normal to be called a liar for telling that story
[12:07]as if that's a joy for me to go out on a limb
[12:10]and put my entire career and reputation on the line
[12:14]to make up some random story about this guy
[12:17]that I could care less about.
[12:18]So I felt propelled in that moment to speak a truth,
[12:22]and then Rose felt propelled in that moment to speak a truth.
[12:25]And there were all of these women in different industries
[12:29]who were feeling propelled, who were feeling that
[12:32]being sort of ignited.
[12:34]And to me, the most important thing is that everybody
[12:37]started to speak together and started to know
[12:41]that it was okay, that there was gonna be repercussions,
[12:43]but that it was now or never in the moment,
[12:46]and that it was kind of this uncontrollable urge
[12:48]to speak the truth, which we really haven't had
[12:51]socially as women for a very long time.
[12:53]I like how it was told in such a narrative way,
[12:56]like you were there, it's almost like in 30 years
[12:58]we can look back and see where this revolution began,
[13:02]and you're like, and then I drove across LA,
[13:04]and then I went to this person's house,
[13:05]and then I'm obviously in much more than that.
[13:07]That's a very in depth, like very in depth in detail,
[13:12]I think too about, which I think is an important part
[13:14]of the piece of, I hope, women.
[13:17]And men too, honestly, I hope they read the book
[13:19]and think about ways, when you're angry
[13:21]and you're frustrated, how do you get together
[13:24]with other women who are angry and frustrated
[13:26]and create something out of that?
[13:28]How do you create a movement or a group?
[13:30]Because you and I, sitting right here
[13:33]doing this podcast, we could start a movement right now.
[13:36]If you or and I were pissed about something.
[13:38]Yeah, let's do it.
[13:38]I could figure out something great
[13:39]that you have to contribute,
[13:41]and I have something great to contribute
[13:42]and together we would do that,
[13:43]and that is literally how time's up was formed,
[13:46]was a bunch of women who got in a room
[13:48]and they decided to change things.
[13:51]So cool, yeah, why not?
[13:53]I mean, better than like talking about
[13:56]what you're gonna wear to the Golden Globes,
[13:58]which is also fun.
[13:59]Yes, I'm making it sound like a lot easier to do.
[14:01]No, I know, you know what I mean,
[14:03]with a million heard of them.
[14:04]No, I'm just joking, I obviously know that.
[14:07]You wrote, there's a quote in the book
[14:08]about your childhood acting career.
[14:10]You said when you've spent your whole life
[14:11]pretending to be other people for a living,
[14:13]it is sometimes hard to know what you're capable of becoming
[14:16]or what you will want once you've stopped.
[14:19]So that's such a unique perspective to grow up
[14:21]pretending to be somebody else
[14:22]and feel like many people grow up
[14:24]not knowing really who they are,
[14:25]but they're not literally pretending to be other people.
[14:28]How do you think that's effective your life now?
[14:31]I don't know, that's a really good question.
[14:34]I dap a little bit in the book
[14:36]and talk a little bit about how interested I would be
[14:38]if somebody ever did a study on the effects
[14:42]of people who were child actors, again,
[14:45]and of any gender who grew up as actors,
[14:48]what effect that took on their central nervous system?
[14:51]Because I do think that there is some large effect
[14:53]that we won't know what that is,
[14:55]but when you are constantly telling your central nervous
[14:57]system and your body that it is, you know,
[14:59]in fight or flight mode, that it is being murdered,
[15:02]it is being raped, it is overdosing,
[15:05]like all of these things you do as an actor,
[15:07]while they're fake in your mind,
[15:10]your body is not faking it.
[15:12]So it's a very interesting thing,
[15:15]and I don't know other than to say,
[15:17]I feel like in a certain way,
[15:19]I have lied to myself for a very long time
[15:22]and I've had to reason with some of that.
[15:24]And I still love acting and I'm doing a show for FX,
[15:27]but I think I have kind of a bit of a disassociation
[15:31]with it now because I understand more of that.
[15:33]And so my healing work has had to be a little bit
[15:36]more encompassing than I think it was initially supposed to be.
[15:40]I think in just understanding what that is.
[15:43]And what do you do to take care of yourself now?
[15:45]Well, there's a term that I love to use,
[15:48]which I describe for, which could also be applied for,
[15:51]you know, the experience of coming together
[15:54]to create times up, which is that women are anger-nized,
[15:57]which means they are angry and organized.
[16:00]And so for me, I think taking care of myself
[16:03]is a combination of many things,
[16:04]which includes allowing myself to actually feel those emotions
[16:09]and to process them and put them into action
[16:12]instead of just swallowing them and being angry.
[16:15]But it also means taking real care of,
[16:19]not only my physical self,
[16:20]but I think my spiritual self,
[16:22]which is something I have felt very uttered from
[16:26]for a long time, the sense of taking care of my psyche
[16:30]and my brain and the other parts of me
[16:34]that aren't as nourished.
[16:35]So meditation is a really big, important factor in my life.
[16:40]Again, I try to get as much rest as I can
[16:42]when I can.
[16:44]Sleep is always great, water is always great.
[16:46]But also, I think to be able to speak to people
[16:49]about what's going on in your life,
[16:50]which is the action part of that.
[16:52]I am a big, huge proponent of therapy.
[16:55]I've gone every single week since I was very young.
[16:58]And I think we should all have somebody that we pay.
[17:02]any dollar amount, it could just be one dollar
[17:04]to be able to listen to us in some capacity.
[17:09]And I know that that's like a very privileged thing
[17:10]to be able to have,
[17:11]because not everyone can afford therapy,
[17:13]but there are many different ways
[17:15]in which that can be manifested in someone's life.
[17:17]Isn't that what Charlie Brown did with Lucy?
[17:19]Yes, she said if that's stand.
[17:21]It totally is.
[17:22]I mean, they had it right.
[17:23]Yeah, that's what I mean.
[17:25]Yeah, I know just, you know,
[17:27]the stations and pop ups and exactly.
[17:31]He loves to do a lot of writing,
[17:32]not just this book, but you've written lots of poetry,
[17:34]three books of poetry.
[17:36]I'm assuming you just write on your own for fun.
[17:39]I don't know, I shouldn't have said,
[17:40]no, let me ask this again.
[17:42]So ever, do you like to write,
[17:44]just writing help you sort through your emotions?
[17:46]Do you like to write when you're not on deadline
[17:48]or writing a book for publication or?
[17:50]I know, I do not at all.
[17:52]My two writing mentors,
[17:53]the first one is Jack Hirschman,
[17:55]who was the former poet laureate of San Francisco,
[17:57]phenomenal extraordinary poet.
[18:00]And the other was Wanda Coleman,
[18:01]the late poet out of Los Angeles,
[18:03]also like an extraordinary writer.
[18:05]Please get all of her books.
[18:06]They're on black sparrow press.
[18:08]They are the most important pieces of literary work,
[18:11]especially out of the 90s,
[18:12]especially by a black woman poet,
[18:14]but just get all her books.
[18:15]She was amazing.
[18:17]But they had two very different schools of thought
[18:19]about writing and they both taught those thoughts to me.
[18:21]And the first was Jack,
[18:23]who really was like,
[18:24]if you're gonna be a writer,
[18:25]you should write every day.
[18:26]You know, it's a discipline.
[18:28]And that never really worked for me.
[18:30]That was really difficult.
[18:32]And when I was a lot younger writing poetry in my teens,
[18:35]I was listening to him because he was a mentor
[18:37]in a lot of ways,
[18:38]but it also just didn't really work for me.
[18:40]It was tough.
[18:42]But Wanda gave me the best advice ever,
[18:45]which was to let the muse rest.
[18:47]That's what she would always say.
[18:49]So she didn't believe that there was anything
[18:51]real about writer's block,
[18:52]that there's no such thing as writer's block,
[18:54]that you have to let the muse rest.
[18:56]And when you're not writing
[18:57]or when you can't think of something to write,
[18:59]that's because she's sleeping.
[19:01]And you have to let her sleep.
[19:02]You wouldn't wanna be woken up in the middle of the night
[19:04]to like get up and write.
[19:06]And you have to think of your creative subconscious
[19:09]as that, as something that is healing and absorbing.
[19:12]And that is very much how I write
[19:14]and how I manifest my writing.
[19:17]I'm a big day dreamer.
[19:19]Often my husband will get really mad at me
[19:20]because he told me something four times.
[19:22]And I am like,
[19:23]I do not remember that at all.
[19:25]But I was just thinking about a colony
[19:28]that lived on the moon of half wolf, half women.
[19:32]Like it'll just be something
[19:34]that I have been daydreaming about.
[19:35]And usually that daydreaming will lead to an idea.
[19:39]And then that idea I will become very obsessed with
[19:43]and very stubborn about.
[19:44]I'm a triple tourist.
[19:45]So I get very stubborn about things.
[19:47]How do you become a triple tourist?
[19:48]My rising sign, my moon,
[19:50]my everything is in tourist.
[19:52]Just a big ol' tourist.
[19:53]Big tourist.
[19:54]But once I become really obsessed with an idea,
[19:57]I lean very heavily into it.
[19:58]And I...
[20:00]stick with it and sort of see it all the way through.
[20:01]So for me, the writing process was always about
[20:04]not so much the writing, but the manifesting
[20:07]and the daydreaming in between.
[20:09]And I'll spend days and hours just doing that
[20:12]and sort of collecting information in my brain,
[20:14]whether that's collecting ideas for poems
[20:16]or, you know, narrative stories or fiction,
[20:19]whatever that may be.
[20:21]And even writing movies, like you turn this message,
[20:24]movie it.
[20:25]Yeah, I actually adapted.
[20:26]I think to Black.
[20:27]Yeah, by Janet Fitch, it was a phenomenal book
[20:30]by Janet Fitch who wrote White O'Lander
[20:32]and her book after that was painted Black.
[20:33]And I adopted it for the screen
[20:35]and I believe it's on Netflix.
[20:37]So you can see it there.
[20:38]Very exciting.
[20:39]And you were talking before we started this
[20:41]about a trick you have for reading poetry
[20:45]and how you know, also for organizing books.
[20:47]Yeah, come back to that.
[20:48]But also for when you start reading poetry,
[20:50]how you can tell whether or not you're gonna like it
[20:52]pretty easily.
[20:53]What's the trick?
[20:54]And can I do some books without reading the whole book?
[20:57]Oh God, I don't know because, you know,
[20:58]the beauty of poetry is that a writer can say
[21:03]in one powerful punch of a line,
[21:07]one single sentence, what a different author
[21:10]has to take an entire chapter to say.
[21:13]And they're both beautiful, but they're both different.
[21:16]And to me, I like the compactness of poetry.
[21:20]I like that, you know, an author can,
[21:23]a good poet to me will always open a poem
[21:26]with an undeniable line, a line that doesn't have
[21:29]to be connected to the second line below it
[21:31]or even to a stanza, but then in one line,
[21:34]it will make you feel or understand something
[21:38]that you had not seen put into words before.
[21:41]So something as simple as he broke my heart,
[21:44]what are all the different ways you could say that?
[21:47]All the different metaphors and similes
[21:49]to talk about hearts, to talk about the brokenness of them,
[21:54]to talk about the person or the thing or the place
[21:57]or the smell or the time or the, you know, planet
[22:00]that did that to you.
[22:01]That is the ingenious effort of poetry to me
[22:04]is that you can really affect somebody
[22:07]and that the line or a poem will sneak up on you.
[22:11]It'll take a second for it to get there
[22:13]and then once it does, it has taken your breath away.
[22:16]It's amazing.
[22:17]The power of words made to make us feel all these things.
[22:19]Yes.
[22:20]It's like each book you never know, like I'm so excited.
[22:21]I know, it's the best.
[22:23]It makes sense of your own thoughts
[22:25]and feelings in the world that I don't know.
[22:27]I'm a big fan of books.
[22:29]As I know you are.
[22:30]Yes.
[22:31]And so you have a million books, too.
[22:32]I have some of them everywhere.
[22:34]What is your organizational trick?
[22:36]I obviously am for some.
[22:37]I completely amessy office piles of books here.
[22:40]I think she's trying to give me a hint.
[22:42]I'm obsessed and you should all know
[22:45]she has a beautiful library here
[22:47]and I'm looking at all the books.
[22:48]It's just a gorgeous library in her home.
[22:50]But for me, I probably like you.
[22:52]I get sent a lot of books because I also review
[22:55]and have a lot of wonderful relationships with editors
[22:57]and things like that.
[22:58]But I get sent piles and piles of books.
[23:00]So for me, I was trying to think of a way
[23:03]because I don't have my shelves are done for.
[23:06]Like I can't put any more books on them.
[23:08]But I also do love stacking books up on floors.
[23:11]It's a thing that I love.
[23:12]I love to be able to go to any given pile
[23:14]and be like, ooh, I remember this book was sent to me
[23:17]a few months ago.
[23:18]I'm going to pull this book out.
[23:19]But I kept thinking about like a way to pile them
[23:22]so that I knew what the hell those piles were.
[23:24]So I went on Etsy and I went to somebody
[23:28]who does those like rock garden rocks that say like love
[23:32]and health and wealth and you know what I'm saying?
[23:34]Yeah, yeah.
[23:36]And I asked her to put different words on them.
[23:39]And one says, unread, one says urgent,
[23:42]one says adieu, as in goodbye, one says pending.
[23:46]I have like a bunch of different words
[23:48]and I put these heavy rocks on top of the piles.
[23:52]And that way, like when you're walking by them,
[23:53]you can just look down and see what piles they are.
[23:56]But also it's harder to knock them over.
[23:58]And it's also just less tacky than a, you know,
[24:01]stick it up.
[24:02]Yes, I post it.
[24:03]It's just like a nice way to say like this
[24:07]is the unread pile.
[24:08]This is the urgent pile.
[24:09]So it's a small thing, but I do find that that is a way
[24:13]to, especially if you are reviewing
[24:15]or like if there were books you were considering
[24:17]for your podcast that you thought would be great for that.
[24:19]You could have its own pile with a rock that's.
[24:21]I need these rocks.
[24:22]Yeah.
[24:23]It's so good.
[24:24]Are we going to find this?
[24:25]Is this Etsy lady going to make them in?
[24:25]Literally, all you have to do is just search like, you know,
[24:28]personalized rock.
[24:29]Yeah, the garden, garden, garden, personalized garden rocks
[24:34]or personalized garden.
[24:35]I would never, as aspirational, personalized garden rocks.
[24:38]I'm sure.
[24:39]Wow, I have not googled that before.
[24:42]I have to say, but now I will.
[24:44]If only you could see my Google history.
[24:47]Did you say somewhere recently that someone put that?
[24:50]And I feel it was one of the newspapers.
[24:51]One whole page of a newspaper was just the things
[24:54]that people had Google that whole year.
[24:55]That's hilarious.
[24:56]It was a really cool.
[24:57]I think it was like in the New York Times review over the,
[24:58]I'm probably not saying this right.
[25:00]That's something in the last two weeks where it was a whole page.
[25:03]I bet it was all over the place.
[25:05]Yeah, it was all over.
[25:06]I couldn't even know after a while, but so what's coming next
[25:09]year?
[25:10]You're going to write it in the book.
[25:11]You have an FX show.
[25:12]What's that about?
[25:13]What's your story?
[25:15]Oh, man, there's so much going on.
[25:16]Well, right now, I just, since after this book comes out,
[25:20]which I'm going to go do a little mini tour for it,
[25:21]if you want to find out any of that information,
[25:23]you can go to amtam.com.
[25:25]That's my website.
[25:26]But after that, I think I'm going to do the show for FX
[25:29]called Why the Last Man.
[25:30]I'm co-starring opposite Diane Lane.
[25:33]And it's based on the DC graphic novel of the same name,
[25:36]Why the Last Man.
[25:38]About a post-apocalyptic world in which there is a defect
[25:42]in the Why genome and all of a sudden,
[25:44]all men dropped dead at the same time.
[25:46]And women are left to run the world.
[25:48]But that is not necessarily a great thing.
[25:49]It can be a fantasy show.
[25:51]Yes, but it's also a little Lord of the Flies
[25:54]because things are not that simple.
[25:58]So I'm so excited to do that.
[25:59]And I get to play a character unlike anything
[26:02]I played before.
[26:02]But after that, and as far as the writing,
[26:05]I'm hoping to direct another feature this year.
[26:07]There's a couple of things in the works for that.
[26:10]I'm circulating a couple of different book ideas.
[26:12]And I'm strongly feeling pulled to return to poetry
[26:15]in a certain way.
[26:16]So maybe that and something else, maybe a new novel.
[26:19]That's exciting.
[26:20]Yeah.
[26:21]And honey, you, and you have a little girl.
[26:23]Yes, I have a three year old.
[26:25]I have to tell everyone that Zibi was very sweet
[26:27]and let me be very, very late today because of my daughter.
[26:30]So, oh my gosh, of course, I appreciate it.
[26:33]I understand.
[26:33]Oh my gosh.
[26:34]I mean, that is my life.
[26:35]Nothing is predictable.
[26:36]It's like every day is different, different.
[26:39]And especially when the teachers are like,
[26:41]I mean, no offense to the teachers.
[26:42]But it's like, once you get like school-age kids too,
[26:44]it's like, I have other stuff I have planned.
[26:47]What do you mean now?
[26:48]I'm coming in.
[26:49]I have somebody great coming to talk to me anyway.
[26:51]Anyway.
[26:51]Anyway.
[26:51]That sounds for yourself.
[26:52]I'll do anything from my kids.
[26:53]I don't miss anything.
[26:55]But I'm just saying something like,
[26:56]I love my kids.
[26:57]I never hate them.
[26:58]I'm perfect.
[26:58]I have no mom guilt.
[26:59]I'm great.
[27:00]I'm so skinny.
[27:05]Anyway.
[27:06]See, I have a real.
[27:07]No, no, not at all.
[27:08]Oh my gosh.
[27:09]Does she get into your work yet?
[27:10]She old enough, not really, right?
[27:11]Like three, she's still getting the vibe of what you're doing.
[27:15]And she does.
[27:16]And she does love to come in and go through my books.
[27:19]I try to keep my door, my office door locked.
[27:21]Never to keep her out, but mostly because she's
[27:24]very into my garden rocks.
[27:26]So sometimes piles will get confused.
[27:30]So you got to be careful about with your kids, I would say.
[27:33]But she is.
[27:34]I mean, I tried to explain to her, like,
[27:35]mommy wrote this book when she, especially
[27:38]like, when a new box, which is the best feeling ever
[27:40]as an author, when your book comes in,
[27:42]is like, there's just nothing better.
[27:44]Like the finished product.
[27:45]She'll take them out, but she'll normally just sort of flip
[27:47]through them and then point to the back and say,
[27:50]mommy, you know, she'll say, but mommy's on there.
[27:52]And she sees the photo, which is really cool.
[27:54]But yeah, I can't wait until she can see me, you know,
[27:58]in some acting stuff, that'll be pretty interesting.
[28:01]Would you knowing what you know about your whole life
[28:03]and how it's developed?
[28:04]Would you ever, would you, the answer is no.
[28:06]OK.
[28:08]I couldn't even get it out.
[28:10]Obviously, if she wants to act, I'll be OK with it.
[28:13]But it's not something I think that any parent should
[28:15]let their kid do, you know, without a lot of consideration.
[28:19]It's a tough industry, really, really tough.
[28:22]And tougher than you think on kids who
[28:24]are their entire purpose in life at that age
[28:27]is to please their parents and make sure their parents
[28:30]are happy, because that brings joy into their lives.
[28:33]So it's hard to know what a kid really wants
[28:35]and doesn't want.
[28:36]And I would say that the business has gotten so much better,
[28:40]certainly not just from my age, but my father,
[28:42]who was Russ Tamblin, who's not what he's still alive.
[28:45]In West Side Story and all these old great movies,
[28:47]but his experience with the Judy Garland's and that era
[28:52]was much, much different than it is now.
[28:55]But still, I think you just need to have a lot of consideration.
[28:57]It can't just be like, my daughter's really great in school
[29:00]plays.
[29:01]I should get her in acting.
[29:02]I think you need to have a real serious thought
[29:04]about the psychological ramifications,
[29:07]most especially if you have a girl.
[29:10]Interesting.
[29:11]OK, I'm glad you said that because my daughters are always
[29:14]asking as many, and not to say it's only girls,
[29:17]but as many kids like to do.
[29:18]Yes.
[29:19]And it's fine.
[29:20]Even like YouTube.
[29:21]I'm like, you know what?
[29:21]It's OK.
[29:22]You don't need to be out there.
[29:23]Yeah.
[29:24]Anyway.
[29:25]Do you have any advice for aspiring authors?
[29:27]I think my advice for aspiring authors
[29:31]would be to really try to hone in on your, not just
[29:36]your craft, but what your individual voice
[29:40]is what it has to say and what it has to offer.
[29:43]I think I became my strongest and best writing self
[29:46]when I did that.
[29:48]So when I was trying to figure out who I was, who I wanted
[29:52]to be, but especially in these last five years,
[29:55]it just came in with a wild force.
[29:58]And I became the author that I had always.
[30:00]wanted to be. And sometimes that takes time. So I think part of that advice would be to be patient
[30:05]with yourself and to know that rejection is inevitable, lots of rejection, but to, if you really
[30:13]believe that that is the right creative career and choice for you, to stick with it and to work
[30:20]as hard as you can to figure out what the individual unique thing is you have to say and say it in
[30:27]a unique and individual way that is true to you. Piece of cake. No, easy. Easy stuff.
[30:32]Easy, easy, easy. Just like two decades of torture for yourself. No big deal and joy.
[30:38]Well, thanks so much for coming on momson. Have time to read books and for sharing all of your
[30:42]thoughts and beautiful writing and your whole experience. Thank you so much.
[30:45]It was a pleasure. You've been listening to momson have time to read books with Zibi Owens.
[30:50]Please make sure to sign up for my newsletter at Zibi Owens.com to get more updates about episodes
[30:56]like these and also lots of live events. Thanks so much. Today's episode has been sponsored by poets
[31:02]and writers. Visit pw.org to get inspired, connect with other writers, and explore a treasure trove
[31:08]of information about writing contests, literary agents, and more. You can follow me on Instagram at
[31:13]moms don't have time to read books. Thanks so much to Steve and Ryan at Texture Sound for the
[31:18]sound editing. And thank you to Morning Moon Productions for providing this fantastic intro and
[31:23]now trim music. Thanks for listening. You can always email me at Zibi at Zibi Owens.com.